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Page 5 » Tuesday, September 21,1999
!an m«IBC’s racial slur
SaSpngers Hispanics
. .I LOS ANGELES (AP) — View-
»ll| tflrs taking part in this week’s His-
P An | anic boycott of major broadcast
c ™'Betworks, dubbed a “brownout,”
'arte B re P rotest >ng the new season’s
^Ickof minority characters.
rthrlauhnB ^* iat means they’ll miss
- ^ Jonight’s premiere of “Will &
race” on NBC, for which they
light be grateful.
In a scene that plays with star
ing insensitivity, tart-tongued
haracter Karen Walker notices
hat her Salvadoran maid has
|aused for a conversation.
“Hey, you’re on the clock,
lamale. Get to work,” snaps
aren (Megan Mullally).
“Oh, no,” Federico Subervi, a
Jniversity of Texas media profes-
or, said after hearing the sitcom
xchange. “It’s an ethnic slur — I
on’t know what it is with these
criptwriters. What’s in their
eads?
“The writers and the network
xecutives, the ones who have
he final word, they don’t get it.
hey really do not get it. When
.atinos and others are saying in-
rease our numbers, it does not
lean increase our stereotypical
epresentations.”
The verbal sparring between
osario Salazar and her boss on
Will & Grace” is not a fair fight,
case of tit for tat. Rosario re
ponds to Karen’s very person-
barb with a weak “Listen,
ady, I’ll squash you like a
ormy apple. ”
Asked about the use of the
kvord “tamale,” which was in
cluded in a preview tape of the
episode distributed by NBC, se
ries executive producer David Ko-
han said a longer version of the
scene called Karen to task for her
ignorance. It was edited for time.
Although no offense was in
tended, he was not minimizing
anyone’s objections to the scene,
Kohan said.
Rosario and Karen have a
prickly but caring relationship,
one that which will be demon
strated in the future, he added.
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Inflated sense of self an important trait for newscasters to showcase
JACOB
HUVAL
Romeo thought
his love was dead.
Thomas Edward
Dewey believed
he had defeated
Truman for the
presidency. And
John Bobbitt lost
face. These three
men learned valu
able lessons the hard way. Had they
been properly informed of the world
around them, however, they would
have been spared death, disap
pointment and detachment.
To successfully compete or even
survive in a society that is constant
ly on the move, one must be ade
quately informed of fast-breaking de
velopments. Hence, the friendly local
television news serves the bumbling
masses. Local television news pro
grams are designed to:
1) Inform the public of significant
events and developments that are
global and local in scope 2) deliver
news in a coherent manner, avoiding
technical errors and repetitiveness 3)
foster the news anchorperson’s insa
tiable vanity 4) deliver news in a co
herent manner, avoiding technical er
rors and repetitiveness.
I know what you’re thinking —
“Foster? Insatiable? Vanity? Where do
these words fit in with my local news
crew? And how buff you are, Mr. Hu-
val! May I wash your car?” To that
comes the reply, “Local news an
chorperson’s do, in fact, harbor a
tremendous ego that is only inflated
by appearing thrice a day on televi
sion. You may scrub the fenders, peasant.”
Local anchors undergo extensive training
and learn to nurture and flaunt their vainglo
ry. Triue, we all know many people who do
just that and who are not at all news anchors.
But what makes anchors special is their abil
ity to glorify themselves in the precious few
minutes they are on camera. They must har
ness the skill of sneaking in subtle references
to self and masking the vanity behind a vari
ety of news stories.
A / *
mm V
ERIC ANDRAOS/The Battalion
For example: “Unfortunately, their star
pitcher was cut. And coincidentally, Mike, I
got a haircut!”
“The space shuttle rocketed upward just
like my career!”
And, “Speaking of Jimmy Carter, I think
1 like ham!”
If there is one thing local news anchors
hate the most, it is being mistaken for some
one else in public, or simply not being recog
nized at all. As a service to these brave men
and women, here are just a few indications
that the person gloating next to you is a local
news anchor: their cleft is bigger than their
forehead, they wear sports jackets with
shorts, they drive cars with mirrors on both
sides of the visor, they laugh too hard at their
own jokes and so on.
In step with vanity is the second of the two
main ingredients of the hearty stew of local
news: sentimentality. Not only must the an
chor endlessly promote themselves, they must
also express the appropriate emotions for
whatever news story they happen to be read
ing. Anchors will affix happy expressions
when dealing with happy stories and head
lines like “Scientist backs into hemorrhoid
cure,” and “Students excel on exams; speak
ing of which, my physical went great!” And
conversely, anchors will put on their sad faces
for sad stories such as “Doggy ran over on
highway,” and “Businesses petition to keep
strip club out of community. ”
It is a well-known fact that most local news
anchors would love to have the opportunity to
be a national news anchor. This, in their eyes,
is true stardom. Like the swampland leech, na
tional news anchors start from the bottom and
work their way up. Reputable anchorpersons
like Mike Wallace, Barbara Walters and Wal
ter Cronkite, after having spent years perfect
ing the ability to spout vanity, are reaping the
benefits of fame. The king of them all, Dan
Rather, is an idol to local news anchors. He is
the founder of vocal sentimentality — which
makes one sound sincere.
“The storm...left them...without...a home.”
The minute pauses in speech create emotion
al and engaging gaps, drawing listeners into
the story.
There is a hefty price to pay for this easy
shot at fame, however. After shamelessly pro
moting oneself and feignipg emotion for
weeks on end, it is not unusual for workplace
conduct to permeate into the anchor’s per
sonal life.
This makes the anchor’s life difficult. With
out rehearsal time to prepare subtle comments
about oneself, anchors struggle and flounder
to sell themselves. Simple conversation be
comes a trial while mere observations are cou
pled with overstated sentimentality.
Me: “Did you know that sweatshops were
found in Vietnam?”
Anchor: “Speaking of which, look at this
neat wallet! Its an import!”
Me: “Want to grab some lunch?”
Anchor: “Mexican food...gives me...gas.”
Jacob Huval is a
sophomore English major.
21
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