^3. P-i B
The Battalion .... College Station (Brazos County), Texas
PAGE 2 Wednesday, October 10, 1956
John Smith Heads Business Society
John E. Smith has been elected
president of the Business Society
for the 1956-57 school year.
Also elected was sponsor Her
bert G. Kenagy, of the Business
Administration Division, v i c e -
president, Robert Glasgow; secre
tary-treasurer, J. C. Niemeyer;
program chairman, James Goode
and representatives to the Arts
and Science Council Glendall
Rand and Dale Lake.
On Campus
with
MaxQhvlmm
(Author of "Barefoot Boy with Cheek,” etc.)
MARKING ON THE CURVE...
AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT
Twonkey Crimscott was a professor. Choate Sigafoos
was a sophomore. Twonkey Crimscott was keen, cold,
brilliant. Choate Sigafoos was loose, vague, adenoidal.
Twonkey Crimscott believed in diligence, discipline, and
marking on the curve. Choate Sigafoos believed in elves,
Jayne Mansfield, and thirteen hours sleep each night.
Yet there came a time when Twonkey Crimscott —
mentor, sage, and savant — was thoroughly out-thought,
out-foxed, out-maneuvered, out-ployed, and out-witted
by Choate Sigafoos, sophomore.
It happened one day when Choate was at the library
studying for one of Mr. Crimscott’s exams in sociology.
Mr. Crimscott’s exams were murder — plain, flat murder.
They consisted of one hundred questions, each question
having four possible answers—A, B, C, and D. The trouble
was that the four choices were so subtly shaded, so in
tricately worded, that students more clever by far than
Choate Sigafoos were often set to gibbering.
So on this day Choate sat in the library poring over
his sociology text, his tiny brow furrowed with concen
tration, while all around him sat the other members of
the sociology class, every one studying like crazy. “What
a waste!” he thought. “All this youth, this verve, this
bounce, chained to musty books in a musty library! We
should be out singing and dancing and smooching and
cutting didoes on the greensward!”
Then, suddenly, an absolute gasser of an idea hit
Choate. “Listen !” he shouted to his classmates. “Tomor
row when we take the exam, let’s all — every one of us —
check Choice ‘A’ on every question — every one of them.”
“Huh?” said his classmates.
“Mr. Crimscott marks on the curve. If we all check
the same answers, then we all get the same score, and
everybody in the class gets a ‘C’.”
“Hmm,” said his classmates.
“Let’s get out of here and have a ball!” said Choate.
So they all ran out and lit Philip Morrises and had
a ball, as, indeed, you will too when you light a Philip
Morris, for if there ever was a cigarette to lift the spirit
and gladden the heart, it is today’s new Philip Morris-
firm and pure and fragrant and filled with true, natural,
golden tobacco, lip end to tip end.
ihouid be Oat 61MU6 MddtfClOS OOJ OtWOcMte?
Well sir, the next morning the whole class did what
Choate said and, sui’e enough, they all got “C’s,” and they
picked Choate up and carried him on their shoulders and
sang “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” and plied him with
sweetmeats and Philip Morris and girls and put on
buttons which said “I DOTE ON CHOATE.”
But they were celebrating too soon. Because the next
time shrewd old Mr. Crimscott gave them a test, he gave
them only one question —to wit: write a 30,000 word
essay on “Crime Does Not Pay.”
“You and your ideas,” they said to Choate and tore
off his epaulets and broke his sword and drummed him
out of the school. Today, a broken man, he earns a meager
living as a camshaft in Toledo.
©Max Shulman, 1956
At the top of the curve of. smoking pleasure, you'll find today's
netc Philip Morris. So, confidently, say the makers of Philip
Morris, who bring you this column each week.
The Battalion
The Editorial Policy of The Battalion
Represents the Views of the Student Editors
The Battalion, daily newspaper of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of
Texas and the City of College Station, i» published by students in the Office of Student
Publications as a non-profit educational service. The Director of Student Publications
Is Ross Strader. The governing body of all student publications of the A.&M. College
^ of Texas is the Student Publications Board. Faculty members are Dr. Carroll D,
Daverty, Chairman; Prof. Donald D. Burchard, Prof. Tom Leland and Mr. Bennie
Zihn. Student members are John W. Gossett. Murray Milner. Jr., and Leighlus E.
