r> THE BATTALION ■*$*■ -*$*• ■►l*- ^ -♦J*- ^ *•:♦ ❖ ^ SAY BO, DIDJ’A! * 4* 4^ ^ ^ Say bo, did you ever Consider YOURSELF To be the CAT’S pajamas And EEL’S ANKLES and a SHIEKING LIEUTENANT All combined into one IRRESISTIBLE PERSONAGE? Did you LAY IT ON And use FOUR bottles of GLOCO two cans Of DJER-KISS POWDER And PINTS OF PERFUME, In preparation of the Coming SLAUGHTER OF LADIES In Waco? Didja mount the SPECIAL And ride forth as the One IMMACULATE HE? As your train passed Through a country town, Did TWO BEAUTIFUL DAMSELS Drive along beside the train Looking in each window For some one OUTSTANDING OBJECT FOR THEIR AFFECTIONS As they drew along beside Your car window Did their Hearts seem ALL A FLUTTER And did they WAVE and WINK, and give Those LURING LOOKS. Did you return to them A BEAU BRUMMEL SMILE And didja THROW one SHOULDER Far out the window That the sun might reflect From your SHINING BUTTONS? Did this entrancing Game of MOVING LOVE Continue for miles and miles Becoming more AMOROUS ALL THE WHILE? Did the damsels Speed far ahead and Draw up at a crossing As you passed did they shout, “HOT MAN, be sure to stop On your return tonight to COLLEGE STATION. We will be WAITING At the STATION And we will know YOU BY THAT CUTE GREEN STRIPE.” Did you realize with consternation That a SLIMY FISH Had BEATEN YOUR EXALTED TIME? Didja rush to the BUTCHER and DROWN YOUR HUMILIATION In a BOTTLE of COCA-COLA; Then PHONE ahead for a DATE With one of the INMATES of THE OLD MAID’S HOME. Say bo, didja do that ? MARLIN LEWIS did! ! ! ! WHAT POSTERITY MISSED. If the confession magazines had been printed in the long ago, we might have had: Why I Took My Celebrated Ride— by Lady Godiva. Three Nights in a Fish—by Noah. My Twelve Stenographers—by Julius Caesar. Outwitting a Wolf—by Red Riding- hood. Should They be Told Anything?a symposium by Solomon, Brigham Young and Henry VIII. Knocking Out Goliath—by David. Was I to blame?—by Rip Van Winkle. Date: Be frank, now; tell me when you want me to go. Beautiful But Sleepy: Let’s not discuss the past. <3>^^ i mm. mm i ALWAYS THE BEST For S ailor Work. Same Old Stand At a dance a young Englishman led a Canadian girl out into the Rose Garden, and there in the scented moonlight, he tried to steal a kiss. But he was awkward, and the kiss landed on the girl’s chin. “Heaven’s above!” she cried. —Middlebury Blue Baboon. After all, nineteen is the real “stone age.” Thomas A. Edison and Charles P. Steinmetz in the Schenectady laboratories of the General Electric Company^ where Dr. Steinmetz did his great work Steinmetz The New Corona Four You can save Forty Dollars \X7HY pay $100 or ® more for an office typewriter when you can buy a brand-new Corona Four for $60. Standard officekeyboar d, 10" carriage, 12-yard rib bon—big machine fea tures throughout. Stur dy, substantial, very fast, light touch, quiet action. Phone for demonstration, H ASWELL’ S 33CZ>OIi. JS»t;ox-o Emerson tells how the mass of men worry themselves into nameless graves, while now and then a great, unselfish soul forgets himself into immor tality. One of the most inspir ing influences in the life of a modern corporation is the selfless work of the scientists in the laboratories, which it provides for their research. If you are interested to learn more about what electricity is doing, write for Reprint No. AR391 containing a complete set of these advertisements. The spirit of Dr. Steinmetz kept his frail body alive. It clothed him with surpassing power; he tamed the light ning and discharged the first artificial thunderbolt. Great honors came to him, yet he will be remembered not for what he received, but for what he gave. Humanity will share forever in the profit of his research. This is the reward of the scientist, this is endur ing glory. eS-940DH NEW YORK