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About The Battalion. (College Station, Tex.) 1893-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 2, 1998)
3nday • February 2, 1998 The Battalion ENDERSCOPE Citerary women .essons and advice in women’s magazines insult, deceive U, "Ihey are everywhere. They stare at you in the grocery . store checkout line. They v up at parties on coffee ta- . They hide in waiting orcns. Women’s magazines. They he Bibles by which women i out their lives. As a public ice to those who do not advantage of these fabu- publications, I will pro- a guide to understanding orld according to en’s magazines. Manisha Parekh columnist iff . Money is no object (unless it comes to finding isband). ^ his is the most important thing women’s maga- s have to teach the masses. Forget about buying i :eries. Go ahead and spend $218 on a black dress : 1 le from $ 10 worth of fabric. (Actually, by spending :ery money on clothes, you won’t eat and you’ll weight. This will kill two birds with one stone), lothes are not enough, you must also have ching accessories. A pair of $90 Calvin Klein sun- -1 ses are absolutely necessary for today’s woman. r all, according to Cosmopolitan, “They reveal the rrows and eyebrows are so crucial.” low that today’s woman has created a debt to rival Gates’ net worth, she must find a way to pay for t season’s wardrobe. (Remember, it is so wrong to r last season’s fashions). Therefore, it is time to a rich man to take care of the credit card bills. As mo says, “If life costs a king’s ransom, I'm finding ig.’'Words to live by. . Looking good is a 24-hour pursuit. )f course it has to be. There are meetings with the (IS - natherapist, the personal trainer, the masseuse, erbalist, the psychic friend, the color consul- , the plastic surgeon, the personal buyer and the psychiatrist. A woman has to look absolutely perfect when she wakes up, when she goes to sleep, when she takes out the garbage. Even while changing a tire. (Although if the woman really looked good, she would have some knight in an Armani suit getting his driver to change the tire for her). It only takes a split second of looking like a real human being to ruin a woman’s life forever. 3. “Talent” is a subjective word. A truly modern woman is well-rounded and multi-talented. This month’s Cosmo includes the top ten talents you should master in order to “make this new year your best and bravest ever.” Among the awe-inspiring tal ents are “a fabulous flirting technique.” One tip for creat ing this technique is to leave the last couple inches of your dress unzipped. The theory is that you are simply more approachable when under the pretense of needing assistance.” Appar ently, most women make the mistake of looking like they actually know how to dress them selves without help. That is a no-no. Other Cosmo talents are mak ing the perfect martini and learn ing how to levitate people at par ties. This should come in handy the next time James Bond drops into town and needs a litde lift. 4. The meaning of “fearless” is different for women. Cosmo not only gives advice about fashion, but doubles as a dic tionary. According to Cosmo, Being “fearless” means red lips and messy hair. Allure defines “brav ery” as taking a picture without wearing makeup. “Perhaps it’s not like flying into Iraqi airspace or enduring childbirth without drugs, but it’s brave nonetheless.” Who could argue with such a truthful statement? 5. Messy hair is sexy. Not only is messy hair fearless, it is also sexy. Page after page in women’s magazines show models with hair that looks like it was done by Edward Scissorhands. What man could resist a woman with hair that rivals Don King’s? 6. The greatest controversy. Glamour answers the question that trou bles the sleep of many women: what’s the difference between a slip and a slip skirt? With this knowledge, the women of the world can all sleep soundly tonight. 7. The dreaded disease that can strike at any time. The warning signs are so subtle. A heavy purse. Too much time spent at the Clinique makeup counter. But at the first sign of these symptoms women need to run — not walk — and get help for a disease of epic proportions. This dreaded disease, according to Allure, is being a lipstickaholic. Most lipstickaholics get hooked at a young age. Their infatuation with finding the perfect lipstick color grows into an obsession and rules their lives. Thankfully, there is help for the millions of lipstick aholics out there. Sadly, though, there is no known cure and those afflicted can relapse at any time. If you know someone who might be a lipstickaholic, please, get them help. Their future fashion sense depends on it. 8. How to succeed in the workplace. Cosmo offers advice on getting noticed by your boss. “Leave messages at midnight. The next time you wake up to pee call your boss’s voice mail and leave an important reminder — it’ll give the impression that you’re thinking around the clock.” Or it could give the impression that you are some sort of psycho with no life, but, hey, everyone has to take chances. 