Image provided by: Texas A&M University
About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 24, 1982)
Battalion/Page 2 September 24,1982 opinion, The human comedy- unwanted children by Art Buchwald The lady came in to see Senator Jesse Beenbag the other day. She was carrying a baby in her arms. Beenbag immediately called in the Senate photographer to have his picture taken with it. “It’s mighty kind of you to stop by,” the senator said, trying to usher her out of his office after the picture taking. “I didn’t come to have my picture taken,” the woman said. • “Then why are you here?” “You’re leading the fight against abor tion, and I thought you could help me with this unwanted baby.” “You mean you don’t want this baby?” “No, sir. I have five more at home and I can’t afford to feed them. I figured since you are so interested in human life, you could tell me where I could get some help to raise this one.” “My interest in human life starts at conception and ends with the fetus. Once the baby is born, you’re on your own.” “That’s what I was afraid of. How come if the Reagan government is so con cerned about preventing people from having abortions, they keep cutting back on all the services for unwanted chil dren?” “The government cannot afford to take care of children after they’re born. We can’t fund every screwball social program for unwanted children, or we’ll never have a balanced budget.” “So what do I do with the kid?” “Madam, I have no idea what you should do with your child. But if you think the anti-abortion forces are going to support it from the cradle to the grave, you’re sadly mistaken. The federal gov ernment has to get out of the child- rearing business.” “Since you’re so concerned about the value of human life, why don’t you take the kid?” “What would I do with a child?” “That’s the question I keep asking my self.” “Have you gone to the local child ser vices office?” “They closed it because the govern ment cut off all their funds. The local charities have no money, and all the food programs are going out of business.” “Then get a job,” Beenbag said impa tiently. “I’m trying to. But even if I found one I couldn’t afford the day-care center. I decided to come to you as a -last resort because of your interest in a baby’s right to life.” “You came to the wrong person,” Beenbag said angrily. “My bill makes it a federal crime NOT to have a baby. But it doesn’t provide continuing services for people who have one. Why is your kid crying?” “I guess he’s hungry,” the lady said. “Unwanted children cry a lot.” “You’re not going to change my stand on abortions just because your baby is crying,” Beenbag warned. “Were you sent by the Planned Parenthood people?” “No, it was my idea. I saw you on televi sion a while back saying it was a mortal sin for a pregnant woman to abort, so I had my baby. Since you were so adamant on the subject I thought you or President Reagan might have some ideas as to what I do now.” “Madam, I’m a very busy person. I’m trying to get prayers back in school, pro tect the tobacco industry and fight the hand-gun control lobby. I don’t have time to worry about your child’s welfare.” The lady put the baby on Beenbag’s desk. “What are you doing?” Beenbag screamed. “I’m changing his diapers. You don’t have a large hankerchief to spare, do you?” “Get out of my office and take that bawling kid with you,” Beenbag said. “If you support right to life,” the lady said, “you have to support right-to-life functions.” “But he just did it all over the Presi dent’s letter of support for my bill,” Beenbag cried. The lady smiled, and said, “Naughty boy.” The Battalion USPS 045 360 Member of Texas Press Association Southwest Journalism Conference Editor Diana Sultenfuss Managing Editor Phyllis Henderson Associate Editor Denise Richter City Editor Bernie Fette Assistant City Editor Gary Barker Sports Editor Frank L. Christlieb Entertainment Editor Nancy Floeck Assistant Entertainment Editor Colette Hutchings News Editors Rachel Bostwick, Cathy Capps, Daniel Puckett, Jan Werner, Todd Woodard Staff Writers Jennifer Carr, Susan Dittman, Beverly Hamilton, John Lopez, Robert McGlohon Hope E. Paasch, Bill Robinson, Dana Smelser, Joe Tindel, John Wagner, Rebeca Zimmermann Copy editor Elaine Engstrom Cartoonist Scott McCullar Graphic Artist % Pam Starasinic Photographers ... David Fisher, Octavio Garcia, Jane Hollingsworth, John Ryan, Editorial Policy The Battalion is a non-profit, self-supporting news paper operated as a community service to Texas A&M TT niversity and Bryan-College Station. Opinions ex pressed in The Battalion are those of the editor or the author, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Texas A&M University administrators or faculty mem bers, or of the Board of Regents. The Battalion also serves as a laboratory newspaper for students in reporting, editing and photography clas ses within the Department of Communications. Questions or comments concerning any editorial matter should be directed to the editor. United Press International is entitled exclusively to the use for reproduction of all news dispatches credited to it. Rights of reproduction of all other matter herein reserved. Second class postage paid at College Station, TX 77843. Fountain protest complaint Editor: We enjoy, here in these United States of America, the right of freedom of ex pression. I enjoy that freedom, and exer cise it. I would not have this precious responsibility abridged. But this after noon I was confronted with the usurpa tion of that responsibility, and the squan dering of that right, in a demonstration by some “Palestinians” on our hallowed MSC grounds: they were there by permit from the MSC Concessions Committee. I was accosted by some of the most obscene signs I have ever laid eyes on. These “Palestinians” had written that Reagan was the same as Hitler; that Be gin was the same as Hitler; that the Un ited States was responsible for the car nage in Beirut; that the Israeli people are the same as the Germans who decimated the Jews under the Holocaust ... The best that can be said for these wild accusations is that they are inaccurate. The most that can be said about these statements is that they are inflammatory. The least that can be said for these state ments is that they are in poor taste. In accurate, inflammatory statements promulgated in poor taste are grist for the mill lawyers tread, and as they say in the trade: “These are litigious times 11 . Those statements are untrue, patently untrue, and they were written large in our Rudder plaza. I imagine there is enough support on this campus to file a Reader’s Forum class action suit against, not only or speci fically these “Palestinians”, but