01
i in Mil
omWeij
' natioj
)ei
theratiij
senioisl
lercad
boots a
a beti
lay • May 8, 1998
Opinion
AMPUS CONNECTION
leeniiil
in hasi|
|s, it;-1
punci
) celeb
cl
| (
i.m.
IQ
Yankee’s
adventures in
QGIELArSD
Adam
Collett
columnist
ello,
group.
My
1 is Adam
..I am aYan-
So would go
st appear-
atYA-Yan-
onymous
support
for New
rs, Canadi-
ustralians
ther non-
s living in College Station,
orth, of course, the word
;ees” at most refers to peo-
iborn in the Northeast/New
nd area, and more often
o New Yorkers. On this side
!eRed River, however, I’ve
d that the word refers
1st about anyone born
|ide of Texas, whether
h, South, East or West
estate.
.Hie definition of the
lYankee is not nearly
ibnly difference I’ve no-
l v
Ihcii:;
1 Ths:j
•' ichigan (and before that,
i S) d own t0 Texas. For ■
cor' '
s)
ledr
I since moving from
common good of the
besin the reading au-
ice (hang in there,
state pride is enough to
shock even the most gung-
ho Northerner. In Yankee-
land, remembering what
state you are from is consid
ered pretty fervent. Down
here, the pride is so intense
that even those who are not
active in the secessionist
movement sometimes think
Texas is it’s own country. Last
semester, for example, I paid
for something at the mall
with a check. When I pro
duced my Ohio driver’s license,
the clerk commented, “We don’t
often get foreign ID’s around
here.” That really happened.
Now on to the Yankees and the
non-Texas world from which they
come.
First of
all, yes it
is cold. In
fact, it’s so
cold that
northern
ers have
evolved
and are
.by
mga
rf
ein-
;ruities.
hen, in or-
o also leave
iroud Texan
erswith some ben-
1 will provide some
information about
Northern neighbors.
tie first difference I noticed
m my arrival in the Lone Star
e was the size of the insects.
Yankee, I was used to fairly
-intimidating roaches, but as
oaded my U-Haul into Hart
around 3 a.m. that August I
vthat these were different.
Irealized this when one of
a looked down at me and
d if I needed help with my
:s.
other oddity I’ve observed
ery vehicle on the road is as-
ed to be a truck. In fact,
n I took my vehicle in for reg-
ition, the question wasn’t
at kind of vehicle do you dri-
it was “What color truck do
have?” And before that, at
afety inspection, the two pri-
things they checked for
a properly installed gun
and the correct number of
ty beer cans in the back,
(course, the intensity of
When I took my vehicle in
for registration, the ques
tion wasn’t “What kind of
vehicle do you drive?” it was
“What color truck do you
have?”
now
born
with
ther
mal un
derwear
skin.
But the cold
doesn’t affect us like
it does Texans. Here, the
slightest layer of ice on the
roads prompts a virtual state
wide shutdown as DJ’s warn,
“For God’s sake don’t go out there
unless you really have to.”
Up North, by contrast, we don’t
really feel comfortable on the
road unless there is a good couple
of feet of snow on the ground.
In fact, Yankee drivers are of
ten thrown off guard by rare hot
weather and consequently have
the bulk of their fender benders
during the summertime.
Even summertime itself is a
quite different. In Texas, sum
mers last almost all year. Yankee
summers, especially in Michigan,
last approximately five minutes
on one afternoon in July. If you
happen to be indoors during that
five minutes, you have to wait
until next year.
Diet varies between the two
regions as well. Yankees can’t
spell brisquet and they don’t
know what it is, much less do
they actually eat it. In the North,
Taco Bell and Chi Chi’s are con
sidered real Mexican food. And
perhaps the most shocking di
etary difference is Yankees only
use ranch dressing on, of all
things, salads.
More specifically, beverages
help distinguish a Yankee from a
Texan. Your typical yank, you see,
does not consider beer as one of
the four food groups (it should be
noted here that Copenhagen is
also not considered a food
group). The more noticeable dif
ference shows up, however, when
a Texan and a non-Texan try to
communicate with each other
about carbonated beverages.
The non-Texan asks the Texan
for a Coke and of course the Texan
S. k % v replies, “What
kind of Coke
do you want?
