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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 7, 1956)
What "s Cooking The schedule for tonight - is as follows: 7 pan. Range & Forestry Club will meet in the Agricultural Engineering- Building-. Refreshments will be served and will be over in time for Town Hall. 7:30 p.m. A.I.Ch.E. will meet in room 104 of the Petroleum Engineering- Building. Pre-Med, Pre-Dent Society will meet in room 107 of the Biological | Sciences Building. On Campus Max Qhulmm (Author of ‘Barefoot Boy With Cheek" etc.) FAMOUS LAW CASES: NO. 1 —GRANSMIRE vs. MIDDLE ATLANTIC BUS AND DRAY CO. Grahsmire, the plaintiff in this celebrated case, lived with his daughter Ernest and a canary named Whirlaway on Elm Street in Cooch, Delaware. The Middle Atlantic Bus and Dray Co. started operating a bus line on Elm Street. The passing buses caused a cut-glass chandelier in the Gransmires’ living room to begirt tinkling. The chandelier tinkled in the key of E-flat. This so unnerved the canary, Whirlaway, whose key was C- sharp, that the poor bird moulted out of season, caught a chill, and died untimely. Ernest, Gransmire’s daughter, was herself so unsettled by the death of the canary that she flunked her final exams at the Boar’s Head Beauty and Barber College, where she had been a promising student, majoring in bangs. Now removed, willy- nilly, from the skilled labor market, Ernest found work carry ing a sandwich sign for the old Vienna Chow Mein parlor. Here she met a bus-boy named Crunch Sigafoos. Although Crunch was not especially attractive — he had, for one thing, a large bushy tail — he was always clean and neat and kept his ehoes shined, and after a decent interval, he and Ernest were married. Ernest soon learned that Crunch’s large bushy tail was not as anomalous as she had supposed: Crunch was a werewolf. After a while Ernest got sick of staying home at night while her husband went prowling about, so she asked him to change her into a werewolf too, which he did with an ancient Transyl vanian incantation. Then, together, the two of them would lope out each night and meet a lot of other werewolves and maybe kill a few chickens or hear some book reports or just lay around and shoot the breeze. Meanwhile, Ernest and Crunch’s landlady, a miser named Mrs. Augenblick, noticed that Ernest and Crunch never used their room at night, so she, in her greed, started renting it to transients. One night a Mr. Ffolliett stayed there. In the morn ing while brushing his hair, he took a bottle that looked like hair tonic out of the cabinet, poured some, and rubbed it vigorously into his scalp. Unfortunately, it was not hair tonic, but a bottle of glue which Ernest had bought to mend a model airplane that Crunch had given her for their paper wedding annivei'sary. As a result of Mr. Ffolliett’s grisly error, he was unable to remove his hat and was, therefore, barred from his usual occupation which was lecturing to women’s clubs. He sued Mrs. Augenblick, who sued Ernest, who went to her father, who sued the Middle Atlantic Bus and Dray Co. who had started the whole horrid chain of events. “Ladies and gentlemen,” said the defense attorney in his opening address, “this case, though very ramified, is covered by law. Indeed, every facet of life is covered by law. Law governs the homes you live in, the cars you drive, the food you eat. Even the cigarette you smoke is strictly regulated. The gentleness, however, is Philip Morris’s own idea. Out of their vast experience as tobacco people, out of their profound regard for the astuteness of your palate, the makers of Philip Morris have evolved a gentle, new cigarette, with a taste as mild as a May morn, as subtle as gossamer, as welcome as money from home. I thank you.” Whereupon everybody rushed to the tobacco counter to buy bright red, white and gold packs of Philip Morris and were all rendered so amiable after a few gentle puffs that the whole complicated case was dropped. This later became known as the Delaware Water Gap. ©Max shuiman, lao* We, the makers of Philip Morris, sponsors of this column, rest our case on our new, gentle cigarette in our new, smart pack. The Battalion The Editorial Policy of The Battalion Represents the Views of the Student Editors The Battalion, newspaper of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas and the City of College Station, is published by stu dents four times a week during the regular school year. During the summer terms The Battalion is published once a week, and during examination and vacation periods, once a week. Days of publication are Tuesday through Friday for the regular school year, Thursday during the summer terms, and Thursday during examination and va cation periods. The Battalion is not published on the Wednesday im mediately preceding Easter or Thanksgiving. Subscription rates are $3.50 per semester, $6.00 per school year, $6.50 per full year, or $1.00 per month. Advertising rates furnished on request. Entered as second-class matter at Post Office at College Station, Texas, under the Act of Con gress of March 3, 1870. Member of The Associated Press Represented nationally by N a t i o n a 1 Advertising: Services, Inc., at New York City, Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Fran cisco. The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for republi cation of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in the paper and local news of spontaneous origin published herein. Rights of republication of all other matter herein are also reserved. News contributions may be made by telephone (VI 6-6618 or VI 6-4910) or at the editorial office room, 202 Goodwin Hall. Classified ads may be placed by telephone (VI 6-6415) or at the Student Publica tion Office, Room 207 Goodwin Hall. BILL FULLERTON Ralph Cole Ronnie Greathouse — Don Shepard, Jim Bower, Dave McReynolds Welton Jones John West Barbara Paitre Barry Hart Jim Neighbors, Maurice Olian F. W. Young James Schubert, Mike Keen, Guy