Battalion
ke Battalion
O PINION
Page 5 • Monday, May 31,1999
ong ago, in a ticket line far, far away...
Iscapism in newest installment of legendary space trilogy satisfies hopes of zealous fans
CHRIS
HUFFINES
A t least
some
people
Bve their pri-
* unties
■aight.
At a music
' >hi>p appear-
«:e in Dallas
:hi past
■nth, the
He to meet
HgHky Martin was longer than
line for Star Wars: The Phan-
Hn Menace.
■ The first of George Lucas’
*"WBquels drew old fans and a
/oi nger generation into that mi-
-i atthfi ei a long time ago and far, far
reached ■ay. But was the hype, the reli-
gus furor that surrounded
HHs-ode /, really worth it?
:;A gro adequately answer that
Cjiipstion, the population of the
r^pPgrld needs to be divided into
|HHr groups.
rijjfMgnie first group are those who
y^pHlly don’t know about Star
■Hrs.
f the tot I iTo achieve this feat in the
day ... aodern world, they have either
ith agre;Hn living in a vegetative state,
lemeda iel (-stripping their AK-47s or
IlH'ng bombed by NATO for the
his se^ ast few months,
tord, wj&he second group are those
> it to fvho could care less about Star
jumameVqrs. These are normal people,
it in 199. : 'o|them, the brouhaha around
great seJa 1 Phantom Menace was really
s a leaddst an annoyance.
I. "Wee;-. |t was the commercials, the
and beg'3|fic around the movie theater,
le omnipresent gushing of
HHks around the office or the
ihining of their children. After a
/bile, this group of people was
C| t^rertainly a bit annoyed.
CULuHlowever, both of the above
, ~ „ gjps can be thrown out of the
1 Dallas
•'^ iere Wifter all, they did not partake
lan ub e re iigi on> so n would not
ii'lkmr lean anything nor would it be
‘ 11S '' 'onh it to them.
7 O | g0 uM he t ^' rc ^ g rou P is niade up of
ily had 10se people who genuinely like
is previof
Star Wars but are not obsessed
with it. This is the remainder of
the normal people.
For them, yes, “Star Wars:
The Religious Experience” was
worth it.
Despite a few rough spots in
the film itself, and the glut of
toys unfortunate parents will be
forced to contend with. The
Phantom Menace was an enter
taining film that recaptured the
magic of Star Wars.
It was worth the price of ad
mission, and it was a good
movie. As Lucas set out to do,
he made an ultimate popcorn
flick.
The hype and the excitement
did. not detract from the movie.
In fact, they may have added to
the experience.
But for the fourth group,
those individuals who can best
be represented by the readers of
this column who, upon realizing
it was about Star Wars, ran
home to put on their Darth Vad-
er mask, this film was not worth
it.
These are the people who
dressed up like Princess Leia,
Queen Amidala or Darth Maul.
These are the people who
were dueling with toy
lightsabres in line for the movie,
the people who waited in line
for tickets for more than a day.
These are the people whose
pictures were in the newspaper,
with normal people (the third
group) in the background look
ing embarrassed for them and
their parents.
These people are the zealots.
Star Wars has become a cul
tural icon, that much is sure. But
it has also become a religion for
many fans, and expectations
have become what the movie
was judged by, not its merits.
In all honesty, short of God
himself taking the director’s *
chair, no movie could have lived
up to the hype.
And nothing will ever live up
to the expectations of its zealots.
?t+ '■
The problem with Star Wars
is that slowly, the majority of the
population is migrating to the
zealot category.
This is a bad thing because
Star Wars, aside from being
make-believe, is just a popcorn
movie. It is escapism at its best.
Blue-collar America is repre
sented by Han Solo.
Princess Leia and Qui-Gon Jin
are government workers — they
are the bureaucrats.
Luke Skywalker is the basic
teenager. Why be failing algebra
when you can be a Jedi knight?
But escapism is not what is
needed. In the day and age in
which we live, the days of unde
clared wars and the age of infor
mation, the days of school
shootings and the age of litiga
tion, the days of “me” and the
age of “it’s not my fault,” es
JEFF SMITH/The Battalion
capism simply allows the zealots
to forget their problems and im
merse themselves in fantasy.
