^3. P-i B The Battalion .... College Station (Brazos County), Texas PAGE 2 Wednesday, October 10, 1956 John Smith Heads Business Society John E. Smith has been elected president of the Business Society for the 1956-57 school year. Also elected was sponsor Her bert G. Kenagy, of the Business Administration Division, v i c e - president, Robert Glasgow; secre tary-treasurer, J. C. Niemeyer; program chairman, James Goode and representatives to the Arts and Science Council Glendall Rand and Dale Lake. On Campus with MaxQhvlmm (Author of "Barefoot Boy with Cheek,” etc.) MARKING ON THE CURVE... AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT Twonkey Crimscott was a professor. Choate Sigafoos was a sophomore. Twonkey Crimscott was keen, cold, brilliant. Choate Sigafoos was loose, vague, adenoidal. Twonkey Crimscott believed in diligence, discipline, and marking on the curve. Choate Sigafoos believed in elves, Jayne Mansfield, and thirteen hours sleep each night. Yet there came a time when Twonkey Crimscott — mentor, sage, and savant — was thoroughly out-thought, out-foxed, out-maneuvered, out-ployed, and out-witted by Choate Sigafoos, sophomore. It happened one day when Choate was at the library studying for one of Mr. Crimscott’s exams in sociology. Mr. Crimscott’s exams were murder — plain, flat murder. They consisted of one hundred questions, each question having four possible answers—A, B, C, and D. The trouble was that the four choices were so subtly shaded, so in tricately worded, that students more clever by far than Choate Sigafoos were often set to gibbering. So on this day Choate sat in the library poring over his sociology text, his tiny brow furrowed with concen tration, while all around him sat the other members of the sociology class, every one studying like crazy. “What a waste!” he thought. “All this youth, this verve, this bounce, chained to musty books in a musty library! We should be out singing and dancing and smooching and cutting didoes on the greensward!” Then, suddenly, an absolute gasser of an idea hit Choate. “Listen !” he shouted to his classmates. “Tomor row when we take the exam, let’s all — every one of us — check Choice ‘A’ on every question — every one of them.” “Huh?” said his classmates. “Mr. Crimscott marks on the curve. If we all check the same answers, then we all get the same score, and everybody in the class gets a ‘C’.” “Hmm,” said his classmates. “Let’s get out of here and have a ball!” said Choate. So they all ran out and lit Philip Morrises and had a ball, as, indeed, you will too when you light a Philip Morris, for if there ever was a cigarette to lift the spirit and gladden the heart, it is today’s new Philip Morris- firm and pure and fragrant and filled with true, natural, golden tobacco, lip end to tip end. ihouid be Oat 61MU6 MddtfClOS OOJ OtWOcMte? Well sir, the next morning the whole class did what Choate said and, sui’e enough, they all got “C’s,” and they picked Choate up and carried him on their shoulders and sang “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” and plied him with sweetmeats and Philip Morris and girls and put on buttons which said “I DOTE ON CHOATE.” But they were celebrating too soon. Because the next time shrewd old Mr. Crimscott gave them a test, he gave them only one question —to wit: write a 30,000 word essay on “Crime Does Not Pay.” “You and your ideas,” they said to Choate and tore off his epaulets and broke his sword and drummed him out of the school. Today, a broken man, he earns a meager living as a camshaft in Toledo. ©Max Shulman, 1956 At the top of the curve of. smoking pleasure, you'll find today's netc Philip Morris. So, confidently, say the makers of Philip Morris, who bring you this column each week. The Battalion The Editorial Policy of The Battalion Represents the Views of the Student Editors The Battalion, daily newspaper of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas and the City of College Station, i» published by students in the Office of Student Publications as a non-profit educational service. The Director of Student Publications Is Ross Strader. The governing body of all student publications of the A.