The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current, February 18, 1998, Image 5
Kednesday • February 18, 1998 The Battalion JLmAAIEl ICE mzmk lyS 4^3 I m fl aking Barbie a reality limbo' cliche should be celebrated for its contribution to society Travis Irby staff writer oor, belea guered bimbos. These mis understood flowers on the cultural landscape have been given a hard time lately. Monica ivinsky, The Spice Girls, Jenny Carthy — if you’re a woman ig on looks and short on intel- t, society does not take a kind to your bimboness. Listen to the media’s descrip- ns of Lewinsky: big hair, low- dresses and an oral fixation the president. The Spice Girls do not fare ch easier. They’re often re ed to as no-talent, overly ide-up tramps. This all may be ie, but is it necessarily a bad hg? Bimbos provide a much- ded service to society. Being cloistered away at a ma- university, most people take granted the fact if they see an active female she probably has pte a few deep thoughts floating und in her pretty little head. But in the real world, the bim bo makes life much easier and bearable for the rest of us. In the case of men, if it wasn’t for bimbos, they would never be able to fool around without com mitment. Just ask the president. If bimbos were college course work, he’d be a Rhodes Scholar. Oh wait, he is one. Sometimes a man needs a woman who knows exactly what a man wants, but keeps forgetting. Plus, the sim plicity of these love ly ladies al lows guys one of the few times, if any, where they have an in tellectual ad vantage over women. For females, bimbos make the average woman look better in a number of ways. The mighty bimbo makes the women around her look like a collection of Nobel Prize winners. Bimbos also make men more ap preciative of the other things a woman has to offer, like cooking. After more than an hour with a bimbo, even though most men would like to keep it to about 20 minutes, the typical guy would be glad to bask in the muted make up and conservative dress of the average female. But do not forget the number one reason that the world needs bimbos. They allow women to feel su perior and give them an object of ridicule. If women couldn’t sit in judgment of other women, the whole universe would collapse. The economy The econo- would take a wickedUg^? my would beating if there was ta ke a wicked *" S' beating if there was no bounty of bimbos. Cosmetic companies would crumble, leaving women every where with an extra 12 hours a day to use (since they wouldn’t need make-up). The streets would be filled with shaved rabbits looking for someone to apply “Pink Passion” lipstick to their backs. The slut-wear industry would be no more. The world o your partner ays, "condoms ramp my style. , ou can say //r ho get 'em . . x* 3 ribbed NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK Feb. 14-21 ^sr- would be a much darker place without halter tops, Day-Glo lingerie and skirts that don’t go past the upper thighs. In fact, Texas A&M could use more bimbos. Each year the Uni versity gives a helping hand to disadvantaged minorities. Well, no one has it harder than the bimbo. Imagine being trapped for life in tight synthet ics and monosyllabic speech patterns. The University should start a Bimbo Endowment Fund to insure that trailer parks and beautician colleges can no longer hoard this most precious of resources. The University could add classes on cocktail waitress eti quette, home wrecking and hair elevation. In general, the average person needs to appreciate the contribu tions of the bimbo. If it wasn’t for bimbos, half ofWashington, D.C., wouldn’t have a social life. Go listen to a Spice Girls song, let Lewinsky tell her side of the story and hope McCarthy gets another sitcom, because glory be to bimbos. Travis Irby is a senior journalism major. CP O' ro" . or just plain.’ CONDOMS are VSRY KFFKCTXVE in preventing pregnancy and STDS, and they're the OHDY birth control method that's effective against HIV/AIDS. How's that for style? 