The Battalion
Opinion
Tuesday
November 21, 1995
Family values taught by example
Alex
Miller
Columnist
uccess is achieving
what you don’t have,
Happiness is being
content with the things you
do have.” This is a saying
that caught my attention, de
spite being the slogan for a
beer commercial.
I have hope for the future.
Recent census data shows
that in the last few years the divorce rate
has declined. It is only by a very small mar
gin, but nevertheless a decline.
It is something that I predicted. With so
many today being the product of dysfunc
tional homes, it seems our society is finally
placing greater importance on lifetime com
mitments than previous generations.
It hasn’t been easy. Except for a relative
few, Hollywood stars, sports figures and talk
show hosts who inundate our television
screen have made bed-hopping look like the
number one past time in the land of the free.
In fact, just the other day I heard that
Melissa Etheridge, professed lesbian rock
star, was shopping for sperm, because she
and her girlfriend wanted to have a child
together.
Now I’m no expert, but it seems to me
there is some profound reason, be it scientif
ic or religious, that a man and a woman are
both needed for procreation, which brings
me to my point.
Never in my life was I told that one’s fam
ily was the most important possession. Not
once did I hear this, and yet I know it to be
true. No one ever said this because I was
taught by example.
I was taught by a couple who went to my
church. They had been together for what
seemed like eternity, and yet they never took
each other for granted. They were involved
in almost everything the town had to offer,
but never sought the limelight.
They were pillars of the church
— he served as an usher and
she was the secretary.
This couple had two kids of
whom they were obviously
proud. They made them attend
church even though the kids of
ten didn’t want to go. They said
it was important because “The
one time God decides to speak to you, it is
important to be present,” so the kids went.
Their son played soccer at least once a
week, and though he never really asked
them and never really thanked them, they
could always be found on the sidelines.
There was always time to take the kids
camping or to make them the exact birth
day cake they wanted. While they may tell
you it was never a sacrifice, they were al
ways sacrificing.
I never knew them to utter a word in
hate, and learned from them to respect oth
ers and their ideas. They taught their kids
right and wrong and let them know it was
not always popular to be right and not al
ways right to be popular.
This couple stood behind their kids re
gardless, giving them the confidence and
background to succeed.
Since I’ve been in college they have
served as youth counselors for my church,
where many more kids have had the privi
lege of interacting with them and calling
them their friends.
I haven’t always considered myself lucky
to know them, but as I get older, I find
there is nothing I could have done without
them. The people I speak of are not just the
friendliest people in my hometown — they
are my parents.
They have been a driving force in my life
and have, even without me knowing it,
taught me nothing is more important than
my family. Whenever I feel like the world is
going against everything I believe, I can al
ways look to my parents’ examples to know
what is right and proper.
I am not insinuating that we don’t argue
and fight — we’re good at it — but no matter
what, my family stands ever vigilant in sup
port of me. I hope I can take the things I
have learned from them and shape those
things into the way I will deal with my fami
ly someday. I hope I will be glad to make
the kind of sacrifices a family requires when
that time comes.
Never in my life was I told that
one's family was the most impor
tant possession. Not once did I
hear this, yet I know it to be true.
Alex Haley, the author of Roots, once
said, “Every time one of the old folks in our
family passes away, it is like a library
burning down.”
Maybe someday I will equate my parents
with a library filled with a wealth of stories,
but for now they are like a well-worn set of
encyclopedias which detail exactly how this
‘parenting’ thing should be done.
Several years ago, success to me meant
having lots of money; now, success means
becoming half the person either one of my
parents are. I may never achieve that, but
I will always be content as Phil and Mari
on’s son.
If you have skipped over the mushy junk
in this column, I have only one point: Family
matters. Thanks, Mom and Dad.
Alex Miller is senior
bioenvironmental science major
caNT cut this.
cauY cut That teviT-
vlWWA THEY EXfEcT
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Stress can lead to domestic violence
Juan
Hernandez
Columnist
S mack! Julia went
crashing to the floor.
And there stood her
boyfriend, demanding an
other cold beer.
This story is all too fa
miliar to many people.
Though incidents like this
often occur in the home, in
secret, making them sort of
invisible to the rest of society and hard to
identify, they do happen.
Domestic violence is a serious crime
which is quite prevalent throughout the
United States. Unfortunately, women more
often become the target of a frustrated
boyfriend or husband’s inability to cope with
outside pressures, though certainly, domes
tic violence can affect both men and women.
