The Battalion
Page 11
Wednesday • April 9, 1997
bbacco industry
aces uncertain future
Columnist
Mason Jackson
Junior
marketing major
D ateline2005. In a
bold move this
week, the Ligget
Jroup, the country’s
hird-largest marijuana
:ompany, announced
hey were jumping into
H he scented marijuana
H narket, which until
low has been dominat-
|tw id by the RJ. Reynolds
to.
But unlike
leynolds, who has
Mi ound success with
mtdoor scents like Pine Forest
ind Ocean Breeze, Ligget will be
aking a cue from the perfume in-
soiBustry and make designer scents,
'roposed celebrity scents include
Bong Water” by Woody Harrelson
nd "Paranoia” by Calvin Klein.
The Ligget Group, as you might
ecall, played a large role in the
riminalization of tobacco and the
egalization of marijuana. In 1997
hey released a series of internal
locuments to settle lawsuits pend-
ng in 22 states.
The rest of the tobacco industry
ought hard to keep those docu-
nents sealed, claiming attorney-
djc ilient privilege. They were success-
nds ul in 20 states, but judges in
Mississippi and Illinois released all
he documents on the grounds that
he lawyers had engaged in fraud by
lelping the industry conceal the
tealth risks of smoking.
The documents revealed what
;veryone capable of thought al-
:eadyknew. Ligget, along with
dft every other tobacco company, was
mo fully aware of tobacco’s health risks
as far back as 1951.
In a private meeting in 1965,
tobacco executives briefly con
sidered the moral and ethical im
plications of selling something
they knew was detrimental to the
health of consumers.
One of the executives was
^J| recorded as saying “Come on,
a what do I look like, a freakin’ nun?
| ji ^Besides, what they don’t know
won’t kill us.”
This set the stage for 30 years of
Jy, lies and deceit fed to a hypocritical
ipublic that chose to believe the to
bacco companies were onto some
thing in that 1972 study of four peo-
)le who recovered from chicken
jox after they began smoking.
These documents
proved to be the smoking
gun that did in tobacco
(not to be confused with
the smoking gun which
was the centerpiece of a
miserably inept cross-
promotional tie-in with
the NRA).
By late 1998, the pub
lic outcry was so loud
that Congress was forced
into action. They crimi
nalized tobacco in No
vember 1998. In Febru
ary 1999, after three months of
putting up with cranky ex-smok
ers, it was decided that everyone
just needed to "chill-out,” and
marijuana was legalized.
The tobacco companies, who
had survived up to this point by in
vading and pillaging small South
American countries, immediately
brought in consultants from Ams
terdam to oversee the transition to
the joint-making business.
The 2000 residential elections
were seen as pivotal when con
servative Texas governor, George
W. Bush, staged a come from be
hind victory after the discovery of
the A1 Gore-Martha Stewart sex
tapes. But Bush was not able to
get any legislation passed be
cause Sen. Simpson (Rep. Califor
nia) diverted all congressional re
sources into the search for the
real killer.
Now the marijuana industry
sees nothing but smooth sailing
ahead with newly elected Presi
dent Richards and particularly
with Vice-President Cheech. Inci
dentally, ex-President Bush Jr.
says his presidential library is go
ing up next to his dad’s, and the
name of the University will be of
ficially changed to Texas A & M &
George & George University.
Ligget says its future plans in
clude rolling out something similar
to the popular Marlboro Miles pro
motion, where customers send in
proofs-of-purchase in order to re
ceive cool “Gear,” like books on how
to lower goals to fit a current level of
achievement. Market analysts see
this as a positive move in an indus
try which caters to the consumer.
America, you’ve come a long
way baby. Let’s see where the next
eight years takes us.
Heiio...Hello...Hello?!?
Telephone registration complicates student life
“W
-elcome to
the Texas
A&M Stu
dent Information Sys
tem. Enter an action
code now.”
Aaargh! It’s that voice
— the voice of A&M’s
phone registration sys
tem. It is the voice that
rewards students after
enduring hours of busy
signals to access the sys
tem. It’s also the voice
that taunts potential reg
isters with the unhappy news of
blocks or full classes.
It is the voice which, come tomor
row, will bring out the worst in stu
dents. Registration is a semiannual
trial for students. Although registra
tion has been upgraded, improve
ments need to be made to transform
the experience from a major nui
sance to a simple exercise.
