Battalion
Page 3
Monday • April 7, 1997
aint
Val Kilmer stars as a man of many identities in The Saint
^venturesome flick blessed with solid direction
Weak in Rock
MTV steals and sanitizes music and culture
By James Francis
The Battalion
e background singers are humming, duh nuh
nuh nuh nuh nuhhhhh...
You sit on the bus, reading a newspaper, when
suddenly you feel eyes all about you. Duh nuh nuh nuh
mh nuhhhhh...
E You slowly let the paper slide down below your
level of sight and begin to scrutinize the other bus
e riders. Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuhhhhh...
^ 1 A voice from behind says, “Don't turn around. You
Ee in grave danger.” Duh nuh nuh
nuh nuhhhhh...
■ You quickly respond by asking
1 in a nervous state of mind, “Who
jeyou?” Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh
nuhhhhh... “I am Bustapa Rid-
(}re,” the stranger says. “I was
^■amed after the Catholic saint
ie .jstfho rescued students’ bus passes
Rafter torrential Texas winds blew
j£viem to the O&M Building.”
The music stops, and the
l0<[ ' film begins.
u®** The Saint opens in a dank Moscow setting, with a
boy named Simon being punished in a strict
I Catholic school for not stating his name. He is a
common thief, and from this moment on he takes
on names of Catholic saints, each pertaining to
Whatever situation he must escape from. But the
jlm doesn’t concentrate solely on Simon.
Elisabeth Shue portrays Dr. Russell, a scientist
|ttempting to perfect the formula for cold fusion.
If achieved, she will break new ground in the search
3r world warmth (Moscow has exhausted its supply of
Seating oil). In essence, the Russians are starving, cold
The Saint
Starring Val Kilmer and
Elisabeth Shue
Directed by Phillip Noyce
Rated PG*13
Playing at Hollywood 16
★ 1/2 (out of five)
and in desperate need of a good leader and hero. In
steps the now-adult Simon (Val Kilmer) as one of his
masked avengers, who steals the formula from Russell
and plans to “deliver the goods” to a Russian buyer.
Problems arise when Simon begins to develop feelings
for Russell. At this point, the film takes the audience on
a seesaw of raw action, love, deceit and movie magic.
Unlike previous roles, Kilmer portrays a character
who is lost in a sea of false identities. While the premise
of his role might seem a bit trite, Kilmer proves a master
of disguises with enough acting talent to make his por
trayals believable and screen-worthy.
Shue, coming off the not-so-cele-
| brated The Trigger Effect after her
1 critically-acclaimed prostitute role
I in Leaving Las Vegas, is a breeze of
j fresh air amidst the smog and cold
1 snow of Moscow. As her character
I falls in love with Kilmer, her perfor-
| mance of up-close moments moves
I the hearts of audience members —
1 it’s as though she is talking to every
person seated in the theater.
Along with these two solid perfor
mances, the film is well-directed, pushing all action
scenes to the forefront of excellence. One of the best mo
ments in the film occurs when Shue is chased in slow mo
tion as she runs toward the American embassy for safety.
The Saint is a fun, adventuresome film about love
and the search for inner peace. The film is no great clas
sic, but a good version of what trinkets sometimes fall
out of the Hollywood attic.
The band strikes up again. Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh
nuhhhhh... The bus comes to a sudden halt atyour stop.
Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuhhhhh... As others get up, you
stand and immediately turn around, only to find an emp
ty seat behind you. Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuhhhhh...
This was no dream—it was a meeting with a profession-
K URT LODER:
This is MTV
News, where you
hear it... first.
Today in music news,
fans of Kurt Cobain gath
ered in Seattle to mourn
the death of the late gen
erational spokesman.
Here’s a clip.
WEEPY GIRL #1: He
was, like, the poet of my
generation, only he
wasn’t a poet, and I
couldn’t actually understand any
thing he sang.
WEEPY GIRL #2: He reminded
me of Jesus Christ, in a way. I
mean, if Jesus Christ used heroin
and was married to a vaguely an
noying slut.
LODER: In related news, Cobain’s
widow, Hole singer Courtney Love,
announced plans to star in the re
make of Jesus of Nazareth — as the
Columnist
Michael Schaub
Sophomore English
major
Virgin Mary.
In a rare press con
ference, Jesus Christ
said he was doubtful
about the casting of
Love as his mother.
JESUS CHRIST:
Well, I really liked her
in The People vs. Larry
Flynt, but quite
frankly, I was pushing
for Demi Moore.
LODER: Christ de
clined to comment on
whether he was, in fact, the son of
God, but did say, quote, "Memo to
Marilyn Manson: Lose the make
up, babe. I talked with Satan, and
even he’s kind of bored with you.”
MTV’s hit show Singled Ouf visit
ed College Station, Texas, home of
Texas A&M University, last week. Hi
larity ensued when A&M mascot
Reveille, a collie, mauled and killed
host Chris Hardwick. Here’s a clip.
Men follows character’s lead
NEW YORK (AP) — Ellen De-
'neres is coming out in real life, too.
After a season of controversy-
ring rumors, her character on
ten will acknowledge her homo-
uality on the ABC sitcom April
Now, DeGeneres says she’s a les-
too.
“When I decided to have my char
ter on the show come out, I knew I
as going to have to come out too,”
eGeneres says in the latest Time
magazine. “But I didn’t want to talk
about it until the show was done. I
never wanted to be the lesbian ac
tress. I never wanted to be the
spokesperson for the gay communi
ty. Ever. I did it for my own truth.”
DeGeneres admits being con
fused sexually as a young woman.
