WhaVs Cooking
Wednesday
7:30 — Aggieland staff, room
204 Goodwin, organizational meet
ing for all desiring to woi’k on the
’56 yearbook.
“T” association, in social room
of Memorial Student Center. Elec
tion of officers will be held.
Influenza Leads
Influenza led the list of treated
diseases in Brazos county for the
week ending M,ay 21, with 10
cases. Chicken pox and strept
throat were next with 7 cases each,
while 6 cases of diarrhea were
treated.
History Professor
Translates Report
Dr. J. M. Nance, history depart
ment, is translator and editor of
“Brigadier General Adrian Woll’s
Report of his Expedition into Tex
as in 1842,” published in the cur
rent issue of the Southwestern His
torical Quarterly.
This is Nance’s second appear
ance in the Quarterly. He was edi
tor of “Letterbook of Joseph Eve,
Charge d’Affaires of the United
States to the Republic of Texas”
which was published in three is
sues of the Quarterly in 1939.
OnCaimrae
with:
MaxShuJinan
(Author of "Barefoot Boy With Cheek," etc.)
}
LOVE IN REVERSE
They were at the campus swimming pool. She was standing on the
diving board —lithe, young, vibrant. He came swimming over. “Hey,”
he called, climbing up on the board, “was it you who made that dive
a minute ago?”
She nodded —lithe, young, vibrant.
“Whew!” he whistled. “That was some dive! A back jackknife two
and a half twist full gainer swan. Where did you learn to dive
like that?”
“I fell off the board,” she explained.
“Oh,” he said. He looked at her—lithe, young, vibrant. “Let’s go
steady,” he said.
“But I don’t know anything about you,” she said.
“What’s there to know?” he said. “I’m a typical American college
man—young, healthy, and broke.”
“That’s good enough for me,” she said, “for I am not interested in
money. I am a girl of simple tastes —lithe, young, vibrant.”
“Dad!” he whispered.
“Crazy!” she breathed.
Their lips met. Their arms twined. They fell off the board.
“If you only knew,” he said later, as he applied artificial respira
tion, “how long I have been looking for a lithe, young, vibrant girl of
simple tastes, for though my heart is large and full of love, my purse
is lean and meagre. My cruel father sends me an allowance barely
large enough to support life. So I have been looking high and low for
a girl of simple tastes.”
“Search no more,” she said. “My tastes are simple; my wants are
few. Just take me riding in a long, sleek, new yellow convertible,
and I am content.”
“Goodbye,” he said and ran away as fast as his chubby little legs
could carry him, for he knew this girl was not for the likes of him.
He had neither convertible nor hardtop, nor the money to buy one,
nor the means to get the money, short of picking up his stingy father
by the ankles and shaking him till his wallet fell out. No, there was
nothing for it except to forget this girl.
But lying on his pallet at the dormitory, he could not get her
out of his mind and finally he knew that whatever the expense, he
had to have her—lithe, young, vibrant.
So he sold a few things —his textbooks, his overcoat, his hi-Y pin,
his roommate’s truss —and soon he had accumulated a goodly sum. He
went to a place that sold automobiles. “How much does it cost,” he
said, “to buy a yellow convertible automobile?”
The man told him. He collapsed in a gibbering heap.
After a while he stirred and shambled home. But on the way he
passed a place with a big sign that said: RENT A CAR —DRIVE
YOURSELF. Hope came into our hero’s eyes. He went inside. “How
much does it cost,” he said, “to rent a yellow convertible automobile?”
“Ten dollars a day, plus seven cents a mile,” said the man.
“Done and done,” said our hero, and soon he drove away in a long,
sleek, new, yellow convertible.
“Oh, goody!” said the lithe, young, vibrant girl when she saw the
car. “This suits my simple tastes to a T. Come, let us speed over
rolling highways and through bosky dells.”
And away they went. They drove north, they drove south, they
drove fast, they drove slow, they drove east, they drove west, they
drove and drove and drove and, finally, tired but happy, they parked
high on a windswept hill.
“Philip Morris?” he said.