For example, a few weeks ago in Hous
ton, a terrible case of domestic violence sur
prised the community.
A young woman from South America who
was living in Houston lost both her legs af
ter her boyfriend shot her with a shotgun.
Apparently, this man could not find em
ployment and was upset by the fact that
his girlfriend had a job and was supporting
him. So, one day he demanded she stay
home, and when she refused he shot her
twice, once in each leg. The young woman
is now a double amputee confined to a
wheel chair.
Abuse related to domestic violence seems
to occur more frequently and escalates in
[severity during stressful periods in the at
tacker’s life. I do not mean to imply that it
does not occur in the course of a typical day,
because that is not the case.
However, with the end of the semester
quickly approaching, many individuals
may find themselves experiencing unusual
ly high levels of stress, and therefore might
be more prone to lose their tempers Lind
lash out at another in an abu
sive way.
End of the semester stresses
like waiting to work on a 15
page research paper the night
before its deadline, or cramming
for five ‘cumulative’ finals all be
ing held on the same day.
I understand that many of us
have a social life which is more
important than school or a job which may
seem to work us to death. However, post
poning a project or studying the night before
an exam may lead to feelings of being
trapped and overwhelmed.
Unfortunately, when people begin to
buckle under the burden of outside pres
sures, they usually get frustrated and an
gry. This desperate feeling may lead to some
type of physical or emotional abuse against
the nearest person.
Sadly, the abuse usually falls upon some
one you care for, such as a girlfriend,
boyfriend, spouse or friend.
The relationships which may be most
valuable may also be most vulnerable to do
mestic violence caused by stress.
Fkir example, when I was freshman there
was a guy named George who lived a few
doors down from my dorm room. He was a
senior, working on his last semester of un
dergraduate course work.
However, he enjoyed his last semester a
little too much, and at the end of the
term, he found himself facing three cumu
lative finals and a 10-page paper, com
pletely unprepared.
George began to panic and starting at
tempting to work out the situation; howev
er, he found that he had painted himself
into a corner as far as his study time goes.
Lisa,George’s girlfriend, had planned on
helping him study for his test. However,
when she arrived at his dorm, George lost
control, and he beat her black and blue.
It was sobering to realize how destructive
someone could be when pushed too hard. In
many cases, college students do not realize
the possible dangers of the situation they
have created by their procrastination, and
suddenly, the required work of a semester is
thrown into a week or less.
This situation creates an atmosphere in
which domestic violence is a serious possi
bility.
People of all walks of life, including col
lege students, should conscientiously take
the time to develop methods which might
aid in dealing with stress better.
College students do not realize
the possible dangers of the situ
ation they create with their
procrastination ...
These strategies do not need to be elabo
rate psychological methods. As long as the
strategy helps an individual cope with
stress in a constructive way, it is most defi
nitely worthwhile.
For instance, if you find yourself com
pletely overwhelmed with your studies or
work, step away from it and take a short
walk. Or take a few deep breathes and
count to one trillion, whatever it takes to re
lieve some of the frustration and pressure
festering inside.
In other words, do whatever you need
to do to prevent an unfortunate incident
from occurring.
Just make sure you do not take out your
frustrations on another individual, however,
especially someone you care about.
Juan Hernandez is a senior
psychology major
Mail
Cain pool benefits
A&M, community
Raising Cain. Cain pool, that
is. The Board of Regents will de
cide in December about demolish
ing the outdoor Cain pool.
An olympic-size outdoor pool
should not be tossed away. Out
door pools have zero air-condi
tioning and heating costs.
Although the new Rec center
has a large indoor pool, indoor
and outdoor swimming are not
at all equivalent experiences,
and its outdoor pool is definitely
not for conditioning or racing.
Cain Pool would be very at
tractive with surrounding
hedges and a poolside unroofed
shower/locker area, a la Barton
Springs in Austin.
Indoor swimming is artificial
and inferior as compared to sun,
grass, clouds and breeze. The
myriad of short summer pro
grams held at A&M for pre-col
lege students are much better
served by Cain pool.
Cain is much more convenient
for regular campus users during
the day, who create street traffic
to get the new facility.
A&M needs to give more
thought to tradition as it relates
to campus structures. Alumni
are always happier if they recog
nize their alma mater.
