The Battalion
ednesday • April 10,Ijj
and forming a timel®, 1
dd.
ve thought they wouIg;.
t choice for a fraterr.:;
iropy.”
MDA was foundein
3 search for cures ail
nts for 40 related nep.
ir diseases,
association sponsors!
ide research progra;
makes it the nation
voluntary organizati;
,ing scientific investifa
leuromuscular disease.
- Burton Farmers-
ton Gin Festm
end of Fun for Everyott'
day Night, April 19
Dance 8pm-Midnitewi
> Texas
Unlimited
ck off the Festival and lai
r heels for just $5. $
- don't forget Fridai/is-
rntval Arm BaxdNie
Saturday Night'!'
April 20 /
:nny Dee&thi
Rocket 88's
roll from 8pm-midnite
tee with a festival tided
at the gate.
ill be available both mm'
on’t Miss
Messina
Hof’s
wine &
Roses
Festival
Saturday,
.pril 13 th
)am - 4pm:
Free I
dmission,
Free Tours
& Tastings
Team Grape
Stomping
Texas Artist
Competition
issic Car Clubs!
orsche, Miata,
Alfa Romeo
eyard Hay Rides
Petting Zoo
Wts & Crafts
kyard Monsters
iruvian Horses
i Entertainment!
ugene-Eugene
imental JGurnets
Fish Drill lean'
»od & Fun For
i Whole Family
2ssina Ho)
Old Reliance!^
Bryan, TX
778-9463
WEDNESDAY
April 10, 1996
Opinion
Page 11
Q? For less than a penny,
students can get the
hassle of a lifetime
£
Chris
Stidvent
Columnist
D ear CHRISTIAN
STURDIVANT:
Congratula
tions! We here at the
Rockola CD Club
have just received
your order for the
four-part CD series ti
tled Billy Blue and
the Woo Woo
Boogaloo.
On behalf of all of us here at Ftockola,
I'd like to welcome you on board as a lis
tener of SOFT POP/JAZZ. We hope that
you will enjoy your new status as a
member of the Rockola music family.
Enclosed you will find a bill for
$60.00. We encourage you to pay it all
at once in our easy one-time payment
system. Why don’t you get that check in
the mail as soon as possible? Thanks a
lot and welcome aboard.
Dear Ftockola CD Club: I am a bit
confused. I have no recollection of order
ing any CDs from your club, ever. And
believe me, if I had ordered a CD from a
music club, it would not be Billy Blue
and the Woo Woo Boogaloo.
I loathe soft pop, and I have never
heard of Billy Blue. I hope that this let
ter will assist you in clearing up this
matter as soon as possible.
P.S. My name is not Christian Stur
divant, it’s Chris Stidvent.
Dear CHRISTIAN STURDIVANT: Oops!
It appears that something has gone
wrong here! According to our records, we
sent you the first two CDs in your new
series, Billy Blue and the Woo Woo
Boogaloo, five weeks ago. According to
our records, we have yet to receive any
payment from you. Shame, shame!
We here at Rockola are confident that
this is just an oversight on your part, and
we are gladly offering you the chance to
pay us again. Best wishes in clearing up
this little misunderstanding as soon as
possible. Sincerely,
Rockola.
Dear Rockola
CD Club: Per
haps you didn’t
receive my first
letter. As I said
then, I never or
dered any CDs
from your club.
Once again, I know nothing
about Billy Blue and the Woo
Woo Boogaloo. You sent me these
two CDs; I am returning them. I
never listened to them. I never
opened them. I don’t want them.
I hope this will letter terminate all
correspondence between us. Thank you.
Dear CHRISTIAN STURDIVANT, Come
now, MR. STURDIVANT, haven’t you
been reading your mail? We know that,
by now, you have received all four of
the Billy Blue CDs that you ordered.
Since you have not returned
them or sent us any explana
tion, we must assume that you
are completely satisfied
with them.
Now, we here at Rockola
can “groove” with what it’s like
to be a fan of SOFT POP/JAZZ. We
understand that sometimes you can get so
“caught up in the feeling” that you forget
that all of that great music costs money.
We’re sending you another bill, and
we have to ask you to take care of this
one as soon as possible. Thanks!
Dear Crapola CD Company: For the
last time, stop bothering me. I realize
that, as a college student with little
time and money, 1 might seem to be a
defenseless target for ruthless, mass
marketing campaigns such as your own.
