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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (April 29, 1920)
14 THE BATTALION @(®)(§)©)(®)(g) (§)(©)(©) (§)(@)©K§)(§)©©)(©)(§)(©) (®)@(®) (G) (©) (®) (g) <§)(§)(§)(§) (§)(§)@)(©)^)(§)(®) (§)(§)©(§)(§) @K®)(g)@K§)(®)(©)(§)(§)(g) (§) (g) (§) <©) (g) (g) (©) (g) (g) (©) (g) PHONE COX. WORLEY & FAiRMAN (g) (g) FOR .. Service Cars DAV OR NIGHT. Von arc also Invited to Spend a Pleasant Hour BOWLING (g) (g) Phone 666 Phone 303 (§> <<§) ® (g> ® (§) (g> ' ® (g> (g) (g> (g) BUGHUNTERSI WATCH YOUR VEGETABLES. PRO AND CON HE'S NOT FROM A. AND M. Synonymous A potato went out on a mash And sought an onion bud; “That’s pie for me!” observed the squash And all the Beets turned red. “Go ’way!” the onion, weeping, cried; “Your love I cannot be; The pumpkin be your lawful bride— You cantaloupe with me.” But onward still the tuber came. And lay down at her feet; “You Califlower by any name And it will smell as wheat; And I, too, am an early rose, And you, I’ve come to see So don’t turnip your lordly nose, But spinach at with me.” “I do not carrot a tall to wed, So go, Sir, if you please!” The modest onion meekly said: “And lettuce pray have peas! Go, think that you have never seen Myself, or smelled my sigh; To long a maiden I have been Uor favors in your eye!” “Ah, spare-a-cuss!” the tuber prayed; “My cherrished bride you’ll be; You are the only weeping maid That currant now with me!” And as the wily tuber spake He caught her by surprise, And giving her an artichoke, Devoured her with his eyes. ’22 Prof. Burchard: “Name three ar ticles containing starch. Mr. Thomp son.” Red: “Two cuffs and a collar.” >22 “Jack was so disrespectful to his father that he disinherited him.” “Too much fresh heir for the old gent, eh?” Her skin’s white as marble (That’s powder man). And her color is gorgeous (It comes in a can). Her lips are delicious (The rouge is still wet). And her alshes—(Ye gods! Hair tonic I’ll bet). Her teeth are like pearls (She owes for ’em now). And her hair is cpun-gold Peroxide I vow!) My love is a vision; She fills me with joy. (Your love is a nightmare— Come out of it Boy!!) His skin is well tanned (That’s jaundice-—don’t weep), And his eyes are so dreamy! (From too little sleep). His hair is jet brack (’Tis dye makes it so) And it’s lovely and wavy (Cury papers, you know). His chest is so broad (All padded—just bluff). And he’s upright and manly (Coarse, vulgar and gruff). My “love” is a model— He’s unlike the rest, (Your “love” is a fossil— Young woman, go West!) ’22 The day is dark and stormy, The clouds are in the sky, My English Prof, has combed his hair But has not tied his tie. ’22 We are inclined to argue with Life when it suggests this song for 1920 college reunions: “For it was once fair wether when good fellows got together;” and would also like to add far better too. She—“Well, Ed, why don’t you kiss me ?” He—“I was in doubt.” She—“Why not give me the bene fit of it?” ’22 SOME DEFINITIONS Y. M. C. A.—A bright spot in Prof. Miller’s imagination. Faculty—A body of professors who hold official kangaroo court once a week and draw their salary once a month. ’20 FURTHER FOOLISHNESS. Night loved Day and wanted to make her hi wife. But when he at tempted to take her into his arms she fled from him on the wings of the af ternoon, disappeared over the western hills and was seen no more. Thus Night sorrowful and forlorn shed tears upon the earth and in the morn ing men found them and called them dew. ’22 Asa Hunt says that someone should detail a fish to put up another flag with ’23 on it. Asa evidently has the old sweet tooth. However, just about now is an opportune time for such a thing. The Sophs would have plenty of cush ’til school is out, and the Fish would be better off for losing it any way. ’22 Todda: “George, Red’s been fil ing his old love letters.” Martin: “Were they as rough as all that?” ’22 They fed the horse most every day Until the arn ran out of hay, Then the. farmer was heard to say— Excelsior. We can’t help feeling that there is some relat’onship between Prof. Brackett and the “Air”-dome. ’20 Ambitions “Birds” “Corncobhky” Czechtovitch turned Bolshevik to save the price of a rhave. (Yea, veritably innumerable shaves.) 1—’22 We are not very well-versed in the ways of ambition, but we wish to say with all candor that in our estima tion the “rube” who takes “Bull- ticks” notes at a military movie has reached the heights. «—’22 “Itch” Hurley has confided that he thought for many moons that he had discovered a new planet until the wind blew his hopes off the top of the Main building. ’22 You can’t beat the A. and M. men for politeness. Melburn Cooper was out with an R. V. girl last week and directly in front of the flag pole she stopped: “Oh. I forgot to wind my ankle watch!” Cooper: “Allow me—er—that is —DID YOU?” ’22 The Daily Texan just before the Baylon track meet in an editorial argued for a good attendance from the student body. We hope nothing of that sort will be necessary when the Aggies meet Rice Friday. ’22 “Say boy, you look as though you’d been doped!” “Naw! Sbisa had cabbage for dinner.”