The Available Fund tends to
drives out older structures as
does the view of Physical Plan,
which prefers new buildings re
quiring very little maintenance.
We should look beyond just
those influences.
The essentia] thing is to post
pone a decision to destroy the pool
until present and former students
make their views known.
Cain pool was presented to
A&M by the Association of For
mer Students and has not out
lived its usefulness. The Regents
would take notice of letters from
present and former students.
A&M should support reality, as
opposed to plastic simulations.
Going back to natural turf in Kyle
Field is the first step. Keeping
Cain pool should be the second.
R.A.Kenefick
Professor of Physics
Beatles hype not
true affection
What’s with The Beatles
popularity contest? It seems as
though everyone is trying to
outdo each other in their elabo
rate recollections of childhood
Beatles memories.
It makes me laugh when some
fool actually says that they think
they understand the music better
than their parents.
I don’t think that we’ll ever
understand or experience the
complete lunacy that went
hand-in-hand with Beatle ap
pearances and releases. (That
is, until New Kids on the Block
stages their long overdue re
union tour.)
Ask those same people about
The Beatles a year or two from
now, and I doubt you’ll get any
answers involving crayons or
church gospel substitutions. I
also hope that MTV realizes
some things should be left
alone and doesn’t make “Free
as a bird” one of their flavor of
the month Buzz-Clips.
Thomas Arnold
Class of ’95
Buffin, editorial
misses R.C/s point
Nitpicking commentary in a
college newspaper is common
place and is normally accept
able. It is understood that the
writer has limited experience
and is prone to making un
founded statements and exer
cising poor judgment.
However, the Nov. 15 sports
column by Kristina Buffin and
the editorial regarding
“Ladies’ Chalk Talk with R.C.”
beg for a response.
First of all, do not assume
that you or any feminist speak
for all women. More than 200
women attended Tuesday
night’s event, which was orga
nized by women who wanted to
learn more about football.
Coach R.C. Slocum gracious
ly accepted their invitation,
taking valuable time from his
busy schedule.
Buffin chastises R.C. for
starting his discussion with the
assumption that the audience
knew little about football. He
obviously meant nothing
derogatory, however.
Should he have started with
a detailed discussion of a two-
deep zone defense or a nickel
package?
The point is that R.C.
Slocum was there at the re
quest of women, many of whom
admitted that they did not
know the basics of football.
In addition, the A&M athlet
ic department does not host the
Quarterback Club, which is an
independent entity. Likewise,
the “Chalk Talk” was a private
ly organized event that invited
R.C. as a guest.
Since very few women have
ever played football — and a
large number of men have in
some form — it is not sexist to
assume that women lack the
same degree of knowledge that
men may possess about the
game. That is reality.
Basically, don’t try to tell me
or any other women when we
should be offended. I wear my Ag
gie ring with pride and I support
Aggie athletics, men or women.
R.C. Slocum has a deep ap
preciation and respect for all of
Texas A&M’s football fans,
male or female.
Elizabeth Dalton
Class of ’90
• This letter is in response to
Kristina Buffin’s Nov. 15 sports
column about R.C. Slocum’s
“Chalk Talk.” I was really sur
prised about everything was
blown way out of proportion.
I was at the Quarterback
Club meeting when Tim Cassidy
announced that R.C. was going
to hold this “Chalk Talk.”
This session was really for
those women who do not know
much at all, if anything, about
the game of football and what
takes place out on the field.
I’m sure some people were of
fended in some of the things he
said. But he has to start at the
beginning for those who know
nothing and not in the middle
and lose a few people.
It would be ridiculous to say
that R.C. Slocum, the 2nd win-
ningest active coach in Div. 1-A
and someone who’s been here at
A&M for over 20 years, purpose
ly went out with the intention to
offend women, get real.
I’ve got a grandmother and
mother who could have used his
session because they are exam
ples of women who don’t know
what is going on and ask the
same questions over and over.
And yes, as men we some
times don’t have the patience to
tell them repeatedly the answers
they seek.
But Coach Slocum had the
class and patience to set this
thing up. No one said that all
women don’t know anything
about football, but there are
some that don’t and I’m sure
that some of those women fill
our stands on Saturday.
As for the cartoon that ac
companied the column, we
thought it was totally tasteless
to make fun of our own coach,
who has done a hell of a job for
the Aggie football program.
Greg Londrie
Class of ’99
Mark Hodgson
Class of ’99
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