Wednesday. Augu S |ij The Cell ' ig Jennifer Lopez, Vim and Vincent D’Onofe directed by Tarsem Rated R laying at Hollywood II is often calledacoi lie Matrix and Silences , and the descriptionis lough. Unfortunately, not nearly as goodase se films. I is based on thesearcl killer's last victim,tat atrist Catherine Deane to the mind oftheco- irderer. Deane uses a tual reality andexpeti- etiology to enter the id and find out wherel is hidden. Thedangenj II begin to believe the I id is reality and before in his demented world. :h like a psychoticWhi ay Come. ke that film. The Cell es on bizarre a am sequences in id. These scenes, ting of the characters art rs of the movie as the; ewer’s attention. This m is not unexpected ins ?d by a man who previ- ted music videos, Losing My Religion" Tl. he scenery and special first-rate, the imagery is dark. The fact is emely morbid and offer one might expect.the. ■erial killer to be. While e a realistic portrayal of ierial killer’s mind,it, ily be too much for ers. The filmconcen- rin and suffering,and :e suffers for it. Neithe Vaughn distinguish in this film. D'Onofri been an excellent vil- e special effects often v his performance.Tin kely be relegated totk id bondage clubs in a for those not faint of worth renting the de: C+) —Jason Bennylt jiodzilla ing Takehiro Mu oho Pictures Inc ed by Takao Okawafl ■Rated PC ay ing at Hollywood 1' ons of years, a dinok lumbered in an • away from the pr} 11 ans. Now, he awakes,? itated by man’s ng — and he is hungf... i guy in about a htuidi bam rubber cost# itish for destroying^ at least he is not ano' : ric iguana accompai? ged Mathew Brodet ddy. t is, in this day and* niter graphics ima? 1 s capable of blurring 1 if reality and the i ! hire sci-fi genre of? id upon the corny. V in of overgrown ki lost. Wednesday, August 23, 2000 lillt illlirilfili iiill BATTALION life, Page 5 Srjpaui dF ifim Freshman life is not all it is cracked By Jason Bennyhoff The Battalion ETjDhousands of lost children I stumble through an asphalt LJ maze, the Texas sun beating down on their helpless backs. They scream unintelligible slogans as ringleaders rope them like sheep into a stadium while lackeys un load the children’s belongings and struggle to cram them into a glori fied prison cell. This is not a Ger man concentration camp; it's an American one — Texas A&M. For many scared sheep, this is their first time away from the flock. To that blind, sweaty, pulsating mass, I offer these words of advice — transfer now. There is no worse time to be at Texas A&M than early fall, when the professors return, an gry that their vacations have been cut short and ready to take out their frustrations on the new arrivals. The older students do their best to take advantage of the defenseless fresh men, stealing their lunch money for keg parties and such. One who has never been part of that mass of humanity known as the “fresh meat†can never under stand their fear and deep sense of loss as the cliques they once called friends disappear, and the constant in-fighting that was the occupation of a full four years of high school fades away. This is replaced by an expectation that the new students can take care of themselves in the new hierarchy of students. At the top of this chain are the athletes. These people are strong and virile and speak in one-syllable words. In their strange shadow world, exams are sheer mystery and class schedules a mere suggestion. For them, parking spots are plenti ful, and they are revered far more than a mere professor with his words and equations — the last refuge of the athletically chal lenged. Their days are filled with the smell of sweat, the taste of real food and the occasional nuisance of avoiding the tutor, a strange crea ture who can only be described as the Intelligentsia’s Storm Trooper, hellbent on forcing semi-useful knowledge down the throats of the blissfully ignorant. For these peo ple the days go by fast and the years faster. The next strata in the University food chain is graduate students. This minority remains a mystery to even experienced undergraduates, despite constant prodding, probing and narcotic experiments. One can only wonder why these strange be ings would opt to return to a uni versity campus after previously en during four years of torture. However, they are rewarded with a distant parking spot and the privi lege of grading the work of their closely removed peers, the under graduates. This is both their privi lege and their penance as it affords them the' opportunity to prey upon the new arrivals’ need for compan ionship and authority figures while being thoroughly throttled by the professors. Speak to these beasts at your peril, freshmen — they will eat you. Undergraduate students hold the next rung in the academic lad der, but they have their own sub hierarchy to uphold. Upper classmen hold the higher posi tion because they have the same ability to prey on the under classmen as do graduate stu dents. Upperclassmen appear to be benign symbols of knowl edge. Underclassmen see them as “big brother figures.†They have had the same experiences and should be able to guide, free of charge, the young babes fool ish enough to cross the Aggie Tan gates. However, do not be fooled by their khaki shorts and Abercrombie and Fitch shirts, freshmen — they are not like you. These people do not want fli your friendship or your respect’. They want your entrails. The first week of any freshman’s experience at A&M is a dizzying whirlwind of keg parties and glori fied pep rallies. These are not de signed to make you happy. They are held to lull you into a sense of secu rity so that you can be fleeced of your belongings, stripped of your pride and relieved of your will to live. Do not attend these events upon fear of death. Upperclassmen will eat you. You, the underclassmen, are the lowest rung of the ladder, except the Corps of Cadets, who hold their own ladder on which they staunch ly enjoy the lowest rung. Everyone will take advantage of you. Every one will use you. Everyone will eat you. Make this your motto; 1 will fear everyone, I will hate everyone and, above all, I will strangle everyone. e Godzilla omI Enron’s true business is about changing the way the world does business, creating new markets no one thought of before. We began as a natural gas pipeline company, and today we also sell other energy and communications services. 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