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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 1, 1900)
4 THE BATTALION. Davenport, Dean, Davidson, Reiden- houer, Briggs, Taylor, Minton, Hurst, Neff, Boettcher, Cogd'ell, Smith, New berry, Carpenter and Gonsebatt. Games have been arranged with the University of Texas, October 27, at San Antonio, and Thanksgiving day, at Aus tin. Also Henry College, two games. POINTERS FOR BEGINNERS. Never call a professor by his right name; call him “Charlie,” or “Grandpa.”' or “Bobbie,” or anything except his right name. Join the cavalry detachment just as soon as you enter. The best “ponies” can be had for very little trouble. The seniors will be glad to advise you con cerning “horses” of a higher grade. Just as soon as you get your uniform, run to the picture man before it gets soiled. This has been the custom since those times “when the memory of man runneth not to the contrary.” Join the choir invisible. It sits in the organ loft where no one can harm it, and sings sacred (?) music during chapel. No musical talent required. Certain gentlemen have a tendency to sing early morning rag-times in three sharps and 1 two flats mixed. The com mandant will give you permission to sup press such gentlemen with bed slats and appropriate epithets. When you first enter College you will be called a “fish,” but when you finish you will be a “Jonah.” The professor of chemistry has a goodly store of jokes, which he will expound at specified times. It’s laugh or bust— sometimes both. SHIRT WAISTS FOR MEN. When paw came home a few days ago all het up, he sed: “At last the men are getting some commun sents. They air ergoing ter wair shurt wastes. That’s what they ot of done long ago. What’s the use of having on a vest and coat that cost twenty dollars when you mite be get ting sum enjoyment out of life wairing a ninety-sent shurt waste that will let you keep as cool as a kewcumber just offin’ the ice? Their are lots of things happening every little while to make a buddy think wimen wudi be better off if they new more, but they have sents enuff to wair shurt wastes enny way—I’m going to get the habbut.” “Goodness gracious, pawl” ses maw. “You surely ain’t in emest, air you?” “Of course I am,” paw sed. “Why shouldn’t I be?” “I don’t believe enny man that has enny self respect a tall would do sech a thing.” “That shows where you haven’t any logick,” paw ansered. “If it is right for wimen to wair them I don’t see as the men ot to be afrade. Look at the old Roamuns. They ust to go around with a table cloth slung over one shoulder and keep cumfurtubul. I bleeve that’s what made them so grate, too. How can ennybuddy have nobull thots when they are neerly roasten becoz they air such fools as to go around with four or five layers of hevvy cloth on that they don’t need only for looks? And there is the secret of the downfall of the hew-