Sheppard, Jr., Ex-officio members are Mr. Charles Roeber, and Ross Strader, Sec
retary. The Battalion is published four times a week during the regular school year
and once a week during the summer and vacation and examination periods. Days of
publication are Tuesday through Friday for the regular school year and on Thursday
during the summer terms and during examination and vacation periods. The Battalion
is not published on the Wednesday immediately preceeding Easter or Thanksgiving. Sub
scription rates are $3.50 per semester, $6.00 per school year, $6.50 per full year,
or $1.00 per month. Advertising rates furnished on request.
Represented nationally bj |
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cisco.
Entered as second-class
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Collette Station, Texas,
under the Act of Con-
*rees of March 8, 1870.
Member of:
The Associated Press
Texas Press Association
The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for republi
cation of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in
the paper and local news of spontaneous origin published herein. Rights
of republication of all other matter herein are also reserved.
News contributions may be made by telephone (VI 6-6618 or VI-
6-4910) or at the editorial office room, on the ground floor of the
YMCA. Classified ads may be placed by telephone (VI 6-6415) or a'
the Student Publications Office, ground floor of the YMCA.
JIM BOWER Z Editor
Dave McReynolds Managing Editor
Barry Iiart Sports Editor
Welton Jon'es City Editor
Leland Boyd, Jim Neighbors, Joe Tindel News Editors
Bernice Schnerr Society Editor
Don Bisett, J. B. McLeroy Staff Photographers ;
Connie Eckard Reporter
Kenneth George Circulation Manager
Maurice Olian CHS Sports Correspondent
DATELINE
AYRSHIRE
By
Ken George
Has the thought ever occured to
you that Joe Delatte is a second-
rate Aggie? Well, he is according
to a high-ranking Air Force ROTC
instructor. The reason is because
he’s a nonreg and in this Officer’s
eyes all non-regs are second rate
Aggies.
* * *
An Aggie and his wife were
fishing on the Brazos river
last week. Both were using
casting rods and both got a
bite at the same time. The
Mrs. shouted to her husband
that something was on her line
and what should she do. He
told her to reel in the line.
This she did with much work
and worry and finally she had
the fish pressed tightly against
the end of the rod. She then
looked very puzzled and said
to her husband, “What do I do
now?” Well by this time his
fish had long since left for
Navasota and he looked at her
disgustedly and said “Shinny
up the pole and strangle it !”
* * *
Corsicana will be remembered, in
the minds of a few at least, for
its defiant animals. Sunday even
ing about 6:30 the weekend traffic
was good and heavy. As the cars
coming from Dallas came into
Corsicana they had to stop and
inch along for about three blocks.
The trouble was a small black dog
who had decided to establish legal
residence in the middle of the
southbound lane. At one time he
■had stopped 37 cars and three
trailer trucks.
* * *
Monday afternoon in the MSC
freshman room, Doug Mullins made
the understatement of the year. It
was the top of the ninth with two
out and Mullins comes up with
“This kid Larson is pitch’in a
pretty good ball game!”
llTTLE MAN ON CAMPUS
by Dick Bibler
3
eTUPENT
INFI^AI^Y
90 YOU £V£&HAVE ANYTHING ON YOUK MINP VBtW&e 6IRLS?/
MVI Program Lagging
Warns Texas Officials
Hlavinka Elected
Czech Club Head
The A&M Czech Club has, elected
Victor Hlavinka, East Bernard,
president.
Dr. Jan Skrivanek of A&M For
eign Language Department is fac
ulty sponsor.
The club will meet on the second
and fourth Tuesdays of each month.
Meeting time is 7:39 p. . m. in
room 123, Academic Building. Dues
are 50 cents a semester.
Texas motorists are exercising
the old American custom of putting
off until tomorrow what ought to
be done today, said Col. Homer
Garrison, Director of Texas De
partment of Public Safety.
Some concern has been raised in
the state capitol over the fact that
the state’s motor vehicle inspec
tion program is lagging far be
hind schedule.
The first month of the new in
spection period ended Oct. 15 and
only 4 per cent of the registered
Center Nev/s
Chess Committe will meet to
night at 8:30 in the Social Room
of the MSC. Anyone interested
is invited to attend this initial
meeting of the group. Officers
will be elected and plans for the
coming year will be discussed.
vehicles in the state have been in
spected. The inspection period will
end April 15, 1957.
