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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 10, 1922)
GREAT MEN OF HISTORY. THE BATTALION Benjamin G. Lamme Julius Seezer: He wuz a grate Roaming general and a 1c, o a doctor because his operation on the Galls was successful. He shot craps and when he sed: “The dice are cast” he made his point. His Frend Brutus stabbed him in the royal chamber. Napolion. He wuz a grate soljer b4 me met the Book of wellintun at waterlu an dident lik hem. b4 he joined the armey he made corsetes but the corsetman wuz knot content. Dioginese: He wuz the guy who car ried a tale-light and wuz looken fur an honest man. He did’ent have no luck though. He lived before mi day. George Washington: He believed in large famblies so he became the fa ther of his country. He did’ent know how to play golf so he wuz not much of a president. He whipped the Brit ish because he couldent tell a Tory. Patrick Henry: Once he wuz the speaker of the house but after he got married he lost his voice, but did’ent mind that cause he could’ent use it anyways. He had the floor when the baby cried at knights. He made a pa- trickotic address and sed: “Give me liberty or I’ll keep still and make me own.” Tomus Edison: He marreyed and then got the idear of inventin a taw- king machine that cud be cut off when pou got enuf. Heze got a lava tory in Jersey which aint no Bull. Wilyum Jennins Brine: Heze a grate marrowthron runnel* havin ran fer president scents granpap wore short trowzers. Wilyum is strong fer greap juise when somebodeys with hem. Wouldrow Wilsen: He sined up to pich fer the leage of nashions but loast it on a fowl, he is the gratest pres, living but their is a Hardun to beet in offise now, beleave me. Hinery Ford: He is a big business man and makes his buisness run. He wants to buy the mucle shoulders and sez he kin put a million men to wurk. He expects to sell them all ten Lizzies. Hinery Ford sez he can made Lizzie bodies out of cotton. He sez his only obstacle is getting Boll Weavil insurance on Fords. R. D. Brackett: He teeches the seenurs at A. and M. College publick speekin but his inishols dont meen rural delivery. He flunked thirty seven seenurs because there was no :moar. Their is goin to be sum ackters this tirm that will pass publick speek in dramatickally. MELBA NADINE MASCARA. T VISITORS at the Chicago World’s V Fair, in 1893, saw the first exten sive use of alternating current ever un dertaken, when Westinghouse lighted the entire grounds with this type of current. This achievement marked the beginning of the commercial de velopment of alternating current for power purposes, and brought the in duction motor into a prominence ■which it has never since relinquished. Great and rapid have been the de velopments since that day, but the most impressive aspect of this prog ress is not to be found in the spec tacular evidences that are visible to everyone, but rather, in the vision and fundamental soundness and de termination that have been quietly at work blazing and clearing the trails which the electrical art has followed. There is, for instance, the synchro nous converter. This! machine is the most efficient and economical means for changing alternating to direct cur rent, which the operation of most street railway systems and many other processes require. Without it, the development of alternating cur rent to its present universal useful ness would have been tremendously retarded. The synchronous converter, in its present perfection, is but one of the great contributions to electrical prog ress that have been made by Benja min G. Lamme, Chief Engineer of the Westinghouse Electric & Manufac turing Company. Mr. Lamme, in 1891 when he was Chief Designer, conceived and developed the con verter, which, first used commerci ally in connection with the great Niagara power plan, has since come to be indispensible to large producers of power. When a man has played so vital a part in electrical progress that his knowledge and vision have contrib uted to practically every forward en gineering step, it is perhaps misleading to attempt to identify him particu larly with any one development. His work on the induction motor, the turbo generator, the single-phase rail way motor, and the synchronous con verter is but typical of the construct ive ability which Mr. Lamme has brought to bear on practically every phase of electrical development. A man of foresight, visioning the alternatives in a problem as well as its hoped-for results. A man whose mind combines great power of analysis with the gift of imagination. A prolific technical writer, whose style is un equalled in clearness and simplicity of expression. Few engineers so thor oughly predetermine the results they actually achieve. Few men capitalize their experiences so completely. And few indeed have at once his thorough technical equipment, his commercial understanding, and his broad human interests. An institution which has builded its success largely on engineering achieve ment pays Benjamin G. Lamme af fectionate loyalty and respect. The young engineer on his first job, as well as the most seasoned co-worker, finds in him understanding, sympathy, wise counsel, and a conscience; to all of which his associates, in preparing this article, are proud to bear witness. Oh, what a terrible time we girls have preserving our reputation in this wicked age! For thirteen years I have worked in the needle department of the fif teen cent store, and in that time I have waited on old ladies and sma 1 ! children exclusively. Last Monday a new floorwalker strolled to our counter and introduced himself. To show him that I was a respectable girl, I elevated my eyebrow and gaz ed across at the mousetrap counter. Thirty minutes later he approach ed again. “By the way, Misis Mas cara,” he said, “have you been to the Queen this week?” Oh the shame! the disgust! the horror of it! To be thus publicly in sulted ! It was too much! Without a word I pulled my revolver from my stocking and shot him dead. My honor has been preserved. They called the baby Ivy because she crawled all over the house. Westinghouse Mother—Flora, why did you stay out in front so long last night when that Woods boy brought you home, Flora S.—But, mother, I only stayed for a second. Mother—Is that all—I thought I heard a ninth or tenth. Capt. Tuttle: Do you know your general orders? Gerald Fahey: Yes Sir. Capt. Tuttle: What would you do in case of fire? Gerald Fahey: I would send for my wheel barrow. A wise old owl sat in an oak; the more he heard the less he spoke; the less he spoke the more he heard. Say are you as wise as that old bird? Son—“Dad can you sign your name with your eyes shut?” Dad—“Yes, my boy.” Son—“Then try it on this report card.”—El Charlalor. The King: “I must have gold, you imbecile! Cough up!” Prime Minister: “But, your Maj- I esty, the coffers are empty.”