“Yum, yum!” she said.
They lit up. She snuggled against him. “You know,” he said, “you
are like a Philip Morris —mild and fresh and relaxing.”
“But there is a big difference between me and Philip Morris,”
said she. “They’re available in king-size and regular, and I am only
available in regular.”
They laughed. They kissed. He screamed.
“What is it, dear man?” cried she, alarmed.
“The speedometer,” he said. “I just noticed. We put on 200 miles
tonight, and this car costs seven cents a mile, and I have only $14
left.”
“But that’s exactly enough,” she said.
“Yes,” he said, “but we still have to drive home, and that will put
a lot more miles on the car. Where will I get the money to pay
for that?”
“Gee, I don’t know,” said she.
“Me neither,” he said glumly. He started the motor and backed
out of the parking place.
“Hey, look!” said the girl. “The speedometer doesn’t move when
you’re backing up.”
He looked. It was true. Mileage only registered when the car was
moving forward —not in reverse. “Eureka!” he said. “That’s it!”
“Do you mean—” said she.
“Exactly!” said he. “I will drive home in reverse. Then no more
miles will register and I’ll have enough money to pay!”
“I think that’s a George idea!” she cried, and she was right. Be
cause today our hero is in the county jail where food, clothes, and
lodging are provided free of charge, and his allowance is piling up
fast. By the time his sentence is ended, he should have enough to
take, his girl out riding again.
©Max Shulraan, 1954
This column is brought to you by the mahers of PHILIP MORRIS
who think you would enjoy their cigarette.
The Battalion
The Editorial Policy of The Battalion
Represents the Views of the Student Editors
The Battalion, newspaper of the Agricultural and Mechanical
College of Texas and the City of College Station, is published by stu
dents four times a week during the regular school year. During the
summer terms The Battalion is published once a week, and during
examination and vacation periods, once a week. Days of publication
are Tuesday through Friday for the regular school year, Thursday dur
ing the summer terms, and Thursday during examination and vacation
periods. The Battalion is not published on the Wednesday immediately
preceding Easter or Thanksgiving. Subscription rates are $3.50 per
semester, $6.00 per school year, $7.00 per full year, or $1,00 per month.
Advertising rates furnished on request.
Hntered aa second-cl&sa
matter at Post Office at
College Station, Texas
Under the Act of Con-
(rees of March 8, 1870.
Member of
The Associated Press
Represented nationally bj
National Advertising
Services, Inc., at New
York City, Chicago, Loo
Angeles, and San Fran
cisco.
The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for republi-
cation of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in
the paper and local news of spontaneous origin published herein. Rights
of republication of all other matter herein are also reserved.
News contributions may be made by telephone (4-5444 or 4-7604) or
at the editorial office room, 202 Goodwin Hall. Classified ads may be
placed by telephone (4-5324) or at the Student Publication Office,
Room 207 Goodwin Hall.
Battalion (Editorials
Page 2
WEDNESDAY, MAY 25, 1955
Hillel Foundation
Installs New Head
Marvin Noble was recently in
stalled as president of the B’nai
B’rith foundation.
Jay Weinstein will be next year’s
vice-president and Jay David
Albert, social seci’etary. Dan
Greenberg, Jack Solka and Fred
Ablon will serve as secretary,
treasurer and parliamentarian.
The foundation closed their ac
tivities for the year with an
awards’ banquet in the Memorial
Student Center’s Assembly room.
Gold keys for participation were
presented to Ed Wulfe, outgoing
president, Ernest Golub, Fred Ko-
nig, Ito Perl, and Norman Abram
son, faculty member.
The outstanding senior award
went to Wulfe, and Weinstein re
ceived a $200 scholarship.
Senioi's presented Mrs. Esther
Taubenhaus, sponsor, a portrait of
herself to be hung in the new Hil
lel building.
Tuition Troubles
The Texas House has approved what is going to be a
very unpopular measure with many people.
The bill doubling tuition fee at state colleges was given
final approval yesterday. This would mean, if it passed the
Senate, that students would have to pay $50 per semester
for tuition instead of the present $25.
