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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 7, 2000)
AGGIELIFE Monday, February 7, 2(XK) THE BATTALION Page 5 Monday, February fjl )ELUN( All work and no play makes Juan a dull boy ou Tell }> E Like f\ CooPLl of \iULC/»A)i >mepage.com B-HIPH C\A crttcl, K*J ARRET hPr.M P '• MY nEWK,. I r : MY O2MC0^ij1 MikJG sack: FK-ijl M (- -r;A STE BITS, F row," Sanjay rection." I ’ve been sleeping on my dirty laundry for about a week now. The idea was that I’d dump my dirty clothes onto the bed to force myself to do the laundry, but that didn’t quite hap pen. Instead, I go to bed every night on top of cigarette smoke smelling khakis and T-shirts I’ve had since the high-school I lonor Society Car Wash. ’95. I’m too busy to do the laundry. I have classes to run to, meetings to sleep through and assignments to complete two weeks after they’re due. I have letters and e-mail — some over two months old — that I haven't had time to respond to. In particular is a let ter from a friend of mine back home in Sulfur Springs. She wrote to me about a dream she had recently; in it, she and 1 watched a black-and-white movie to gether, except the dream was in black and white too, so really, it could have been a color movie that we were watching in a black-and-white world. Whatev er. Dreams only mean something to therapists and people who find deep meaning in fortune-cookie pre dictions. I wanted to reply about any dreams that 1 had re- I cently, black-and-white or color or 3-D or otherwise, but I haven’t had a dream in more than a month. I don’t have time to dream. I’m busy thinking of when my next project is due or getting the cable reconnected be cause I forgot to pay the bill two months in a row. Where did all this responsibility come from? I was walking across campus last week, chatting with God or Fate or whoever it is who controls our destinies. I said, “Hey man, I thought we’d agreed that I was put here to be a slacker — a goof-off. I low is it that I’m not even home long enough to watch all of TRL’ on MTV?” All I get to see is two-fifths of the Backstreet Boys and about a minute of Mandy Moore’s adoles cent rump-shaking, and then I remember that given the time, I probably wouldn’t be caught dead watching that show anyway. I’d probably be watching “Croco dile Hunter” on the Discovery’ Channel. Now that’s a guy with things to do and little time to do it. Unfortunately, it isn’t wrestling warthogs in tar pits or chasing rare venomous zebras that steals most of my time. It’s this campus, this busy university with a million activities to get lost in. I’m a writer for The Battalion, the human resources director for Aggie Pottery Unionists, the Web designer for HowdyMon- gers Online. I have a radio show at KANM, I play the drums in a promising local band, and I mow a rabbi’s lawn every Thursday from 12 to 2 p.m. (I also rake his leaves.) My point is, there are over six billion peo ple on this planet. Someone else should be picking up the slack. This is how I know there are too many people on this planet. My brother recently got “the Internet” on his computer. You know. With the e-mail and the Web sites and stuff. He’s officially a commuter on the in formation superhighway. “I predict that in the near future, we as a society will be forced to split the population into shifts, day and night/' Like many of you, I’ve had "the Internet” since I enrolled at Texas A&M. free of charge. I’ve sent e-mail to celebrities and gotten template responses. I’ve learned to Telnet and WinZip and whoosit. My first ex posure to Internet pom was in the Blocker Building’s computer lab — the guy on the computer next to