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THURSDAY
June 20, 1996
OPINION
Page 5
Baptists goof with Disney boycott
I t’s not as if Dis
ney’s version of
The Hunchback of
■ Notre Dame is a
I porno film. But to
1 read the Southern
I Baptist Convention’s
I (SBC) censure of the
I entertainment giant,
I one would think Dis-
I ney has become the
I American family’s No.
I 1 enemy.
Last week, 14,000
I attendees at the SBC’s New Orleans
I meeting overwhelmingly passed a reso-
| lution condemning some of Disney’s
I policies. Furthermore, they amended
I the resolution, threatening to “boycott
I Disney Company stores and theme
I parks if they continue this anti-Christ-
I ian and anti-family trend.”
Disney struck right back, issuing a
I statement saying, “We find it curious
I that a group that claims to espouse fam
ily values would vote to boycott the
world’s largest producer of wholesome
family entertainment.”
The Baptists’ ire centers around
Disney’s “hosting” of an annual “Gay
Day” celebration at Walt Disney World
in Orlando, Fla., and its extension of
health insurance and benefits to gay
employees’ partners.
Although the SBC considers homo-
[ sexuality incompatible with Christiani
ty, it’s hard to understand why it is sin
gling Disney out and why it is so intent
on punishing homosexuals.
Disney certainly is not unique in
granting benefits to gay employees’
partners. Apple Computer, Xerox, Levi-
Strauss and Coors Brewing Company
all do the same. The Baptists, however,
did not threaten to burn their 501s or
toss their Power Macs to protest those
companies’ policies.
The objection the SBC seems to have
against Disney specifically is that it is the
entertainment company families have al-
| ways counted on for clean entertainment.
As Nancy Victory, the chairman of the
i resolutions committee, said in a New
| York Times article, “The Disney Compa
ny is not the same Disney that it was
years ago when we were growing up.”
Still, a successful boycott would hard-
[ ly contribute to pro-family entertain
ment. The message the SBC is sending is
• “If you aren’t completely pro-traditional
values, then don’t even pretend to be in
favor of some of them.” Notice there is no
proposed boycott for MGM, even after it
released that sleaze-a-thon, “Showgirls.”
The SBC, of course, would prefer to see
its complaints addressed instead of boy
cotting Disney. But it’s difficult to under
stand what the SBC wants accomplished.
For example, Disney has no control
over “Gay Day.” Disney does not spon
sor it. Gays gather in Orlando and go to
Disney World together, buying tickets
like anyone else. Disney makes no spe
cial accommodations, like doing the
Main Street Parade in drag. To end
“Gay Day,” Disney would have to ban
gays from the park — an impossible and
vicious task.
As for the SBC’s desire to deny bene
fits to gay employees’ partners, that’s
just mean-spirited. Rather than saving
any souls, the SBC seems more deter
mined to hurt some bodies. Not having
health insurance will not make a homo
sexual suddenly become heterosexual,
but it might prevent him from getting
medical treatment.
Finally, it remains to be seen how a
change in Disney’s policies will return
Disney to “pro-family” status. Will deny
ing gay couples benefits somehow
strengthen traditional families?
Although this proposed boycott seems
ridiculous, it definitely is not Mickey
Mouse. Over 15 million Southern Bap
tists live in the United States, and they
are a major political and economic force
in this country. An organized boycott
could wound Disney.
Then again, Disney is hardly teeter
ing on bankruptcy, having raked in over
$12 billion in fiscal year 1995.
But this is one reason why Baptists
should realize how silly a boycott would
be. Disney’s an enormous corporation,
and instead of encouraging its many con
tributions to society — good films, TV
shows and books — the SBC is nitpick
ing at a couple of innocuous practices.
Hopefully, Baptists will disregard the
Convention’s resolution and end this
embarrassing standoff. Already, it has
become difficult to determine whose val
ues are Christian, and whose are just
plain goofy.
Jason Brown is a Class of ’96
economics major
JASON
BROWN
Opinion Editor
City rankings matter a
lot but mean nothing
E very city has
some claim to
fame. Whether
it’s the home of the
world’s biggest wa
termelon festival or
the birthplace of
some long-dead and
much-forgotten his
torical figure, each
American city des
perately clings to an
identity, no matter
how pointless or in
consequential it may seem. Even if
the only thing worth pointing out in a
city is the road that leads out of it,
each town wants to feel superior to
the one down the highway.