“The inspection period embraces
seven months,” Garrison said, “and
that means a minimum of 14 per
cent of the cars must be checked
each month in order to avoid un
necessary rushes on the inspection
stations in the final weeks of the
period.”
WEDNESDAY
“ON THE THRESHOLD
OF SPACE”
with GUY MADISON
—Plus—
“HOW TO MARRY A
MILLIONAIRE”
with MARILYN MONROE
COL. JOHN F. GUILLETT
Field Representative
United Services Life Insurance Co.
1625 Eye Street, N.W.
Washington. D.C.
2518 Great Oaks Parkway
Austin 5, Texas — Phone: GL. 3-6420
WEDNESDA Y
“MAVERICK
QUEEN”
BAKBAKA STANWYCK
CIRCLE
WED. & THUR.
“Rawhide Years”
Tony Curtis
— A L S O —
“Silver Chalice”
Viroinia Mayo
W E D N E S D A Y
20th Century-Fox pre
OFl
CinemaScoPE:
COLOR by DELUXE • Stereophonic Sound
happy
tune!
TO MY MARTI M
show
With their International Singing’ Star IN PERSON
SWEET—The Petticoats — Three Real Dolls
SWING—Tex Benekee & His Orchestra
ROCK & ROLL—The Jodimars—Bill Haley Alumni
SATIRE IN DANCE—Conn & Mann—Action & Humor
A HARMONICAT—Johnny O’Brien-
Musical Will Rogers
THURSDAY, OCT. 25-
Tickets $2.50 — $2.00
(Not Town Hall)
WHITE COLISEUM — 8:00
— $1.50—Student Activities
MSC Arts Group
Exhibits Work
The Arts Division of the newly
formed Creative Arts Group is
presently showing Circuit No. 6
of the Texas Fine Arts Associa
tion in the Promenade Cases and
lobby of the Memorial Student
Center.
Lasting until Oct. 16, the show
contains 24 paintings: 12 in oil,
10 in water color, casein, or water
soluble media and two prints.
Three entries are works done by
local artists.
A water color entitled “Deep
South” was done by Franklin D.
Lawyer, formerly on the staff of
the Division of Architecture and
iioyv employed with Jerin, Caudill,
Rowlett, Scott and Associates.
Casein entitled “The White
Boat” was done by James B. Rabe,
an architect student and member
of the Creative Arts Group.
“Fisherman’s Wharf”, a casein,
was done by Emalita Terry, ad
visor and instructor of the MSC
Creative Arts Group.
Told You So
ST. LOUIS, (A*)—George White
wasn’t feeling well. So the 53-
year-old man had himself admitted
to a hospital for a checkup. Doctors
made tests and the next day re
leased him. A few minutes after his
release they were examining White
all oY r er again. For, after leaving
the hospital, he walked across the
street and was struck by a car.
Scholarships
Offered 1*11.1)
Aspirants
Persons now working to
ward the Doctor’s degree, pri
marily in the fields of biolog
ical and physical sciences, so
cial sciences or the humani
ties, and engaged in teaching may
apply for awards offered by the
Southern Fellowships Fund, ac
cording to Dr. W. H. Dclaplane,
Dean of the School of Arts and
Sciences.
Applications may be made until
Dec. 15 for awards ranging from
$1,500 to $2,500 plus tuition and
fees, the amount depending upon
the stage of one’s progress toward
the degree. Additional allowances
of $300 for one’s wife and $200 for
each of two children are made.
Awards are intended to help re
cipients complete their doctoral
degree requirements. Preference k,
given to those who plan to continue
teaching in a southern college or
university.
Any staff member who is in
terested may write directly to R.
M. Lester, Executive Director,
Southern Fellowships Fund, 119 N.
Columbia, P. O. Box 427, Chapel
Hill, N. C., for application and
reference blanks and detailed in
formation.
PALACE
Starts Today
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TfcB Huhtser
and NJataue Wood
The
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mm
CinemaScopE: WarnerColor
QUEEN
LAST DAY —“HIT THE ICE”
STARTING THURSDAY
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HCNRi JOflCS • EVELYN VAHOEN
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ALTHOUGH 1 AM
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I, FRANKLY, DON'T SEEM
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VOU, MR- BEAUTIFUL,
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