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The Battalion
Aggielife
Page 3 • Monday, November 1, 1999
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HOW
TO DO
STUFF
BETTER
Part 1 of 5
Today’s Lesson: |
r>e suave, always
Avoid embarrassing yourself in public — Let us help you out.
BY MELISSA PANTANO
The Battalion
A s the semester rapidly approaches its close, it is
apparent some of you just don’t get it. We all
like to think of ourselves as cool, calm, collect
ed and super-suave, but the truth is a gross majority
of us are not much better than the stumbling, drool
ing high-school kid who cut you off in traffic last week
while driving his mother’s minivan. Fear not, socially
inept ones — help is on the way. Here are a few sim
ple tips to help anyone get through the social trials and
tribulations of college life.
a P
Always assume they have caller
' w ID on their phone
The Situation: You go out on a date with a great
girl. After you drop her off at her house, you drive
home. When you get home, you can’t stop thinking
about her, so you call her. No answer. So you sit and
have a couple of beers with the guys. Once you get a
little tipsy, you think you’ll call again, just to make sure
she made it the 10 feet from her door to her bedroom.
No answer, so you call again — at 4 a.m.
How to be suave: With caller-ID being so afford
able these days, it’s always safe to assume the lady in
question has the service. Never call more than two
times a day without good reason unless you are play
ing phone tag. This is the easiest way to scare off a girl
before you even get to know her.
Shelley Klotz, a senior psychology major, knows the
annoying nature of a persistent tele-Romeo.
“I went out with this guy once,” she said. “He
called like 15 times the next day and then hung up
each time.”
Klotz said his unsuave antics killed the relationship
before it even started.
“1 wasn’t sure if I was interested,” she said. “But
after he called 15 times, I feared that he was becom
ing a psycho stalker. ”
Women have facial features as well
you stop and talk for a while. To your dismay, you find
yourself picking his chin out of your cleavage and wip
ing the saliva dripping from his mouth as he attempts
to have an intelligent conversation.
How to be suave: Although some girls do not mind
the attention, most find it really annoying to be seen
solely as sexual objects. Contrary to popular belief,
some chicks do have features above the collarbone.
Surprisingly to some, not all guys are pigs. Some
stare about six inches too low without even noticing
what they are doing.
Chad Steitle, a senior biomedical engineering ma
jor, said some guys are just shy — not perverted.
"A lot of guys have trouble looking people in the
face, especially pretty girls,” he said.
Steitle said sometimes testosterone just takes over.
“Some of it is hormones, but some guys are just re
ally shy,” he said.
Margaret Griffith, health education coordinator at
the A.P. Beutel Health Center, said not all males are
drooling heathens.
“Not all guys do that,” she said. “Some are very
Sensitive to the way girls feel about it.”
Griffith said guys who stare on purpose are not im
pressing anyone.
“If there’s a feature that stands out about that per
son, that’s the one that your eyes are going to be
drawn to,” she said. “But some guys who do it inten
tionally to impress their friends need to know that girls
really hate it.”
in
won
•\7' as d
osoms
The Situation: You are at a party with your girl
friends when you see this really cute guy from across
the keg. You catch his eye on the way to the potty, so
Only meatheads set involved i
V bar brawls
The Situation: You are sitting at The Chicken with
your buds when a big, drunken redneck trips over
your foot and spills his pitcher of beer all over him
self. He turns around, his eyes red, as he explains he
had to pawn his tractor to buy the pitcher. As his mas
sive overall-clad body stands over you, you must de
cide whether to fight and die at the hands of this mer
ciless animal or flee and live.
How to be suave: Ok, so we’ve all heard the line,
“The bigger man walks away,” but the truth is noth
ing is more important to the typical male than his
sense of pride.
Lorna Breault, coordinator of first-year student al
cohol education for the Department of Student Life al
cohol- and drug-education programs, said pride
should not take precedence over responsibility.
“It’s just not worth the risk,” she said. “There is a
risk of being arrested, jail time and of physical harm.”
Breault said the financial risk alone should be
enough to hinder fighting words.
“Who wants to spend all of this time and money
going to college to mess it up?” she said. “If you get
arrested, you could go to jail and have that on your
record, which could keep you from getting a job.
Also, there is the cost of being in jail, bail and the
possibility of being sued by the other person or the
bar owner.”
Don’t pay with gift certificates
The Situation: You are out on a date with a cute
guy from one of your classes. You meet at a popular
chain restaurant for a great dinner. Things are going
well until the check comes. He picks it up, looks at it
and reaches for his wallet. You offer to pay (any chick
worth her salt would), but he nods and says, “No, I’ve
got this one.” Suddenly, all of the violins in the back
ground come to a screeching halt as he pulls out a pre
paid gift card, waves it in your face and says with a
drawl he hasn’t had all night, “I wouldn’t have taken
ya to this nice, fancy place if I didn’t have this.”
How to be suave: Everyone understands college fi
nances. Not everyone has an unending money tree
(Mommy and Daddy) to pay for everything. But come
on, kids — show a little class. Don’t do more than you
can afford. If Taco Bell is all that your job will allow
you to buy, so be it. Don’t cheapen the date and make
the other person feel uncomfortable by using Aunt Fri-
ta’s Christmas gift.
Brandi Leggett, a senior recreation, parks and
tourism sciences major, said paying with a gift card
does not make a difference to her as long as the guy
shows a little class.
“It doesn’t matter to me if he pays with gift certifi
cates,” she said. “But if he made a big deal about it
and said something, I think I might be creeped out.”
One does not need to be a British secret agent to be
ultra-cool in any situation. Just remember — canned
soda is best neither shaken nor stirred.
II
ATTENTION BBA AND MBA STUDENTS
Honor" Society
Isssf
a
Billion-Dollar Fort Worth Hedge Fund is coming to campus!
WANTED:
BBA
MBA
Junior Analyst
Assistant Portfolio Manager
Junior Trader
European Arbitrage Analyst
Junior Accountant
Q
Interested Candidates are Invited to Attend
an Information Session on Q Investments
November 3 rd , 5:30-6:45 p.m. in 302 Rudder
Resumes and cover letters to campusrecruiting@acmewidget.com
Minimum GPA 3.5, SAT >1200
Q Investments is an equal opportunity employer
Q