The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current, February 18, 1998, Image 5

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    Kednesday • February 18, 1998
The Battalion
JLmAAIEl ICE
mzmk lyS 4^3 I m fl
aking Barbie a reality
limbo' cliche should be celebrated for its contribution to society
Travis
Irby
staff writer
oor,
belea
guered
bimbos.
These mis
understood
flowers on
the cultural
landscape
have been
given a hard
time lately.
Monica
ivinsky, The Spice Girls, Jenny
Carthy — if you’re a woman
ig on looks and short on intel-
t, society does not take a kind
to your bimboness.
Listen to the media’s descrip-
ns of Lewinsky: big hair, low-
dresses and an oral fixation
the president.
The Spice Girls do not fare
ch easier. They’re often re
ed to as no-talent, overly
ide-up tramps. This all may be
ie, but is it necessarily a bad
hg? Bimbos provide a much-
ded service to society.
Being cloistered away at a ma-
university, most people take
granted the fact if they see an
active female she probably has
pte a few deep thoughts floating
und in her pretty little head.
But in the real world, the bim
bo makes life much easier and
bearable for the rest of us.
In the case of men, if it wasn’t
for bimbos, they would never be
able to fool around without com
mitment. Just ask the president.
If bimbos were college course
work, he’d be a Rhodes Scholar.
Oh wait, he is one.
Sometimes a man needs a
woman who knows exactly
what a man wants, but keeps
forgetting.
Plus, the sim
plicity of
these love
ly ladies al
lows
guys
one of the
few times, if
any, where
they have an in
tellectual ad
vantage over women.
For females, bimbos make the
average woman look better in a
number of ways.
The mighty bimbo makes the
women around her look like a
collection of Nobel Prize winners.
Bimbos also make men more ap
preciative of the other things a
woman has to offer, like cooking.
After more than an hour with a
bimbo, even though most men
would like to keep it to about 20
minutes, the typical guy would be
glad to bask in the muted make
up and conservative dress of the
average female.
But do not forget the number
one reason that the world
needs bimbos.
They allow women to feel su
perior and give them an object of
ridicule. If women couldn’t sit in
judgment of other
women, the whole
universe would
collapse.
The economy The econo-
would take a wickedUg^? my would
beating if there was ta ke a wicked
*" S' beating if there
was no bounty
of bimbos.
Cosmetic
companies would
crumble, leaving women every
where with an extra 12 hours a
day to use (since they wouldn’t
need make-up).
The streets would be filled
with shaved rabbits looking for
someone to apply “Pink Passion”
lipstick to their backs.
The slut-wear industry
would be no more. The world
o your partner
ays, "condoms
ramp my style.
, ou can say //r
ho get 'em . .
x* 3 ribbed
NATIONAL CONDOM
WEEK
Feb. 14-21
^sr-
would be a much darker place
without halter tops, Day-Glo
lingerie and skirts that don’t go
past the upper thighs.
In fact, Texas A&M could use
more bimbos. Each year the Uni
versity gives a helping hand to
disadvantaged minorities.
Well, no one has it harder
than the bimbo. Imagine being
trapped for life in tight synthet
ics and monosyllabic speech
patterns. The University should
start a Bimbo Endowment Fund
to insure that trailer parks and
beautician colleges can no
longer hoard this most precious
of resources.
The University could add
classes on cocktail waitress eti
quette, home wrecking and
hair elevation.
In general, the average person
needs to appreciate the contribu
tions of the bimbo. If it wasn’t for
bimbos, half ofWashington, D.C.,
wouldn’t have a social life.
Go listen to a Spice Girls song,
let Lewinsky tell her side of the
story and hope McCarthy gets
another sitcom, because glory be
to bimbos.
Travis Irby is a senior
journalism major.
CP
O'
ro" .
or just plain.’
CONDOMS are VSRY KFFKCTXVE in preventing
pregnancy and STDS, and they're the OHDY
birth control method that's effective
against HIV/AIDS. How's that for style?
4001 E. 29th, #103
Bryan
P Planned Parenthood
409/846-1744
of Houston and Southeast Texas, Inc.
imwri!