&M. College ^ of Texas is the Student Publications Board. Faculty members are Dr. Carroll D, Daverty, Chairman; Prof. Donald D. Burchard, Prof. Tom Leland and Mr. Bennie Zihn. Student members are John W. Gossett. Murray Milner. Jr., and Leighlus E. Sheppard, Jr., Ex-officio members are Mr. Charles Roeber, and Ross Strader, Sec retary. The Battalion is published four times a week during the regular school year and once a week during the summer and vacation and examination periods. Days of publication are Tuesday through Friday for the regular school year and on Thursday during the summer terms and during examination and vacation periods. The Battalion is not published on the Wednesday immediately preceeding Easter or Thanksgiving. Sub scription rates are $3.50 per semester, $6.00 per school year, $6.50 per full year, or $1.00 per month. Advertising rates furnished on request. Represented nationally bj | National Advertisin* j Services. Inc., a t New i York City, Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Fran j cisco. Entered as second-class matter at Post Office at Collette Station, Texas, under the Act of Con- *rees of March 8, 1870. Member of: The Associated Press Texas Press Association The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for republi cation of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in the paper and local news of spontaneous origin published herein. Rights of republication of all other matter herein are also reserved. News contributions may be made by telephone (VI 6-6618 or VI- 6-4910) or at the editorial office room, on the ground floor of the YMCA. Classified ads may be placed by telephone (VI 6-6415) or a' the Student Publications Office, ground floor of the YMCA. JIM BOWER Z Editor Dave McReynolds Managing Editor Barry Iiart Sports Editor Welton Jon'es City Editor Leland Boyd, Jim Neighbors, Joe Tindel News Editors Bernice Schnerr Society Editor Don Bisett, J. B. McLeroy Staff Photographers ; Connie Eckard Reporter Kenneth George Circulation Manager Maurice Olian CHS Sports Correspondent DATELINE AYRSHIRE By Ken George Has the thought ever occured to you that Joe Delatte is a second- rate Aggie? Well, he is according to a high-ranking Air Force ROTC instructor. The reason is because he’s a nonreg and in this Officer’s eyes all non-regs are second rate Aggies. * * * An Aggie and his wife were fishing on the Brazos river last week. Both were using casting rods and both got a bite at the same time. The Mrs. shouted to her husband that something was on her line and what should she do. He told her to reel in the line. This she did with much work and worry and finally she had the fish pressed tightly against the end of the rod. She then looked very puzzled and said to her husband, “What do I do now?” Well by this time his fish had long since left for Navasota and he looked at her disgustedly and said “Shinny up the pole and strangle it !” * * * Corsicana will be remembered, in the minds of a few at least, for its defiant animals. Sunday even ing about 6:30 the weekend traffic was good and heavy. As the cars coming from Dallas came into Corsicana they had to stop and inch along for about three blocks. The trouble was a small black dog who had decided to establish legal residence in the middle of the southbound lane. At one time he ■had stopped 37 cars and three trailer trucks. * * * Monday afternoon in the MSC freshman room, Doug Mullins made the understatement of the year. It was the top of the ninth with two out and Mullins comes up with “This kid Larson is pitch’in a pretty good ball game!” llTTLE MAN ON CAMPUS by Dick Bibler 3 eTUPENT INFI^AI^Y 90 YOU £V£&HAVE ANYTHING ON YOUK MINP VBtW&e 6IRLS?/ MVI Program Lagging Warns Texas Officials Hlavinka Elected Czech Club Head The A&M Czech Club has, elected Victor Hlavinka, East Bernard, president. Dr. Jan Skrivanek of A&M For eign Language Department is fac ulty sponsor. The club will meet on the second and fourth Tuesdays of each month. Meeting time is 7:39 p. . m. in room 123, Academic Building. Dues are 50 cents a semester. Texas motorists are exercising the old American custom of putting off until tomorrow what ought to be done today, said Col. Homer Garrison, Director of Texas De partment of Public Safety. Some concern has been raised in the state capitol over the fact that the state’s motor vehicle inspec tion program is lagging far be hind schedule. The first month of the new in spection period ended Oct. 15 and only 4 per cent of the registered Center Nev/s Chess Committe will meet to night at 8:30 in the Social Room of the MSC. Anyone interested is invited to attend this initial meeting of the group. Officers