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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (March 22, 1939)
I - [4 b u 1 A TALK OF WHOA! “Hello.” ~ I X _ “HeHo.” “I’m Bob—1 guess Don told you.' “Yes.** . -“Like to walk?** “Where?**" “Oh, anyplace.” “All right," ‘ i. W ' * ' v « Li "Sit?" “link Oh.” , “Moon." “Pretty.^ “Night" “Dork.** \ “Cold?** S “No.** ;v “No??"i \ ‘ • “No!" •Romance.” “Hmmmm.’* “Love." “Huh!" \ N “Hands oold?" “No!!" “Late!" V ' j “Yes!" I ^ “Fine time.’* “HI bet" — Good night" ., “Good night" — Slam!! “Wait’ll 1 get hold of Don. \ r Scene: The backwoods of TeaaeS' see. vTwo backwoodsmen knock on door of cabin. 1st Illiterate: “Howdy. Joe, me and Ed just found the body of a dead man over there in the holler and we thought ^naybe it wae you." 2nd. Tennesseean: “What’d he look like?" 1st: “He was about your MflU* and—" 2nd.. “Did he have on a flannel shirt?" • 1st: “Yup."i . 2nd.: “With red and white check#?" ^ ; 1st: “No, It was plain grey." 2nd., closing the door: ?“Nope," it wasn’t me." • The pompous judge glared sternly over his spectacles at the Uttered pi isoner who had been dragged before the bar of justice on a cha r ge of vag rancy. “Have you ever earned a dollar in your life?" he asked in scorn. “Yea, your honor," was the nss- ponse. “I voted for you at the last election.** . ' t 8 - v ; ■) "Shmiltl I, or ahould I •otT”—that was the question. If I decided I should not, I Would retain the right to con tinue irj the security I enjoyed; if I > decided I should, I would aspire to the heighU of illegitimate pleasure. On the one hand, I would retain my so cial status; on the other, I would re - linquish it for a few moments of ectasy. Was it worth it? Ii thought of my Mokher who kadj ■wrtmed me, had sat by me in sickhes* and com forted ipe in ipy sorro^. 1 thought of my Father who could not conceal the twinkle in his eye at my slightest achievement. If 1 should slip, would it be mpre than they could hear? I fl My better judgment told me there was only one course. If I chose the path ofj virtue, I' could retain my birthright; I cokld continue to be the *on of my parent*. If I chose th« other course, my abort lived enjoy ment would be followed by eternal misery, j There would b# no escaping the en<|. Perhaps even now I had committed the sin in thinking of it. CowlA' lf even look my fellow men in the eye, after my mind had been diseased with such dastardly urges? Perhap# I had already fallen *nd might well gam the pleasure of actually* consummating the deed. And then, again, perhaps I would only be the Stronger because 1 had met and conquered the problem. There was no question; I would do right. This Upp* better judgment decreed hut all the while my cruel lusts cried out for manifestatiegy. They became and then, when stronger and they almost had me in their power, my better judgment exerted itself And so the conflict continued until my soul cried out in anguish r y Always'the question .1. ♦ ^.*d mo. “Should 1 or shdulgk not put a mowse in Grnr^dmt’s bed?” - ; / \/ j \ - Blue Bucket Never worry about the walls having ears, because the walls are plastered and wouldn’t hear straight anyway. —Exchange r 1st She—‘‘First it eras love. He fas cinated me—and I kissed him." 2nd She—“Yeh, I know, and then he began to unfascinate you—and you slapped him.” “What did your wife say when you came in drunk last night?" “Nothing. And I eras going to have those front teeth pulled anyhow." —Exchange t •If The drunk tottered along the curb. Several times he slipped ott into the gutter. Each time he clambered on the sidewalk again. “Long stairway," he muttered. “Do you turn left here?" “Right," “Right?" “Right." “Right" “You turned right*’ “You said right." “I said left” “I said right when you said right" “No, I said right when you said left" “Yes, but I said right when youj said right when I said left" “I know, but I said right when you said right—Oh, hell, move over and let me drive." —Columns 1 \ Beards ”1 had a beard like yours once, but when I realised how it made me look I cut it off." “I had a face like yottr’n once. And when I realised that I couldn’t cut It °ff I grew this beard to cover it" —Punch Bowl “That actor is as clumsy as a cow." "Tmh; he ought to be in a stock a# company. THE BATTALION