First, the voice must go. The
wretched voice actually has a name.
The folks at the Student Informa
tion Management System Project
SIMS Administration, the group
which oversees phone registration,
call the voice Mr. Vocom.
Vocom’s unnatural, dismem
bered, slightly tinny voice betrays the
welcome he grants upon starting
registration. Vocom is cold, uncaring
and impatient as he commands stu
dents to enter action codes or con
tinuously press the pound key. He
also is slowly being phased out by the
perky sounding female voice which
currently greets students upon en
tering the registration system. Al
though an improvement, the new
voice is still grating.
The system needs a more
charming voice. Perhaps, famed ra
dio commentator Paul Harvey
would be willing to act as the front
man for phone registration. It
would be pleasing to hear his nasal
ly, staccato voice proclaim, “This is
Paul Harvey, stand by to register.”
Phone registration’s most frustrat
ing problem is the difficulty of get
ting into the system. This is a prob
lem created by students. Each night,
there are approximately 2,000 stu
dents fighting for 127 available lines
on the system. What’s worse is all
Columnist
John Lemons
Electrical engineering
graduate student
2,000 students try to
register at exactly 10
p.m. as registration be
gins. The result is a con
stant busy signal for the
majority of students at
tempting to register.
Don Gardner, asso
ciate registrar for the
University, said stu
dents unnecessarily
worry about classes fill
ing during registration.
“Everybody thinks, in
their mind, they need to
be the first one on,” Gardner said.
“They think everyone is trying to
get their classes.”
The truth is there are
so many classes avail
able, it is unlikely that
students will lose class
es by waiting an hour or
two to register. Unless a
student is a senior regis
tering the first night of
registration, classes
have been available to
others for days.
When it comes to
registration, students
are imbeciles. By fight
ing to register, students
wreck havoc on the
phone system and their
own nerves.
Their actions defy log
ic. When students are dis
missed from class, they
don’t all try to walk out
the door at the same time
in the desperate thought
of being left behind.
But, like a mob of stu
dents, the registration
frenzy also can be dan
gerous. In April of 1995,
the registration system
failed, but students still
tried to access the system.
Larry Malota, project
director of SIMS, said the
calls disrupted College
Station’s phone network.
“We caused some
very delayed dial tones,”
Malota said.
These delayed dial
tones prevented calls
from reaching Columbia
Medical Center, an area hospital.
Although the phone registration
system is impressive, students need
another option. Our increasingly
wired campus deserves the option of
registering by computer, in addition
to registering by phone.
Computer registration would of
fer campus geeks and technophiles
the option of registering without be
ing subject to Vocom’s droning. By
opening up computer registration,
more students would be able to reg
ister. Users would be able to see
which classes are available as they
register. Furthermore, students
would be able to choose classes
without waiting for verbal prompts.
Malota said the registrar has ap
proved the initial development of a
computer registration system.
“We won’t be seeing this (com
puter registration) until Spring ’98,”
Malota said.
Registration is A&M’s most miser
able shared experience. From Vo
com’s mechanical voice to inevitable,
traffic jamming of the system, stu
dents can expect a heinous experi
ence every semester. Someday stu
dents will simply be able to sit down
at their computers to choose classes,
but for now, “Did you forget to press
the pound key?” is all they’ll hear.
v
\
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Hhi
Editorial round-up
lines
land
ltA&'
Idies. ^ an Antonio Express-News on
1 j, he federal response to flooding:
^ The Clinton administration has
d sked for $2 billion in supplemen-
al disaster relief funds to help re-
1,1 mild communities in California,
he Ohio Valley and the Pacific
rthwest ravaged by recent floods.
Last year, flooding in the North-
totlfvest and East cost taxpayers $501
nillion. In 1993, when the Mighty
;ai* Mississippi overflowed its banks,
ighnii mngress paid $5.7 billion.
This annual rite occurs be
cause people build and live in
ffil 1 * 1 lood plains. They try to put down
M foots where Mother Nature says
.vori®! ihey shouldn’t.
That is nonsense, but govern
ment makes it easy.
Local governments authorize
Is in#
Lis
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-estfr
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zoning and land use in flood plains.
The federal government provides
flood insurance and disaster relief.
And the Army Corps of Engi
neers has boasted, for a century,
that it can tame the mightiest rivers.
The solution is easy, a Corps of
Engineers official in California re
cently admitted: “Keep people out
of the flood plain.”
