THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS AT ARLINGTON
announces a new
Maymester Term
Texas A&M students in the Dallas/Fort Worth area May 17 - June 4
can complete 1 three hour course in this concentrated time period.
Credits can then be transferred back to Texas A&M. The admission
process has been streamlined for visiting students. Call (817) 272-
MAVS for information (e-mail: admissions@uta.edu) and a course
schedule.
^Tr
MSC EXECUTIVE LECTURE SERIES
presents
Dr. Mark Williams
Vice President Transportation, Equilion Enterprises LLC
•Rhodes Scholar •Ph.D. Stanford *CEO Equilion Transportation
EQUIL.OIM
EfMTEnpRisee llc
The free presentation will take place:
April 7, 1999 -- 7:00 p.m. MSC Forsyth Center Qalleries
INSIGHTS ON SUCCESS
APPLICABLE TO ALL MAJORS
ATTENTION STUDENT ARTISTS:
V: 3’5.5” H: 15’5.5”
YOUR MURAL HERE
(Wgtt NOT HERE.
(N RUMOUR’S DEU/COFFEEHAUS)
Your creation may be one used in the soon-to-be renovated Rumour’s Deli
Interested?
Applications are available at tile MSC Forsyth Center Galleries and in the
MSC Student Programs Office. Entries will be accepted until
April 7, 7:30pm in the MSC Forsyth Center Galleries.
For more information contact the
MSC Visual Aits Committee 845-9251.
.V.i: i
Robert fetes
Former Director
Central Intelligence Agency
Anthony Lake
Former National Security Advisor
Clinton Administration
Cl
Sam Nunn
Former U-S. Senator
Chairman Armed Services Committee
April 9, 1999 • 8:00 p.m.
Rudder Auditorium
Jlk WILEY
11 E C T U R E
SERIES
Memorial Student Center
Tickets available at
the MSC Box Office
845-1234 or
trill free (888) 890-5667
V isit our web site at wiley. tamu. edu
for more information.
Charlie Rose, Moderator
Charlie Rose Show
A-
For more info or to inform us of
your needs call 845-7625
Page 4 • Monday, April 5, 1999
A
GGIELIFE
y JACOB'S LADDER
Early to Rise
Daylight-saving time causes more harm than§.
D aylight-
saving
time:
dubious, collu
sive concoc
tion or gooble-
snittle-pok?
Daylight-sav
ing time is
one of the
most con
founding phe-
ACOB
HUVAL
nomena of the modern world —
behind only the sinking of the Ti
tanic, the disappearance of Emilia
Earhardt and the sales of John
Tesh albums.
Several theories concerning the
origin of daylight-saving time
have recently surfaced. Some be
lieve it is a federal conspiracy, an
elaborate tool of government op
pression designed to create a na
tion of mindless zombies.
Others believe it is an annual
experiment conducted by aliens
from some far-away planet, test
ing human weaknesses and de
pendence on the concept of time.
And some believe Pauley Shore is
funny. All three theories are gross
ly incorrect.
Daylight-saving time was
birthed during the mid-’40s,
in the midst of World War
II, after years of research
and iab tests performed by
the celebrated Austrian sci
entist and theoretician Neil
“Big Tex” Einstein, Albert’s
younger brother.
Neil stumbled across his
now famous and nationally
observed theory of time
change and global ramifica
tions while conducting ex
periments for his previous
scientific study, published
as “Pantsing and the Hu
man Response.”
Neil’s findings went un
recognized in the scientific
community for another
decade, partly because of
the diversion of national at
tention to the war effort and
the birth of the nuclear age
— and partly because Neil
wrote his completed theory
on a cocktail napkin, which
he later used after eating a jelly
sandwich.
In a way, Neil “Big Tex" Ein
stein’s work suffered because of
daylight-saving time. And, in a
way, modern Americans’ work
suffers for the same reason.
A recent Gallup poll revealed
that 65 percent of Americans for
get about daylight-saving time
and therefore neglect to properly
adjust their schedules. Of those
65 percent of Americans who for
get about the time change, 14 per
cent care. And of that 14 percent,
only .001 percent “know when to
hold ’em, know when to fold ’em,
know when to walk away and
know when to run.”
There are scores of ways for
one to remember daylight-saving
time. The first was offered by "Big
Tex” himself, who, moments after
his discovery, tied a piece of
string around his neck.
This practice, no doubt, pro
vides an adequate reminder of the
time change, but has been criti
cized for causing a lack of oxygen
to the brain and promoting color
change in the face.
Neil’s older brother finally sug-
plass Of
ollin Ri
my To*
01 Vic"-
ourtne
ristin I-
gested that the string bed
ihc iingci. where it
ever since. Other waystc^V
her the time change invo Thomas E”
i nittoos, bodypieiti^Q^ y _
implants, so just file these
under “in case of emergen 2001 SOd
Many people have queE
concerning daylight-savin Ann© HOc=
such as "Where do all the 2001 His.
hours go?, "Why doesn£ ,
saving time occur whilel Class Of
ing to sleep?" and “IsiU pg^ ]A/cd
holiday?”
In answer to thesequerBce Pres
one hoi" non 00(1'? c or -
tiom April to Oct OCC_
to pm t\ till tall, whei t 2002 TrG<:
to work.
Daylight-saving timet
the middle of the night,i
is trying desperately to si
cause the world is evil,a
daylight-saving timeisn
lege holiday — but studf
the power to change tha
signed petitions, peacefc*
.inrt nnrrhASP nf “InTheLfH U(jyr
If Agncult
Jacob Huval is oft Christian
End
2002 Soc
*Katy Gil:
*James T
2002 His-
Jenny IV! a
and purchase of
season passes.
Stacie Fr€
Stacy Ho<
Brian JVlin
College ol
Brad Knol
College of
Phillip Drc
James Me
Railroa
ntinuedfr
or the Unifi
hey, in tur
ews media a
parties.
The statistit
innually by the
ustice.
ROBERT HYNECEKM
Zongre;
|VASHINCT<
■ericans ha'
ivien Kellems.
and each s
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|he same s
a* |ep her in mi:
^■UUi jieir income ta
ehems, wh
imminent
isswoman wl
ied Congress
On tAi 'j/hA
A I
30 package inclitf
pull-out shirt am
sweatshirt
te tax code si
riminate ag
dults. Singlep
ax disadvanta
les since 1948
, But when or
nkering with
ode, another
ase with the ‘
ow affecting
vho pay an ave
in if they hac
Congress isv
jposal to help
J, hoping to
lus to cover th
Kellems, o
n., was am;
s who foum
ierica with a
more reasons
you should take
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SESSION 1999A1
LOYOLA UNIVERSE
NEW ORLEANS
Reg isfrafion May 27 0 f -
All sessions LSTAR
I
Firs! 5-week session.
June 1
Second 5-week session....
July 5 - Aug'S'
8-week session (City)
June 1 - Alt
IvMb
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