9. The greatest problem affecting the world. “As if we didn’t have enough to worry about al ready — air pollution, disease, war, crime, financial uncertainty, the hole in the ozone layer — there’s al ways the added stress of being exposed to those ditz borne beauty habits known as Annoying Beauty Habits.” Finally, a magazine is brave enough to take on the epidemic of annoying celebrity habits. Who cares about the government, foreign policy or the environ ment when every single day Kirstie Alley flips her hair more times than Parking, Traffic and Transportation Services tows a car. What would today’s woman have done without Allure’s undercover expose of celebri ties acting like normal people. So, put down that Newsweek and pick up a real magazine. It could change your life. Manisha Parekh is a sophomore journalism and psychology major. •• r{ ATE OF THE UNION mmigration remains a vital isset to American economy o r r e y Streamed through rerica’s ilden door” the mil- ns, fleeing nine, perse- tion, tyran- or simply ?king a bet- life in a new tion teem- ;with Donny Ferguson columnist undless opportunity. Three hun- iC id years of American immigra- n, from English Puritans seeking igious freedom to Vietnamese ugees escaping a Communist pme, built a nation unlike any jOC ier in history, rich in variety and ! en to anyone seeking prosperity d freedom. Bu However, the American tradi- c0 ye'n of strength through diversity is danger. Once-dead anti-immi- int sentiments are resurrected d 52 percent of Americans sup- rt a five-year moratorium on im- gration. As negative opinions iw, accusations that legal immi- its steal jobs from citizens and . ihon off government services are N^dng more action than a White •use intern. /Such claims are, however, false, gal immigrants are a boon to the lited States, and efforts to deny 'em access to the American earn are no more discriminatory [BlOfd immoral than the anti-immi- yint laws of late 1800s and early )0s. Anti-immigrant activists are ' ective because they blur the line tween legal immigrants, who le to America seeking work d a better life, and those immi- ints who come here illegally. Ef ts to restrict, or shut off, immi- Ution to the United States, are ong and should be opposed. Economically speaking, immi- ttion does no harm to the econ- ty. Legal immigrants create, not •al, jobs and pour money into, t out of, social programs. In t, legal immigrants pay over $55 billion in federal income taxes alone, add $10 billion to the econ omy and pay $28 million more in taxes than they consume. The common belief immi grants take good-paying jobs away from American workers is another myth. Many immigrants come to America to start businesses they could not start under the massive regulations of their home coun tries. They create jobs and start businesses in America which would otherwise benefit other na tions. It is rather ironic that those who complain the most about American industries moving over seas are the quickest to deny for eign labor from coming here. According to the Census Bureau, of the 800,000 immigrants who en ter the United States annually, 140,000 come to “fill jobs for which no Americans are available,” refer ring to jobs such as picking fruit and washing dishes many immi grants seek and Americans refuse to do. Ohio University researchers find “no statistically meaningful re lation between immigration and unemployment.” The availability of inexpensive immigrant labor (in industries which Americans do not work) al lows produce and other goods and services to be produced at a lower price. Restricting immigration would make crucial goods such as food more expensive and out of the economic reach of the poor. Immi grants do not come to America to rob Americans of their jobs and take advantage of the welfare state. They find employment in busi nesses and farms Americans would not work in and pay much more in taxes than they consume in social services. Above all, America has a moral obligation to open its doors to im migrants. Of the 800,000 annual immigrants, 480,000 want to re unite with family in the United States and another 110,000 are refugees fleeing political and reli gious persecution. To shut off our borders to those seeking family or suffering inhumane treatment would be immoral, unforgivable and anti-American. All people, not just American citizens, have a God-given right to seek liberty, prosperity and a bet ter life. Foreign-born Americans are just as vital to the nation as the native born. In fact, they often ap preciate America’s blessings more than those whose families came over on the Mayflower and fought Redcoats at Bunker Hill. To turn away immigrants would fail our obligation as the world’s most prosperous nation and greatest bastion of liberty. Millions of Americans watched as Coast Guard boats turned back boatioads of Haitian refugees flee ing violence and bloodshed in 1992, but few were angered. Even fewer noticed when the Clinton Administration deported pregnant Chinese women who came to the United States to avoid compulsory abortions. The United States can not close down its borders while despots still rule and human rights are violated in nations such as Chi na, Cuba, Tibet and Nigeria. The current national anti-im migrant sentiment is just as much the product of stereotyping and xenophobia as it was 100 years ago. Legal immigrants stimulate our economy by creating jobs, lowering prices, infusing money into the marketplace and con tributing to the tax base. Immi grants are a blessing, not a curse, and to deny them entry into the United States would betray a na tional history written by immi grants and forfeit our national duty to support the