II® @
70’S, 80’S, AND 90’S MUSIC
LADIES NIGHT OUT (NO COVER WITH STUDENT ID)
82.50 PITCHERS 8-lOPM
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19TH
TICKETS AVAILABLE AT ROTHERS AND MAROONED.
DOORS OPEN AT 8 P.M.
FOR RESER VA TIONS OR ADDITIONAL INFORMA TION CALL
THE TEXAS HALL OF FAME AT 822-2222
Becoming
in the
Interviews
the Best
World!
Mechanical Engineers &
Industrial Distribution
Texas Hydraulics has outstanding career opportunities for talented
Mechanical Engineers! We are the nation's largest and fastest growing
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challenged and see your ideas take shape from concept to installation,
join us...
Thursday, February 19th, schedule through Career Center.
fm-':
Pizza Party and Presentation
Meet with us to learn more about career opportunities!
Wednesday, February 18th in the MSC,
Room 228 from 6:00 P.M. to 8:00 P.M.
Texas Hydraulics - Where your contribution determines your success!
HYDRAUL1CS
3410 N. Range Road
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FX 254-774-9940 Dover Web Site:...www.dovercorporation.com
Texas Hydraulics supports a drug-free environment and is an equal opportunity employer.
TEXAS A&M FOOTBALL
12TH MAN / WALK-ON
DATE: Wednesday,
ikwiv ^ '
'
TIME: 4:30 PM
WHERE: Kyle Field - Football
. ; ? U",list's
* MUST HAVE STARTED COLLEGE IN THE FALL OF
‘96 OR AFTER
* MUST BE ENROLLED IN A MINIMUM OF 12 HRS.
* ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY
Pre Law Society
Welcomes
St. Mary’s Law School
and
Texas Wesleyan Law School
Wednesday, February 18th
8:30 p.m.
504 Rudder
Everyone is Welcome!!!
For more information call
Office of Professional School Advising
847-8938
Do you wonder what your future hoMs? Come
talk to (ICS and discover the answers.
UCS has been in the computer and automotive business for 27
years. We are looking for many different backgrounds including
sales, customer service, programming, consulting, and technical
support for our Houston and College Station offices. So come
explore career opportunities with UCS at our informational
February 19, 1998
4:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m.
College Station Hilton
Ballroom 1
We will have representatives from various departments, so feel
free to bring a friend and come any time between 4:00 p.m. and
7:00 p.m. We hope to see you there! If you are unable to attend
or have any questions, please call:
UCS
1-800-883-3031
http: / / www. ucs-systems. com
E.O.E.
UCS Hires Non-Tobacco Users Only
UCS
CHAT & CHEW
with Dr. Malon Southerland
Vice President for Student Affairs
FEBRUARY 19
11:00 - 1:00 PM
ZACHRY
Engineering Building
• Discuss questions
• Voice concerns
• Light Refreshments
Another reason
to sign up tor
The Princeton
Review NOW:
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Ever. We guarantee it. This way your expert instructor
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(409) 696-9099
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Courses start April 18 but
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Reserve your spot today!
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• Graduation Announcements • Graduation Remembrance Displays
• Thank You Notes • Personalized Graduate Notepads
Call or come see us: www.aggielandprinting.com
Aggieland Printing • 1801 Holleman • College Station
693-8621
Graduating Seniors
Texas A&M
Graduation Announcements
Don’t miss your chance to spendH|
Summer Session I ’98 in
E-mail: jmhutch@archone.tumu.edu E-mail: DWJ@psyc.TAMU.Edu
Office hours: Office hours:
MWF 3:00-4:40 Thursday 8:30-9:30/ 11:00-12:30
Thursday 11:00-12:00 or by appointment
or by appointment
Study Abroad Programs -161 Bizzell Hall West - 845-0544
Att Majors/
For More Information, Contact:
Prof. Joe Hutchinson Prof. Dave Woehr
ITALY
WHAT COURSES WILL I TAKE?
You will take a total of two courses (6 hours), consisting of the following course:
ARTS 350: Arts and Civilization
Prof. Joe Hutchinson or
Prof. Paolo Barucchieri
PSYC 489: Special Topics in History of Psychology:
Psychology and the Renaissance
Prof. Dave Woehr