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gads, Bubba!
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Donny
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columnist
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Id is changing, so
ta is also change
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fthe neurological
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can you
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aond
ystem of scapegoating destroys image of University
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aillion, creates brain holes, loss of
auscle control and in some cases, de-
lentia, convincing Dr. Weisman to
mmediately schedule an appoint
ment for Ross Perot.
Dr. Weisman’s report, published in
he British medical journal The Lancet
nd reported by the Associated Press
finder the “well, duh” headline “Think
1 , Bwice About Eating Squirrel Brains,”
O/j las shaken a hillbilly populous forced
*“ ^ t( abstain from their gourmet veal af-
pr recent beef scares.
Dr. Weisman and the report’s co-au-
mor, Dr. Joseph Berger, discovered the
Ink in 11 people in rural western Ken-
K)\ i \|>) _ Acky (where else?) After reviewing the
roudcuratorsand» ata ’ ^ r - Berger advises, “It is perhaps
men the famednl est to av °id squirrel brains and prob-
veled 75 pacest l^'y t ^ ie ^ >ra * ns of any other animal.”
i Sunday. ■ er g er also recommends people not
;at? Isn’t it great? l 00 ^ squirrels they have run over with
ar Jeffrey Post, ca r, because crazed squirrels are
he SmithsonianIrPore likely to run out into traffic,
i-famous gem cm Give these medical geniuses a No-
; it’s the first timrl<d prize! Without their insight and
ed to look as gd It lentless pursuit of wisdom, Ameri-
' Ians may never have realized eating
aingto reallygonuilieir beloved squirrel brains “ain’t
Robert Sullivan,ai quite right.” However, what these
ic reaction when medical pioneers have failed to real-
opens its newdisple is, if you’re eating a squirrel’s
ninerals on Sept biain, you’ve probably got a neuro-
Sullivan removed logical disorder anyway,
m its wall safe eai Thanks to the tireless efforts of
ing, carefullyplacel'eismari and Berger, squirrel brains
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Nuggets. The fact that some people ac
tually do eat the brains of squirrels
raises questions like, “What’s so appe
tizing about gnawing on the stuff in a
rodent’s head?” and “Do you use a nut
cracker or a saw?” But why do people
eat squirrel brains? Squirrels are by no
means Jeopardy! contestants (just dri
ve down a suburban street), and their
brains can’t be too filling.
Now pigs, on the other hand, are
very intelligent animals with plump
cranial contents, not to mention peo
ple already eat enough strange parts of
a pig’s anatomy (go sample a hot dog),
but you can’t order the pig’s brain
omelette at Denny’s. The “Why are
squirrel brains so appetizing?” mystery
may never be solved, although it may
be caused by the same mind-numbing
phenomenon which causes university
officials to paint Fish Pond a sickly
shade of lavender.
Whatever their strange appeal, squir
rel brains have gained a reputation as
the “Hee-Haw” crowd’s answer to caviar.
They are about the size of a golf ball and
are rumored to taste like mushy liver.
Mushy liver? Why didn’t you tell us?
They sound about as good as those
breakfast steak fingers in Sbisa. Despite
the obviously appetizing qualities of
squirrel brains, Swanson Foods proba
bly has no plans to market “Frozen
Squirrel Brains ’n Peas” or the “Squirrel
Brains Macaroni” kids platter. The neu
rological nuggets are, however, some
times cooked with sauteed onions and
served over rice, or scrambled into eggs.
All culinary combinations aside,
rural Kentucky is in shock over the
tainted squirrel brains scare. Orga
nizers of Floyd County’s 18th Annual
Slone Mountain Squirrel Festival are
struggling to cope with the grim
news. “We don’t even fix squirrel
gravy anymore. We don’t serve any
wild animal whatsoever. The health
department said they’d all have to be
checked, so we just decided not to
fool with it,” said organizer Otis
Hicks. Floyd County residents plan to
continue with the Squirrel Festival,
despite the crushing revelation.
Tennessee native and Frankfort oral
historian Janet Norris Gates heard the
disheartening news and remembered
her father. “In our family, we saw it as a
prized piece of meat, and if he shared
it with you, you were pretty happy. Not
that he was stingy, but there’s just not
that much of a squirrel brain,” Gates
said. “There’s no way I can undo what
I’ve done. But I have certainly enjoyed
eating them.” Hang in there Janet, our
prayers are with you.
Central Kentucky farmer Philip
Lyvers has no plans to change his di
etary regimen over “two guys’ opin
ions,” despite the obvious lunacy of
eating the “rodent delicacy.” “I know
more old hunters than I know of old
doctors,” Lyvers said.
Just as the mad-cow and E. coli beef
scares have made some Americans
change the way they eat meat, the
squirrel brains scare may finally make
backwoods Alabama rednecks realize
just how idiotic it is to fry up a golf
ball-sized morsel of gray matter when
they can run down to the Piggly-Wig
gly and pick up some Goo-Goo Clus
ters and Slim Jims. In the meantime, I
think I’ll take my chances with those
steak fingers.
Donny Ferguson is a junior political
science major.
W0
Brandon
Hausenfluck
columnist
ypoensy is
running
rampant
here at Texas A&M.
A handful of
A&M Corps mem
bers have been se
riously repri
manded for doing
what they were
taught to do.
The A&M Stu
dent Judicial Ser
vices in the De
partment of Student Life concluded
hearings Monday of 16 members of the
Fish Drill Team who were charged in
Inly with hazing.
Information was gathered by the Uni
versity from nine Drill Team advisers who
were charged with hazing earlier this
year. Those cadets were punished for
their involvement.
