e Battalion
o PINION
Page 11 • February 12, 1999
tod
{Signs, signs, everywhere signs
ally signs posted around A&M campus
nake Aggies appear ridiculous y mindless
JANIK^
moderate \
; — Olymp;:
ollinsot.Ma::
ise their deo
rer moderate
stepped fc r
to say dev.
on.
use to say it
s and soari ^ cattered across the
icense® Texas A^M campus,
ces whoac ^ there are scores of signs
ys, hesaic ainfc the obvious and mak-
:ig j ^guj es joo^
Students encounter hun-
; : ' eds of signs on campus
eryday, but has anyone
ueuk u er sl0 pp ec } to read some of Gunn
truly ignorant signs post-
he presic around A&M?
Take the Zachry Building for instance.
tutiondl >used in the lair of the Aggie engineers are
o ol the most outrageous signs in College
or revelation. First, in one of the first floor male
thrpoms, there is a sign reminding Aggies to,
"lease flush the toilet.”
Senateinac '^ at circumstances could have possibly war-
ited the creation of this sign? Are these Aggies
is in votin': enveloped in engineering that they need to be
oversy broke n * nt * e ^ t0 use ^ ie little handle? Hopefully this
u Clinton hj: n I s more of a joke than a necessity,
m House Re: Elsewhere in Zachry, there is a copy ma-
; in 2000. i ne wi th instructions reading “Please do not
deeply trc. at the machine.” Who in Aggieland needs a
it views c > n to tell them not to beat the Xerox? I feel
tional procet rr y lor the recent job recruiters at Zachry
y for revest 10 were given the impression that Aggies are
ader TentL 'Pid, thanks to these silly signs.
' Housesp - Moving across campus, the Bright Building
t did not den; nslhe award for the best bathroom sign. In
ut said, “1 at econd-story lavatory there is actually a sign
nore dumb si pressly prohibiting “Washing Dishes In the
ifter people ik.” First, who brings dishes to campus, and
they were a 'ond, what other object in the bathroom
lot." Duld be used to wash dishes?
After seeing the proliferation of dumb signs
campus, the PTTS must have felt compelled
^^get in on the action. Anyone recently riding
’-y y
* A Ami i? buses 0 n campus will notice a new sign on
? b us instructing Aggies to call “[PTTS] or
’it or Website.”
It looks like the geniuses at Bus Operations
got “our” is really spelled with two vowels,
their credit, some bus drivers have covered
1 the error on the sign, but the masking tape
ly Bukes the mistake more obvious, hilari-
s and humiliating.
Nearly every classroom has signs chiding
idents not to have food or drinks in the
)m, but the signs at the Bush School are the
st.lnstead of simply saying “No Food or
ink,” the Dan Quayle contingency at the
lool added the phrase, “In consideration of
tl Uo u re Aggies, please no food or drink.”
Ill nClll'i guess the political science students are so
grant with their Cokes and candy that they
need an extra reason to follow the rules. At
least the sign does not say “For the sake of the
children no food or drink.”
The official campus redneck sign can be
found at Research Park. Posted prominently
around the ponds there are signs insisting Aggies
neither “Fish, Swim, or Wade” in the pools. I
hope this sign was a pro-active measure. Was
there actually a time at A&M where Research
Park was a swimmin’ and fishin’ hole?
On second thought, for students from the
backwoods parts of east Texas, every scum
pond is not only a source of food, but the per
fect relief on hot summer day. Perhaps this
sign really is necessary.
Despite these ludicrous examples, not all
signs on campus are valueless. Signs telling
students to “Keep off the grass” and “For your
safety, please stand away from tracks while
train is present” are actually useful.
The signs posted by the Aggie Social De
mocrats are always good for a laugh. And the
Pro-Bonfire-Replant-Hazing signs let Aggies
know the ideology of the dorm residents on
campus.
"Hundreds of prospective
students and employers vis
it our campus every week If
they see Aggies need to be
reminded to flush the toilet
... what will they think?”
However, it is time to tear down the ridicu
lous signs posted around the University. Hun
dreds of prospective students and employers
visit our campus every week. If they see Aggies
need to be reminded to flush the toilet and
about copy machine etiquette, what will think
of our system of education?
