Like their coach, Aggies holding onto the past <^>-j-SXN^-ya aVAJL I t’s that time of year again, when thoughts turn to the holidays and the ones we love. It’s also time for the Longhorns to remind our surly backward cousins who dominates Texas football. Despite leading the all-time series 68-34-5, the Aggies have made the mistake of declaring the Longhorns their rival. The game always has been circled on the respective teams’ schedules, but this rivalry really heated up some 80 years ago. After being edged by Dana X. Bible’s Aggies in 1919, a team that allowed no points all season, the Longhorns were out for blood. 20,000 people, the most ever to watch a game in the state of Texas at the time, showed up to watch the Horns knock off the Aggies. Since then, there is no doubt that the University of Texas-Texas A&M .81 grudge match is among the best college football rivalries. Perhaps one of the more memorable games in the series occurred in 1999 when the Aggies beat the Horns in front of an emotional crowd in a game dedicated to 12 Aggies who lost their lives in the 1999 Aggie Bonfire collapse. The Horns could not escape the number 12 that day as the Aggie 12th Man literally willed its team to a victory. In the wake of the tragedy, our schools put down their differences long enough to appreciate our similarities and strengths. The tragedy reminded us all that the bonds of human emotion and suffering are stronger than any rivalry can break. That was then, this is now. As A&M is steadily out-recruited by TCU, perhaps Texas fans should just start focusing on Oklahoma as their main rival. With your affinity for mixing it up with Red Raiders, coupled with your inability to actually beat them, the Red Raiders seem like a perfect match for you. Just make sure not to loiter around too long in Jones Stadium after your next defeat in Lubbock. After whining about Tech fans for a week, it shouldn’t be a surprise that the main thugs in Lubbock were Aggies. You all have an affinity for scofflaws and general law-breakers. The 1 pride and joy of A&M, Gov. Rick Perry, recently danced with snakes and praised Jesus with some east Texas schoolchildren — filled with so much good of boy spirit, he decided to shirk the U.S. Constitution and some key Supreme Court case law. Then there’s the legendary Jackie “Moneybags” Sherril — who made sure the only streak of A&M victories against UT came while your team was on the school payroll. To counter the tumbleweeds and large bovine population in College Station, A&M officials wisely have crafted numerous traditions to trick students into attending every year. Part of your exhaustive collection of cute traditions includes the rather macabre ritual known as the Elephant Walk, or, since only seniors can say the word “elephant,” the “E-Walk.” The Elephant Walk involves seniors taking a last walk around campus to symbolize their dying usefulness to the student body, like an elephant wandering off to die. Perhaps the Aggie coaching staff could join in the next Elephant Walk to sym- Besides, if we wanted to watch a bunch of yokels cruise a one-light town, we would watch the “Dukes of Hazzard” bolize their dying usefulness to Texas football so that sometime in the post-R.C. era, you Aggies will behold the wonder that is the forward pass. In the meantime, you can watch Chris Simms use it on your secondary, much like last year — just don’t strain your neck. For those not in to football, take heart. A&M recently was voted the seventh most “male-friendly” college in the nation according to Playgirl ...er. Men’s Health magazine. So call all your Aggie friends in Austin — there are probably more Aggies here than there — and tell them to get fired up, or to Gig ’Em or whatever it is you all do. Because it’s not every day you can have the honor of getting romped by a team as exciting as Texas. And if you miss the game, don’t worry. You can always catch a replay on that collection of Super 8 videos ESPN calls “Sidelines.” Although, it’s so bad. I’m not sure anyone in College Station is even watching it. Besides, if we wanted to watch a bunch of yokels cruise a one-light rural town, we would watch the “Dukes of Hazzard.” Marshall Maher is editor of The Daily Texan and a senior journalism major. Htfy C lae\/e y 2T ■/kiV, A yell e o^e\r. 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