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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (May 25, 1955)
WhaVs Cooking Wednesday 7:30 — Aggieland staff, room 204 Goodwin, organizational meet ing for all desiring to woi’k on the ’56 yearbook. “T” association, in social room of Memorial Student Center. Elec tion of officers will be held. Influenza Leads Influenza led the list of treated diseases in Brazos county for the week ending M,ay 21, with 10 cases. Chicken pox and strept throat were next with 7 cases each, while 6 cases of diarrhea were treated. History Professor Translates Report Dr. J. M. Nance, history depart ment, is translator and editor of “Brigadier General Adrian Woll’s Report of his Expedition into Tex as in 1842,” published in the cur rent issue of the Southwestern His torical Quarterly. This is Nance’s second appear ance in the Quarterly. He was edi tor of “Letterbook of Joseph Eve, Charge d’Affaires of the United States to the Republic of Texas” which was published in three is sues of the Quarterly in 1939. OnCaimrae with: MaxShuJinan (Author of "Barefoot Boy With Cheek," etc.) } LOVE IN REVERSE They were at the campus swimming pool. She was standing on the diving board —lithe, young, vibrant. He came swimming over. “Hey,” he called, climbing up on the board, “was it you who made that dive a minute ago?” She nodded —lithe, young, vibrant. “Whew!” he whistled. “That was some dive! A back jackknife two and a half twist full gainer swan. Where did you learn to dive like that?” “I fell off the board,” she explained. “Oh,” he said. He looked at her—lithe, young, vibrant. “Let’s go steady,” he said. “But I don’t know anything about you,” she said. “What’s there to know?” he said. “I’m a typical American college man—young, healthy, and broke.” “That’s good enough for me,” she said, “for I am not interested in money. I am a girl of simple tastes —lithe, young, vibrant.” “Dad!” he whispered. “Crazy!” she breathed. Their lips met. Their arms twined. They fell off the board. “If you only knew,” he said later, as he applied artificial respira tion, “how long I have been looking for a lithe, young, vibrant girl of simple tastes, for though my heart is large and full of love, my purse is lean and meagre. My cruel father sends me an allowance barely large enough to support life. So I have been looking high and low for a girl of simple tastes.” “Search no more,” she said. “My tastes are simple; my wants are few. Just take me riding in a long, sleek, new yellow convertible, and I am content.” “Goodbye,” he said and ran away as fast as his chubby little legs could carry him, for he knew this girl was not for the likes of him. He had neither convertible nor hardtop, nor the money to buy one, nor the means to get the money, short of picking up his stingy father by the ankles and shaking him till his wallet fell out. No, there was nothing for it except to forget this girl. But lying on his pallet at the dormitory, he could not get her out of his mind and finally he knew that whatever the expense, he had to have her—lithe, young, vibrant. So he sold a few things —his textbooks, his overcoat, his hi-Y pin, his roommate’s truss —and soon he had accumulated a goodly sum. He went to a place that sold automobiles. “How much does it cost,” he said, “to buy a yellow convertible automobile?” The man told him. He collapsed in a gibbering heap. After a while he stirred and shambled home. But on the way he passed a place with a big sign that said: RENT A CAR —DRIVE YOURSELF. Hope came into our hero’s eyes. He went inside. “How much does it cost,” he said, “to rent a yellow convertible automobile?” “Ten dollars a day, plus seven cents a mile,” said the man. “Done and done,” said our hero, and soon he drove away in a long, sleek, new, yellow convertible. “Oh, goody!” said the lithe, young, vibrant girl when she saw the car. “This suits my simple tastes to a T. Come, let us speed over rolling highways and through bosky dells.” And away they went. They drove north, they drove south, they drove fast, they drove slow, they drove east, they drove west, they drove and drove and drove and, finally, tired but happy, they parked high on a windswept hill. “Philip Morris?” he said. “Yum, yum!” she said. They lit up. She snuggled against him. “You know,” he said, “you are like a Philip Morris —mild and fresh and relaxing.” “But there is a big difference between me and Philip Morris,” said she. “They’re available in king-size and regular, and I am only available in regular.” They laughed. They kissed. He screamed. “What is it, dear man?” cried she, alarmed. “The speedometer,” he said. “I just noticed. We put on 200 miles tonight, and this car costs seven cents a mile, and I have only $14 left.” “But that’s exactly enough,” she said. “Yes,” he said, “but we still have to drive home, and that will put a lot more miles on the car. Where will I get the money to pay for that?” “Gee, I don’t know,” said she. “Me neither,” he said glumly. He started the motor and backed out of the parking place. “Hey, look!” said the girl. “The speedometer doesn’t move when you’re backing up.” He looked. It was true. Mileage only registered when the car was moving forward —not in reverse. “Eureka!” he said. “That’s it!” “Do you mean—” said she. “Exactly!” said he. “I will drive home in reverse. Then no more miles will register and I’ll have enough money to pay!” “I think that’s a George idea!” she cried, and she was right. Be cause today our hero is in the county jail where food, clothes, and lodging are provided free of charge, and his allowance is piling up fast. By the time his sentence is ended, he should have enough to take, his girl out riding again. ©Max Shulraan, 1954 This column is brought to you by the mahers of PHILIP MORRIS who think you would enjoy their cigarette. The Battalion The Editorial Policy of The Battalion Represents the Views of the Student Editors The Battalion, newspaper of the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas and the City of College Station, is published by stu dents four times a week during the regular school year. During the summer terms The Battalion is published once a week, and during examination and vacation periods, once a week. Days