Page 6 • Tuesday, May 4, 1999
ALLSPACE SELF STORAGE
Students
Need a place to store your summer belongings?
Give ALLSPACE SELF STORAGE a call!
• $ 10 off first month’s rent w/this ad
• Call about our early sign in specials that will save you a ton of
money and worries before Finals!!
821-2129
1920 S. FM 2818 • Bryan, TX (1/2 mile north of Villa Maria)
SIZES TO 1VI E E T YOUR NEEDS -
*Wtexcc&*t s4ePiencc<M,
Talent Show
& Awards Ceremony
Tuesday, May 4, 1999
Rudder Theatre
7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
ceCe&uztcott'f
^4*
; 2 Admission
^ c °'-
Persons with disabilities please call 845-1515 to inform us of your special needs. We request noti
fication three (3) working days prior to the event to enable us to assist you to the best our abilities.
Special $5 Menu and $1 Margaritas Everyday!
We've cooked up a specially-priced party menu for Cinco de Mayo which
includes our most popular items like Fajita Quesadillas, Dinner Cancun
and our larger-than-life Triple Combo Enchilada Dinner.
O • 19 full-size meals priced under $5.
• 5 hours of $1 Margaritas (2-7pm) everyday.
• Kids meals under $2.50! Games, prizes and more!
Come as many times as you like, but get here before May 5th!
Post Oak Mall and
3201 Freedom Blvd. @ Briarcrest
Great food.
Great prices.
A
GGIELIFE
The I
^ JACOB'S LADDER
In a galaxy far, far away.,
The date has been set, the tickets are being bought
and fans are lining up because Star Wars is comhl
Jacob
HUVAL
A long time
ago,in a
galaxy
far, far away,
on a round,
round planet,
near Los, Los
Angeles, dur
ing a warm,
warm Monday,
within a
trendy, trendy club, while enjoying
a double, double fresh stick of
gum, a lone, lone man made his
day debut as the sole soul brother
to a many, many — [Note: At this
point a more generous amount of
tranquilizer has been administered
into Mr. Huval’s beverage. We
apologize for any inconvenience.]
Ah, yes, the new Star Wars Tril
ogy. The long-awaited aftermath
which occurs before the original, a
revival of rebellion rooters and
Wookie-groomers, an intergalactic
epic, a starry saga, a box-office
boon.
Many anticipate the release. The
country has not witnessed such
an expectant craze since
the mid-’60s when The
Beatles toured
North America,
the late ’90s
when Mark
the Story.
Speaking of merchandise, the
Star Trilogy studio executives
are aglow in anticipation of the re
lease of new Star Wars merchan
dise.
One promising item is the "Lu-
casbuilt Money Vacuum,’” simply
aim the nozzle into one’s purse or
wallet, turn it on and mail the con
tents to George Lucas.
Kids will find endless entertain
ment while developing mystical
skills with the new “Jedt-TTainer
Target.”
In order to avoid falling into the
hands of evil, the Jedi-TTainer Tar
get has been cleverly shaped,
painted and stitched to replicate
the modern soccer ball. This dandy
will help hone skills needed to save
the universe; it costs only $80.
But what even the countless de
voted fans of 5far Wars do not real
ize is that the '‘original” Star Wars
was not the original at all! No, the
Now that the followingforj
inceptive Star Wars has blos-J
somed into an insatiable era
for new releases, actors ands
cial effects, many nostalgicii
have come to ponder theivli
abouts of the original stars.
Of course, the current st|
of Mark Hamill, Carrie Fishi
and Harrison Ford are well
known; but only few know:
fate of the silver screen’sfej
stars.
The lovable yet wanton li
n\ Chewbacca, has taken te.
mg himself out as a chamoisa
vvhi'ii he is not touring with/
Top.
During his free time, hee T
nabbing a "pic-a-nic” basketa
two. The original C-3P0bas
found steady work as choreoa
pher for the Corps of t'adets,
Inlo K.’ D2 has found come
ment as a blender.
And what of The Empera
embodiment of all in theun
that is evil, foul, anddevio
l ie is busy at work foil
Battalion.
Althoughj
profits aree
pectedt
“out oil
McGwire set a
record for home
run hits, or since the
early ’80s, when, during
a touching episode of “ALF”
ALF contracted mange.
The new trilogy has sparked an
increasingly curious ritual among
eager movie-goers.
Potential patrons of the films
have already formed lines for ticket
sales: a case of extreme advance.
Once witnessed, one should be
careful not to confuse the line to
the new Star Wars release with the
lines for the new Deliverance se
quel.
Audience members and mer
chandise corporations alike have
fallen victim to this misunderstand
ing.
While disappointed audiences
grumble about not seeing Ned
Beatty as an anal-probing droid,
corporations are complaining of
having wasted money on needless
rafting and hillbilly merchandise,
including banjos, corncob pipes,
and Bill Clinton’s book. My Side of
RUBEN DELUNA/Tm Battai ion
. aracters, names and situations
the world has come to love were in
het somewhat different when first
conceived.
For instance, the character C-
4PO was originally a blue Cadillac
with license plates “C3P-IMP. ” The
shaggy mass of flooring known as
Chewbacca was initially a less
hairy, more eloquent — yet vio
lently tempered — Regis Philbin.
At conception, Star War’s plot,
which was predicted to make a ti
tanic amount of money, was sum
marized as a titanic romantic
tragedy aimed at teens which fol
lowed the titanic experiences of a
young couple who were in love in
a titanic way but were doomed to a
titanic fate aboard a titanic boat.
The movie was originally called
The Big, Big Ship.
world," til:
new Star Wc
release will not
without box-office
petitors.
Other studios are prepan:
slew of romantic comedies.ti!
of which star Hugh Granting
parture role as a decent gentle
man.
The only coming attraction
shows box office promiseisai
an inspector with numerousp
gets, gadgets with which this:
spector inspects various crinu
clues and gadgets which only
inspector, an inspector withg:
gets, could inspect. It is calleii
Man Who Drove a Lincoln.
So, as summer rolls around
not forget to wear pants, drive
sponsibly, eat cheese, pay ho®
to the world’s 11 th-best humo
columnist and visit the movie:
least once, where you may see
some of his work.
Jacob Huva
freshman English n
— . i M
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