It is time for Aggies to take a stand. Perhaps
the leadership gurus in Student Government
should form a committee, and address this
pressing problem. If no one takes a stand
against stupid signs on our campus, the prob
lem will only get worse. People will no longer
need to go to the MSC Bookstore to buy Aggie
joke books. Rather, the jokes will be posted
around campus on stupid A&M signs.
Glenn Janik is a senior political science major.
, tise in gay discharges shows effect of‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy
^â„¢|he word is out: Despite ef-
â– forts to equalize opportu-
â– fnity for gays and lesbians
serve in the U.S. military, an
er-increasing number of ser-
a members are being dis-
rged.
Atlthe close of last fiscal year,
department of Defense re-
rted a record 997 members
—'.charged for homosexual be-
ASON
STARCH
t ORDiw. in That number has been rising every
3 vynLM« 3r since when President Clinton instituted
-ORMERSk? “don’t ask, don’t tell,” policy. The Defense De-
JR. ALUMNI rtment claims the onslaught of discharges is proof
uary 17,199ithe effectiveness of the implementation of the pol-
lirements' ^ ome people think the mass of discharges is dis-
J 77 . mination against homosexuals.
undergraduatecrefli IT /p. x ^ TT ,
j nt system. (Apasse- However, it is not discrimination. Homosexual
s.) havior has no place in the military.
residence at Texas Chapter 37 of U.S. Code Title 10 states since there
4 or thereafter, orno constitutional right to serve in the military, and
ie following parage i ce discretion of qualifications for service lies
credits, this required thin tho r'nnm-ooo r^nr-^c,
, , „ thin the Congress, Congress has the authority and
ormation to exclude any persons from service
sred an^as ASiki 10 would degrade the high standards of discipline,
w term (iand HoM® ,n §ress recognizes that military life is fundamen-
og). ly different than civilian life because it requires,
ity. • rules, laws, customs and traditions, including nu-
registrationortraiWf-'
merous restrictions on personal behavior, that would
not be acceptable in civilian society.”
Okay, translation time. What Congress is really
saying — and many who wrote the policy served in
the military — is the military is here to defend
democracy, not practice it. The military is selective
because America needs those persons who are best
able and willing to defend it, otherwise we will lose
this great nation.
I am a Sergeant in the United States Marine
Corps, and when I enlisted in the service, I had to
accept a new standard. I had to swear that I would,
“uphold and defend the Constitution of the United
States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.”
That means enemies from the outside and from
within our society.
Those enemies include anyone who would deter
other service members from doing their duty: pro
viding for the common defense. Defense requires
singular purpose of mind.
Gays and lesbians who show outward signs of
homosexual behavior should not be involved in the
“common defense.”
If homosexuals are actively promoting their pref
erences or behavior, then they are not only showing
a lack of singular purpose, but they are causing het
erosexuals a high degree of discomfort about an ex
tremely sensitive issue, which disables everyone
from providing defense. In the same fashion, het
erosexuals who behave in similar ways are subject
to charges under sexual harassment laws. No one is
above the law. Any behavior which destroys unit co
hesion is unacceptable, and is not allowable be
cause it distracts attention from the mission of de
fense. That behavior includes lack of discipline, lack
of physical fitness, sexual harassment and, yes, ho
mosexual behavior.
The key word there is “behavior.” Behavior
means outwardly saying or doing something, not
thinking to oneself. If no one else is confronted with
it, then the distraction is removed. That is the real is
sue. Homosexuals are not being singled out. The be
havior is being singled out. The military is not oblig
ated to follow the Bill of Rights, just to defend it.
Matt Coles, a lawyer with the American Civil Lib
erties Union, told a federal court of appeals last year,
“The government can’t shut up the speech because
somebody doesn’t like the message.”
Sorry, Matt, but the military sure can. The same
restriction that prevents a service member from slan
dering the Commander-in-Chief applies to homosex
ual behavior. Certain personal behavior is and
should be restricted, and for good reason.
If, as a Marine, I could say or do whatever I
wished regardless of my leaders, what would moti
vate me to follow their orders? I could just as easily
say, “I don’t feel that attacking that enemy machine-
gun position is the right policy. I won’t order my
Marines to do it. ”
That is the same as saying that I won’t defend the
Constitution because I disagree with the order I was
given. That is pure selfishness; putting myself before
my country does not offer much security for others.
What happened to the oath I swore?