This need for superiority has evolved
into some kind of odd ranking system,
courtesy of Money Magazine. Each
year, the magazine rates the 300
biggest towns in the United States, us
ing criteria determined by readers.
When the rankings come out, as they
did last week, readers rush to find out
where their town ranks — and are in
evitably surprised by the results.
However, before local inhabitants
question why College Station (No. 45)
is ranked behind the paradises of
Brownsville (No. 43) and McAllen (No.
41), the real question is why people
put any validity in these rankings in
the first place.
This year. Money readers chose sev
eral factors, including clean water, nu
merous hospitals and low property tax
es, as the important criteria for cities.
Granted, these are all valuable consid
erations, but what about the other in
tangibles that make a city a great place
to live? True, adding factors such as
culture and scenic beauty to the rank
ings would plunge College Station’s po
sition to somewhere between Gary,
Ind., and the Seventh Level of Hell, but
one cannot base the value of a city on
something as trite as an impeccable tax
rate. After all, a town can have a hospi
tal dotting every block, but if it con
tains a population that won’t visit their
neighbors in one, what’s the point?
Just as there are problems involving
the factors left out of the rankings,
there are even more problems with the
factors upon which the judgment is
based. Many of the factors do seem
quantitative — just look at tax rates or
count the number of hospitals and com
pare. Because each town is unique,
however, it is impossible to make an
across-the-board comparison.
For example, there are scientific
ways to measure the parts of salt, chlo
rine and fluoride in each town’s water
supply. Measured as such, many of the
cities get high marks in this area. How
ever, the actual taste of the water is
something else. There are those who
will enjoy the straight-from-the-ocean
flavor of our local water while others
will prefer the subtle metallic taste of
McAllen tap water. If there are differ
ing perspectives on something as trivial
as water, imagine the disparity of opin
ions on more substantial issues.
Another problem with the ratings is
the stability involved. This year’s win
ner, Madison, Wis., was ranked 16th
last year. What exactly was the drastic
change in the other 15 cities that were
considered better just last year? And
what happened to last year’s number
one? Could it not live with the pressure
of being America’s best city?
Town leaders boast about the logic
behind the rankings when they are
given a high rating. The next year,
however, when their rating drops,
guess who protest the loudest that the
rankings are not based on any ratio
nal judgment?
The most glaring fault with these
rankings is that they cannot account
for the true feelings of a town’s inhab
itants. Statistically, Madison is this
year’s No. 1 place to live. But if some
one who lives there is basically un
happy, then what kind of consolation
is that?
On the opposite side, do the people
who happily live in Rockdale, Ill., care
that it is ranked dead last? Obviously,
rankings don’t mean much when it
comes to actual environment. But even
if they did, there’s always room in
Brownsville.
Steven Gyeszly is a Class of ’99
finance and sociology major
Columnist
Dole should tap a good
friend to be running mate
B ob Dole is going
to lose.
Perhaps the
biggest problem is
that Dole is seen by
I the electorate as a
[ wrinkly old curmud
geon. Many Ameri-
: cans compare Bob
i Dole to their grandfa
ther — not the pleas-
! ant one who’s got a
loose wallet and the
| pull-my-finger joke,
; but the cantankerous
one who talks about war and tells his
11-year-old granddaughter to get a job
at the textile mill.
So what can the Republican spin doc
tors do to revive the ailing campaign?
The only way for Dole to survive is to
make a wise and intrepid choice con
cerning his running mate.
Some misguided element of the Re
publican leadership thinks that Colin
Powell could be the white-knight candi
date who reopens the door. Ultimately,
however, Powell would be exposed for
what he really is — a Democrat in Re
publican’s clothing.
The most logical mainstream choice
would be New Jersey Gov. Christine
Todd Whitman. Although she seems
reluctant to sit in the number-two
chair, she could definitely help Dole
siphon some female voters away from
Clinton.
But Dole’s never going to survive un
less he gets a little crazy. His only hope
for victory in November will evaporate
unless he picks Jennifer Aniston to be
his vice-presidential running mate.
Aniston would bring a new youthful-
ness to the campaign and will encour
age young people to get out and rock the
mte. But her selection would only be
the first step in a new, sexier strategy
for the Dole campaign.
When Dole secures Aniston’s cooper
ation, his campaign will have to intro
duce a new type of politicking. The new
ploy would best be described as the
locker room stud” strategy.
Dole should use a carefully timed se-
! hes of anonymous press leaks and “no
comments” to imply that he is having an
; affair with Aniston.
