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Monday
October 23, 1995
The Battalion
Opinion
Some products never meant to bear A&M seal
Chris
Stidvent
Columnist
B oy, and I thought
the Home Shopping
Network was a su
per invention.
It offers an unparal
leled variety of products
that make acrylic profiles
of Elvis Presley painted on
black velvet look classy.
I can just lie on the
couch and order vegetable dehydrators and
aerosol cans of spray-on hair, reaching for the
telephone with one flip of my nimble wrist.
But my idolization of the HSN is over now that
I’ve seen the November issue of the Texas Aggie,
which bills itself as “The Alumni Magazine of
Texas A&M University.”
While I was looking through it I came across
all kinds of wacky advertisements for products
bearing the illustrious A&M seal.
With such a wide variety of purchasable goods.
I’m sure there’s a little something in there for
each and every taste-conscious consumer.
As I flipped through the magazine, I was almost
immediately confronted with the opportunity to buy
my own set of “Texas A&M Branding Irons.” I could
choose between the ceremonial gold-plated copy and
the more affordable nickel-plated model.
I assume that since this one isn’t coated in
precious metal, it’s suitable for everyday use.
Lest one fears that their iron might be damaged
after they have snuck up behind one of their clos
est friends and scarred him forever with the Uni
versity logo, the ad lets us know that, “The nickel
iron may be heated by almost any source ... and
will brand materials such as leather or wood.”
Now you can’t tell me that your best friend’s hide
is tougher than a good piece of mahogany.
Not only is it an attractive conversation
piece, it’s good for some old-fashioned fami
ly fun and discipline.
If Johnny brings home some bad grades
after his first semester of building bonfire
and drinking beer, his father can simply
whip out his “Official Aggie Branding Iron”
and go to work.
The last page of the magazine gave me
the chance to buy an “Official Texas A&M
Lamp” with a “richly detailed, three-dimensional
re-creation of the University Seal.”
Unfortunately, I had already ordered another
Aggie lamp advertised a few pages earlier.
Nobody let me know that I was only buying a
fraudulent copy of an official Aggie product. Damn, I
always get stuck with the unofficial stuff.
Toward the middle of the magazine, hidden
among a slew of the usual decals, bumper stickers,
gaudy T-shirts and stuffed replica mascots, is the ul
timate in offensive Aggie paraphernalia.
For those proud Aggies who aren’t content to
spend their entire lives surrounded by glitzy
remnants of the University they once attended,
Oak Grove International is providing them with
a little something that will outlive even the most
ancient fightin’ Texas Aggie cadet.
That’s right, it’s the Texas A&M coffin. As the
advertisement says, “Rest Assured this perma
nent fiberglass ‘Aggie’ casket will provide the
stability and peace of mind on your most impor
tant journey.”
I assume they’re talking about our spiritual
journey into Aggie Heaven, not our physical trip
6 feet under the ground.
A call to the company that manufactures this
thing revealed some further information. It costs be
tween $3,500 and $4,000, and they have had about
I’m really
two dozen orders over the past year.
I promise I’m not making this up
not this clever.
Regrettably, the coffin doesn’t play the “Aggie
War Hymn” each time that it is opened and closed,
so I guess we won’t all be able
to sound off and hump it the
next time one of our loved ones
is buried.
That’s probably pretty lucky
for our yell leaders. I would hate
for them to have to hop from fu
neral to funeral, rousing
the grief-stricken at
tendees into a tear
ful chorus of
“Hullabaloo.”
I have but
one question
before I rush to
the phone to
put my very own
coffin on layaway
until the time
rolls around for my last
Aggie hurrah.
Who in the hell is responsible
for this?
Is our University so financially destitute
that it has to resort to slapping its logo onto any
piece of fiberglass junk that a company can come
up with?
We have the money to put up million-dollar
statues all over campus, but we still have to
squeeze every last penny out of our University’s
name and seal.
Perhaps I am being a bit hasty in my rush to
pass judgment.
Maybe we are getting an even tradeoff. Our Uni
versity gets around $50 for each official Aggie coffin
that is sold, and all we have to give up is our self-re
spect as a credible academic institution.