All 16 students were one-time mem
bers of or upperclassman advisors to t he
rigorous drill unit of freshman students
in the Corps of Cadets.
Five of the 16 students are still
members of the Corps, eight are en
rolled at A&M but are no longer mem
bers of the Corps, and three of the
cadets are no longer members of the
A&M student body.
The sanctions for the students con
victed ranged from deferred suspensions
to letters of reprimand.
The A&M Administration has adopted
a zero-tolerance policy toward hazing,
which U has exercised frequently these
last couple of years. Two fraternities last
year lost their charters after two unrelat
ed hazing incidents occurred. However, it
has taken a while for the administration
to crack down on the Corps.
When Corps Commandant Maj. Gen.
Ted Hopwood took over last year, he was
quick to make changes in the way the
Corps operated. Last fall, for example,
Hopwood ruled that freshman were not
to run on the Quad — a Corps tradition
as old as sliced bread. Upperclassmen
were devastated.
I’m not trying to say Hopwood was out
of line in his ruling, not at all. He is actu
ally the first Commandant who has ever
taken the Corps by the horns and thrown
it around a little bit.
This summer, for example, a Fish Drill
Team adviser was expelled for hazing. He
was a student in good standing at A&M
who took pride in his role as a leader in
the Corps of Cadets. He was a student Ag
gies could boast about, and he led the
Fish Drill Team to new heights.
The student was expelled for doing ex
actly what had been done to him and
every other FDT member. He was kicked
out of school for doing what he was
taught. The Commandant needs to look at
the big picture, and not make scapegoats
out of his most prized students.
In the 1997-98 A&M Student Rules cat
alog, hazing is defined as: “any intention
al, knowing or reckless act... by one per
son alone or acting with others ... that
endangers the mental or physical health
or safety of a student.”
Granted, cadets will valiantly deny any
wrong doing after they have run an out-
of-shape freshman until he or she pukes
bile. And if an eye is put out by a flying ri
fle, then that’s just too bad.
It’s all in how you interpret it.
The Rules catalog states that hazing
is defined as one who is being subject
ed to “any type of physical activity,
such as sleep deprivation, exposure to
the elements, [or] confinement in a
small space.”
We’ve all seen it. There is always a dis
respectful Corps member sitting in the
front row of a class sunburned and asleep,
probably because he or she is claustro
phobic and cannot enjoy their two hours
of rest in the tiny dorm rooms. But as they
drool and bob their heads, we as their fel
low students, subject to the same rules
they are, sit and watch a victim of hazing,
and accept it. Because that’s what they
joined the Corps for, right?
A&M administrators are doing what
needs to be done. They are effectively en
forcing the laws the govern us as Aggies
and as Texans.
Dr. J. Malon Southerland, vice presi
dent for student affairs, is one of the
main administrators involved with every
hazing incident. As an extremely popular
and well-respected leader on campus, he
must make decisions based on what is
right — not on what will make him more
popular.
In a University Relations press re
lease, Southerland said Big Brother will
be watching.
“Texas A&M takes any and all allega
tions of hazing... or any other violation
of our student rules extremely seriously,”
he said.
Unless some serious changes are made
in the operation of some student organiza
tions, there will be many more scapegoats.
Brandon Hausenfluck is a senior
journalism major.
MAIL CALL
Reveille as a mutt
proves a good idea
In response to John Lemon’s Sep
tember 10 column:
Lemon’s opinion column about
the next Reveille sparked my inter
est. Adopting a mixed-breed from a
pound is an admirable act, and the
notion of having an Old Army
Reveille is one that I like, as I’m sure
many Ags would.
But first and foremost, Reveille is
a symbol of Texas A&M. She is sup
posed to stand for what is great
about our school wherever she is, at
any athletic event, at every review
and on her way to class with her
handler. She represents all of us
every day. I support thq idea of
Reveille VII being a mutt. A&M as a
whole should be proud of every Ag
gie that is part of this university, and
the message a mixed-breed Rev
would send is that we as students,
and all those affiliated with A&M,
support our own regardless of
background, simply because they
are Aggies.
I learned through my four years
in the Corps of Cadets that being an
Aggie means loving A&M and sup
porting the Aggie teams, win or
lose. To me that means I’ll cast my
vote for a mutt Rev, but I still am
proud of Reveille VI.
Bob Riggs
Class of’9 7
Exchange student at The Citadel
Class instruction
requires a syllabus
In response to Helen Clancy’s Sep
tember 8 column:
Speaking as an instructor, I can
empathize with Clancy’s senti
ments in her column. Certainly the
first week of the semester tends to
be the dullest, and I wish that I
could follow your advice and just
jump right into classroom activi
ties, and on other occasions ignore
the syllabus. Unfortunately, both
professors and we graduate assis
tants have several constraints.
First, departments, colleges and
the University have established nu
merous guidelines regarding syl
labus construction and presenta
tion. We must include and discuss
certain policies such as absences,
grading, student services, etc.
Second, a class’ make-up
changes drastically during the first
week because of drop-add. Late-
adding students can read the syl
labus to learn policies, but they can
not make up group work and class
discussions, important elements of
smaller classes such as technical
writing or public speaking.
Third, the syllabus is a contract.
It protects students from potentially
unfair treatment and allows the in
structor to encapsulate his or her
expectations.
For grade-conscious students
such as those at Texas A&M, the syl
labus provides the standard for
evaluation.
Although I agree with you that syl
labus presentation is boring and that
too much adherence to it can be re
ductive, I think that it is a necessary
and important part of each class.
JeffTodd
Graduate student