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Page 4A
AGGIELIFE
Monday, September 25.
THE BATTALION
Flava U.
A&M in need of rap-infused cultw
'•v if&litl
Texas A&M’s
campus is proba
bly one of the
most racially
tense and racial
ly confused in
the world. How
many times have
students wander
ing across cam
pus in their usual hangover haze
had their heads turned by what they
assume is a pimped out G-ride dri
ven by a “gangsta” straight from the
“hood” bumping Ice Cube? How
many times has that "hoopty”
turned out to be a jacked up redneck
truck driven by a 300-pound ranch
er with a gun rack in the window
and a Confederate flag on the hood?
In a school as accepting of African-
Americans as it is of anyone who
does not dip, how is it that there is
so much hip-hop being played in
this town?
At any hick bar in town, on any
given night, there will be a plethora
of rap knowledge being dropped. In
any of these clubs, there will in
evitably be a room full of people get
ting jiggy to the latest hip-hop
“joints.” So, why is it that the place
will contain only white suburbanites
and barrel-racers?
What this campus really needs is
an infusion of rap video culture.
Keep in mind, these suggestions are
based on rap videos, not minority
culture. A dress code would be the
first necessity. From now on, doo-
rags and pants that sag below the
buttocks will be a necessity for men.
Women will be required to wear cut
off shorts which reveal the lower
hemispheres of their rumps. And, at
least once in a day, they must be sub
jected to a dousing in malt liquor.
After all, these innovations alone
would improve the entertainment
value of this school. At the moment,
the chief entertainment in this back
water Mecca consists of burning
things and shopping for tight jeans.
In keeping with the new dress code,
. campus businesses will have to
modify their product lines.
From now on, the gift shop will
carry chrome rims inscribed with
the A&M logo in gold. A.P. Beutel
Health Center will begin offering
comprehensive dental plans for stu
dents and staff, with compulsory
platinum caps for all. At the end of
the day, it is a travesty that our pro
fessors would be allowed to speak
without platinum in their “grilles."
Aggie rings will be replaced with
gold chains, and diplomas will be
replaced with autographed promo
tional photos of the University’s
new president. Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Unfortunately, the president
probably will not be available to stu
dents very often, due to his prior
commitments to the “bustas” who
hold him down at the record compa
ny. However, the annual barbecue
with the president that Dr. Bowen
made so popular inevitably will
continue. Hopefully, President Dogg
can convince the Texas A&M Sys
tem Board of Regents to implement
the aforementioned changes. If “The
Man” will not allow this, it is up to
the “peeps” of A&M to “bust some
caps” and convince the Regents to
change their stance. Now is a time
for activism among A&M students,
when a new cultural revolution must
take place. Like Pol Pot, President
Dogg will have to trim a little fat
from the University. If the streets
must run red with the blood of
playa-hating administrators, so be it.
On a serious note, in the Uni
sity's search for diversity, some
thing truly has been missed. II
are no true social icons like Sni
Dogg at this University. Whiletii
will never be a President Dogg
University should make an effort
attract icons of minority back
grounds, like Rick James.
A gangsta rapper will never
true acceptance at A&M, but thi
are certain aspects that could
a minority president very attraci
to the student body. Rick Janies
bodies a number of these.
First, a minority presidents
have to have a certain panache
“Super Freak” was not smooth,!
not know what was. The wigissr
appeal to the sexual minorities(*
campus, and his simple roots
Rick James a shoe-in for a jol
school w here down-home valuesi-
are treasured. However, should
Rick James prove a little toofrei
there are numerous alternatives.
James Brown, if female employ
can be out of arm’s reach,Tupac
Shakur. if he really is still alive
Ray Charles, if the University
spring for a driver, would make
cellent candidates for Univer
president. What a wonderful pi:
this would be if only minority pe
formers could become highly re
speeded faculty membe rs tind i
ministrators. In taie rap video
fashion, let us bond together and
pimp down the streets in our’69|
Impalas while hitting the switcl
until A&M becomes a rap video
cliche'. What better way to prov
the world that A&M is an inclu:
University.
Jason Bennyhoff isasei
journalism m;
TAMU Career Center
If consul ting'
is pourt of
your- career goal
attend.
Case Method
Interviewing
Wed., Sept. 27, 2000
6 p.m. MSC 226
This workshop is designed to help you prepare for interviews with
consulting organizations.
TAMU Career Center 845-5139
209 Koldus http://careercenter.tamu.edu
A place to meet your next employer
If
M
m
m\
m
m
m
m
m
m
m
Construction
Science
Career Fair
Langford Architecture Center
Session I Wednesday, September 20
Interviews September 21
Session II Monday, September 25
Interviews September 26
Over 125 Companies!
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