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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 7, 1921)
*** ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ ❖ *X* ❖ *X+ ❖ ♦> ❖ ^ **. ❖ »J* ❖ STRANGE TO SAY * ❖ * ❖ <x+ *x* 'X* ♦*+ <{» «.*<■ .jf Dr. Bizzell’s attention has been turned of late, to a study of indus trial problems and labor unions. Only the other day part of his office force was tied up. * * * T. C. U. outplayed the Praying Colonels the first quarter last Satur day, but, unfprtunately, played the last three quarters against the prey ing Colonels. * * * And a Merry Christmas was had by all. Too bad that “Chick” Evans had to spend New Year’s Day on the train but you know classes were resumed last Monday. :Js ;I: California State clearly displayed last Saturday that she has next to the best football team west of the Brazos when she “laid” Ohio State down with a “goose-egg.” Ohio’s score was the beginning and'the end of O-hi-o. A STORY—C? The scene opens in the great out- ’o-doors as the hero named Sherrill rides up on his trusty steed and dis mounts Under (a)wood to Reid. A Strange Payne attacks him for a “Short(y)” while and he appears to be in “Misery.” He is dreaming of the day when he shall have a Real Castle and a Fouraker lot to call his own. The villian rides up just as the hero sings a sweet ChristmasCarroll and gives him a Rapp on the head but hero did not enjoy the Knox. The heroine rides up just as Sherrill gives the villian a Northcutt to the eye. A Forester came up and interfered. As soon as he saw it was a Jap-our hero ceased fighting. (Curtain.) (Scene two has no bearing on the story but shows our hero as the dreamer he is). The hero is dreaming of his Foster brother who had been lost in the woods but had been found by a Mil ler. He also dreams of how he used to drink Casa-Day of Ginn and how Hardy a Cooper his father had been before his wife used to P(a)et’er Son. He was always Hurrling something at her because he did not give A- Dam(s). The dream changes to Hy land where theis is a Hole-Camp and where many oil Riggs are in view. But Strange to say, the dream fades and he awakes. ( Curtain). (The third scene is the most thrill ing). The villian says to himself, Howell we kill her unless we P(f)luger full ’o bullets. He wrote to his accomplices on an Oliver and asked for their opinion. They re plied that it could be Dun-a-g(i)n. They hid behind the Ross monument and waited for her. The hero is in the “Y”. He Bohls awhile and then says to Jack-“son where is Ma-lone I let you Have last week?” As the fel low did not have it he Sherrill went over to the first sergeant and got a Dameret. He then goes toward the main building aijd sees the heroine snatched up by the dastardly villian. He gives fight and the miscreants retreat faster than a Gatlin could shoot. He did not follow them for he said to him self, “Oh, well! They’re McCullough. He and the heroine step into his Hudson and he drives off Boriskie (ly) toward the town of Sheffield. And another sunset as a perfect day ended. FINIS. (Note: All blackface type indicates the name of a man in Co. C., in fantry). FISH QUEER. AFTER DINNER OBSERVATIONS. Well, anyhow, we are assured that when our sons come to A. and M. they won’t have any trouble working their way thru school, since there will be always plenty of work in cleaning up the mess left by the burnt down M. E. Shops. * * * The height of our ambition is to read a letter from our oldest boy in which he states that he climbed up the water tower and painted a great big glorious 44 all over the thing. * * ❖ Tomorrow will be the first day in the history of A. and M. that two hun dred and fifty students will each have fifty dollars in their pockets; and it’s a shame that you wont be able to say the same thing on Mon day. * * * * Far be it from us to be knocking the Air Service, but we really believe that they are serving us enough of it already—and hot at that. Customer: “Bowl of oyster soup, two scrambled eggs, coffee and brown bread.” Ex-S. A. T. C. waiter: “Marines in the mud, two squads, deploy ’em, cup of reveille and colored shock troops!” —Rutgers Targum. ♦$*- •*'£*- ♦J*- ♦£«- -*$»■ tl-*- tl*- ❖ * * BULLETIN BOARD * ❖ * A Company Paragraphs. “Top-Kick” Carruthers had a birth day the other day and celebrated the event in Bryan. Ever since the Y banquet he’s been finding some ex cuse to go to Bryan every night or so. Be careful Bob, don’t lose any more of your pins. * * * It has been rumored that Sgt. “Duck” Styles borrowed