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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 13, 1915)
No store can offer you more for your money than we can. This is a pretty big statement—yet a true state ment, nevertheless. Every garment sponsored by the House of Kuppenheimer and Society Brand is backed by our personal guar antee of 100 per cent service and sat isfaction, or your money back. $15.00 to $30.00 Brandon & Lawrence “EVERYTHING TO EAT” AT HARDY NEWTON’S STORE Bryan, Texas Let us supply your materials for Club Feeds. To Our Campus Patrons We know you want the best, always. If its Groceries, phone us. We also carry a line of toilet articles and sta tionery. W. C. BOYETT The Campus Grocer J. M. CALDWELL THE JEWELER Of Bryan, will appreciate the patronage of all Cadets and Campus people. Guaranteed satisfaction to all. His repairing is best; his optical department is best; his stock is of the highest class. See his agents at College; leave them your watch for repair. H. A. JOBBING J. R. JARVIS Room 7, Foster—rCampus Agents THE CITY TAILOR SHOP BRYAN, TEXAS Cadet Uniforms and Citizen Suits made by me. Cleaning, Pressing and Alterations a specialty. It will pay you to see me before purchasing. FRANK ZUBIK, Proprietor. Next Door to the Telephone Office WITH THE FUN MAKERS. The colored wash-woman’s philoso phy is “What’s de use to worry? Dis is only Monday mawnin’ and rent ain’t due till Sattiday.” To “cross bridges before they are reached” is trite; to build bridges where they are not, if less trite, is hardly less common. The darkest hour in the history of any young man is when he sits down to study how to get money without honestly earning it.—Horace Greeley. Father—Mary, what time did that young man leave last night? I didn’t hear him say good-night. Mary—No, father. He doesn’t say it. A mother who was considerably worried by her little two-year-old son meddling with things, said: “Baby, you put that up right now where you can’t reach it!” The weakest among us has a gift, however seemingly trivial, which is peculiar to him, and which, worthily used, will be a gift also to his race forever.—John Ruskin. There is no work of genius which has not been the delight of mankind; no word of genius to which the hu man heart and soul have not, sooner or later, responded.—J. R. Howell. The Superior One—Do you sell puppy biscuits in this one-eyed little shop? The Shopman—-Certainly, sir. Shall I put them in a bag for you to take home, or will you eat them here?— The Bystander. Fallon (who has bought a small farm)—Tell me the truth, Mr. Carney, is the soil rich or poor? Expert Gardener — Well, sor, I should say it wor wanst rich, but it’s now in raydooced circumstances.— Melborne Leader. A period of readjustment like the present it costly, but some maintain that it is worth all it costs. It goes through the land like a storm through a forest, uprooting the weak; bring ing down the unsound, leaving more room for the reliable, sturdy concerns that deserve to prosper. Before the fire, Christmas eve, two old maids were planning for the holi days. “Sister Molly,” said the younger, “would a long stocking hold all you want for a Christmas gift?” “No, Elvirie,” answered the elder, “but a pair of socks would.”—Se lected. The morale of the buyer should be just as thoroughly considered as his financial standing. There are many buyers who are hazardous risks, who nail you to the cross on impossible specifications, and when you DO get an order, the courts usually adjust the settlement. A man was fixing his automobile. “Trouble?” asked a bystander. “Some,” was the laconic answer. “What power car is it?” “Forty horse,” came the answer. “What seems to be the matter with it?” “Well, from the way she acts, I should say that thirty-nine of the horses are dead.” DORM GIRLS’ CHANT. Tell me not, in truthful accents. Every girl may have a beau. For there’s many who can’t find them, Though they seek them high and low. Life is real, life is earnest. Matrimony is the prize. Yet there’s many who can’t gain it. Though they’re witty, gay and wise. Wives of great men all remind us. We could make our life sublime If we only had a husband Who could dress us up to time. Husbands who, when walking with us. Through the crowded streets, Make us envied by all other Women that we chance to meet. In the world’s broad field of battle. In the busy whirl of life, No one wishes to live single. All had rather be a wife. Let us then be up and doing, Waiting, watching for a man, And the first who comes to woo us. Charm and keep him, if we can. —Exchange. Eight Texas colleges and universi ties were represented at the National Student Convention of the Intercolle giate Prohibition Association held at Topeka, Kan., December 9 to January 1—the greatest convention of its kind ever held in America. These includ ed Burleson College, Decatur Baptist College, Howard Payne College, Pen- iel University, Southwestern Theo logical Seminary, Southwestern Uni versity, Texas Christian University and Trinity University. WHEN IT WAS TOO MUCH. She smiles—my darling smiles, and all The world is filled with light; She laughs—’tis like the birds’ sweet call. In meadows fair and bright; She weeps—the world is cold and gray, . Rain clouds shut out the view; She sings—I softly steal away And wait till she gets through. —N. M. Round-Up. Dr. Kibler (in economics class) — What kind of money did the Indians use? “Red” Beckman — They first used wampum, then silvei’, then gold, then barter. REGRETS. Agnes—Did he kiss you? Daisy—No. I’m afraid I struggled too hard.—Judge. The man who knows least about a thing is often first to volunteer infor mation concerning it. LOCAL JOKES OF OTHER DAYS. Prof. Blake (in chemistry) — This mercury is very dirty. It came from the physics department. Fish McGinnis (to old boy, speak ing of the adjutant)—Say, can you tell me what the “crier” is saying? A Junior Bug—I love my physics, but oh! you Kidd! Fish Locek (who did not attend the game)—Did both teams have the same number of men? Texas Christian University, Dec. 16. —Six men were chosen at a prelimi nary debate last week to represent the university in the triangular de bates with Trinity and Southwestern Universities in February. The ques tion for the dehate is: “Resolved, That the President of the United States should be elected for a term of six years and be ineligible for re- election.”