T dated guys,” she says. “I liked
guys. But I knew that I liked girls too. 1
just didn’t know what to do with that.”
The 39-year-old comedian says
she quit dating men at about age 20
and recently met a woman she hopes
to forge a lasting relationship with.
Asked about the Rev. Jerry Falwell,
who resorted to name-calling in
blasting DeGeneres’ morals after
news of the upcoming on-air an
nouncement was released, the sit
com star said she’d heard it all before.
“Really, he called me that? Ellen
DeGenerate?” she said. “I’ve been
getting diat since the fourth grade.”
CHRIS HARDWICK: OK, Carl,
what clandestine ROTC group do
you prefAIIIEEEEE! Get it off! For
the love of God, help ...
AUDIENCE: Whoop! Whoop!
LODER: In other MTV news,
the cast of Road Rules encoun
tered some trouble when their van
broke down in rural southeastern
Louisiana. Let’s watch.
MAN IN OVERALLS AND
STRAW HAT: You look pretty, boy.
Real pretty. So pretty I think I’m
gonna call you “rump.”
LODER: Fans of late genera
tional spokesman Shannon
Hoon, of Blind Melon, gathered
in New Orleans to mourn the
dead, whiny singer. Both mourn
ers left after five minutes to enjoy
some cold Dixie beers.
Be sure to watch Friday when The
Real World LX debuts on MTV This
time, the cast will spend a year
homeless on the streets of East St.
Louis. Wackiness will abound.
Speaking of “wacky,” former
U.S. Senator Bob Dole has found a
new job — hosting Yo! MTV Raps!
Dole said his goal is to keep “f—
kin’s—t up, old school.”
BOB DOLE: Bob Dole’s cornin’
at you from the streets of Russell,
Kansas. Watch out, Clinton, the
Notorious D.O.L.E. is here from the
Notorious G.O.P, and he’s keepin’
it real. We out.
LODER: Dole’s first episode as
host of Yo! MTV Raps! wi\\ be a
tribute to slain rapper, actor and
criminal Tupac Shakur. Fans of
Shakur gathered in Las Vegas last
week to mourn the killing of the
generational spokesman.
WEEPY GIRL #3: He was, like,
the poet of my generation, only he
wasn’t a poet. He was a convicted
rapist who ordered the murder of
his enemies.
WEEPY GIRL #4: I’ve spent my
entire high school life co-opting
African-American culture to justify
my overprivileged, imperialistic
white-bred existence. Now what, I
ask you? Now what?
LODER: Ha, ha. Don’t worry,
miss, MTV is always here to help
steal cultures and drag them, sani
tized, into the mainstream so all col
lege fraternities can enjoy them.
That’s all tor MTV News today.
Here’s Alanis Monisette, with “Ironic.”
Portuguese Speakers
Part-time Jobs
Universal Computer Systems, Inc., in business since 1970,
develops, installs and supports the most sophisticated computer
systems available in our industry. We are currently seeking
mtry-level, bilingual writers/translators, to help with our expansion
ito South America. These jobs will be based in our Bryan/College
nation office and requires written and verbal fluency in Portuguese
nd English. 20 - 30 hours per week. Non-smokers only. E.O.E.
Call to apply.
Universal Computer Systems, Inc.
(800) 883-3031
Do You Have Panic Attacks?
Freedom Research, Inc. is seeking volunteers for a 12-week research
study of an investigational medication for panic
disorder. You must be 18-65 years old in good health.
You may be paid up to $200 for your particpation in the study.
For more information call:
229-0049
ORACLE
DATA BASE COORDINATOR
The University of Texas Health Center at Tyler has an immediate opening for an Oracle
Data Base Coordinator. Candidates must have knowledge of complex relational database
concepts, technical architecture and processes. Experience in database definition, instance
creation, security, recovery, structure, documentation, and operational guidelines. Requires
Windows NT and Oracle 7 experience, bachelors degree in appropriate field, and strong
team skills. SQL Server and Visual Basic experience a plus. Interested applicants contact:
Employment Services, The University ofTexas Health Center at Tyler, P.O. Box 2003, Tyler,
Tx. 75710. Ph. 1-800-435-3985 or FAX (903) 877-7729. An EEO/AA Employer.
M.EVD.
'ixtonzifz-
725B University Drive
FOR THE WEEK OF APRIL 6 - 10
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asti!
Meet the man who made the KKK pay!
MSC Great Issues presents:
Teaching
Tolerance
featuring speaker
Morris Dees
Co-founder of the Southern Poverty Law Center
and credited with bankrupting the KKK
Monday, April 7, 1997
7:00 PM
Rudder Theater
Admission is free.
Persons with disabilities please call 845-1515 to inform us of your spe
cial needs. We request notification three (3) working days prior to the
event to enable us to assist you to the best of our abilities.
Presented in conjunction with Whoopstock (Saturday, April 12)
ArtFest 1997
juried exhibit of student artwork
Entries accepted
April 9 to 11
2 to 6 pm
in room 227 MSC
$5 per entry
All TAMU
students
invited to
enter!
Winning
entries displayed
in MSC
Visual Arts
Gallery
Prizes awarded: * painting
total value over $400 ^ drawing
best of show $60 ^ photography
plus 1st, 2nd, 3rd^ computer generated
in each category sculpture
presented by
MSC Visual Arts Committee
Official Rules: http: / / vac.tamu.edu
Phone: 845-9251 Email: vac@msc.tamu.edu
PROFITABLE NUMBER! 845-0569 The Battalion Classified Advertising