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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (March 14, 1934)
8 THK BATTALION ¥HE EATTALICN STAI E Wade M.< Watson. F'(iit«*r Charles Tosch Jack Sloan Harry S*t»litfson Fml Martin Dave Tiaftiger Gardner Dost Jack Shtjpherd Tom Broiwrn M. F. Fincke W. I*. Manjrum Kditor-in-Chief Manavrmvr Kditor Associate Kditors Junior Kditors Tarroll Roberts Frank Brendle K<1 Mears Bill Percy A L. Hill . . Clarence Hussey Willie Fitzyvrald Tom Metz Sid Gret‘r Duncan Kmery Charles Van <le Butte \ Sp<»rt» Fklitor Advertising Manager Assistant Advertising Managers . Circulation Manager Assistant Circulation Managers Art Contributor II I C/CE \AIIAH\N C I IViEE'ICAl THK CAR SALESMAN CHIMERICAL *‘()h. yes. madam, all i»f these trimmings are just gilt. See, by I only rubbing your hand over ibis door knob, you can knock off the finish . . . The upholstering is very pooit. No, it isn’t mohair, but a composition made from sixth hand overcoats and old newspapers. You hadn’t better sit down or some* of the printer's ink will come off right on your skirt . . . Now here’s a special feature Td like to call your attention to. These fenders aren’t worth a darn, they’re so weak. You’ll * notice you can bend the edges by merely taking them between the thumb and forefinger. Set* how easy it is? . . . Another thing I’d like to show you is the poor quality of glass in the windows. See how streaked they are, and this pane in the front door won’t go up. but you wouldn’t want it anyway except in the cool even ing, and'you can’t drive then l>ecause the lights don’t work. . . . (>oes it ride easy? Madam. I’m glad, you asked that question,-because 1 was trying to avoid it. In order to tnake easier riding and better sales talks. we’ve increased the whcebliase by fifty-two inches. The*only trouble is that now the wheel-base is so long that the car sags in the middle, so you may get a few stones through the floor l>oard or become stranded on top of a culvert . . . Yes. the engine’s the !»est made. We took it out of a second-hand washing machine, and it’s absolutely unlike anything that’s l»eing used on any ofcher car today. It squirts the gasoline right up into the front seat, instead of the carburetor, but it’s abso lutely safe, as the cigar lighter doesn’t work . . . Yes, madam, the lines are very good. All of our cars are modeled after those in the higher priced class. The lines on this number came from the 1918 Winton . . . The payments aren’t very easy, and we don’t make any ^s|»ecial offers. The first chance we get we’ll take the car back again . . . Well, madam, if you really want me to give you my honest opinion. I’d go down t n street here to the hardware store ami get myself a H uir roller skates Yale Record “Give me a match. BilV” “Here it is.” “Well, can you l>eat that*£ I’ve forgotten my cigarettes.” I . \ “$’ too Bad; give me back mv match.” •• i ]. - \ • • • The minister met Tom, the villiage nFer-do-well. and shook him. heartily by the hand. 'T’m so glad you’ve turned over a new leaf, Thomas,*’ said the good- man. “I was so pleased to see you at the pray'er- meeting last night.’’ “Oh,” said Tom, “so that’s where I was, is it?” —Royal Arcanum Bulletin Pete; “I entered a marathon cornet contest once and played ’Annie Laurie* for three weeks.” Joe: “Did you win?” Pete; “No; my opjionent played The Stars and Stripes Forever.” — Dodo ... • Belhop (making Lady and Gentleman comfort able!— Anything else, Mr. Smith? Guest—No, thanks. Belh<»p~ Anything for your wife? Guest (absentmindedly)—Why, yes, bring me a |M»stal card. —Log