me had logged onto netboobies.com and I took a peek. Mmm. Digital. So, anyway, my brother, excited in his new virtu al world, sent me his e-mail address, his Web site ad dress, and his AOL screen name so we could instant message each other. Except that I didn’t have AOL Instant Messenger. So I got it. Do you know how hard it is to come up with a screen name that hasn’t been used yet? They’re all taken. “Juan,” “JuanLoya,” “JLoya,” “JuanL,” “Ju- uuuuuuan Loooooya.” I was out of luck. I had to come up with a screen name that somehow reflected my personality, my hopes and dreams and my aspira tions, my political ideologies and my choice of car bonated beverage, all in 16 characters or less, the first being a letter. They’re all taken. JEFF SMITH/The B ATTALION “WuTangFan,” “TwinkieFiend,” “MiracloAd- dict.” They’ve all been used. I started inputting nonsense words, “brillig,” “bau- mish,” “slithy,” “obulence.” No such luck. “Jimity,” “Kumip,” “Hembot,” “Paul.” At every turn, someone had beaten me to my own fake lexicon. I tried “Fair Play.” That’s the motto of Mr. Terrif ic, the Golden Age superhero with a “natural aptitude for natural aptitudes.” If I wanted “FairPlay” as my login name, Id have to be “FairPlay 116.” See? There’s too many people on this planet when I can’t even reference obscure comic book characters without being the last in a line of one-hundred and fif teen similar minded geeks. So what is to happen? The population is huge and it’s not getting any smaller. Statistics say that before the year 2010, there will be more people on the plan et than there are hamsters dancing on the Internet (and in case you didn't know, there are a lot of hamsters dancing on the Internet. And they're all naked.) I predict that in the near future, we as a society will be forced to split the population into shifts, day and night. And why not? What a wondrous world this would produce. Every business would be open 24 hours, people could sublease their beds to night- shifters while they’re at work during the day. The ro mantic comedy of the future would be about a cou ple, the man a day-shifter and the woman a night-shifter, torn between two worlds, their love separated by chronal fluke. And they’ve have a grumpy old landlord. Sandra Bullock would proba bly star in it. Most importantly, more things would get done. Our planet would be at work at all hours of the day. Somebody else could mow the rabbi’s lawn, and I could spend the day dreaming about whatever I want, Twinkies or otherwise. And I could finally get to do ing my laundry, which is slowly turning my bed into a mountain of filth bigger and filthier than most pro fessional wrestlers. But that’s just a dream. Most like ly I’ll be spending the night on the floor again, wide awake and sorting through my plans and appoint ments for the rest of the week in my head. But I won’t be sleeping or dreaming in the dull hours of the night. Busy people don’t have time to dream. Juan Loya is a senior journalism major. BEAT THE CLOCK Mondays 6-8pm The Time You Call Is The Price You Pay!!!! College Station r 7a 70 r7 0 o4b-ob(J(J ( l Cj l Cj Open till 2 a.m. Thursday 3 a.m. Friday & Saturday Bryan 268-7272 Texas A&M Pre-Law Society Meeting with Aggie Bar Association February 8 th at 7 p.m. Ill Koldus VICTOR’S Quality Mens & Ladies Boot & Shoe Repair Custom Hand Made Aggie Senior Boots No Waiting List Necessary - Order at your convenience Class of 2001 - order now! It’s not too late! Established Dehner Dealer Since 1970 • FREE Taps with free replacement ( s 25 value) • Regular Delivery 3-4 months • Best warranty in B/CS • $2.00 Metal Taps (on low quarters) ^tV///Z.