The same breakdown of discipline and order is
caused by open homosexual behavior. Is the right of
the individual more important that the good of the
nation? I am a Marine, not a philosopher, yet com
mon sense compels the answer: selfish behavior
cannot be tolerated in the defense of this nation.
Soldiers have the right to an opinion, but they
give up the right to certain behavior so other Ameri
can citizens can have their rights. I gave up many
rights to serve this country, and no less than my all
is expected. That applies to everyone in a uniform.
Service in defense is a great privilege. With it,
comes a great responsibility. It means putting coun
try before personal desires. That sacrifice is impor
tant to remember when Americans think about the
value of their freedom. Sacrifice is the responsibility
of every service member, including homosexuals. If
a service member does not like it, they can finish
their term of service and return to civilian life. But
while they are on duty they cannot allow the blanket
of freedom to by stolen or torn apart by anyone.
Jason Starch is a junior rangeland economy major.
registration or Ira^
y
lupid busy robbing humans of money, brains during Valentine’s Day
merits
it have an Aggie < l,: -
)wing requirements
M University Sluder
uring the sec
ond month of
. ,0,;- -fli each year the
i to this semesters' ,.l . .
completion" W nllC is lied to. No,
The original letter* It the State of the
'our degree beingP* )j ori address — that
lingi ippens in January.
r ring on April 15,7 Tfo,, major decep-
ln the second
. «: onth is all the
/ for your ring audit. > r _
nay noi (wesutw ,^ tlcntines Day
lopla, when tradition dictates that peo-
3:30 am, â–  3:30(wn* e are expected to express their undying
oney order, w yoinf' ve t 0 one another. Love, romance and
'tssion are the goals of this day, herald-
1 not by its namesake, St. Valentine, but
; a therub by the name of Cupid.
Cupid is depicted as a sweet, cute,
inged cherub who flies around with
ithing on but a diaper and smites lovers
Russell
PAGE
everywhere with love-arrows. The truth
is Cupid looks more like someone on the
FBI’s 10 most wanted list. Instead of a
quiver of heart- piercing arrows, he has a
vacuum that is aimed directly at peoples
bank accounts. For all the money he
sucks out of people who are in love every
year, be sure he is dressed in more than
a diaper; the boy is wearing an Armani
suit and smoking Cuban cigars.
Every February 14, this evil little boy
comes out to convince the lovers of this
country that the amount of money a man
spends is equal to the depth of his love.
The more over- priced flowers, heart-
shaped candies and insincere cards a
man gives, the higher he will be es
teemed in the eyes of the one he holds
dear. Those gifts barely scratch the sur
face. If a man really wants to say “I love
you" do not forget the jewelry, poetry,
balloons, singing telegrams, stuffed ani
mals, perfume and cute, cuddly puppies.
If a woman receives all these gifts she
knows one of two things: either he really
loves her or he just messed around with
her best friend and feels guilty.
Cupid is very busy on this one day of
the year. Not only does he have to con
vince the romantically involved to spend,
spend, spend, but he also must make
those without a significant other feel in
significant. This is the one day of the
year when those who have no dates are
most painfully aware of the fact. The fact
they are not being ripped off by the
flower industry is little solace for their
lack of companionship.
But why would anyone buy into the lies
Cupid whispers like so many sweet noth
ings into our ears? Can some one please
explain what is so romantic about going
out to dinner and having to wait two hours
because every other couple in College Sta
tion is at the restaurant?
The truth behind this holiday is that it is
a chance for women to brag about and
compare just how whipped their men real
ly are. Men can forget birthdays and an
niversaries but no man can pretend that he
just did not know that Valentine’s was
coming. The more money men spend on
women the better they look in front of
their friends.
If the only time ladies get gifts from
their men is on Valentine’s Day, the
women either need to move on or stop the
self delusion that they have their men
wrapped around their little fingers. If the
only reason a man buys his wife or girl
friend flowers or sends her a card is when
he has to, then he is weak for giving into
popular pressure and uninspired as a lover.
It is time to stop this yearly cycle of
stupidity. The truth is none of these gifts
express love. Part of romance is spon
taneity and thoughtfulness. It is extreme
ly difficult to be spontaneous when
someone is expecting it. What is the
point of buying someone a gift to express
love when the gift is a cliche? One has to
wonder if there are any romantic ideas
out there that have not been over com
mercialized.
If someone wants to do something
sweet for his or her significant other try
to come up with something out of the or
dinary.
see Valentine's on Page 12.