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♦' ,1
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A little bee was sitting on some
clover when a hungry cow cf^ne
along. The cow nibbled the clev
er and the bee found himself in
the cow’s belly with no way; to
escape. It was so warm in there
that the bee went to sleep. When
he woke up jthe cow was gone.
Did you. hear abdut the girl:
who went to a fancy ball in a*
suit of armor?
No, what happened?
Nothing. \ I]
n
The wife was always antagon
ized, „by her husband, going i out .
at night. His departing- words,’
which especially angered iher.
were always. “Goodnight, Moth
er of three,”
One night, when •[ she cpuld -
stand ^ no longer, and when he*^
had put on his hat* started'out
the door, and called. “Goodnight,
Mother of three,” she answered,
.quite as cheerfully, “Goodnight, '
Father of one!”
Now he stays home. :
1 A ★
v Mi •
Husband—“What kind of a
day did you have? v<
Wife—Rotten. The- ice man
didn’t come. There were no can
vassers, and now you come home
dead tired. s. f r
“See that 'fellow oyer there?”
_ “Yes.” What about him?”
“He’s ah awful fellow ;1 a low-
down cad. Let’s ostracize him.”
r “Okay, you hold him, and I’ll
do it.” r : • i
★
A man met g friend ;on the
street all bandaged up and walk
ing on crushes.
“What happened,” he asked.
-“Well, I had a date with* the
girl friend. While we were danc
ing, her old man came in, apd
because he’s deaf, he couldn’t
hear the music.’T < : \
A lad looking through the tele- 1
scope oh{top of the Physics build
ing thef other night muttered,
“Gawd!
Pretty go«*d /telescope.
10
X-
DEFINITIONS
> i} r
Honesty: Fear of being caught.
Good Sport: One who will al
ways let you have your own wav.
: Moron: Aggie, on Monday,
Saturday, and Sunday mornings.
Pessimi3t: One who sees things
as they
Coach
lay dowp
school, jj
Consciehce: The voice that
tells you not to do something
after you have already done it.
Bad Girl: One who carries love
to its logical conclusion.
How who 4ill gladly
your life for your
n
“Dl’DE ^ranch! Good night! I
thought you said NUDE ranch!”
★
He—I suppose you dance?
She—Oh. yes: I love to.
He—Qreat! That’s better than
dancing.
Aggie! on telephone: "Is this
the laundry 9 Well, you sent me
a half dozen very old handker
chiefs instead of my shirt.”
Voice from laundry: “Them
ain’t handkerchiefs, that’s your
shirt.”
Sonny had the habit of tear
ing his pants whenever he was
playing. His mother in exaspera
tion finally said, “The next time
you tear your pants I’m going
to make you fix them your
self.” I 1 ‘
Sure enough, Sonny came in
from play with his pants tom.
His mother $ent him upstairs to
fix them. After about an hour
had passed and Sonny had not
appeared. h|s mother went up
stairs to investigate. The pants
were lying id a chair, but Sonrty
was nowherf in sight. However,
his mother peard a noise in the
basement and went to the stairs
and called <jown, “Are you run
ning around down there without
your pants on?”
“No, ma’a^n,” a bass voice re
plied, “I’m leading the gas me
ter.” - !
Thirty days hath September,
June, July, k and my uncle for
speeding.
Sarge: “qfown.”
Voice: “Here”
Sarge: “f don’t see Brown.,
Who answered for him?”
Voice: “I did, I thought you
called my name.”
Sarge: “^hat is your name?”
Voice: “Sievenopotski.”
He who laughs last has found
a dirty meaning.
Abie: “Do you play gold vit
knickers?” '
Isaac: “Nib, vit vite people.”
Mountaineer—/‘Doc, I’d like
fer yer to look at muh son-in-
.law." , j
Doctor-+“$hame on you, shoot
ing at your son-in-law.'’
Mountaineer—“Waal, now, he
wernt muh son-in-law when I
shot him.” I
Then thefe was the missionary
who put a collar and tie on a
Kentucky mountaineer and the
mountaineer stood in the same
spot for four hours thinking he
was tied there.
I
THE BATTALION
t