How? Congress is mulling legis
lation that would make broad fed
eral policy changes to move people
from flood plains. Direct buyouts
are an option. So are incentives to
local governments that do not al
low building in flood plains.
People should not live and de
velopers should not develop in
places that flood. There are land
uses for flood plains — say, Park
Ubm*
\S
land — that are more suitable.
Paying disaster relief makes
members of Congress heroes back
home, but it is just another budget
buster that needn’t be.
Austin American-Statesman
on HB 3508:
House Bill 3508 by State Rep.
Tommy Merritt, R-Longview, has
as its stated purpose the promo
tion of energy conservation. To
that end, Merritt proposes that the
state Lottery Commission sell
coupons ... which the holder may
use to get out of a speeding ticket.
The basic idea is that when a citi
zen is stopped for speeding, he mere
ly hands the officer one of the coupons
and goes on his way, ticketless.
Where does energy conservation
come in? A spokesman for Merritt
said that exceeding the speed limits
by more than 10 miles an hour
burns fuel at an accelerated rate.
The bill is fine as far as it goes, but
why stop at speeding coupons? How
about... coupons for bald tires, faulty
brakes, for busted turn signals? For a
heftier price, Texans could have
coupons that allow one armed rob
bery without penalty. There could be
a Drew Nixon coupon to get out of a
prostitution sting.
The coupons could become so
popular that the legislature could
abolish all taxes. And all in the
name of energy conservation.
The Lubbock Avalanche-Jour
nal on gangs:
As street gangs continue to be
come a more serious problem in
America, it is becoming more obvi
ous that gang members have a
growing contempt for society.
Perhaps nowhere has this con
tempt been more evident in recent
months than in the Rhode Island
federal courtroom last week in
which a member of the Latin Kings
gang stood up, unzipped his pants
and urinated during his trial.
Federal marshals pounced on 22-
year-old George “King Animal” Perry,
and removed him from the courtroom.
The outrageousness of the act
concerns us much more than its se
riousness. Perry is one of six gang
members who were being tried for
murder, extortion, drug dealing,
carjacking and other offenses. Pub
lic urination and indecent exposure
are minor crimes in comparison.
But the fact that he would do
that in a court of law with a jury
present — even though his back
was to them at the time — speaks
volumes about his lack of respect
for the court and his disdain for so
cietal values.
Human life and values held dear
by normal members of society are
scorned by gangs. So, as gang
members continue to treat society
with contempt, society should re
act in kind.
This should be reflected in
tougher laws and higher law en
forcement priority’s being place
placed on gang activity.
And it must be reflected in our
jury verdicts. We must not passive
ly accept into this country the in
trusion of gangs and their con
temptuousness of decent values.
— \
TkS (S EN\BkRRN^iH&.
^ CULT WITH ONLY
ONE LAetABER-
Mail
Greensp*n
Theory of evolution
lacks truth, evidence
In response to Dr. Hale’s letter on
Apr. 8 on evolution.
Evolution is a religion for those
who defend it.
Evolution is not a sound scientif
ic theory because a theory, accord
ing to Olmsted Chemistry, “is based
on experimental observations, and
the goal of a theory is to explain
some set of experimental results.”
Evolution is presented as a theory,
even though it is unsupported by
any experimental evidence. This is
not science. This is a leap of faith.
The “same, stale, inaccurate ar
guments” about evolution are not so
inaccurate. They are always the same
because evolutionists tend always to
give their same unsubstantial argu
ments for evolution.
For example, throughout the his
tory of human kind, there has been
no transitional fossil found that can
stand under careful scrutiny as ac
tually being a transition between
species. There have been some that
evolutionists hail as key transitions,
but when these fossils are reviewed,
they have been shown as either a
specimen of specific species or an
extinct species.
There is no fossil that is clearly
transitional which has been found to
date. If over human kind’s hundred
years of archeology, these fossils have
not been found, is it not unreason
able to conclude that these fossils do
not exist, perhaps because the ani
mals themselves never existed ei
ther? Evolutionists, however, hold re-^ -
ligiously to the belief that these
fossils do exist, because their entire
“theory” depends on their existence
— according to Darwin.
Dr. Hale resorts to the argu
ment of rapid change. This is only
a cop out for evolutionists trying
to salvage a theory that has no
known supporting evidence.
Lizards cannot sprout wings.
Daniel Huang
Class of'00
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