As of this moment, your company has
sent me the same four CDs on eight dif
ferent occasions. I returned the Woo
Wooers the first five times, clearly this
gesture was ignored.
Since then, my friends and I have
enjoyed taking Billy Blue’s collection
to the park and throwing it into the
river. Time after time, he provides us
with hours of amusement. Rest as
sured, you will have to send your band
of Mafioso thumb-breakers after me
before I pay your company one thin
cent. Good day.
MR. STURDIVANT: As a good Ameri
can, you must realize that even in the
land of the free, you can never get
something for nothing. Rockola CD
Club has been patient; they have been
kind. They sent you your CDs; you
sent them nothing.
They have now turned your account
over to us, the Luigi and Associates Cred
it Agency. We have you scheduled for a
beating two weeks from today unless you
pay Rockola what you owe them.
Allow me to repeat myself, CHRIST
IAN, this is your last warning. Pay
your bills!
Dear Luigi and Associates: I regret to
inform you that Christian Sturdivant
passed away two weeks ago. You read
that correctly.
I am now dead. Even if I wanted to,
I could never pay you now. Once again,
I am currently deceased.
Dear MR. STURDIVANT'S next of kin:
We are sorry to hear of your FRIEND OR
FAMILY MEMBER'S illness! We realize
that these next few months will be
times of much grief and distress. Per
haps we here at Rockola could help you
ease the pain!
Mysteriously, we have just discovered
an extra supply of one of our most popu
lar CDs, Billy Blue and the Woo Woo
Boogaloo, hidden here in our warehouses.
Well send you one, completely has
sle free.
Chris Stidvent is a senior English
and philosophy major
imder arrest
to ^
, HHSSStMJ
teeth, impaired
bKMZ&JUm
We can’t rely on MTV to woo young voters
A t all the music con
certs I’ve attended in
the past few years,
I’ve never seen a politician.
No Pat Buchanan at Pearl
Jam, Ross Perot at R.E.M.,
Steve Forbes at Smashing
Pumpkins or Bill Clinton
at Belly.
This isn’t surprising, of
course, as watching any of these fossils in a
mosh pit might induce laughter followed by
911 calls to get them emergency care.
No politician would take such extreme
measures to reach out to young people. But
even less extreme measures are often ignored.
’This probably began with the “Generation
X” fiasco. Young people were slapped with the
label of disaffected, and a stereotype was bom.
Maybe this is why politicians so often ig
nore the young vote. MTV, despite its relative
ly declining stature as a music authority, has
done its part to boost voting ages among
young people with its “Choose or Lose” cam
paign. During the 1992 presidential race, fo
rums with diverse groups of teens fired ques
tions at political candidates to determine the
exact size of the generation gap. What proved
fascinating was the candidate participation.
Although Clinton and Perot accepted forum
invitations, then-President George Bush de
clined. Perhaps he envisioned being inter
viewed by one of MTV’s resident geniuses.
“Yo, yo, yo, this is Eric Nies on The
Griiiiiiind\ We got Snoop Dog
gy Dogg coming up with a
track off his Doggy style al
bum, but right now, I have
with me my main man, F*resi-
dent Georgie George Bush!”
Bush: Well, thank you, Eric,
it’s a pleasure to be here.
Nies: Yeah, so what’s up with
that re-election thang?
Bush: Well, we’re out there trying to get
our message out to —
Nies (interrupting): Awwwwwww yeah,
that’s what I’m talkin’ about. Yo G, thanks
for coming by, why don’t you introduce the
next video?
Bush: Uh, OK, this is the latest jam from
Snoopy Doggy Doo Doo — is that right? This
is called, oh my goodness, “Gin and Juice.” Is
that Kurt Loder or that nice Tabitha Soren
around here somewhere?
As with anything on MTV, a little immatu
rity is to be expected. The “boxers or briefs”
question posed to Clinton wasn’t quite what
MTV executives had in mind, but the forums
did provide a new avenue of communication
between two different age groups. Of course,
anyone depending on MTV for news, history
or political coverage probably should catch a
clue (Hint: McCarthyism has nothing to do
with Singled Out! host Jenny McCarthy).
With the ’96 campaign in full bloom, some
have begun to pay attention to young voters.