Fernandez Editor Managing Iilditor Sports Editor . News Editors City Editor Woman’s Editor Assistant Sports Editor Reporters CHS Sports Correspondent Circulation Manager Photographers Battalion Editorials Page 2 THE BATTALION TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 7, 1956 A Delightful Dilemma Tonight presents quite a problem to any one with an idea toward enjoying himself; too many things going on at one time. But it is not our purpose here to criticize because of the conflict between Town Hall and the Great Issues Series. Those things will happen. Town Hall has a fine program of good singing and playing by a top-notch orchestra and a talented aggregation in the Hilltoppers. It is, however, to the other event of the eve ning—to the appearance of a great American —that our thoughts will turn right now. We could add very little to the praise that has been heaped upon Norman Thomas; his actions and personal example betray the fu tility of mere words. And we will add noth ing at all to the abuse that has oftimes in the past, and probably in the present, come his way. Belief in what he believes in or not—and Norman Thomas’ beliefs are probably mis understood as much as anybody’s—is not the reason for admiration for the man be hind these beliefs. The legend, if this be the appropriate word, of Norman Thomas is no where so well exemplified as in his own life. Tine man himself is something to believe in. Few persons have so been able to retain their integrity as has this leader of the Dem ocratic Socialist Party; few persons, indeed, have been able to remain true to the personal deep beliefs that give life meaning. An open and fearless fighter, a dedicated defender of civil rights is Norman Thomas. An unsuccessful politician? Maybe so. But a very successful statesman—as shown by the adoption by our federal government of many of his former “too radical” beliefs— definitely. Very seldom has such an opportunity been given to the people of this community. All who aren’t dedicated music lovers, please don’t waste this chance. — BOF BAD MAN—John Forbes, Hollywood “badman” for 18 years, will appear on the Student Civilian Day Program March 10. Hugh Lanktree, A&M student, plays second lead in the movie “Hell on Horseback” in which Forbes is the leading man. ~rM£RE*<b TW’ YOO ' BOOT? I’NN OML.Y A A*4‘ I’VE GOT lAOE-E GRADE POcU-re> ) — TUANJ mvAfj- Cowboy Added To Program John Forbes, writer and director for United Artists, and Elaine Walker, Powers model turned act ress, will appear as guests for the Student Civilian Day program March 10. Forbes, with 18 years in'Holly wood playing bad man roles, stars in .“Hell on Horseback” as Johnny Ringo, a famous outlaw who later reforms. He has starred in “Son of the Renagader,” “The Lawless Rider” and as the featured player in the TV production of “Sergeant Pres ton on the Yukon.” Hugh Lanktree, A&M student and publicity director for the civil ian Day program plays in “Hell on Horseback” as second in command to a band of outlaws whom he helps lead and then turns and helps de stroy them. Elaine Walker, whom Lanktree says “looks just like Lauren Ba call” will put on an act with Forbes during the dance. Miss Walker is the leading lady in “Hell on Horse back.” Other acts for the program will include Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys, who will play for the dance following the barbecue, and Buster Satan and his Rhythm and Blues band who currently are fea tured at the Three by Twelve Club in Dallas. Manning Smith, well-known loc:il square dancer and president of the Square Dancing Association of Texas, will be master of ceremo nies. Further details for the Civilian Day program will be worked out at a meeting this afternoon at 4 in the Student Activities Office. Ray Carroll is general chairman for the affair. Center Gift Shop Sells Special Plates A&M Commemorative Wedg wood Plates can now be obtained at the Memorial Student Center Gift Shop for $4.95 each and $45 a dozen. The HD/i-inch dinner plates have the pictures of such campus build ings as the Academic, Chemistry and Civil Engineering Buildings and Guion, Sbisa and Gathright Halls among others. The gift shop bought P. L. (Pinky) Downs interest in the A&M Commemorative Plates As sociation which he founded in the middle 1930’s. Downs had been selling the plates by order only, until the gift shop bought his interest. The phites are made of Wedg wood china, which has a high stan dard of quality and is called the final word in artistic achievement. FRESHMAN . . . Tailor Made Green Slacks J Day Delivery Service Bring - us your personal clothes for — ALTERATIONS — Expert Alterations ZUBIK’S 9 Uniform Tailors 105 N. Main North Gate The Western. STEAKS — CHICKEN — SEA FOOD LUNCH SERVED 11:00 A.M. — 2:00 P.M. OPEN 24 HRS. HWY. 6 SOUTH READING TIME 45 SECONDS PORTABLE TYPEWRITERS OLYMPIA—Remington Office Writer — : Royal — Smith-Corona and Underwood • As long as you are in A & M, bring your portable in. We will blow the dust and lint out with compressed air, lubricate and install a new ribbon, jmd only charge you for the ribbon. ENGINEERING STUDENTS The Olympia Portable Typewriter has a standard keyboard, plus two extra keys (-)- over =), (■! over %) also HALF SPAC ING for writing EXPONENTS, SUBSCRIPTS, and FORMULAS. Furnished in OVz” and 13” carriage. We carry a complete line of special characters which is installed here , in our shop while you wait. Use our Rental Purchase Plan $6.00 per month, rent applies on purchase of machine, also late model standard TYPEWRITERS AND ADDING MACHINES FOR RENT. The OLYMPIA Standard Typewriter is catching - on fast. L. H. ADAMS Bryan Business Machine Co. SALES — SERVICE — RENTALS — TERMS 429 South Main Street — Bryan, Texas FREE PARKING AIR CONDITIONED LFL ABNER By A1 Capp TUESDAY “The Desperate Hours” with Humphrey Bogart — Plus — “Hun for Cover” with James Cagney TUBS. & WED. “Susan Slept Ileie” with Debbie Reynolds and Dick Powell T E C H N I C O L () K LI E ABNER By A1 Capp