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Spy Hard falls short on laughs
By Jeffrey Cranor
The Battalion
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Spy Hard
Starring Leslie Nielsen amt Nicollette
Sheridan
XNrec^edl toy Rick Friedlierg
Leslie Nielsen’s latest paro
dy, Spy Hard, is comparable to
the greatest American comedic
films of all time (History of the
World Part I, Big, Airplane!,
etc.) because it is a movie and it
was made in America.
The comparison stops there.
Not to downplay the impor
tance of this correlation, but
Spy Hard just does not stand
out in Hollywood’s competitive
and over-packed realm of come
dies, satires and spoofs.
Nielsen plays Dick Steele,
Agent WD-40, who was once
one of The Agency’s top spies.
He quit the team, however, af
ter his partner and lover Victo
ria Dahl dies in Cliffhanger
fashion during an assault on
the evil General Rancor (Andy
Griffith).
Years later, however, The
Agency discovers that Rancor
survived, minus two arms, and
asks Steele back to
help stop the rub
ber-armed general.
Steele declines—
until he learns Ran
cor has captured
Barbara Dahl, the
daughter of his fall
en lover, and
strapped her to the
nose of a missile
that could destroy
the world.
Steele teams up with Russ
ian Veronica Ukrinsky, Agent
3.14 (Nicollette Sheridan), to
help find her father, a scientist,
Leslie Nielsen and Nicollette Sheridan star the
latest parody, Spy Hard.
who has the computer chip that
could provide either world pow
er for Rancor or world peace for
everyone else.
Consistent comedic elements
are lacking. One can not help
but enter the theater with a
make me laugh attitude, which
makes it difficult for the movie
to ever get its humor moving,
let alone its audience rolling.
Many of the scenes rely sole
ly on one gag to bring the audi
ence to laughter, unlike other
successful parodies, that incor
porate several background gags
to supplement the plot or pri
mary joke.
The lack of comedic potential
of Spy Hard was not difficult to
preaict. Nielsen’s most recent
movies havebeen Mel Brooks’
Dracula: Dead
and Loving It.
Surf Ninjas ana
the two Naked
Gun sequels,
that were really
just blanks.
The laughter
in Spy Hard,
consists of the
hearty bellows
are greatly out
numbered by
the mediocre
guffaws. And
even though
there is a role
for Griffith, au
diences should not expect any ap
pearance by Ron Howard.
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Page 3
Too much dribbling, not enough
laughs hurt Goldberg and Eddie
By April Towery
The Battalion
Whoopi Goldberg is far from
her funniest in Eddie. Too
much basketball and not
enough character development
weakens this Steve Rash (Son-
In-Law) film.
Goldberg stars as Edwina
‘Eddie’ Franklin, a limo driver
and die-hard New York Knicks
fan. By winning a free-throw
contest, and thus a one game
stint as honorary coach. She is
then offered a head coaching po
sition by the team’s owner Wild
Bill Burgess (Frank Langella).
Realistic this movie is not. In
an attempt to recreate Hooaiers,
Goldberg tries to pump up the
team as they grow to love and
respect her, despite her lack of
experience in coaching.
Langella does most of the
acting in the movie, whereas
Goldberg relies on her unim
pressive street-smart dialect.
The rest of the cast is primarily
comprised of 49 NBA stars, who
act as well as Goldberg coaches.
The players are each built on
basic stereotypes.
There is Nate Wilson, (John
Salley), who is watching his ca
reer fade due to knee injuries;,
Terry Hastings (Rick Fox),
whose marriage is falling apart
due to an on-the-road fling, Sta-
Eddie
jn Gold!
Langella
SteveVlasb
cy Patton (Malik Sealy), an ego
tistical ball-hog; Darren Taylor
(Mark Jackson), the ‘preacher;’
and Ivan Radovadovitch
(Dwayne Schintzius), whose pri
mary line is “Ivan make basket.”
The characters are underde
veloped. They are in
troduced, their prob
lems are revealed,
then Goldberg sets out
to make everything
better. Her goal is to
reach the players on a
personal level and
therefore become a bet
ter coach.
The problem is, al
though the fans may
love the game and
know each player’s individual
statistics, this does not qualify
them to coach.
Eddie simply does not meet
the expectations of a Whoopi
Goldberg comedy.
Whoopi Goldberg stars as "Eddie," a die-hard New York Knicks fan,
who wins the opportunity to coach the team.
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