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GGIELIFE
Page 3 • Monday, October 11,1999
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tudents speak out about failed friendships, what constitutes a true friendship
BY JEFF WOLFSHOHL
The Battalion
good friend is a friend until the end, or so the
saying goes. But when friendship takes a turn
for the worse, people end up getting burned.
Kristen Pickar, a sophomore environmental de-
n major, said she first experienced the loss of a
?nd during her freshman year of college.
met a girl at Fish Camp,” Pickar said. “She was
pod friend then, but things changed
en school started. She said she’d
eto come to a party that I invited her
but she didn’t show up. I guess she
it had other priorities.”
Pickar said she was close friends with the girl in
high school who became more concerned with be
ing liked by everyone than staying true to her
friends.
“She was strong in morals, but when she talked
with someone and they said something that was
against her morals, she told them she agreed with
them,” Pickar said. “She would mold herself into her
surroundings.”
Pickar said she was not the only one to recog
nize the hypocritical nature
of her friend.
“A large group of friends
thought the same [about
her], but they had come to ac
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cept that that is how she was,” Pickar said. “And I
accepted it, too, but I couldn’t hang out with her be
cause it would drive me crazy.”
C’Ella Clayton, a senior agricultural economics
major, said a person’s freshman year is all about
finding oneself, so friendships forged during one’s
first year at A&M are likely to change when those in
volved change their outlooks on life.
“The friends at that time also haven’t found
themselves, and because of that the friendships fall
apart and won’t last,” Clayton said.
Clayton said her own experiences with not-so-
friendly friends validate her theory.
“I had a group of friends my freshman year that
hung out together, but everyone ended up going
their separate ways,” Clayton said. “One wanted to
join a sorority, and one wanted to party all the time,
so everyone found another group of their own
friends.”
Clayton said an effort was made to keep the orig
inal group together.
“They [the group] tried [to stay together], but it
didn’t work out because everyone had to do their
own thing,” Clayton said.
She said there is always a feeling of sadness when
one loses a good friend.
“I didn’t think it would happen at first,” Clayton
said. “I always thought these were the friends I
would have the rest of my life.”
Ryan Nixon, a sophomore petroleum engineering
major, said membership in an elite organization can
drive friends apart.
“He [friend] joined the Parson’s Mounted Caval
ry, then seemed like he was too good for me and
some of my friends,” Nixon said. “He was trying to
kiss up to the upperclassmen in the Cavalry.”
Nixon said he and his friends have not hung out
with his estranged acquaintance this year.
“He is not someone who will do anything for you,
which is what a friend should do,” he said.
Nixon said because he and his former friend are
in the same Corps of Cadets outfit, the two still see
each other.
“When he is around he does act like it’s all cool,”
he said. “He always tries to be the guy to hang
around with, [and] I’ll just agree with him so he will
just go his own way.”
Nixon said the situation helped him understand
the true nature of friendship.
“On his part it seemed superficial, like there was
no relationship [in the first place],” Nixon said.
There are also friendships that break up because
of underhanded significant others.
Shelley Pryor, a sophomore education major, said
one of her acquaintances had a falling out with a
friend due to boyfriend issues.
“It was over a guy,” Pryor said. “Her friend had
slept with her boyfriend.”
Pryor said the boyfriend ended up leaving, which
left behind a scar in the women’s friendship.
“A guy should not come between a friendship,”
Pryor said. “Guys come and go, but friends will al
ways be there.”
Pryor said jealousy is a common cause of de
stroyed friendships, but there are some things
stronger than jealousy.
“If the friendship is strong enough you should
want to repair it, because friendship is one of the
most important things to have,” Pryor said. “A true
friend should always be there for you no matter
what.”
Gina Niehues, a senior genetics major, said
friendship problems are often trivial.
“I call that soap-opera stuff — like holding a grudge,
or getting overly upset about something small and
just dramatizing things,” she said.
Niehues said friends might not be able to under
stand each other’s perspectives.
“They [friends] will take things personally, and
they don’t realize that the other person didn’t mean
to be rude or insulting,” she said. “Instead of talk
ing it out, some friends just flip out.”
Niehues said it is better to look on the bright side
of things to keep the friends one has, than constantly
replacing them.
“If there’s a problem, I always look on the better
side, as if there’s not such a problem,” she said. “I
would [hope] that everyone tries to smooth over
rough spots in friendships, because otherwise you
will have a trail of failed relationships behind you.”
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