Sgt. Rea’s R. V. cap to have his picture made in. “Duck,” we wondered what made the picture look so “military-like.” * * * A certain sergeant in this organi zation escorted a very handsome “he- woman” to the lyceum the other night. We congratulate you “Sarg,” for your shrewdness, also for your feminine taste. However, we sin cerely hope that you will change your taste before the hour of matrimonial unification approaches you. * * * WANTED—One “Human Maxim- Silencer” for Sgt. Wendt. He makes so much noise at drill we can’t hear the captain’s commands. * * * Don’t worry “Fishes”, you needn’t write Santa any letter. You’ll get just lots and lots of presents even before Christmas. Troop B Notes. The Squadron football team is lin ing up and it’s going to take a good outfit to tame the Hoopers. * * * The weekly “Round-Up” took place Saturday night. The “equipment” race was pulled off in record time. In wrestling, Slime Willig was sensa tional and he threw the noted Omsler by his famous Japanese toe-hold. Slime Terry was knocked out in a fast and furious blind-folded boxing bout. Fish Burrows delivered a rous ing lecture on Wild Women. Fish Henry took the floor amid much ap plause and by an illustrated lecture, he proved to all present that love is like photography because it has to be developed in the dark. It was a success as “Tango” stayed awake throughout. At the next meeting all “mavericks” will be branded. * * * Ask Jack Delaney why he rides be hind the saddle when he takes the hur dles. * * * Thompson and Forsythe to visit the Border. In the near future these two daring characters will depart for the wild and wooly land of Mexican ban dits. Dressed in cowboy garb, boots, spurs, broad-brim hat, red bandana and with six-shooters slung on each hip, they will step across the border at Mercedes and yell: “Run out the worst you’ve got; this old iron of mime has been cold too long!” Esit- mated trophies of chase: Killed: seventeen deer, seven Mexican lion, 593 ducks, twelve bandits, and 27 quarts of “Three Star.” The “Doings of E Company. All the old men are rejoicing over the fact that their old top-kick of last year is with them now as 1st Lieu tenant. T. B. stands ace high with E Company and the other companies had better look out for the flag for they are sure after it. * * * “Hoot-Hoot” Hallmark says that he dreamed that he was moving in his sleep the other night and woke up out in the middle of the drill field. We think that this calls for an explana tion. * * * “Dang-Berry,” “Wang Wootus,” “Craps,” “Peaberry,” “Dang Pootus,” “Bootlegger,” “Jimmie,” “Moonshin er,” “White Lightning,” “Pootus” De berry says that he will publish his new book “The Latest and Most Im proved Methods of Making and Sell ing Moonshine,” during the Christmas holidays. * * * “Jew” Miller, the well known profi teer of Bizzell, states that he expects to have the rubber market cornered within the next six weeks. * * * “Barnyard” Henderson has sub mitted a petition to the dietician at the Mess Hall requesting that sausage be served at least twice a day. * * * The Chronic Bull Pen,, 151 Bizzell, will open at 6:30 p. m. in the future instead of 6:15 as has been the cus tom lately. This delay is due to the fact that the meal hounds say they must have more time at the Mess Hall. * * * The Married Men’s Club met and elected their officers for the year of 1921 last Thursday night. Hotcake Brown was unanimously elected pres ident, Maggie McGee was elected vice-president and “Corporal Grover” was elected secretary-treasurer. The famous “Sergeant Charlie” Crawford will address the club tomorrow night on “How To Make Your Wife Love You!” An admission will be charged THE BATTALION m to defray this noted lecturer’s ex penses. * ❖ * “Iron Willie,” the great man of E Company will give an exhibition of the strength of iron as compared to concrete. “Concrete” Mims will de fend the interests of the concrete peo ple. * * * Last Saturday evening the entire company were the guests of Soph Dickson for a wonderful roof party given at the new Hotel Bizzell Roof Garden. The guests met at young Dickson’s room at about ten thirty and escorted him to the roof garden from there. All arrived at the place of merriment in a great spirit of mind and ready for the fun. The first thing on the program was a game of hide and seek in which Dickson took the hard role and hid from the entire assembly and locked himself out on the garden—through some mysterious manner. The desert was rock soup served in a most unique manner. The guests gathered