As the movie says, “I’ve got a
bad feeling about this.”
Chris Huffines is a senior
speech communications ma-
Cyberspace should not become
ew battlefield in Balkan war
ar is not noble. It never
has been. Not in Eu
rope, not in Asia and
BEVERLY
MIRELES
son.
game of
ensky’s se]
anchea:
Keane
ecause li
the net
ping. Tlt|
Brett Hi
’atrick R>
ITSlalj _
Paround finitely not in the Balkans.
1 g ame ' Vl The soldiers who fight to pro-
B, the relief organizations who
tempt to provide some aid to
y«*^e beleaguered, the ideologies
iiiiiehind the action — all of these
ree Activali# | lave an e | emen t Q f noble-
S S c> about them.
honessoi^ The act of war, though, is an atrocity.
■ |et, the word “war” unwittingly conjures up im-
of a good guy and a bad guy. The good guy is
yBays forthright and honest in battle, while the bad
ffliin iy is sneaky and without pride.
^ ea 3 S 0 °d guy and a bad guy, hero and
IltVDH’llain, is ludicrous.
However, for those who have never served in
tnbat, these themes are so instilled into the psyche
at one cannot help but assign these good and evil
dls. Perhaps that is why it seems strange for the
ited States military to participate in sneaky
artime sabotage attempts, training
bels to foul up the enemy’s gaso-
| reserves or to cut telephone
es. Sabotage attempts are not
‘W to the United States,
ough they are hardly as rec-
Jized as the efforts of
|ound troops and air-strikes.
the technology age, however,
i3i223ere is more than one way to get
1 the enemy.
As reported in a recent issue'of
high ene^ sw eek, new f orm makes the old
:ivating;it' s: ' a ys of sabotage seem like a punk kid putting sugar
orkoutwi'Ti someone’s gas tank, rather than a systematic at-
■ punches 1 mpt to disable an enemy’s supplies.
ited e w£^ ttle - cyberwar.
urself i n! tl n earl y May, as Clinton was debating, and tenta-
s to calve 5 ! ;v ely avoiding, the use of ground troops and more
j.YoulltC ringent air-strikes, national-security advisor Sandy
/hile buiMBe-er presented him with a top-secret plan to
asmgy° u j-$q ueeze [Serbian leader Slobodan] Milosevic.”
,u, stre „ S !.f- basically, the plan outlined the use of the CIA to
shapeW t x t - as h government hackers on Milosevic’s personal
vorkout ^\k accounts.
i< |jn other words, the United States would actively
rget those foreign banks that possibly hold some
Milosevic’s wealth. Clinton seemed to like the
lea, and issued a “finding” detailing the highly-
a f i . fied p 1 ™-
—' Is he crazy?
Technology has now unleashed the new. mode of
The old method of sabotage was one thing; often,
attempts to cut phone lines and blow up buildings
damage targets that cannot be hit in an air war and
undermine public support of an enemy leader.
But using National Security Agency hackers to fi
nancially cripple Milosevic is a whole new, and emi
nently dangerous, game.
By even considering this cyberwar, the United
States is trivializing diplomacy and opening the door
to attacks on our own precarious and technology-fu
eled banking system, not to mention throwing the
whole concept of legality out the window.
No one wants to see ground troops sent to Koso
vo. However, it is worse to strain ties between our
very necessary allies, especially when it seems that
peace negotiations are soon in-coming.
Once the true end of the cyber-operation gets out,
one that would only serve to drain the bank ac
counts of a mad man, it will be a tremendous slap in
the face to all the diplomats chipping away at the
barriers of peace.
U.S. leaders should note that though Milosevic is
in the reins right now, that does not mean he is
the only one in control.
Removing him from the situa
tion does not solve the problem,
it only sets up possible replace
ments. One man is rarely the
source for insatiable ethnic
hatred, and his “persecution”
by the United States might
serve as a catalyst for even
more violence.
What is even more frightening
than an increase in the violence in
the Balkans, at least to the American
public, is the idea that other countries would use
this cyberwar precedent (of sorts) to engage in a few
hacking activities of their own.
Terrorism of the financial kind would no doubt
send the whole public into a panic by pulling at our
most deep-seated fear — that we too, from the baby-
boomers to the twenty-somethings, will suffer the
indignities of another Great Depression.