Argument has been presented for both sides, with back
ers calling it “long overdue,” and opponents calling it “a tax
on education.”
A&M needs money. The school is facing the tightest
budget it has ever had to face. The appropriations bill now
being debated in the Free Conference committee does not al
low enough money for the school to operate as it should.
What has not been declared by the House is whether
funds derived from the increase in the tuition would be added
to the appropriations for A&M — or whether these funds
would be declared a part of the the appropriations.
If the increment to be added by the new fees is just
to be taken away by decreasing the allotment in the general
revenue appropriations for the school, no good has been at
tained at all.
But, if these funds were to be in addition to the general
revenue for A&M, the financial problem of the college could
be solved. M ^
By some measure or another, A&M has got to have mon
ey. If the tuition doubling is too hard on the students, some
other way will have to be worked out.
Now, although the college might be happy with its new
financial standing that could be attained, a question is im
mediately raised; “Should A&M students, and other state
college students, be made to raise the entire amount of money
needed ?”
The answer to this question is rather moot. The state
guarantees an education to all that want it; and the state
could find some way to bear some of the expense.
Surely, in “big ok Texas” with its vast resources, its
millionaires, its bragging, and its hodgepodge tax laws, some
way can be found to relieve the students of some of the bur
den.
The students will probably go along quietly on an in
crease. But, the idea of a 100 per cent increase might not
sit too well with them.
A&M needs money, it has to come from somewhere; but
that somewhere doesn’t have to be the students. There’s
enough in the state without hitting them too hard.
All.,you are auke!
VOORE HOT E>ATi-St=ie.D
WITM, OUST l_E.Aj2MIKfc4 A
COLR.-SG — YOU WAUT TO
PA-S'S, IT TOO?
CHS Elects Linton
Student Body Head
Edward Linton was elected presi
dent of the student body at a recent
A&M Consolidated high school
election.
Others elected were Anna Par
sons, editor of the annual; Marilyn
Davis, senior business manager of
the annual; Clair Rogers and Ann
Fleming, senior yell leaders; and
Ann Hite and Mary Beth Hagler,
junior yell leaders.
Players Elect Hea’d
Ted Castle, junior English ma
jor, has been elected president of
the Aggie Players for next year.
Other officers elected are Connie
Eckard, vice-president; Anna Has-
lam, secretary; and Bill Campbell,
business manager.
‘AGGIES”
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Aggie-Ex Named
Outstanding Vet
Dr. Dan James Anderson of Fort
Worth has been selected as the
“outstanding practitioner of Texas
for the year of 1954” through a
statewide poll of veterinarians con
ducted by the Southwestern Vet
erinarian, School of Veterinary
Medicine journal.
Anderson completed his elemen
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Rockwall and was graduated from
A&M in 1938 with a doctor’s de
gree in veterinary medicine. 11^'
is a partner in the Haltom City
animal hospital of Fort Worth.
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Rudisel Elected
Jerry Rudisel was elected presi
dent of the Red River Valley Home
town club for next year; David
Russell was elected vice-president.
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LI’L ABNER
A VOTER FROM
DOGWATCH TO
SEE YOU,
SENATOR
PHOG BOUND.?'
AHe^-thE
PRIME.
MINISTER
OF GRE^VT
BRITAIN,
ON THE
PHONED
HE’LL HAVE TO
WAlT. r . r — ANY
DOGPATCHER^
IS MORE.
IMPORTANT TO
werr
WHAT P HE’LL HAVE TO ^
WILLI ^ GO IT ALONE. r . r -
TELLTHE
SECRETARY
OF STATE?
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SENNY-TOR
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1^55
Dear- Reader:
As anu Poo/ can p/a/nfy
see —them's abso/ute/y no
resemblance be/cueen Phcx)-
bound and any r&Q/ senator:
By Walt Kelly
¥***«■* ■'-* -fftlWu*-****!*,
, YOU LIVE UP TO
THATAN'MESeg *
VOU'G JEE' THETypg
man we eeeN NiegpiN'
ALU ALONG-