on the west side of the hotel and were served the soup from the roof by their genial host. Everyone proclaimed the evening great and bid their host a cold night and cleared out just as the first notes of Taps sounded. Young Dickson re mained on the roof and ate the rest of the soup until he was called away by his captain who found the lost key to the garden—namely, a 20 foot rope well tied. Many thanks to you young Dickson, we hope that you will repeat the treat real often. Company F Notes. Before this issue of The Battalion comes from the press, the first inter battalion football game will have been played and won. It is between the Cavalry and the 3rd Battalion. We claim that Companies E and F have a better team than the Cavalry and predict that we will come off the field with the big end of the score. Any way, we will break the ice and the dopesters can begin their task of pick ing the winning team. * * * When we canvassed the Company in an effort to find someone who had some ideas that could be developed into news items for The Battalion, Fred Wilson said, “Tell them that I am going home Saturday.” Every- bady else yelled, “Ditto!” ❖ * * Davis tells us that the only two jokes in the company are the two who room with him, Tippett and Crane. We hate to print this, but it is some thing that ought not to be kepfe-fro the public. The following letter was sent to the Midnight Mail on the night of Wednesday, the 15th: “Dear Dad: Due to the fact that Prexy or someone changed his mind, holi days begin on Saturday instead of on Wednesday. I will be home on Sun day morning instead of on the mor ning of Thursday the 23rd; so you had better lay in that extra supply of groceries on Saturday instead of waiting until Wednesday. Your lov ing son, Signed: Fish Fats Maufrais, Company Meal Hound. * * * “King” Harry Wheeldon called his ‘Monarchy” together the other night and gave them final instructions as to what to do with themselves during the holidays. He told them that he was going back to his home in Big Springs and have a general good time and that he expected everyone to do the same and return on the 3rd of January with every intention of sweeping everything before them. * * * It is rumored that J. Hadley Edgar failed to receive a letter from his girl this week. We extend our sympathy to him, not that we know how it feels to be in this fix, but because we might be in such a fix someday and need sympathy ourselves. Company C Notes. “The Trophy Flag.” The flag, its silken folds, does fling, Flag of the state we love so well; No room is there for the ne’er do well, No room for the one who will not sing Of Company “C”, Pride of the Campus, again to be. Even “fish” are proud of the rec ord made, Proud of the men who did so fine, Proud of the long unbroken line That won the last hard dress parade. and you shall see. We’ll win again, will Company “C”. We had the best drilled men of all, And for their work we won the flag; In work or play we never lag, Our record and our glory have no pall. We’ll always be The same old honor Company “C”. Other companies drilled very well; They did their best but that was all, They played the game, we “held the ball.” Such was their luck, but, “Oh, Hell!” Old Company “C” Can’t be beaten by any company. That time is gone, this time is here, We’ll fight for the flag again. We’ll fight for the flag and win, Not only now but again each year. That flag shall be The permanent property of Company —“Fish Queer.” * * * You sliould oughta seen ’em pulling Ogle’s chin whiskers out with a pair of pliers down in the C.E. Lab the other day. WRESTLING MATCH Bill Schober, America’s World Cham pion, Failed to Throw Leon Smith, Champion of A. and M. College Thursday night in a wrestling match between Billy Schober, Amer ica’s World Middle Weight Champion, and Leon Smith, champion of A. and M. College, at the Woodman Hall, Schober failed to throw Smith twice in thirty minutes, or to be exact, he failed to throw him once in thirty minutes. Smith is one of our home boys, be ing a mail clerk on the Santa Fe rail road, and his many friends here did not know he was a good wrestler as he proved himself to be last night. They had only seen him in one match before and that was with Oscar Bur nett of Henderson, in which there wasn’t a fall in twenty-five minutes. Bill Schober is a fine looking man, being a giant in strength and one of the best built men that we have ever seen. He shows that he has taken good care of himself and has trained himself for the profession he is