ednesday -June 18, 1997
|ix days of battle
Metrical war sets backdrop for future relations
Columnist
Inishe
Seal "Ihisyear marks the 30th an-
r,11 N niversary of the Six-Day War.
ms , For those who flunked history
lie Middle East, the Six-Day War
rin H. ithewar in which Israel defeated
up 1 combined forces of Egypt, Jor-
an<J und Syria, in the process captur-
a J iheland known as die West Bank,
metl Golan Heights, the Gaza Strip,
itheSinai Peninsula.
0 ^ n Hieconflict over this territory
i lembroiled the Middle East and
r( j ^ ised numerous deaths of people
s ^ mmany nations. This anniver-
yhas caused those on both sides to reflect
l e j 0 , liemember nearly fifty years of conflict and
]l iih.For America’s part, it is time to re-exam-
lourpolicies and purposes for the region,
tali
^ V
Robbv Ray
Senior speech
communications major
First, a little background. The Balfour
Declaration of 1917 pledged “the estab
lishment of a national home for the Jew
ish people.” This marked the first time
that a political entity known as Palestine
had ever existed. Palestine was divided
into East and West, with the eastern half
mostly reserved for the Jews.
In 1948, the United Nations parti
tioned the region again and created the
state of Israel. All of the Arab members
of the UN voted against the resolution
and then declared it invalid when it
was adopted. The day Israel declared
its independence, Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, Egypt
and Iraq all invaded the new nation, with the
battle cry “Murder the Jews! Murder them all!”
stated publicly by the Mufti of Jerusalem, Haj
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Amin A1 Hussein. Israel was able to withstand
this attack, and an armistice was signed in 1949.
In 1967, the Arab nations again appeared
to be preparing for war. In May, they signed a
mutual defense pact. President Nasser of
Egypt said of the developments, “Our basic
goal is the destruction of Israel.” Faced with
such provocation, the Israelis preemptively
attacked the Arabs, in the process capturing
much strategic territory. Some of this land
has since been traded back for peace treaties,
and much of the remainder is still in dispute.
The internationally recognized govern-
ment-in-exile for the Palestinians is the
Palestine Liberation Organization, founded
in 1964 and led by Yasir Arafat since 1968.
The PLO is a terrorist organization, responsi
ble for countless deaths through the years,
and has never renounced violence as a
method of influencing policy.
When governments negotiate with terror
ists, it sets a dangerous precedent. The ongoing
trial of Timothy McVeigh has reminded Ameri
cans that we are not immune to the specter of
terrorism just because we live an ocean away
from where it is most common. Terrorist
groups have tried to organize in the United
States before, but law enforcement has been
particularly ruthless in hunting them down.
In the last few years, however, a growing
number of paramilitary groups have sprung
up. These groups are well armed and have the
entire published history of world terrorism
from which to learn. By treating terrorists as
equals with nations, we signal that violence is a
legitimate way to influence government policy.
Israel has longstanding international legit
imacy that the Arabs deny.
The U.S. needs a strong Israel in the Mid
dle East as an ally and a stabilizing influence,
but is forcing them into an indefensible posi
tion where Israel’s only option to avoid anni
hilation could be to launch a nuclear strike.
Both Israeli and American military studies
have shown Israel’s pre-1967 boundaries are
not sufficient to provide an adequate defense
in the event of another concerted attack. Is
rael has long been rumored to possess nuclear
capability, and many analysts claim that in the
event of an stalemated war, the Israeli military
would not hesitate to go nuclear. Add to this
the fact that several Arab states have chemical
weapons and the ability and will to use them
— it is a dangerous situation, indeed.
library rules fall short on book returns
mm
a ftj Veiling C. Evans Library is a
wonderful place to absorb in-
ijth alKformation at Texas A&M Uni-
ad ] island with the impending
f n gt( ition, it promises to get better,
k tt ay students, however, are frus-
[d tl led in their quest for knowledge
this all too familiar word on the
ctronic catalog: overdue.
|n aij Library patrons check out ma-
kr-o ials they urgently need, use
I cou irafor all their worth and them
lit wi iowthem on the floorboards of their cars
|theti Lind the passenger seat. Perhaps manda-
tysensitivity training for first-time library
Nl erswill have an effect on this anti-social
|n K havior, much like gruesome wreck films
Own in driver’s education classes.