It wouldn’t be true. It would be sexist
, and puerile, but so what? If you want
the truth, watch “Hard Copy.” That’s
W&at Americans do.
1 This is presidential politics, and
] 'here exists no greater theater of Machi
avellian tragedy (well, except maybe our
i awn student body president elections,
dut it’s close).
Although allegations and admissions
of infidelity nearly derailed the Clinton
campaign in 1992, a good scandal could
actually boost Dole’s chances. An affair
would assure the voters that if Dole
were ever forced into a pissin’ contest
with another world leader, he’d remem
ber how to unzip his fly.
Aniston isn’t just another pretty face.
Her acting career, though predominant
ly comedic, is filled with performances
where she has examined weighty issues
and taken an impressive stance.
In one current public service an
nouncement, Aniston works to keep
the kids in school, reminding all of us,
“Smart is sexier than stupid any day.”
Last year, by starring in the video
tutorial for Microsoft Windows 95,
Aniston made two things clear: She is
just as ready to get into bed with big
business as any Republican, and she
knows enough about high-tech issues
to supervise the construction of the in
formation superhighway.
And then there was last season’s
riveting “Friends” episode where
Rachel dishes economic philosophy to
Phoebe, ranting that government is
the major source of economic instabili
ty, tariffs keep our industries from
having to adjust to the realities of
world markets and the high unemploy
ment rate of black teenagers is caused
by the meddling of the minimum wage.
OK, those are actually Milton Fried
man’s theories, but Aniston might agree
with some of them. The point is, Aniston
is ready to address the issues.
Unfortunately, the conventional wis
dom suggests Aniston might think twice
about accepting the Republican vice-
presidential nomination. Therefore, it
might be necessary to sweeten the deal.
One of the best ways to do this would
be to allow her to appear scantily clad
on this year’s campaign posters.
Aniston has displayed an affinity for
gratuitous nakedness. In several maga
zine layouts and publicity posters that
feature the entire cast of “Friends,” she
is the only one who isn’t fully clothed.
Also, by pandering to the prurient in
terests of the male voters, Aniston could
encourage a record number of men to
turn up at the polls.
Desperate times call for desperate
measures, and in order to win. Bob Dole
is going to have to try something new.
Adding Aniston to the ticket might be
just what the Republicans need.
And you can take that to “Hard
Copy.”
Jeremy Valdez is a Class of ’96
chemical engineering major
JEREMY
VALDEZ
Columnist
Buffin gets her facts
wrong in column
This letter is in response to Kristina
Buffin’s column from June 17. I’m not
writing about the content, but of this sen
tence from the column: “A&M is no
longer the agriculture and mining school
it was when it opened in 1846.” Hopefully
I’m not the only one who noticed how
huge a mistake this is about the history
of A&M. In 1846 Texas A&M was not
even in the future works yet. It was not
until 1862 with the Morrill Act that
Texas started laying the framework for
the Agricultural and MECHANICAL Col
lege of Texas. Later in October of 1876
the college was opened to students. Also,
anyone who proudly wears an Aggie ring
has the year 1876 under the crest. I do
Mail
Call
not understand how someone who writes
for the Batt could make such a mistake.
Also, the “M” in A&M never stood for
“mining” or “military,” the other common
translation of the letter. I hope that this
was also a misprint. With a history of
tradition here at A&M, I hope this bit of
correct history is not news to those who
read it.
Laura Eustace
Class of ’95
Some drivers don't have
visible handicaps
I wanted to respond to Gina Panzi-
ca’s column from June 19. I am one of
the students on campus whom many ac
cuse of “lying, cheating and stealing my
way” into the handicapped system.
I have received some very nasty let
ters on my car when it is parked in hand
icapped spots. I am not obviously handi
capped to the naked eye, but I do suffer
from severe asthma. Because of the enor
mous size of our campus, I cannot walk
from parking lots to classes without end
ing up in the emergency room.
If you are not handicapped or a med
ical doctor, then I ask you please not to
judge those of us who are. Your letters
simply make me feel badly for something
I have to legitimately do. If your friends
cheat, I am sorry. Maybe you should
speak to them, and not accuse the rest of
us of “lying, cheating and stealing.”
Christi Stiles
Class of’97
The Battalion encourages letters to the editor and
will print as many as space allows. Letters must be
300 words or less and include the author's name,
class, and phone number. We reserve the right to edit
letters for length, style, and accuracy. Letters may be
submitted in person at 013 Reed McDonald. A valid
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