£ YOU WAIT • $2.00 Plastic Name Tags | service • $6.50 Reblocking Campaign Hats (1-2 day service) $ 822 70 La L4 % t \J including tax & deposit 3601 Texas Ave. ( at Dunn), Bryan 1 mile north of Texas Ave. & University Dr. Intersection Serving Aggie’s Since 1966 Hours Mon.-Fri. 8-6:30 Sat. 9-3 846-4114 PROFITABLE NUMBER! 845-0569 The Battalion CLASSIFIEDS Be on your way to an “A” • Organized, detailed, typed notes • Done by top students in class - Fast quality service - Semester packs, exam packs, and daily notes HOW DOES IT WORK? Top students in selected classes take notes which are then typed and available for you to pick up the NEXT DAY! You may pick up the notes whenever you wish - daily, weekly, or before exams - whenever. ACCT 209.501 ACCT 405.501-504 ANTH 201.501 ANTH 202.500 ANTH 205.505 ANTH 301.500 ANTH 317.500 BIOL 113.503 BIOL 114.503 CHEM 227.502,504-505 CHEM 228.507-508 EC0N 202.505-506 ECON 202.508 ECON 203.504-505 ECON 322.501-502 ECON 324.501-502 ECON 324.501-502 FINC 201.501-504 FINC 341.501-503 GENE 301.509-511 GEOG 201.501 GEOG 203.507-522 GEOG 301.501 GEOG 305.500 GEOG 323.500 GEOL 101.519-527 GEOL101.528-536 HIST 105.503 HIST 106.501 HIST 106.503-504 HIST 106.511 HIST 106.513 INFO 364.502-503 INFO 364.504 JOUR 102.501 JOUR 301.500 LING 209.500 MGMT 105.500 MGMT 211.501-502 MGMT 211.503-504 MGMT 212.503-504 MGMT 363.501-502 MGMT 363.503 MICR 351.501-510 MKTG 321.501-502 MKTG 322.505-506 MKTG 347.501-502 POLS 206.502 POLS 206.506-507 POLS 207.501,503 POLS 207.504-505 POLS 207.507,509 POLS 207.508 POLS 207.510-511 PSYC 305.503 PSYC 307.501-502 RDNG 351.500 RENR 205.501-502 SCOM 327.500 SOCI 205.503,506 SOCI 316.501-502 THAR 101.500 VAPH 305.501-502 VAPH 404.500 VTPB 409.501 ZOOL 107.501-509 ZOOL 320.501-511 694-9403 707 Texas Ave., 222D (Next to Barnes & Noble) Name E-mail Address. Local Address _ Phone # IHUfStl With Dr. J. Malon Southerland Vice President for Student Affairs Luncheons are.held in the Memorial Student Center during the noon hour. There will be open-ended informal discussion with the opportunity to ask questions This is a great chance to interact with other students/faculty/staff and share your experiences at Texas A&M. Fresh/Upper/Grad/Transfer/Faculty/staff (circle one) Return Forms to : Vice President for Student Affairs Office 10th Floor Rudder Tower E-mail: malons@tamu.edu Phone # : 845-4728 DONATE MAROON 1 Red Crcfss AN AGGIE TRADITION 1876-2000 FEBRUARY 7-11, 2000 Rudder Fountain Bio/Bio Building 10:00-5:00 10:00-4:00 Duncan Commons 10:00-5:00 11:00-6:00 Blocker Rec Center 10:00-4:00 3:00- 9:00 Vet Med School Zachry 9:00 - 4:00 10:00-4:00 aTi UtoriTlfr- 725B University Drive TICKETS GO ON SALE SUNDAY 5PM SUN Feb 6 MON Feb 7 TUES Feb 8 WED Feb 9 6-9 PM RHYS 208 Ch 22,23 5-7 PM RHYS 208 Ch 24 5-7 PM RHYS 208 Test Review 4-7 PM CHEM 102 Thermo CH 15 9-MID RHYS 218 Ch 34,35 7-9PM RHYS 218 Ch 1,2 7-9PM RHYS 218 Test Review 7-10 PM CHEM 102 Thermo CH 15 9-MID CHEM 107 Ch 1,2,3 9-MID CHEM 107 Ch 4,5 10-MID 7 CHEM 107 Test Review Dr Brown THUR Feb 10 4-7 PM CHEM 102 Kinetics CH 16 Test 7-10 PM CHEM 102 Kinetics CH 16 Test CHEM 228 Ch 14 4-6 PM CHEM 102 Test #1 Math 131 Math 131 Math 142 Part I Math 142 Part II 6-8 PM MATH 141 Review #1 MATH 141 Review #2 MATH 141 Review #3 MATH 141 Review #4 MATH 141 Review #5 8-10 PM CHEM 228 Ch 16 CHEM 228 Ch 17 CHEM 228 Test #1 Pennington CHEM 102 Ch 17 CHEM 102 Test #1 10PM MID Phys 201 Ch.4 Phys 201 Test #1 Phys 201 Test #2 6-8 PM Gene 301 Review I Gene 301 Review II Gene 301 Test 1 Gene 301 Test 2 Gene 301 Test 3 8-10 PM CHEM 227 Test 1 CHEM 227 Test 2 Math 152 Review I Math 152 Review 2 Math 152 Review 3 10PM MID CHEM 238 LAB CHEM 237 LAB Gene 320 Review I Gene 320 Review 2 Gene 320 Review 3