Icuti' \] a yb e an even better way to get materials
nel iclinthe library on time is the tried and
r f fa lecarrot and stick method. If humanitarian
|f°" Spulseswill not do the trick, maybe good
fashioned punishment will have an effect.
Ihe library’s present policy is far from ad-
iuate.The first step is to send two overdue
Ices to offending patrons. No real action
taken until six months after the materials
IP)'
Columnist
Jack Harvey
Junior economics major
are due, at which time students are
billed for the cost of the materials
plus a $10 processing fee. This
charge is attached to their fee
statement, and the students be
come blocked from registering.
Instead of reverting to Dracon
ian measures after half a year, offi
cials should impose a fine when
materials are due. Students, being
well-known procrastinators, are
more likely to wait if they know
punishment for their inaction may
never materialize. With a progressive fine
schedule, beginning at the due date, pun
ishment will be more closely related to the
crime committed.
Parking, Transit, and Traffic Services, as
much as it is reviled, is a good example of an
entity on campus which knows how to use
fines to get students to follow regulations.
With swift and sure enforcement of exorbi
tant fines, any would-be violator would
think twice about parking in a 30-minute
spot for one iota longer than the allotted
time. Conversely, with six months in which
students are immune from serious action on
the part of Evans Library, books collect on
dorm room floors.
Although it may be a sore point to bring
up, the library at the University of Texas has
greater book availability, largely through the
miracle of fines. Much as our beloved PTTS
stalk our parking lots several times a day, the
quiet, demure, yet sadistic librarians at UT
are merciless in fines for overdue materials.
The result, according to their circulation de
partment, is one of the highest book-avail
ability rates in the nation.
Charlene Clark, public relations officer
for the Evans library, said fines have been
considered by the Book Availability Task
force and will be implemented at some fu
ture time. This is a glimmer of hope that
perhaps our University is not led by simple
tons, but humans capable of learning and
adaption. A date or schedule of fines, how
ever, was not mentioned.
This action is a little late, but maybe it
will not be too little. Aggies, being smarter
than Longhorns, will respond just as well if
not better to fines. After all, preservation of
precious party money is a talent all college
students possess.
lad luck constitutes more than one day
ts®
Managing Editor
Helen Clancy
Senior English major
Id tL
|[is tsbadlucktobe su-
r perstitious, so when
Friday the 13th
ted around, I didn’t
, ee |spect a thing.
In fact, this past Fri-
’djtywas a rather un-
entful, prosaic kind
Lday. But as a new
if fekbegan, no sooth-
f tyer could prepare me
'rthe events which
fould unfold. For the sake of
levity, I’ve restricted the inci-
hts to four areas of lamenta-
Oii: transportation, finances, re-
Imships and pests.
Transportation
As with most college stu
nts, transportation is more vi-
iJ ^to my daily routine than, say,
No sooner did I realize this
pelf*n when my beloved ‘85 Toy-
'e was pronounced dead on
jiF le scene, at 1:03 a.m. Sunday
^ning, to be exact.
The cause of death was un
own, but many symptoms
Xiuld have alerted me to the
Lient’s condition. The increas-
% dull glow of the headlights
and the sudden absence
of interior lighting were
all tell-tale signs.
But I procrastinated,
allowing the illness to
progress into a serious
case of gonnacostyouitis.
The patient has yet to be
revived, due to a serious
lack of funds.
Finances
Almost all of my cur
rent financial woes are explained
by the possession of one item: a
really cool keyboard. This isn’t an
ordinary, plastic Toys R’ Us play
thing — this is an instrument.