4001 E. 29th, #103 Bryan P Planned Parenthood 409/846-1744 of Houston and Southeast Texas, Inc. imwri! II® @ 70’S, 80’S, AND 90’S MUSIC LADIES NIGHT OUT (NO COVER WITH STUDENT ID) 82.50 PITCHERS 8-lOPM THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19TH TICKETS AVAILABLE AT ROTHERS AND MAROONED. DOORS OPEN AT 8 P.M. FOR RESER VA TIONS OR ADDITIONAL INFORMA TION CALL THE TEXAS HALL OF FAME AT 822-2222 Becoming in the Interviews the Best World! Mechanical Engineers & Industrial Distribution Texas Hydraulics has outstanding career opportunities for talented Mechanical Engineers! We are the nation's largest and fastest growing manufacturer of welded hydraulic cylinders. Our products are custom- engineered in Temple and then manufactured in one of our three manu facturing locations. If you are responsible, smart, articulate, want to be challenged and see your ideas take shape from concept to installation, join us... Thursday, February 19th, schedule through Career Center. fm-': Pizza Party and Presentation Meet with us to learn more about career opportunities! Wednesday, February 18th in the MSC, Room 228 from 6:00 P.M. to 8:00 P.M. Texas Hydraulics - Where your contribution determines your success! HYDRAUL1CS 3410 N. Range Road Temple, TX 76503 Web Site; .......www.texashyd.com PH 254-778-4701 E-Mail: cairuth@texashyd.com FX 254-774-9940 Dover Web Site:...www.dovercorporation.com Texas Hydraulics supports a drug-free environment and is an equal opportunity employer. TEXAS A&M FOOTBALL 12TH MAN / WALK-ON DATE: Wednesday, ikwiv ^ ' ' TIME: 4:30 PM WHERE: Kyle Field - Football . ; ? U",list's * MUST HAVE STARTED COLLEGE IN THE FALL OF ‘96 OR AFTER * MUST BE ENROLLED IN A MINIMUM OF 12 HRS. * ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY Pre Law Society Welcomes St. Mary’s Law School and Texas Wesleyan Law School Wednesday, February 18th 8:30 p.m. 504 Rudder Everyone is Welcome!!! For more information call Office of Professional School Advising 847-8938 Do you wonder what your future hoMs? Come talk to (ICS and discover the answers. UCS has been in the computer and automotive business for 27 years. We are looking for many different backgrounds including sales, customer service, programming, consulting, and technical support for our Houston and College Station offices. So come explore career opportunities with UCS at our informational February 19, 1998 4:00 p.m. - 7:00 p.m. College Station Hilton Ballroom 1 We will have representatives from various departments, so feel free to bring a friend and come any time between 4:00 p.m. and 7:00 p.m. We hope to see you there! If you are unable to attend or have any questions, please call: UCS 1-800-883-3031 http: / / www. ucs-systems. com E.O.E. UCS Hires Non-Tobacco Users Only UCS CHAT & CHEW with Dr. Malon Southerland Vice President for Student Affairs FEBRUARY 19 11:00 - 1:00 PM ZACHRY Engineering Building • Discuss questions • Voice concerns • Light Refreshments Another reason to sign up tor The Princeton Review NOW: Personal Attention You will never be in a class with more than 13 students. Ever. We guarantee it. This way your expert instructor knows who you are and how to help you most. Why take chances with anything less Focused? THE PRINCETON REVIEW (409) 696-9099 (800) 2REVIEW Courses start April 18 but class size is strictly limited. Extensive. Complete. Focused. Reserve your spot today! Taking the in June? • Graduation Announcements • Graduation Remembrance Displays • Thank You Notes • Personalized Graduate Notepads Call or come see us: www.aggielandprinting.com Aggieland Printing • 1801 Holleman • College Station 693-8621 Graduating Seniors Texas A&M Graduation Announcements Don’t miss your chance to spendH| Summer Session I ’98 in E-mail: jmhutch@archone.tumu.edu E-mail: DWJ@psyc.TAMU.Edu Office hours: Office hours: MWF 3:00-4:40 Thursday 8:30-9:30/ 11:00-12:30 Thursday 11:00-12:00 or by appointment or by appointment Study Abroad Programs -161 Bizzell Hall West - 845-0544 Att Majors/ For More Information, Contact: Prof. Joe Hutchinson Prof. Dave Woehr ITALY WHAT COURSES WILL I TAKE? You will take a total of two courses (6 hours), consisting of the following course: ARTS 350: Arts and Civilization Prof. Joe Hutchinson or Prof. Paolo Barucchieri PSYC 489: Special Topics in History of Psychology: Psychology and the Renaissance Prof. Dave Woehr