That’s right, Harvard can proudly say it may
not have its own official casket (Just imagine —
Part of the Ivy League series! Collect them all!),
but A&M is making more money as we
paste our University name onto every
conceivable product.
Maybe I just need to get into the
spirit of pure capitalism.
Surely there are some more things
Texas A&M University could license to
make money.
How about an “Official Texas
Aggie Toilet Brush” or your
very own “Official Ag
gie Spittoon?”
We have
apparently
realized that
the limits of
good taste
are not firm
boundaries
but only
gentle and
easily dis-
missable sug
gestions.
Nothing can stop
us now.
See, there are ways to use the system, we just
have to start trying harder.
Chris Stidvent is a senior
English and philosophy major
When in doubt, ‘just table it’
lack of leadership skills
wanted to reconsider the bill.
Some debate was continuing from guests
when, out of the blue, a senator made a mo
tion to table the bill. He said the senators
needed more time to think this over and to
talk to their constituents.
His motion passed and the Student Sen
ate tabled the bill. I left at midnight.
After hours of my time was spent with
an interest in the outcome of the bill, they
tabled it.
Mr. student body president, do you want
to know what looks terrible? The Student
Senate, in general, doesn’t know whether to
scratch its watch or wind its rear-end.
After two weeks of talking to
constituents and two hours of
debate, the Student Senate took
absolutely no action whatsoever.
It has no opinion.
It looked terrible — not because the po
sition that I would advocate did not pass —
but because after two weeks of talking to
constituents and two hours of debate, it did
not take any action.
It did not repeal the 1993 bill, but the
senate looked more indecisive than ever.
From what I hear, many student senators
fancy themselves future politicians. Just a
word of advice for you little Gingriches and
Clintons ... just because you are called “stu
dent leaders” on campus doesn’t mean you
can lead.
Most leaders take action without needing
an extra week for more pats on the back or
words of good cheer.
It is apparent from the debacle last week
that the majority of the Student Senate
wouldn’t know leadership or decisiveness if
it came up and shook hands wbth them.
Lydia Percival is a senior journalism
and political science major
The Student Senate suffers from indecision and
L ast Wednesday night, I
witnessed possibly the
most pathetic meeting
I have ever attended.
I have seen hard issues
such as abortion and rights
of homosexuals debated be
tween two sides who were
both intensely passionate
about their beliefs.
In these meetings I witnessed both great
and terrible leadership.
Last Wednesday the Student Senate was
not debating about the lives of unborn chil
dren or the rights of a certain group of people.
They were debating the Truth in Repre
sentation bill. This bill would have repealed
a bill passed by the Student Senate in 1993.
Whew! Sounds like a tough one.
The bill to be repealed was a compro
mise which recommended a three-hour
multiculturalism course requirement be
implemented.
Whether it was a good or bad bill is not at
all relevant.
What matters is the pathetic lack of forti
tude and decisiveness displayed at a Texas
A&M Student Senate meeting.
I am not criticizing all of the Student Sen
ate. Some senators acted in the interest of
the Senate and the University.
However, most acted purely in the inter
est of uselessness.
The debate on the Truth in Representa
tion bill did not begin until around 10 p.m.,
a full two and a half hours after the meet
ing began.
When the debate did finally start, it was
well done. Many wanted the bill passed be
cause they didn’t want a multiculturalism
requirement. Many wanted it passed be
cause they wanted a six-hour requirement.
And, many did not want it passed until
they passed the six-hour requirement be
cause then it would look like the Student
Senate didn’t care about minorities.
In this debate, both sides of the argu
ment continually used the
phrase “We must do what our
constituents want.”
It doesn’t take a rocket sci
entist to figure out how the
majority of the student body
here feels on the multicultural
ism requirement.
They do not want it.
However, because the Student
Senate were unaware of this silent majority
against required multicultural classes, it
spent the two weeks prior to this meeting
having constituent days and holding forums
to find out what its constituents wanted.
One would think it could have figured out
what its constituents desired, and at first, it
seemed as though it had.
The Student Senate voted, approving the
repeal of the 1993 bill. This was some time
before 11 p.m. Then a senator turned around
and realized, “Jeepers creepers, we did not
get the input of our many guests. Oh my,
what if they don’t like our decision?”