will be elected and plans for the coming year will be discussed. vehicles in the state have been in spected. The inspection period will end April 15, 1957. “The inspection period embraces seven months,” Garrison said, “and that means a minimum of 14 per cent of the cars must be checked each month in order to avoid un necessary rushes on the inspection stations in the final weeks of the period.” WEDNESDAY “ON THE THRESHOLD OF SPACE” with GUY MADISON —Plus— “HOW TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE” with MARILYN MONROE COL. JOHN F. GUILLETT Field Representative United Services Life Insurance Co. 1625 Eye Street, N.W. Washington. D.C. 2518 Great Oaks Parkway Austin 5, Texas — Phone: GL. 3-6420 WEDNESDA Y “MAVERICK QUEEN” BAKBAKA STANWYCK CIRCLE WED. & THUR. “Rawhide Years” Tony Curtis — A L S O — “Silver Chalice” Viroinia Mayo W E D N E S D A Y 20th Century-Fox pre OFl CinemaScoPE: COLOR by DELUXE • Stereophonic Sound happy tune! TO MY MARTI M show With their International Singing’ Star IN PERSON SWEET—The Petticoats — Three Real Dolls SWING—Tex Benekee & His Orchestra ROCK & ROLL—The Jodimars—Bill Haley Alumni SATIRE IN DANCE—Conn & Mann—Action & Humor A HARMONICAT—Johnny O’Brien- Musical Will Rogers THURSDAY, OCT. 25- Tickets $2.50 — $2.00 (Not Town Hall) WHITE COLISEUM — 8:00 — $1.50—Student Activities MSC Arts Group Exhibits Work The Arts Division of the newly formed Creative Arts Group is presently showing Circuit No. 6 of the Texas Fine Arts Associa tion in the Promenade Cases and lobby of the Memorial Student Center. Lasting until Oct. 16, the show contains 24 paintings: 12 in oil, 10 in water color, casein, or water soluble media and two prints. Three entries are works done by local artists. A water color entitled “Deep South” was done by Franklin D. Lawyer, formerly on the staff of the Division of Architecture and iioyv employed with Jerin, Caudill, Rowlett, Scott and Associates. Casein entitled “The White Boat” was done by James B. Rabe, an architect student and member of the Creative Arts Group. “Fisherman’s Wharf”, a casein, was done by Emalita Terry, ad visor and instructor of the MSC Creative Arts Group. Told You So ST. LOUIS, (A*)—George White wasn’t feeling well. So the 53- year-old man had himself admitted to a hospital for a checkup. Doctors made tests and the next day re leased him. A few minutes after his release they were examining White all oY r er again. For, after leaving the hospital, he walked across the street and was struck by a car. Scholarships Offered 1*11.1) Aspirants Persons now working to ward the Doctor’s degree, pri marily in the fields of biolog ical and physical sciences, so cial sciences or the humani ties, and engaged in teaching may apply for awards offered by the Southern Fellowships Fund, ac cording to Dr. W. H. Dclaplane, Dean of the School of Arts and Sciences. Applications may be made until Dec. 15 for awards ranging from $1,500 to $2,500 plus tuition and fees, the amount depending upon the stage of one’s progress toward the degree. Additional allowances of $300 for one’s wife and $200 for each of two children are made. Awards are intended to help re cipients complete their doctoral degree requirements. Preference k, given to those who plan to continue teaching in a southern college or university. Any staff member who is in terested may write directly to R. M. Lester, Executive Director, Southern Fellowships Fund, 119 N. Columbia, P. O. Box 427, Chapel Hill, N. C., for application and reference blanks and detailed in formation. PALACE Starts Today thru Saturday WARfs/^fe'Bl^Cfe. PfttfttNT TfcB Huhtser and NJataue Wood The Burning Hills mm CinemaScopE: WarnerColor QUEEN LAST DAY —“HIT THE ICE” STARTING THURSDAY AJiidden shame ouYiri the open and the 1 ’most terrifying rock-bottom at woman : ever hit for love! ‘: DS'u’HB [!3Q(3 SCD©3EBi3 S V/ARNCR BROS, present the 2-year-run stage sensation with the prize-winning cast of the play f HCNRi JOflCS • EVELYN VAHOEN JERVYN UOYp LI’L ABNER By AI Capp ALTHOUGH 1 AM THE IDEAL OF EVERV UPSET AMERICAN GIRL — OH, VO' SHORE IS SWEET HEART OF TH‘ PIANO. I, FRANKLY, DON'T SEEM TO ATTRACT MANV MEN TO MV CONCERTS. MAVBE. VOU, MR- BEAUTIFUL, ARE THE ANSWER — I HAVE A GORGEOUS ^ U IDEA FOR A NEW ACT"- j > IT GOES LIKE THIS—y—^ J pf’sTfr- p sST, r _r — \i P O G O ’TT qASP.^-vo'is a ^ GE.NSUS TO OF THUNK THAT DPff- LE'S GO.7' If? I CAN'T ten YOU f*g 6zCZ2T W£ ? I A/MT