10
THE BATTALION
CASUALLY SPEAKING
Many years ago a great Scotch
poet pointed out the advantages of
seeing ourselves as others see us
This year the A. and M. Casuals have
a very good chance to see themselves
from the viewpoint of others and to
hear about themselves as well. The
mirror as held up for us by the cadet
corps does not reflect a very flatter
ing image on the whole, but at least
we know our defects and that does
some good.
The concensus of the opinions
freely and sometimes profanely ex
pressed by Pershing’s understudies
at this institution, brings out the
startling fact that we are the great
est bady of gold-brickers, reveille-
shunners, sons of rest, exponents of
the noble art of bunk fatigue, ho
boes, tramps, I. W. W.’s, Bolsheviki
and pure, honest-to-goodness down
right loafers in captivity.
Alhtough we cannot say that we
quite agree with our friends and
well-wishers, still we think that such
a noted society as ours ought to be
maintained up to its highest stan
dards as a curiosity, if nothing bet
ter. It is a very great distinction to
be able to say that one belongs to
such a collection of choice individ
uals, to say the least of the pleasures
to be derived from the privileges ex
tended to the organization
whole.
In our defense we can say that the
requirements for admission to this
noble Band of Dalliance are as strict
as those of the cadet corps. Any
one able to distinguish call to
quarters from pay call, or recall
from assembly, anyone who feels
severe muscular contraction of the
right arm when passing an Army of
ficer, or anyone who has ever used
military hairbrushes, is not one of
us. In fact, anyone showing the
slightest sign of militarism is not
capable of holding down a berth in
the Royal Order of Casuals.
Right here we wish to express our
commiseration for those dapper
youths who are so lucky as to be able
to officiate in the early morning cal-
esthenics exercises. We are sorrj;
that our rising hours prohibit observ
ing these and also numerous other
privileges which we are told are very
healthful and invigorating, and
which develop self control, co-or
dination and self-esteem, to say
nothing of manly grace and a mili
tary carriage, whatever that be. Our
sidea of a military carriage is a
caisson, a buckboard or an escort
wagon, but of course we are not sup
posed' to know anything about such
matters.
From our observations, we have
seen quite a few of our number who
still retain their characteristic gait,
and we often have to remind our
selves that thre are no cotton rows
on the Military Walk when we see
some veteran of the Safe-At-The-
College war circulate past ,head up.
chin out, arms swinging like a ne
gro minstrel performer and abdom
inal muscles trying to stimulate a
corset-like shape.
Were it not for the interest taken
by the Casuals in the noble and
nearly lost art of horizontal engi
neering, that science would be as ex
tinct as the dodo in this institution.
We must pause here to pat ourselves
on the back for preserving such an
art, which will be so useful to pos
terity. Surprising and sensational
results have been obtained from re
cent laboratory experiments made at
a great sacrifice of time and labor,
and we expect soon to publish the
results in book forpi so that the
world may know the secrets of long
life and tranquility.
We have suffered the loss of sev
eral of our members, but as they
seemed to be a type of heretic, we
must be content. Maybe they got
what they were looking for and may
be they didn’t. Those wayward
ones who mistook the Cavalry for a
snap and hastened to join it in hopes
it would be a close second to the
Casual Company were probably dis
appointed and certainly lead astray.
Since then, however, we can boast
of 100 per cent loyalty, for the rest
of our members realize that the best
place is home sweet home, where one
may rest undisturbed as long as he
desires without any evil influences or
any demoralizing outside effects. To
sa ythe least, the privilege of cuss
ing the bugler to your heart’s con
tent is worth the price of admission
alone. In my opinion, the faculty
ought to charge admission to the
Casual Company, as it will be a very
popular organization after this year.
Most of our august body this year
are casuals by virtue of service, (in
the Y. M. C. A. Replacement Bat
talions, Jewishmaster Corps, and
elsewhere), but we predict that the
number claiming exemption next
year will increase to such an extent
that several other dormitories will be
needed to house our most honorable
body of gold-brickers and horizontal
engineers.