Mountain
Dew, Pepsi,
Coke?
Which
one?” This
is because
in Texas,
everything
is a Coke
(with the
exception
of Dr. Pep
per, which
is piped
into every
home’s kitchen
s in lieu of tap water).
By contrast, Yankees most
5|' often generally refer to soft
drinks as “pop,” or (in the
■ Northeast), “soda.”
Of course, there ar e numer
ous other differences and it is the
preponderance of these mis
matches that sometimes leads to
poor relations between the two
groups. But now that British Prime
Minister Tony Blair has successfully
brokered peace in Northern Ireland
and is taking a crack at the Middle
East, he should be fully prepared to
come down here and ease the ten
sion between Texans and Yankees in
Aggieland. Until that happens, I
hope this clears things up.
Finally, don’t construe any of
this to mean that I am anti-Tex
an. After all, I’m marrying one
this Sunday. Still, what a strange,
wonderful place this Texas is. I
think I’ll stay for awhile.
Adam Collett is an educational
administration graduate student.
i Hfwfe mm
ID f\DD ID m
fcwgr (\hs(wer,;..
.tl CANhoT (pt#AENT
BECMJSE THCSE
DOCUMENTS ARfe
UNDER SENA...
PERSPECTIVES
Students must realize time
I,
is invaluable, soon gone
Caleb
McDaniel
columnist
I t is hard to believe that my sec
ond round of college finals is
already here. In a week, I will
have filed my freshman year as an
Aggie into the past. One down,
three to go. But I definitely did not
expect the first year to pass so
quickly.
Oh sure, you hear rumors
about time flying. Enjoy college,
they said. It will be over before
you know it, they winked. “Nah,” I
said. “I have four years to go.”
Now make that three. Maybe you
think three years is still too many years of tests, all-
nighters, and parking tickets, but that is precisely the
trap that you cannot fall into. Do not underestimate
time, or posterity will underestimate you.
The plain truth about time is as obvious as it is
powerful; it is here today, and gone tomorrow. Literal
ly. Each second enjoys its moment on the stage of his
tory, and then it bows out, sometimes unassumingly
and sometimes extravagantly, into oblivion. There
went another one, just as you finished that sentence.
There goes another one. And another. And the eight
or ten hours that is today will be gone tomorrow. I will
not have this day to live ever again.
But here is the powerful part: while this second is
here, while this day exists, the choice of whether it
passes quietly into history or with a bang into the
past, is mine. And yours. Because time is the one
thing that gains its value only after you spend it.
Its value does not appreciate as time passes. (Be
cause there went another second.) And when we
speak of “saving” time, we really mean it as a eu
phemism for finding ways of rushing through it, for
wasting it.
No, time is only valuable when you spend it. And
when you spend it wisely.
Okay, so maybe I’m being a bit too dramatic. (You
do not seem surprised.) Maybe I’m waxing a bit too
philosophical. (Hey, it’s me!) Maybe I’m thinking a lit
tle too idealistically. (I swear there is a silver lining.
Really.) Well, I don’t care.
Those of you who think that all of this “time” stuff
is hogwash are precisely the ones who do not under
stand it.
And those of you who, like me, realize how quickly
this year has passed, and how quickly the next year
will follow it, know exactly how I feel. You are learning
the most important lesson of growing up — that it
happens. And that time does fly. If you can catch it as
it zooms by, faster than a speeding Batt Boy, you are
doing good. If you can seize the day, then the day is
yours. Carpe diem.
If you don’t seize today, then the only thing that
will await you tomorrow is regret. Regret that you did
not use today to stop and smell the roses; you were
too busy smelling the coffee from last night’s cram
session.
Regret that you did not use today to meditate a lit
tle more on what this thing called life is all about; you
were too busy complaining about it.
Regret that you did not use today to tell someone
that you love them; you were too busy worrying
whether others love you.
You were too busy, in short, to live. I guess that
Dave Matthews of Dave Matthews Band fame has the
best bead on this of anyone I can think of. (Who did
you expect? Shakespeare?) Like him, “I can’t believe
that we would lie in our graves / wondering if we had
spent our living days well.” Spend your days well and
you will not have regrets. Waste them, and they will
lay you to waste before you know it.