any group of firebrands that wish to drag this coun try of ours into their internecine miscon duct. The Iranian students staged just such an assinine demonstration, and got away with it. It needs to stop. A lawsuit that would result in the revocation of passports and visas would get these pam pered pomposities out of here and back on the front lines where they can do their friends and neighbors some good. I don’t want to deport everybody. I revel in the international climate this campus has attracted. I exult in the potential for understanding afforded in such an international gathering. But the word destroy is inconsonant with under standing. It is illegal to incite the overthrow of this government, regardless of national origin. The word destroy incites to just this sort of thing. Those “Palestinians” .were shouting long and loud the absolute necessity to destroy the Zionist. And writ ten on those large placards that group was holding up for our perusal was the identity of our government, its leaders, and our people with the zionist. The Concessions Committee assutf me, when I called them to exort them more conscientious appraisal of ti material they permit, that this groupi under permit for a silent demonstratic They exceeded their permit. ThevW also left themselves open to theconsq ences of behaving illegally in a pul place. We have a system in these Unit States of America, albeit imperfect,ti is the envy of all the world. Ithasbeemi best system for the last two hundti years. By our unceasing protectiona exercise of this system, it will reus quintessential forever. But only solo as we concei tedly, honestly guard ill must use our system to protect ours tern. Cancer is not recognised as aii: vader by the body’s immune system,* tolerating the existence of cancer,i body dies. Let’s agree to disagree on theiss that confront us. Let’s behave diploi tically toward the various races web here. By all means, let us be polite too another. We cannot revile anothera expect a smile in return. We have! only one man in our history who hadi ability to love his enemies, andweh him for that. It is not necessarilyino, bent on us that we continue that haviour. R.S. Etherec 1505 S. Des ,.,, DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUeSTJON f, scl esi ha 19 inj re; wc ra: cip ha ak scl efi he a I th; al’ po m; ke scl A* K A in tl ane in e mar ing ( stitc her they don . cha : the ado said the ratil vers cha: gen Van (An orie havi our sena V cult tee i cons an a Stuc dire den T Letters: Halt traditions quarreling Editor: I must say that all this NECESSARY petty quarreling about tradition, be tween the students and Alumni at Texas A&M has reached a malicious level. I think it’s a toss of the coin to decide who is getting hurt the most, the students, the Alumni, or the University. Obviously, when the student body experiences a worthwhile and unique experience, there is harmony and good brotherhood between all students. When the experi ence is not worthwhile to MOST students there is a breakdown ... in the system. The breakdown has been a tong time coming, and I think maybe we’ve peaked out... let’s face the facts. Tradition is the willfull handing down of stories, beliefs, customs, etc., from generation to genera tion, and these traditions can or may be observed by ALL or by one student, be cause this is his or her right to do so. Each one of us has the right to express our school spirit and to choose if he or she wants to participate in school tradition. We are all attending Texas A&M to receive the best education our money can buy, and to experience new and old con cepts, and learn how to better relate with our fellow men and woman. Just because a segment of the student body doesn’t want to participate in the traditions here, doesn’t stop those that with to do so, and only the narrow minded could think that those not wishing to do so are BAD AGGIES, or should leave. Sometimes traditions don’t represent the views of the entire student body be cause of the changes that the University went through to make it a more diverse institution, such is the case at Texas A&M today, and I believe we’re at another crossroads of change. Most of our traditions have a military history associated with them, because of our rich past when every male was in the Corps of Cadets and the Corps of Cadets Standard represented the views and stan dards of the ENTIRE student body. To day, a very small percent of the 36,000 students are in the Corps of Cadets, and it would be safe to assume that because of this decline, the Corps of Cadets Standard does not represent the views of the ma jority of the students attending Texas A&M, therefore why can’t these REAL TWO PERCENTERS enjoy and cherish their events and traditions, and not dic tate policy for the rest of us Aggies. We’re not trying to forget our rich past, and we don’t interfere in any of your choices, because they are your choices, and we have a choice, too. Terry Coghlan College Station Private court system Editor: In response to Dick West’s column of Sept. 20, in which he satirically suggests a private court system as an alternative to the federal and state courts, I would like to offer a clarification. Being a humorist, Mr. West faces a problem with communicating preo* ideas. In order to be funny, hen® sometimes slur over or exaggerateso# times valid points. In his recent artklf j think there is an extremely crucial^- worthy of further examination. Mr. West satirizes a hypotheticalp 11 vate court system as a absurd andridi^ lous idea. He is right. It is. Whatiswr^ is his apparent association of this & with private mailing systems, pri'J 8 penal institutions and programs for® breaks for private education. Any true free enterprise advocatert 1 ognizes that the precondition for 1$ dom among men is an objective arbinf tor, and government serves this purpo* To suggest that a major tool with wind government carries out its vital funcM* of arbitration is to be put in non-objectn f and private hands is of course folly,^ Mr. West is correct in identifying this However, not all the “incursions"^ “traditionally” governmental function (as Mr. West states) are undesirable ' fact, many governmental functionsj# fied by tradition have absolutely noti fication in view of a free economy whit 1 recognizes individual rights. Possp candidates for examination under type of function include the postal sc r vice, social security, bail-outs for fai 1 ! industries, public education, and nw ri more. Mr. West did illustrate an import^ point, and it is this: A free system T quires that its members maintain $ ongoing, intelligent observation of 1[i working in order to keep it free. Frank Knickerbock 306 Redmu*