The 61 drum variations, dual
voice options and automatic
chord progressions are a pleas
ant distraction from the empty
deposit column in my check
book. Although I’m three
months behind on my phone
bill, I can perform a flawless ren
dition of the Braueheart theme
song, bagpipes and all.
Relationships
It might seem odd for a busy
college student with a full-time
job to spend hours tinkering
around on a keyboard, but since
my boyfriend vanished into the
rain forests of Central America, I
have no choice.
Last week he departed with a
group of anthropology majors
from the University of Texas to
work on excavations in Belize.
Other than one cryptic phone
call in which he said, “It’s not
working out down here, but I
can’t tell you why,” I haven’t
heard from him.
Pests
I laughed out loud after reading
the Dallas Morning News article
about a woman who had an esti
mated 10,000 cockroaches cohab-
itating in her apartment. Then I
noticed an oval shadow scurry
across my carpet, vanishing into
the depths of my dirty laundry — I
lost my sense of humor.
Cockroaches are not funny. They
hide behind garbage cans, retreat
into the confines of silverware draw
ers and feed off old newspapers.
As I stormed out of my roach-
infested quarters to invest in a can
of Raid, I remembered my car was
out of commission. Damn that car.
As I gave the old heap of metal
one more try, I noticed something
yellow peeking out from under
my floor mat. Alas, it was a park
ing ticket I had forgotten to pay.
PTTS had finally caught on to
my “Please don’t ticket me — I’m
buying a permit today” sign,
which had been strategically
placed on my dashboard for
weeks. It was only a matter of
time before my luck ran out.
And there were no black cats
crossing my paths, no ominous
ladders to walk under. I haven’t
broken a mirror in quite some
time, and I never open an um
brella indoors.
It seems every day is a testa
ment to life’s unpredictability.
Putting these incidents into per
spective is one’s only defense
against bouts of bad luck, and no
day is ever inherently “bad."
Through this ordeal I’ve saved
a lot of gas money, escaped the
reign of PTTS and memorized
Mozart’s “Rondo Alla Turca.” But
most importantly, I’ve learned
how to exterminate cockroaches
with oven cleaner.
The Battalion
Sexuality differs
as the tides turn
Spring. 8:45 a.m.
Barometric pressure
falling. Expect scat
tered showers.
The SEbring Envi
ronmentally-Sani
tized Artificial Womb,
also known as SEE
SAW, successfully
birthed its first hu
man yesterday in Har
lingen, Texas. Doctors
say the newborn is in
perfect health.
Such encouraging news is rare
in the overcrowded Rio Grande
Valley, an area known for its pol
lution and sickly population.
News of the birth is not so
encouraging to The Arrow
Group, the heterosexual politi
cal group. Since the invention of
SEESAW ten years ago, The Ar
row Group has maintained that
the device will further lessen
the status of heterosexual rela
tions. “Though we often engage
in sexual intercourse for plea
sure, we also practice hetero
sexuality to preserve our
species,” an Arrow Group mem
ber said. “SEESAW devalues our
sexual orientation, because now
a machine can do better what
we’ve been doing forever.”
Glenn Sebring, inventor of
SEESAW, downplayed The Ar
row Group’s concerns. He said
yesterday’s success “cleans the
tarnished slate of past repro
ductive practices.” He added,
“Arrow doesn’t comprehend
that increased population will
kill not only our species, but
also the planet.”
Chris, the Supreme Ruler of
the Universe, appears to echo
Sebring’s sentiments. During
their semi-annual convention,
most prophets suggested that
Chris advocates reductions in
the human population.
“Chris told me that all of
these things are happening for
a reason: the hurricanes, SEE
SAW, the Sahara-Kalahari
Merge in Africa,” said one
prophet. “These are signs just
like the locust plagues and
famines in biblical times.”
Summer. 2:30 p.m. Mercury
rising. Hot and humid.
The heterosexuals have tak
en to the streets. Spearheading
protests nationwide. The Arrow
Group is demanding the right
to unprotected heterosexual
relations. “The government is
not in the bedrooms of homo
sexual couples; why should
they be in mine?” asked one
Shreveport protester.