I guess I am writing these things because I need to
read them. And all of us need an occasional reminder
that life is more than the sum of our grades or the
amount of sleep we got last night.
Time rushes on, and I rush right along with it, and
suddenly my freshman year is in the books. And I guess
it has taught me to appreciate the time that I have.
So I thank you for spending your time reading this
much newsprint. Without realizing it, you have given
me a non-refundable gift — your time.
What were you thinking? Get out there and live it
up. Tell him today that you appreciate him. Call her
now and tell her how you really feel. Have a cup of
cappuccino. Take the time to look at the stars. Enjoy
this day. Because you won’t be able to tomorrow.
Caleb McDaniel is a freshman
history major.
MAIL CALL
olumnist owes
oups apologies
response to Donny Ferguson’s
ty 4 column:
Asan MSC organization,
e Pheid Variable does not con-
“flethe participation of its
~ e ttibers in illegal activities such
smoking of marijuana. As
Organization, we are offended
by Ferguson’s allegations that we
are a group composed of “ston-
ers.” We find his comments both
inflammatory and libelous.
As students at Texas A&M we
are further offended by Fergu
son’s systematic attacks on stu
dent groups such as ours, the Pa
gan Student Association, the
National Organization for
Women, the Atheist and Agnostic
Association, the Academic Vam-
pirica and the Greek system.
Ferguson’s ignorance and big
otry abound in his misinformed
opinion, and we do not appreci
ate having our student organiza
tions defamed nor do we con
done the use of The Battalion’s
opinion page to do so.
The fact that these student
groups do not conform to Fergu
son’s narrow viewpoint does not
give him the right to belittle
them. The opinion page should
not be a vantage point utilized by
uninformed individuals to slan
der harmless student groups and
A&M institutions.
We, the members of Cepheid
Variable, believe Donny Fergu
son and The Battalion should
proffer apologies to our organi
zation and all of the other slan
dered groups.
Diana Liga
Chair, MSC Cepheid Variable
Accompanied by 36 signatures
Self-righteous quips
offend, alienate
I am writing in response to
Reggie White’s “interesting quips
about A&M.” What a charming
man! In his short, self-righteous
speech, Reggie White somehow
managed to alienate everyone
on campus who was not exactly
like him. I cannot think of any
group on campus that escaped
his sanctimonious judgments.
I was surprised to read that
White is an ordained minister. I
found the comment about cam
pus being better off if a few bik
ers were embedded in radiator
grills especially Christian. Not
only was this comment un-
Christian, but also hypocritical
after condemning the National
Organization for Women chapter
for supporting an abortion clinic.
But I guess running over bik
ers for no reason is different than
having abortions even though
they are both deadly any way you
look at it.
Perhaps Reggie White could
clear this up for those of us who
are confused. He seems to have
all the answers.
After reading his commentary
on Texas A&M, I realized what it
would take for A&M to reach Reg
gie White’s state of perfection. We
would all have to be just like Reg
gie White.
Sororities and fraternities
would have to be outlawed. Not
to mention bicycles. We would
have to get rid of the environ
mentalists too.
I mean, we only have one
earth to preserve, but the envi
ronmentalists apparently do not
fit into Reggie White’s perfect so
ciety. And God forbid women
have their own opinions either.
We would definitely have to put a
stop to free thinking of any kind.
Yes, perhaps this is a bit sarcas
tic. Perhaps Reggie White’s com
ments do not even dignify a re
sponse. Perhaps Reggie White
should keep his mouth shut and
stick to football.
Miranda Swiderski
Class of’01
The Battalion encourages letters to the ed
itor. Letters must be 300 words or less and in
clude the author’s name, class, and phone
number.
The opinion editor reserves the right to edit
letters for length, style, and accuracy. Letters
may be submitted in person at 013 Reed Mc
Donald with a valid student ID. Letters may also
be mailed to:
The Battalion - Mail Call
013 Reed McDonald
Texas A&M University
College Station, TX
77843-1111
Campus Mail: 1111
Fax: (409) 845-2647
E-mail: batt@unix.tamu.edu
For more details on letter policy, please call 845-3313
and direct your question to the opinion editor.