While we are making suggestions,
we might say that as so much honor
and social distinction goes with our
organization, it would not be a bad
idea to provide us with a social sec
retary or probably a couple of them.
It is a shame the Cadet Corps can
not be as popular with the ladies as
we are, and as they may feel neglect
ed, we will provide amusement for
them at least once a year to kill the
pangs of homesickness.
’23
“T’s” FOR MEAL-HOUNDS
There is a rumor being spread
broad-cast that “T’s” will be award
ed to several of the students at A.
and M. in recognition and in honor
of their abilities to store away
chow”. It is not known yet who
is going to award the “T’s”, maybe
the Athletic Council, maybe Coach
Bible or Coach Driver, maybe even
Prexy himself. However, we think
the awarding ought to be done by
Mr. Sbisa. It is such a great adver
tisement for his wholesome and ap
petizing food.
And just think, some of the fel
lows even “Gripe” about the food
they get to eat. If one would only
come into either of the Mess Halls at
any meal hour and watch the per
formances of any of the expert
sword swallowers—watch the dishes
being rapidly emptied—watch the
waiters as they hasten to the kitchen
with empty dishes and return with
full ones, only to have to repeat the
action with never a breathing spell,
one would nevermore “Gripe”, and
one would joyfully vote “yea” in
stead of “Nay’ with regard to award
ing “T’s” to meal-hounds.
Note the expression “If one would
watch these things.” That is just the
trouble. Each one is too busy get
ting his neck just as as close as pos
sible to his own plate and consum
ing as much food as possible, to pay
any attention to his fellow chow-
consumers in action. Why, if a man
were to stand at one end of the Mess
Hall and fire a pistol two inches
above the shoulders of the man di
rectly in front of him, the bullet
and never touch a mans head, the
men are that concentrated upon fill
ing the empty chasm above their belt
line. That good old saying, “Pull in
your neck,” seems to have no place
in Sbisa’s Mess Halls.
But as we started out to say,
there is a rumor that “T’s” will be
awarded to several meal-hounds in
this College. God pity the poor
judges! There will be keen com
petition. Andd from the looks now,
it would seem that only those men
on the training tables do not deserve
them ,and they would, if they were
eligible.
’23-
THE GRIPER’S CLUB
the
be-
Fish Take Notice:
Another chance to get into
limelight! Another chance to
come in time one of the “Big” men
of the College. Don’t join the De
bating Club or go out for athletic
teams where previous experience
and hard work count more than any
thing. Here’s your chance to be
come one of the “big” men with ab
solutely no effort on your part. No
previous experience requu*ed. Just
join and the rest will come natural
to you. Join the Griper’s Club—ab
solutely the latest thing at this Col
lege, and it’s bound to grow. Get in
now and grow up with the institu-
would go clear to the opposite wall, I tion. Of course, the Seniors will be
the Chief Gripers, as they have been
here the longest, and consequently
have the most experience. But just
think how you will develop, if you
take them as a model of what to do,
and take the Sophs as a model of
what not to do. Freshmen, can you
not see on what an exalted plane you
will soon be, if you will just use the
Sophs as an example of “What not
to do to Succeed?” Come on out to
the next performance of the club
and listen to this discussion by A.
Soph: “I object to living on a
steady diet of sawdust and shavings
even though I am a blockhead.” You
will see from this that this is your
long looked for opportunity to
eventually achieve distinction in Col
lege. Then come ont and work for
the little wooden hammer which is
to be awarded to all distinguished
gripers, and which will soon over
rate a mere “T”.
•k—I—rk—v'vk-k-k'k-'rk-k-k**!—!**!—!-*r*!**rk**!”i—>
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GOODYEAR
SYSTEM for the Best
and Quickest
SHOE REPAIRING.
See
BRYAN SHOE HOSPITAL