14
THE BATTALION
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BOWLING
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BUGHUNTERSI WATCH YOUR
VEGETABLES.
PRO AND CON
HE'S NOT FROM A. AND M.
Synonymous
A potato went out on a mash
And sought an onion bud;
“That’s pie for me!” observed the
squash
And all the Beets turned red.
“Go ’way!” the onion, weeping,
cried;
“Your love I cannot be;
The pumpkin be your lawful bride—
You cantaloupe with me.”
But onward still the tuber came.
And lay down at her feet;
“You Califlower by any name
And it will smell as wheat;
And I, too, am an early rose,
And you, I’ve come to see
So don’t turnip your lordly nose,
But spinach at with me.”
“I do not carrot a tall to wed,
So go, Sir, if you please!”
The modest onion meekly said:
“And lettuce pray have peas!
Go, think that you have never seen
Myself, or smelled my sigh;
To long a maiden I have been
Uor favors in your eye!”
“Ah, spare-a-cuss!” the tuber prayed;
“My cherrished bride you’ll be;
You are the only weeping maid
That currant now with me!”
And as the wily tuber spake
He caught her by surprise,
And giving her an artichoke,
Devoured her with his eyes.
’22
Prof. Burchard: “Name three ar
ticles containing starch. Mr. Thomp
son.”
Red: “Two cuffs and a collar.”
>22
“Jack was so disrespectful to his
father that he disinherited him.”
“Too much fresh heir for the old
gent, eh?”
Her skin’s white as marble
(That’s powder man).
And her color is gorgeous
(It comes in a can).
Her lips are delicious
(The rouge is still wet).
And her alshes—(Ye gods!
Hair tonic I’ll bet).
Her teeth are like pearls
(She owes for ’em now).
And her hair is cpun-gold
Peroxide I vow!)
My love is a vision;
She fills me with joy.
(Your love is a nightmare—
Come out of it Boy!!)
His skin is well tanned
(That’s jaundice-—don’t weep),
And his eyes are so dreamy!
(From too little sleep).
His hair is jet brack
(’Tis dye makes it so)
And it’s lovely and wavy
(Cury papers, you know).
His chest is so broad
(All padded—just bluff).
And he’s upright and manly
(Coarse, vulgar and gruff).
My “love” is a model—
He’s unlike the rest,
(Your “love” is a fossil—
Young woman, go West!)
’22
The day is dark and stormy,
The clouds are in the sky,
My English Prof, has combed his
hair
But has not tied his tie.
’22
We are inclined to argue with Life
when it suggests this song for 1920
college reunions: “For it was once
fair wether when good fellows got
together;” and would also like to
add far better too.
She—“Well, Ed, why don’t you kiss
me ?”
He—“I was in doubt.”
She—“Why not give me the bene
fit of it?”
’22
SOME DEFINITIONS
Y. M. C. A.—A bright spot in
Prof. Miller’s imagination.
Faculty—A body of professors who
hold official kangaroo court once a
week and draw their salary once a
month.
’20
FURTHER FOOLISHNESS.
Night loved Day and wanted to
make her hi wife. But when he at
tempted to take her into his arms she
fled from him on the wings of the af
ternoon, disappeared over the western
hills and was seen no more. Thus
Night sorrowful and forlorn shed
tears upon the earth and in the morn
ing men found them and called them
dew.
’22
Asa Hunt says that someone should
detail a fish to put up another flag
with ’23 on it. Asa evidently has the
old sweet tooth. However, just about
now is an opportune time for such a
thing. The Sophs would have plenty
of cush ’til school is out, and the Fish
would be better off for losing it any
way.
’22
Todda: “George, Red’s been fil
ing his old love letters.”
Martin: “Were they as rough as
all that?”
’22
They fed the horse most every day
Until the arn ran out of hay,
Then the. farmer was heard to say—
Excelsior.
We can’t help feeling that there is
some relat’onship between Prof.
Brackett and the “Air”-dome.
’20
Ambitions “Birds”
“Corncobhky” Czechtovitch turned
Bolshevik to save the price of a
rhave. (Yea, veritably innumerable
shaves.)
1—’22
We are not very well-versed in the
ways of ambition, but we wish to say
with all candor that in our estima
tion the “rube” who takes “Bull-
ticks” notes at a military movie has
reached the heights.
«—’22
“Itch” Hurley has confided that
he thought for many moons that he
had discovered a new planet until
the wind blew his hopes off the top
of the Main building.
’22
You can’t beat the A. and M. men
for politeness. Melburn Cooper was
out with an R. V. girl last week and
directly in front of the flag pole she
stopped:
“Oh. I forgot to wind my ankle
watch!”
Cooper: “Allow me—er—that is
—DID YOU?”
’22
The Daily Texan just before the
Baylon track meet in an editorial
argued for a good attendance from
the student body. We hope nothing
of that sort will be necessary when
the Aggies meet Rice Friday.
’22
“Say boy, you look as though
you’d been doped!”
“Naw! Sbisa had cabbage for
dinner.”