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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 5, 1965)
THE BATTALION Friday, November 5, 1965 College Station, Texas Page 3 r ly equiv. area of ist Paki. area of in d sup. 5 million rn coast, tbian Sea a on the ; be north «d States r on the the east, 16 Bay of a small adjoining on three ince com- Bes with nately o< it one of ted areas per cent 98 per of West A Dog Among Dogs Ranger A&M Campus Legend w mean- a little lay each itty good ople who me regu- are still vhat has :eparates from anguish nto this there've ts too. tough, is i Guion ; at 8 But if any in- his play ie finest Players' ng that Ing, al- produce xt week leserves. Seems tie han- e north ig f oot ‘ h open e quite itudent- of this 3 com- . of a sports to the >nt t0 - ties as n Daily <■ about credit editor on the ; daily Bryan- e one ,at the sched- is J an ents wn to 1 with show- p.m- timer- chub waiting for a handout By LANI PRESSWOOD Battalion Amusements Editor Faster than a speeding Volkswagen. More pow erful than a mess hall bouncer. Able to leap tall curbs in a single bound. Who can it be . . . Superman? Wonder Wart- hog? No, no, no — it’s the bulldog with the person ality plus, the unmistakable, imperturbable, irre pressible Ranger, every Aggie’s buddy. And now that every Aggie’s buddy has launch ed a campaign to become every Aggie’s mascot, the time has come to expore the Ranger Legend to sep arate fact from fiction in the day-to-day saga of academe’s greatest canine. Despite rumors to the contrary, Ranger did not arrive at Aggieland via a spaceship from a disinte grating planet. Instead he made a very down-to- earth appearance seven years ago as the pet of now-A&M-President Earl Rudder, a fact which ac counts for the nickname “Earl” which Ranger has acquired. The Rudders naturally expected him to stick close to the home grounds, like most ordinary dogs are prone to do. Ranger quickly proved he was no ordinary dog however, by making the entire A&M campus his backyard. An attempt was made to halt his roving ways by tying him up, Ranger proved equal to the challenge. He settled himself in the back of his dog house and sulked, catching a skin disease after a while. But the dermatology problem was solved in short order and Ranger has had a free rein ever since. Even as a pup the impressive animal showed definite promise of greatness. At the Fish Ball one year young Ranger turned up underneath some girl’s spacious, billowing formal. He beat a rather hasty retreat for the exit afterwards but not before leav ing one hysterical girl and a near-riot in his wake. Fortunately, Ranger’s zest for life didn’t dimin ish with maturity. He developed a technique of stop ping cars which is likely unmatched in the annals of dogdom. The sight is a familiar one to most students but it never ceases to produce a smile, a chuckle, or an outright belly laugh. First, the cunning rogue sta tions himself in striking position near a curb. When a likely-looking auto comes beadling along, the chase is on. Ranger lights out in pursuit of his victim like an Internal Revenue agent after a prizefighter. The dog hurtles his massive frame at breakneck speed alongside the car, surges ahead of the onrushing vehicle, maneuvers in front of one of the tires, and then slows down. This forces the car to brake down to approxi mately three miles per hour and at this speed Ran ger chances a full stop. The satisfying screech of brakes then announces to the world that Ranger has made another conquest. He has once again taken on two tons of steel and come out on top. Advancing years and an expanding paunch have forced the heady animal to refine his technique even further. He usually lurks near corners or sharp curves now to compensate for the increased horse power in Detroit’s more recent products. And he’s also shown a tendency of late to prey on foreign sports cars and motor scooters, which are hopelessly overmatched by him. Ranger’s true motive for these raids is appar ently unknown to many Aggies. Actually, he doesn’t have anything against automobile drivers and the sight of a traffic jam of his own making doesn’t really excite him that much. His genuine purpose is hitchhiking, and if an irate driver will simply open one of his car doors instead of just turning purple, the fun-loving bull dog will obligingly hop in for a lift around the block. Several years back though, the lift around the block turned into an excursion across the state. It seems that an A&M student from Kerrville just hap pened to carry Ranger home with him one weekend. He spread it around town that he was the new owner of the A&M President’s dog and one of the towns people relayed the information back to College Sta tion. The abductor was quietly but swiftly called on the carpet and by the next day Ranger was once again cutting up on the campus he calls home, six months after his unscheduled departure. Once back, he rapidly took up where he had left off, which included a resumption of his never-ending bouts with the mess hall management. He delights in mealhounding and Aggies willingly oblige although somehow the authorities don’t seem to share the stu dents’ enthusiasm. No, Ranger never has to sweat meals, any more than he has to worry about a place to sleep. He has been known to grace dorm rooms, lounges, class rooms and even the library with his slumbering pres ence. It’s not a one-way street however, because in return Ranger willingly volunteers as the campus bulletin board. Proclamations written with shoe pol ish have appeared frequently on the civic-minded canine’s sides, ranging anywhere from “Beat The Hell Outa TU” to “Panty Raid Tonight.” In addition, Ranger enthusiastically supports Aggie athletic endeavors. Who can ever erase from memory the sight of the stouthearted bulldog’s heroic charge of a tyrannic basketball official last year? And when Reveille, the school’s official mascot, became sick this fall, Ranger admirably filled in at the first home football game. After the Aggie Band took the field at halftime, Ranger exploded from the chute at the north end zone and romped hell-for- leather past thousands of cheering fans. Before the evening was over, the adventuresome animal tripped half a dozen band members, attacked the bass drummer, and assaulted the University of Houston’s cougar. It’s not known what was going through the mind of the A&M band director, Col. Adams, at the time, but the crowd didn’t seem to mind the impromptu performance at all. Such wholesome and worthwhile activities as these prompted The Battalion to unhesitatingly en dorse Ranger for the U. S. Presidency last October. Praising his “bulldog tenacity” and “unquestionable moral integrity,” the editorial dropped a bombshell on the political world. But despite Ranger’s dauntless campaign, he was eventually outballoted by some obscure politico from the Pedernales River bottoms. Nevertheless, national political commentators are making no pre dictions about LBJ’s chances to again upset the magnetic bulldog in 1968. This then is Ranger ... a Presidential candidate, a stopper of cars, a carrier of messages, an enemy of seriousness, a flouter of convention, a friend of Ag gies, a dog among dogs . . . and a legend in his own time. . . .initiated into Corps what a dull TV show . . what a dull lecture Canine Hitchhiker Demonstrates Familiar Techniques ' r 'ai '-mp- lurks on corner . . . chase is on offered a ride . . . ignores generous driver . . . triumphant at last