8
THE BATTALION
SHOW TALK
By Fred L. Porter
Thursday, Friday and Saturday—
Palace, “LightninV’
Friday night—Assembly Hall, “The
Unholy Three.”
Saturday afternoon—Assembly Hall,
“Happy Days.’”
Saturday night—Assembly Hall,
“See America Thirst.” Preview, Pal
ace, “Let’s Go Native.”
Sunday, Monday and Tuesday— Pal
ace, “Amos ’n Andy.”
Wednesday—Palace, “Let’s Go Na
tive.”
* * * *
“Lightnin’,” featuring Will Rogers,
America’s supreme humorist, opens at
the Palace Thursday for a three day
run.
All the whimsical charm that Frank
Bacon gave the stage show has been
preserved and added to by Will Rog
ers. He makes you laugh and weep
^t the story of the ne’er-do-well,
Lightnin’ Bill, the lazy, lovable land
lord of a divorce hotel in the far
west.
* * * *
The use of five separate voices in
the most ambitious first talkie ever
attempted by a star marks “The Un
holy Three,” Lon Chaney’s initial dia
logue production which will be shown
at the Assembly Hall Friday night.
The story is one of a side-show ven
triloquist, giant and midget joined in
a strange crime plot. Chaney as the
ventriloquist hides from the police
in the disguise of an old woman op
erating a pet store and sells worth
less parrots that he makes talk
through his own trickery.
Lila Lee is the heroine of the story,
Harry Eayles the midget, Ivan Linow
the giant and Elliot Nugent the ju
venile male lead.
* * * *
Baby-Faced Harry Langdon and
Sad-Faced Slim Summerville put on
Itheir best burlesque manner and make
fun of the Chicago racketeers and their
gang wars in ‘‘See America Thirst,”
poming to the Assembly Hall Sat
urday night.
The picture is without an ounce of
reason, but it is funny. New gags—
wise-cracks—all a bit crazy, but quite
hilarious. Bessie Love, Mitchell Lewis,
Stanley Fields, make up an excellent
supporting cast.
* * * *
The Palace preview Saturday night
offers “Let’s Go Native,” a Para
mount talkie-singie. Jack Oakie, Kay
Francis, Jeanette MacDonald, Skeets
Gallagher and James Hall. What a
cast! South Sea setting. Laughs galore
although it’s all silly.
Love Letters—
(Continued from page 7)
college rules but Jake laughed at him
so he finally said he’d like to join.
We told him we’d see about it and then
later on we told hem it was all o. k.
and that we’d initiate him soon.
Last night we initiated him. We
,took him out about four miles in the
country. Way out in the sticks. When
we got him out there we told him to
take off his shoes so he wouldn’t make
any noise at all. Me and Jake fum
bled with our shoes like we was takin’
’em off and so let him get his off
first. I was sittin’ on one side of him
and Jake on the other. Jake hollered
something about “Look out, there
comes a bull! I grabbed one of this
fellows shoes and Jake got the other.
We lit out. Me and Jake met down
at a little creek and come on back to
college. Only Jake fell in the creek
tryin’ to cross a log bridge.
About four o’clock the next morn-
in’ this Junior comes limpin’ in. Gosh
his feet were a sight. They was so
full of thorns and bruises it was pit
iful. All the company laughed at him
the next morning. I think he would
have jumped on me and Jake but
he couldn’t on account of his feet. He
don’t cuss so there wasn’t anything he
could say. I think he whispered Damn
though.
That scheme kinda backfired on us
too. This Junior’s feet swelled up on
him so he don’t have to drill until
they go down enough to get a shoe
on his foot. I think I’ll go out and
walk in some briars too ’cause I sure
hate to drill in cold weather.
I hope this kid don’t stay mad after
his feet get well, you hope so too for
my sake cause,
I love you
ALBERT
* * *
Friday Morn
Gee Honey,
Ain’t it gettin’ cold. Gosh but I’m
freezin.’ I believe we could freeze
ice water in this room. You know me
and Jake room together and the other
day we was sittin’ here shiverin’ when
some man, I think he’s got something
to do with the heat someway or other.
I' know he’s got the heat. Any way he
came in the hall and looked around
the rooms. Me and Jake told him we
was freezin.’ He said that wasn’t pos
sible ’cause we had eighty degrees of
temperature here. Thirty in our room
and thirty in the next room and twen
ty outside! That was his idea of a
joke. I laughed alright but I didn’t
think it was funny. Maybe when I
warm up I will.
There isn’t much to tell you in this
letter. Me and Jake have been kinda
,,quiet lately. The Captain of the com
pany is kinda down on us now and we
have to be careful. You see, the other
afternoon we was drillin’ and it was
cold' as the dickens. Gosh but it was
we was havin’ a rest period we got
cold. Jake got a hot idea and put
four or five freshmen in a row and
made ’em show us their tongues. We
looked their tongues over and decid
ed they had eatitis. Jake told them
he could tell quick whether they did
n’t or not. He says, “Now you fresh
men, when I count three, you stick
your tongue to your rifle barrel.
Now hold your rifle right up in front
of your face. Now, one, two, three!”
Three of those freshmen stuck their
tongues to their rifle barrels and two
6f ’em couldn’t get ’em away. That
-goes to show you how dumb fresh
men are. Those two that got stuck
tore off a piece of their tongues and
had to go to the hospital right during
drill. One of the dirty little tell-tales
went up to the Captain spittin’ blood
and asked if he could go to the hos
pital and of course the captain
came right over and jumped on us. I
sure am going to paddle that fresh
man. I got to quit now ’cause lights
have to be out a eleven and if me
and Jake keep ours on a minute after
taps now the captain’ll jump all over
us.
See you soon,
ALBERT
Sunday Afternoon
Say Honey,
Me and Jake are heroes. Yes sir,
real heroes. One of the Proffs here
has a couple of good lookin’ daugh
ters an’ me and Jake was out walkin’
around the campus the other day and
passed their house. One of the daugh
ters was out in the yard tryin’ to get
her cat to come down out of a tree.
Jake was all for helpin’ her and
I trailed along. Jake climbed up the
tree and got the fool kitty all right
and gee how many scratches! In the
rassle with the cat Jake fell and
broke his arm. Now he’s in the hos
pital all because of being big hearted.
I always told him he was too big
hearted. Maybe he’ll get a croix de
cat, or something or other. But he’s
already got a awful lot of scratches
and more bruises than he kin count.
You remember the time I went up
in that tile drain to get your cat and
got stuck there and had to be dug
out. But I didn’t get hurt any, cept
when they broke the tile a piece of it
fell on my head and made a little
knot.
The company captain is stil down
on me and Jake so we haven’t done
anything lately. Love, ALBERT.
The man capable of growing rich
in a year should be hanged twelve
months beforehand.—Premier Benito
Mussolini.
FOR HER—
and HER alone
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Look In Our Show Windows
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The Greater Palace
THURSDAY — FRIDAY — SATURDAY
Picruns
SUNDAY
MONDAY
TUESDAY
<Hl<KAMDDOUWECHi T CK
PREVIEW 11 P. M. SATURDAY
JACK OAKIE in
“LET’S GO NATIVE”
Also To Be Shown WEDNESDAY