fol lowing. In his manner of wrestling, being fair in every stage of the game, he won the good will of every person fin attendance last night. Mr. Schober came from El Paso to Wichita Falls and from that city to Longview and caught cold on the long trip and said that he was not feeling well as he had a very severe headache, but would try to work it off- during the evening’s entertainment. He said that Smith was a much bet ter man than he had expected to meet here, but that he had run up against many snags in the wrestling game and Smith was one of them. He thanked the crowd for coming out to witness the performance and said that he had done his part to entertain them. Before the main bout several very clever and interesting preliminary matches were engaged in between the boys here. One boxing match was staged between two lads of about ten summers. These little fellows showed ■thoy-iyhad -the “makings” of box ers in their systems, as they gave and took blows freely. The evening’s entertainment proved to be very interesting for all who at tended and no doubt a much larger crowd will witness the next bout that is held here. Mr. Schober left today for his home in Chicago, but said that he hoped to visit our city again in the future and have another match here. —Longview Clarion. —that" * ■— THE KISS “But”— “No.” “Just”— “No.” “Once”— “No.” “Pleease”— “No ” sj: :5c :J: :ic :J: :Jc “Henry,’ why don’t you shave?’ ' —Exchange. “A Tuscalo girl is suing her em ployer for $5,000 damages on ac count of a most peculiar accident which occurred in the home where she is employed as a domestic. She was taking her bath by the kitchen range and she stepped out on the washpan slipped on a cake of soap on the floor, and sat down on the stove. WACO NEWS! The uniting in marriage of Mr. E. B. Fason and Miss Dorothy Deaton came as a surprise to everyone but we wonder why it turned out to be a joke after they had all of us believing it was true. A few doses 666 break a cold. A COLLEGE SONG. In the Christmas issue of The Bat talion a suggestion was made that A. and M. have a mascot and “Wild cat” was appropriately mentioned. The need of this College for an Alma Mater song was mentioned. It is high time that we bestirred ourselves in this opportunity. The following is submitted as a battle song for A. and M. The tune is march time. Reynaud can play it for you. How about this ? Aggies forward march to victory, Aggies lead the way, Aggies forward march to victory. This is the WILDCAT’S day, RAY! (Yell the word Ray). Aggies forward march to victory, Fight with brain and brawn, We’ll leave old T. U. lying in the dust, As we go marching on. Slovacek-Novosad Music Co. Bryan, Texas Dealers in CONN AND MARTIN BAND INSTRUMENTS Selmer & Buffet Reed Instruments; Ludwig Drums; Degan Bells and Xylophones; Lyon & Healy String Instruments PIANOS, TALKING MACHINES, DOLLS, RECORDS AND MUSIC ❖ » ; yllre jSLsnlik ! • § HIGH GRADE PHOTOGRAPHS. GUARANTEED ALL WORK LARGE PHOTOGRAPHS OUR SPECIALTY Postoffice Block. Bryan, Texas The College Community STORE ■ r «i* * * IS NOW OPEN GIVE US YOUR ORDERS FOR GROCERIES G. O. TURNER, Manager • • • • FEEL BLUE? Does everydody “misunderstand” you ? All the joy gone out of life ? Cheer up! It’s just your system that’s “out of kilter”. A few Chiropractic Adjustments will put you on your feet. Make a new person of you. See DR. A. R. COHN Today Rooms 32 and 33, Astin Blbg. Phone 477. IG. S. PARKER LUMBER @ Up-to-Date Work Done at the CAMPUS SHOE SHOP Our prices are right and we make old shoes look like new. H0LICK & SON PHONE 41 •• BRYAN, .TEXAS •i* if *r ¥ *• • • 4. • • «• • • • • • • • i* • • ■ ■ ■S’ •f* •• •• •• •• •• • • •• •• Eight chairs. One of the 2^ best equipped shops in Tex- O as. All kinds of 1! • f • • • • • • Come to See Us •• J. F. LAVINDER, Prop. :! «$• *1* *2* "l* -I* ^ *1** *1* »X < *1* *£• ^ 1 CAMPUS BARBER SHOP TONICS the FIRSTNATIONAL BANK OF BRYAN (Since 1873) Accounts Solicited Upon most liberal terms the Capital and Surplus $250,000.00 Undivided Profits . . $50,000.00 '>!'• 'I**;-' ^ ^ 4’ 4* 'I' 1 EXCHANGE BARBER SHOP •& Five First Class Barbers J* T. A. ADAMS, Proprietor M.H. JAMES THE LEADING DRUGGIST Ours is the REXALL STORE Everything in Drugs and Toilet Articles t DR. W. H. LAWRENCE ? t DENTIST J t Res. Phone 558, Office Phone 521 •§» ❖ 4th Floor City Natl. Bank Bldg, t 4* Bryan, Texas * •X*•t* »X a *2* *1° "I 8 *3>* *1* *I a •X* *1* CALL AND SEE The College Tailor Next to Boyett’s Store HIGH GRADE TAILORING and Repairing Boys Are Invited to Our Place