Bob Dole has already had an extensive inter
view with Soren, and Clinton’s success in ’92
should translate into future MTV appearances
before November. But it isn’t just appearing
on the network that makes a statement, it’s
addressing the issues that matter to young
people. Soren threw blunt questions at Dole
about abortion, homosexuality and violence in
entertainment instead of dancing around
what can be dangerous issues.
But on the opposite end is Perot, who paid
a visit to A&M two weeks ago. What seemed
to be an outreach opportunity for his Reform
Party turned ugly, as Perot turned testy with
some students’ questions.
When asked why young voters who Eire dis
illusioned with political rhetoric should sup
port the Reform Party, Perot barked, “I don’t
care whether you vote for our party or not. I’ve
already made that clear.”
While his public relations crew was probably
cringing in fear of the effects of such a reaction,
Perot remained agitated, and his statements
prompted the headline ‘Perot snaps at student
questioners” in the Austin American-States-
man. If Perot, or whoever represents his Re
form Party, can truly represent young America,
his reception would be much better. To use his
own physical analogy, were all ears.
Young voters should not be ignored. We
don’t need “I believe the children are our fu
ture” schmaltz-fests or condemning labels.
Just a little respect now and then.
Rob Clark is a senior journalism major
Muster rules strive
to be fair for all
Muster exception
should be the rule
I am writing in response to a
letter printed last week concern
ing Muster. I would like to clear
up any misconceptions concern
ing the campus Muster ceremony
and the criteria used for the Ftoll
Call list.
Muster on campus honors
currently enrolled students,
members of Brazos County and
members of the 50-year re
union class who return to cam
pus for Muster to celebrate
their golden anniversary.
People who fall within this
criteria are guaranteed to be
part of the Roll Call; however,
the committee also tries to ac
commodate people with special
circumstances. These requests
are considered in April. This is
to ensure that, given our time
and space constraints in G. Rol-
lie White, we are able to accom
modate those who fall within
the general criteria first.
These rules have been estab
lished with only fairness in mind.
They may sound rigid at first, but
with the large number of stu
dents and former students who
pass away each year, they must
be enforced.
The people on the committee
with whom I work take their re
sponsibilities seriously. Many
times they have difficult deci
sions, but they always hold
themselves with dignity and
grace. They give freely of their
time and service, and they are to
be commended.
There are over 400 Musters
around the world on April 21st,
and our Ftoll Call is no more spe
cial than any of those. This cere
mony may be the most grand, but
whether it is here; Henderson,
Texas; New York City; Great
Falls, Montana; or Okinawa,
Japan, the spirit and beauty re
main consistent. Muster is what
sets Aggies apart and what binds
us together, no matter where we
are in the world.
Kim Greebon
Class of’96
I wish to thank the Muster
Committee for making an excep
tion to its criteria allowing my
mother (Class of ’75) to be on the
Roll Call at the A&M Muster. I
also want to apologize to anyone
who felt I was attacking Muster.
That is the last thing my letter
(Mail Call April 4) was intended
to do. In fact, I wrote the letter
because I felt my mother might
be excluded from the most im
portant Aggie tradition. That is
why I want to make it clear that
I still disagree with the Muster
Committee’s criteria for the Ftoll
Call. I understand that not every
Aggie who died in the past year
can be on the Roll Call at this
one Muster.
However, my point is that I
live in College Station. The
Muster I am supposed to attend
is at G. Ftollie White. Therefore,
my mother’s case should not be
an exception, but be part of the
criteria. I state again that I think
the Muster Committee should
change its criteria, because situa
tions like this will occur again. I
did not intend to discourage any
one from attending Aggie
Muster. I hope everyone will
come out and be a part of the
most important Aggie Tradition.
James A. Hodges
Class of ’91
Christine Hodges
Class of’92
The Battalion encourages letters to the
editor and will print as many as space al
lows. Letters must be 300 words or less
and include the author's name, class, and
phone number.
We reserve the right to edit letters for
length, style, and accuracy. Letters may be
submitted in person at 013 Reed McDon
ald. A valid student ID is required. Letters
may also be mailed to:
The Battalion - Mail Call
013 Reed McDonald
Texas A&M University
College Station, TX
77843-1111
Fax: (409) 845-2647
E-mail: Batt@tamvm1 .tamu.edu