cause of free dom worldwide. In a era in which global interac tion is increasing exponentially and cultural boundaries are falling, to adopt a national closed-door policy on immigration would cause seri ous, permanent damage to our na tion’s economy, culture and stature. Donny Ferguson is a junior political science major. LONE STAR LOWDOWN Free tuition proposal leaves financing issues unanswered John Lemons columnist H ere’s something that might bright en your day — John Sharp wants to pay for your college educa tion. This is not a mis print, he really wants to pick up the check on your degree. Now before you take to the streets in cele bration, read on, as there may be a catch. If the the state comp troller has his way, students that attended high school in Texas will receive schol arships to pay for their tuition and fees at any state university, community college or technical school. It is a deal that sounds too good to be true. Un fortunately, it probably is. While Sharp’s proposal to make public higher edu cation virtually free is deceptively attractive, it leaves many lingering questions about its practicality. Sharp calls his proposal the “Lone Star Schol ars” program. Under the program, the kind tax payers of Texas would cover the cost of tuition, re quired fees and books for up to 120 credit hours of an undergraduate degree. Furthermore, Texas students in private universi ties or colleges would be eligible for scholarships amounting to the average cost of tuition, fees and books at a public university. To be eligible, students must maintain a 2.8 grade- point ratio. They would earn one-year scholarships for each year they spend in Texas high schools. Sharp certainly deserves an A+ for creativity on his proposal. What he will receive for its practicality remains to be seen. Sharp, though, seems confident that Texas can swing the cost of paying for its chil- drenOs’ college education. He claims that it will only cost $485 million a year to fund “Lone Star Scholars.” It is money the comptroller says Texas already has. Indeed, lowering the price of college to one’s cost of living would be a tremendous asset to college students. Many students who must work a job to at tend school would be freed of that draining com mitment. The “Lone Star Scholars” program ap pears to be a dream come true for college students. The question that needs to be asked, however, is will it be a nightmare for taxpayers. After all, as the old saying goes, there is no such thing as a free lunch. As attractive as “Lone Star Scholars” is, it has some dangerous ramifications. First, there is a name for programs where the government compels its citizens to support the livelihood of others. It is called socialism. It is akin to communism, which the United States spent the last 50 years fighting during the Cold War. Unfortunately, if students are the benefactors of so cialism, they probably will not complain about it. Of course, if you do not have a philosophical ob jection to socialism, there are still several practical reasons why the “Lone Star Scholars” program is dangerous. For instance, making the taxpayers al most exclusively pay for college education gives the state undue control over students. Sharp’s proposal only covers 120 hours of course work. Many undergraduate degrees require more than 120 hours to be completed. An engineering degree, for example, requires on the order of 135 hours of course work. The extra 15 hours amounts to an entire semester the program will not under write. So, under this program, the state will not pay for the last semester of your engineering degree be cause it is “excessive.” Similarly, when the state is footing the bill for students’ education, it will have the ability to exert control over that education. The state will not pay for the extra hours a student will accumulate if he or she changes majors or earns a teaching certificate. Any student who has parents forking the wad for their education will testify to the fact parents can have a drastic effect on one’s class choices or even one’s major choice. Imagine the consequences of having the state meddle in one’s educational choices. Perhaps the most frightening question created by this program is what will it do to the demand for higher education. As the price for a college education approaches virtually nil, the number of people who pursue a college education will increase. This may not become significant at the universi ty level where admission is competitive and limited. It will, however, become significant at the commu nity college level, where admission is open to any body. As more people pursue a college degree, the burden on the taxpayer will increase. If the cost of the “Lone Star Scholars” program becomes too high, will Texas be able to extract itself from it? Likely, Texas will have great difficulty doing so. Consider the federal government and its dilem ma with the Social Security, a system that domi nates the federal budget but cannot be diminished. Creating entitlements may be easy, but halting them is nearly impossible. Before Texas embarks down the road of virtually free college education, the State needs to look long and hard at its potential failings. John Sharp may be the savior of Texas college students. Frighteningly, for Texas taxpayers, he may be the devil himself. John Lemons is an electrical engineering graduate student.