The Arrow Group claims het
erosexuals have been dehuman
ized since the passing of the
SEESAW Act. According to the
act, new humans can only be
birthed via in vitro fertilization
and SEESAW.
President Jonathan Searcy ad
dressed the issue in a press con
ference this morning. Although
sympathetic to heterosexual con
cerns, the president said, “het
erosexuals are directly responsi
ble for America’s environmental
crises.” He added that heterosex
ual relations endanger
the planet, and that we
must not lose sight of
the “greater good” of en
vironmental prosperity.
Summer. 5:31 p.m.
Mercury plummeting.
Hurricane warning.
We hope electricity
has been restored to
your area of the coun
try. With your new
lights, we hope you
can see us again.
The current death toll from
this hurricane is around 250,000.
Higher death tolls are expected as
the storm moves west across the
country. Scientists expect global
warming to decrease steadily
with the high death tolls during
this hurricane season.
“Global warming increases
with population, so population
decrease will procure global cool
ing— and hurricanes of less fe
rocity,” says Wally Walliker of the
National Weather Service.
In other news, prophets con
cluded their semi-annual conven
tion in Denver yesterday. Most
prophets said Chris allowed this
deadly hurricane to “help man.”
Four prophets disagreed, citing
Chris’ decision stemmed from
“anger at humankind’s decisions.”
“Chris shows us the paths and
suggests through The Word which
path to take,” said one Sunset,
Utah, prophet. “But humans ulti
mately decide their fate. Chris
suggested we ‘be fruitful and
multiply,’ but our decisions from
this suggestion got us in the
predicament we’re in now.”
“Chris just wants our trust;
Chris doesn’t want us to trust in
man,” echoed an Arizona
prophet. “Chris quoted a disciple
at our last convention, Susan B.
Anthony, ‘1 distrust those people
who know so well what God
wants them to do, because I no
tice it always coincides with
their own desires.’”
Also yesterday, the first gener
ation of SEESAW kids graduated
from high school. According to
polls, about 86 percent of the
8,000 SEESAW kids will attend
college this fall — most at the
school a parent attended.
The polls also found 72 per
cent of the kids to be exclusive
ly heterosexual, 28 percent bi
sexual, and five percent
exclusively homosexual.
Autumn. 7:15 p.m. Barometer
steady. Easy time.
It seems appropriate to re
port weather first; our daily lives
depend on it. Weather deter
mines our wardrobes, our
moods, our activities, our
movements, how we see each
other. Weather is elemental.
Thirty years of weather data
constitute climate. Climate de
termines our environment, and
humans inhabit an array of envi
ronments: from the bitterness of
the tundra, through the oppres
sion of the desert, to the purity
of the rain forest.
How we see these environments
changes with time — as do climates
— as does weather—as does life.
Guest Columnist
H.L Baxter
Senior geography major
Mail Call
‘Stupid people’
voice their opinions
In response to Kristina Baffin’s June
17th column:
Buffin is not being tolerant of
ignorant people. Does this not
make her ignorant by her own def
inition? I am not a homophobe,
but I believe homosexuality is
wrong — this is my opinion. I
served four-and-a-half years in
the United States Army to earn the
right to voice my opinion.
What has she done lately to
earn the right to voice her opin
ion? Just because someone’s opin
ion differs from hers, it doesn’t
mean they are ignorant, marxist or
anything else for that matter.
It simply means they see
things differently. Buffin’s kind
of narrow-minded ideology is
just the sort of thing which kept
people such as Hitler in power.
In other words she contradicts
herself and is a hypocrite.
Allen Capps
Class of’98
The University definitely needs a
highfalutin’ big-city girl such as yer
own self to set the simple-minded
country bumpkins straight in this
here teeming metropolis. Yeehaw!
On a (slightly) more serious note,
I offer Buffin one of my favorite
quotes: “You know how dumb the
average person is? Well, by defini
tion, half of them are dumber than
that.” —J.R. “Bob” Dobbs
Bradley Peikert
Graduate Student
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