At this moment, with peace negotiations ready to
cut through the violence and hatred of the Balkans,
it is too fool-hardy to risk a cyberwar against Milose
vic. Toying with the idea of technological sabotage
will only lead to a world of trouble.
The United States, policy is to not negotiate with
terrorists. Allowing our own government to act as
one would make a mockery of us all.
Beverly Mireles is a junior
microbiology major.
Racial profiling policies based
on false stereotypes, prejudices
B loomington, ind. (u-wire)— Dollar
Rent-A-Car should have known better — giv
ing the keys to the Irish is like imitating
bumper cars.
The idea may suit Six Flags over Dublin, but
there’s an element of risk here in the states.
Emergency crews are keenly aware of it — as
they use the jaws of life to get to that bothersome
stereo blasting the Cranberries, precious time is
lost in attempting to revive the lush who is be
come a part of the steering column.
Think that’s outrageous?
Well, it’s not much different from the rationale
that was used in a lawsuit filed in March.
Attorney John Stemberger claimed that Dollar
should have taken heritage into account before
setting up Sean McGrath with a Plymouth Neon.
“[Dollar] either knew or should have known
about the unique cultural and ethnic customs ex
isting in Ireland which involve the regular con
sumption of alcohol at ‘pubs’ as a major compo
nent to Irish social life,” Stemberger wrote in the
lawsuit.
“[Dollar] either knew
or should have known
that Sean McGrath
would have a high
propensity to drink alco
hol.”
Dollar is being sued
for negligence by the
family of Elizabeth Cun
ningham.
Cunningham was —■■■
killed in February 1998 when her boyfriend [Mc
Grath] had an accident while driving under the in
fluence.
After receiving a stream of complaints, Stem
berger recognized his “mistake.” He plans on refil
ing the lawsuit, removing the passages that rein
force the Irish stereotype.
Instead, he will unleash an attack on Dollar’s
driver education program, stating that an insuffi
cient effort is made to inform Irish drivers about
our driving conditions.
Dollar does, in fact, distribute brochures to
renters that detail driving regulations and allow in
ternational guests to acclimate properly.
If an Irishman is driving on the left side of the
road, it’s not because he’s going through a period
of adjustment — he’s probably wasted.
Now that some of the campus is enraged, obser
vations and various points can comfortably be
made.
“Somewhere along the way r
atrocious jokes forwarded to
our e-mail accounts become
confused with our way of life/'
Stereotypes can no longer be regarded as the
sole intellectual property of the hilariously unfun
ny Jeff Foxworthy/Chris Rock/John Leguizamo tri
umvirate.
They are well into the implementation stage.
The U.S. Customs Service is currently under fire
for “racial profiling” or targeting minorities in its
effort to curb the drug trade.
Rep. John Lewis, D-Ga., said 43 percent of
those stopped by U.S. Customs in 1998 were black
or hispanic.
He also shared another glaring statistic about
customs’ operations — black women are 20 times
more likely to face body searches than white
women.
It doesn’t stop there — a California housing de
velopment, Fairway Oaks, has followed in the
grand tradition of discriminating on the basis of
occupation. Burlington Homes has a no lawyer
policy, and yep, you guessed it — a lawyer was de
nied residence and sued them as a result.
“Not all discrimination is illegal,” said Eugene
Volokh, a law professor at UCLA.
“Lots of discrimination
is the essence of daily
life, of daily business
judgment.”
Perhaps there’s some
logic to it — lawyers are
lampreys infesting the
waters of Lake Michigan,
slapping their neighbors
with frivolous litigation;
111 the Irish are great for bar
becues, soccer and U2 sing-alongs but unfit for
any trade requiring balance and unslurred speech;
some folks just have that cocaine in a body cavity
look about them.
Actually, people who think in such a way
should be pitied.
Somewhere along the way, atrocious jokes for
warded to our e-mail accounts became confused
with our way of life; the story of the Italian, the
Mexican and the Spaniard carrying a moral that
would guide public policy.
And the sad part is that those in the aforemen
tioned cases are incapable of change.
The characters in our tragedy will never be able
to screw in that light bulb.
Jeff Meredith is a columnist
for Indiana University’s Indiana Daily Student.