So a senator asked that the bill be recon
sidered so that they could know what the
guests present thought of the bill. This
meant that they would throw out the previ
ous vote and start all over.
Keep in mind this was more than three
hours after the meeting began.
The senators had just spent two weeks
trying to figure out what was on the minds
of students. Every 7 guest who was present
had the opportunity in the last two weeks to
attend a forum or go to Constituency Day in
the MSG.
Our fine, all beauty but no brains student
body president stood up and gave an impas
sioned plea that the senate reconsider this
bill because if it didn’t, it would look like it
didn’t care.
He then scolded the Senate and said that
it would look terrible if it passed this bill be
cause it would be inexcusable for the Stu
dent Senate to have no opinion.
He was met with applause by those who
Lydia
Percival
Columnist
•V
The Battalion
Editorials Board
Established in 1893
Editorials appearing in The Battalion reflect the views
of the editorials board. They do not necessarily reflect
the opinions of other Battalion staff members, the
Texas A&M student Jy, regents, administration,
faculty or staff. Columns, guest columns, cartoons
and letters express the opinions of the authors.
Contact the opinion editor for information on
submitting guest columns.
Rob Clark
Editor in Chief
Sterling Hayman
Managing Editor
Kyle Littlefield
Opinion Editor
Elizabeth Preston
Assistant Opinion Editor
Howdy Duty
Forgetting to say 'Howdy' could
have worldwide repercussions.
Today is the kickoff for the
annual Howdy Week at
Texas A&M University. The
Traditions Council’s focus on
the revival of this tradition
gives much-needed attention
to a most serious problem on
our campus.
An annual lull, which usu
ally occurs after midterms,
threatens the existence of the
very glue that holds Ag-
gieland together.
No more “Howdy” means
downtrodden students, who, if
allowed to continue in poor
spirits, would affect the entire
community. Soon, the Brazos
Valley would undergo econom
ic hardship from the negativi
ty which abounds on our cam
pus. If left unchecked, there is
no telling how far this illness
might spread.
The very pillars of our so
ciety are not immune from
the repercussions.
Indeed, the death of the
“Howdy” tradition can only
signal one thing: the decline
of western civilization as we
know it.
What else would we be left to
say? Hello? Hi? How’s it goin’?
A greeting like “Howdy”
proves to the world that we in
habit the friendliest campus in
the world. Without our friendli
ness, the world’s happiness quo
tient would surely plunge.
Without “Howdy,” could
Texas really claim to be the
Lone Star state, or America,
the land of the free?
There is no need to look
away or turn one’s head when
another student passes on the
sidewalk. Ignoring others will
only contribute to the problem.
It is the students’ duty to let
“Howdy” live in their hearts
and on their lips.
This duty must even super
sede responsibilities as a U.S.
citizen or as a member of the
human family.
For if we do not qualify our
every conversation with
“Howdy,” indeed, we have
said nothing at all.
Stealing is bad:
watching is worse
I am writing to describe a
scene I recently witnessed at one
of College Station’s finer eateries.
Many of us are familiar with
the A&M artwork that adorns the
walls of restaurants around town.
Before leaving one of these
restaurants, a person there decid
ed to steal one of these drawings.
This was brought to my atten
tion as he streaked across the
parking lot, picture in hand, and
jumped into a truck.
It is not surprising that some
one would do something like this;
we all know that there are class
less people everywhere.
However, the reaction of the
people who had seen this event
take place was sad.
They looked at each other with
JVIail
Call
sheepish grins, all with the
knowledge that what had oc
curred was wrong.
Not a single person had the
courage to try to stop the guy.
The reaction of the people who
had witnessed the scene lends a
disturbing insight into the men
talities of us in the restaurant.
Apathy sucks.
Gregory McClellan Lowry
Class of ’98
The Battalion encourages letters to the
editor and will print as many as space al
lows. Letters must be 300 words or less
and include the author's name, class and
phone number.
We reserve the right to edit letters for
length, style and accuracy. Letters may be
submitted in person at 01 3 Reed McDon
ald. A valid student ID is required. Letters
may also be mailed to:
The Battalion - Mail Call
013 Reed McDonald Fax:
Texas A&M University (409) 845-2647
College Station, TX E-mail:
77843-1111 Batt@tamvm1 .tamu.edu