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THE BATTALION
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^ SAY BO, DIDJ’A! *
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^ ^
Say bo, did you ever
Consider YOURSELF
To be the CAT’S pajamas
And EEL’S ANKLES and a
SHIEKING LIEUTENANT
All combined into one
IRRESISTIBLE PERSONAGE?
Did you LAY IT ON
And use FOUR bottles
of GLOCO two cans
Of DJER-KISS POWDER
And PINTS OF PERFUME,
In preparation of the
Coming SLAUGHTER OF LADIES
In Waco?
Didja mount the SPECIAL
And ride forth as the
One IMMACULATE HE?
As your train passed
Through a country town,
Did TWO BEAUTIFUL DAMSELS
Drive along beside the train
Looking in each window
For some one OUTSTANDING
OBJECT FOR THEIR AFFECTIONS
As they drew along beside
Your car window
Did their Hearts seem
ALL A FLUTTER
And did they WAVE and
WINK, and give
Those LURING LOOKS.
Did you return to them
A BEAU BRUMMEL SMILE
And didja THROW one SHOULDER
Far out the window
That the sun might reflect
From your SHINING BUTTONS?
Did this entrancing
Game of MOVING LOVE
Continue for miles and miles
Becoming more AMOROUS
ALL THE WHILE?
Did the damsels
Speed far ahead and
Draw up at a crossing
As you passed did they shout,
“HOT MAN, be sure to stop
On your return tonight to
COLLEGE STATION.
We will be WAITING
At the STATION
And we will know YOU
BY THAT CUTE GREEN STRIPE.”
Did you realize with consternation
That a SLIMY FISH
Had BEATEN YOUR
EXALTED TIME?
Didja rush to the BUTCHER and
DROWN YOUR HUMILIATION
In a BOTTLE of COCA-COLA;
Then PHONE ahead for a DATE
With one of the INMATES of
THE OLD MAID’S HOME.
Say bo, didja do that ?
MARLIN LEWIS did! ! ! !
WHAT POSTERITY MISSED.
If the confession magazines had
been printed in the long ago, we might
have had:
Why I Took My Celebrated Ride—
by Lady Godiva.
Three Nights in a Fish—by Noah.
My Twelve Stenographers—by
Julius Caesar.
Outwitting a Wolf—by Red Riding-
hood.
Should They be Told Anything?a
symposium by Solomon, Brigham
Young and Henry VIII.
Knocking Out Goliath—by David.
Was I to blame?—by Rip Van
Winkle.
Date: Be frank, now; tell me when
you want me to go.
Beautiful But Sleepy: Let’s not
discuss the past.
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ALWAYS THE BEST
For S ailor Work.
Same Old Stand
At a dance a young Englishman
led a Canadian girl out into the Rose
Garden, and there in the scented
moonlight, he tried to steal a kiss.
But he was awkward, and the kiss
landed on the girl’s chin. “Heaven’s
above!” she cried.
—Middlebury Blue Baboon.
After all, nineteen is the real “stone
age.”
Thomas A. Edison and Charles P. Steinmetz in the Schenectady
laboratories of the General Electric Company^ where Dr. Steinmetz
did his great work
Steinmetz
The New Corona Four
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Phone for demonstration,
H ASWELL’ S
33CZ>OIi. JS»t;ox-o
Emerson tells how the mass of
men worry themselves into
nameless graves, while now
and then a great, unselfish soul
forgets himself into immor
tality. One of the most inspir
ing influences in the life of a
modern corporation is the
selfless work of the scientists
in the laboratories, which it
provides for their research.
If you are interested to learn
more about what electricity is
doing, write for Reprint No.
AR391 containing a complete
set of these advertisements.
The spirit of Dr. Steinmetz kept his
frail body alive. It clothed him with
surpassing power; he tamed the light
ning and discharged the first artificial
thunderbolt.
Great honors came to him, yet he
will be remembered not for what he
received, but for what he gave.
Humanity will share forever in the
profit of his research. This is the
reward of the scientist, this is endur
ing glory.
eS-940DH
NEW YORK