of publication are Tuesday through Friday for the regular school year, Thursday dur ing the summer terms, and Thursday during examination and vacation periods. The Battalion is not published on the Wednesday immediately preceding Easter or Thanksgiving. Subscription rates are $3.50 per semester, $6.00 per school year, $7.00 per full year, or $1,00 per month. Advertising rates furnished on request. Hntered aa second-cl&sa matter at Post Office at College Station, Texas Under the Act of Con- (rees of March 8, 1870. Member of The Associated Press Represented nationally bj National Advertising Services, Inc., at New York City, Chicago, Loo Angeles, and San Fran cisco. The Associated Press is entitled exclusively to the use for republi- cation of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in the paper and local news of spontaneous origin published herein. Rights of republication of all other matter herein are also reserved. News contributions may be made by telephone (4-5444 or 4-7604) or at the editorial office room, 202 Goodwin Hall. Classified ads may be placed by telephone (4-5324) or at the Student Publication Office, Room 207 Goodwin Hall. Battalion (Editorials Page 2 WEDNESDAY, MAY 25, 1955 Hillel Foundation Installs New Head Marvin Noble was recently in stalled as president of the B’nai B’rith foundation. Jay Weinstein will be next year’s vice-president and Jay David Albert, social seci’etary. Dan Greenberg, Jack Solka and Fred Ablon will serve as secretary, treasurer and parliamentarian. The foundation closed their ac tivities for the year with an awards’ banquet in the Memorial Student Center’s Assembly room. Gold keys for participation were presented to Ed Wulfe, outgoing president, Ernest Golub, Fred Ko- nig, Ito Perl, and Norman Abram son, faculty member. The outstanding senior award went to Wulfe, and Weinstein re ceived a $200 scholarship. Senioi's presented Mrs. Esther Taubenhaus, sponsor, a portrait of herself to be hung in the new Hil lel building. Tuition Troubles The Texas House has approved what is going to be a very unpopular measure with many people. The bill doubling tuition fee at state colleges was given final approval yesterday. This would mean, if it passed the Senate, that students would have to pay $50 per semester for tuition instead of the present $25. Argument has been presented for both sides, with back ers calling it “long overdue,” and opponents calling it “a tax on education.” A&M needs money. The school is facing the tightest budget it has ever had to face. The appropriations bill now being debated in the Free Conference committee does not al low enough money for the school to operate as it should. What has not been declared by the House is whether funds derived from the increase in the tuition would be added to the appropriations for A&M — or whether these funds would be declared a part of the the appropriations. If the increment to be added by the new fees is just to be taken away by decreasing the allotment in the general revenue appropriations for the school, no good has been at tained at all. But, if these funds were to be in addition to the general revenue for A&M, the financial problem of the college could be solved. M ^ By some measure or another, A&M has got to have mon ey. If the tuition doubling is too hard on the students, some other way will have to be worked out. Now, although the college might be happy with its new financial standing that could be attained, a question is im mediately raised; “Should A&M students, and other state college students, be made to raise the entire amount of money needed ?” The answer to this question is rather moot. The state guarantees an education to all that want it; and the state could find some way to bear some of the expense. Surely, in “big ok Texas” with its vast resources, its millionaires, its bragging, and its hodgepodge tax laws, some way can be found to relieve the students of some of the bur den. The students will probably go along quietly on an in crease. But, the idea of a 100 per cent increase might not sit too well with them. A&M needs money, it has to come from somewhere; but that somewhere doesn’t have to be the students. There’s enough in the state without hitting them too hard. All.,you are auke! VOORE HOT E>ATi-St=ie.D WITM, OUST l_E.Aj2MIKfc4 A COLR.-SG — YOU WAUT TO PA-S'S, IT TOO? CHS Elects Linton Student Body Head Edward Linton was elected presi dent of the student body at a recent A&M Consolidated high school election. Others elected were Anna Par sons, editor of the annual; Marilyn Davis, senior business manager of the annual; Clair Rogers and Ann Fleming, senior yell leaders; and Ann Hite and Mary Beth Hagler, junior yell leaders. Players Elect Hea’d Ted Castle, junior English ma jor, has been elected president of the Aggie Players for next year. Other officers elected are Connie Eckard, vice-president; Anna Has- lam, secretary; and Bill Campbell, business manager. ‘AGGIES” Need Sportswear? “FLEETLINE” Sports shirts are a new lint with Lou. The price is right for you. Only $2.98 LOUPOT’S Trading Post North Gate CIRCLE LAST TIME WEDNESDAY Cinemascope The Story of ATTU.A THE HUN! BASEBALL PLAYERS We have a complete line of . . 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Glenn FORD Anne FRANCIS Louis CALHERN In the wonder of High fidelity STEREOPHONIC SOUND Tl fan NOW SHOWING J “The Other Woman” STARTING FRIDAY “ Pagan Beauty In the City of Love! M-G-M SPECTACLE in H OnemaScopEJ | and COLOR l THE PRODIGAL STarring LANA TURNER * EDMUND PURDOM LOUIS CALHERN Rudisel Elected Jerry Rudisel was elected presi dent of the Red River Valley Home town club for next year; David Russell was elected vice-president. AS ALWAYS Something NEW at Lou’s Crepe Soled SHOES $3.98 If you can wear them out this summer, LOU will GIVE you a new part this fall. LOUPOT’S Trading Post Trading Post More For Your Books at Shaffer’s NORTH GATE LI’L ABNER A VOTER FROM DOGWATCH TO SEE YOU, SENATOR PHOG BOUND.?' AHe^-thE PRIME. MINISTER OF GRE^VT BRITAIN, ON THE PHONED HE’LL HAVE TO WAlT. r . r — ANY DOGPATCHER^ IS MORE. IMPORTANT TO werr WHAT P HE’LL HAVE TO ^ WILLI ^ GO IT ALONE. r . r - TELLTHE SECRETARY OF STATE? 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