Thursday • July 6, 1995 Page 5 • The Battalion Top four men’s seeds march into ^{^imbledon semis □ Top seed Andre Agassi will face Goran Ivanise vic while Pete Sampras squares off against Boris Becker on Saturday. WIMBLEDON, England (AP) — Andre Agassi led a historic march of the top four seeds into the Wimbledon semifinals today. Agassi was joined in the final four by two-time defending champion and No. 2 seed Pete Sampras, No. 3 Boris Becker and No. 4 Goran Ivanisevic. It marks the first time since seeding began in 1927 that the top four men’s and women’s seeds have reached the semifi nals at Wimbledon. The women’s semifinalists are top-seeded Steffi Graf, No. 2 Aran- & txa Sanchez Vic- ario. No. 3 Con- chita Martinez and No. 4 Jana Novotna. Agassi, ripping returns and passing shots with devastating pace and accuracy, beat Dutch doubles specialist Jacco Eltingh, 6-2, 6-3, 6-4, in a match that took just 1 hour, 41 minutes. Sampras had a tougher time, losing the first set before rally ing to beat big-serving Shuzo Matsuoka of Japan 0-7 (7-5), 6-3, 6- 4, 6-2. Ivanisevic, a two-time Wim bledon finalist, served 33 aces — and smashed one racket — in a 7- 5, 7-6 (13-11), 6-3 win over No. 6 Yevgeny Kafelnikov. But none of those victories matched the drama of Becker’s five-set thriller over Cedric Pio- line of France. In one of the most compelling Wimbledon matches in years, the three-time Wimbledon champion overcame a stirring comeback before prevailing 6-3, 6-1, 6-7 (8-6), 6-7 (12-10), 9-7, in 4 hours, 11 minutes. Becker appeared headed for an easy victory after winning the first two sets. But Pioline, who was treated for a side strain during the second set, staged a remarkable comeback. Pioline saved four match points — one in the fourth-set tiebreaker, another with Becker leading 5-4 in the fifth set, and two more in the final game, be fore he hit a backhand long to end the contest. Pioline showed signs of cramping and looked exhausted in the final games, while Becker still appeared rela tively fresh. When the match finally ended, Becker tossed his racket into the stands. In Saturday’s semifinals, Agassi will play Becker and Sampras will face Ivanisevic. Agassi, showing the same form that took him to the 1992 ti tle, was simply stunning from the baseline. He had 40 back- court winners — 20 off the fore hand and 20 off the backhand — and hit 21 passing shots and 13 return winners. “Today was the best I’ve hit the ball yet, bar none,” Agassi said. “I’m striking it cleanly, tak ing it early, playing offensively, not making too many errors.” It was Agassi’s 23rd win in his last 24 Grand Slam matches — with his only defeat coming to Kafelnikov in the quarterfinals of th “I stunned him a little bit with the pace in the first set.” Agassi said. “I was in command all the way. I was very much the dicta tor of the shots out there be cause I was hitting it so well.” Shaq, Hakeem ready for the silver screen Hakeem — It ain’t over between you and me. Sure, you’re pretty good with your team behind you, but I want you one-on-one. — Shaq E ver since this advertisement ap peared in newspapers last week, people have been trying to figure out what it means. Is Shaquille O’Neal challenging Hakeem Olajuwon to a game of one-on-one? Is it go ing to be televised? If it is, you don’t think Bill Walton will be the commentator, do you? Media outlets reported that the ad was the beginning of a major publicity campaign for Taco Bell involving the two centers. My sources, however, have confirmed the ad is actually the start of a media blitz for a new movie the two 7-footers will star in. Titled Dream and Shaq’s Excellent Ad venture, the movie is made up of several skits that will show Olajuwon and O’Neal’s acting talents. The film is expected to thrash the rest of the summer movies when it is released in August. Even though no one involved would com ment on the project, my sources were able to get a working copy of the script. Here are some outtakes from the movie that will bring Shaquille and Hakeem to the silver screen. Shaq man Forever “Riddle me this, riddle me that, who’s afraid of the big, bad Shaq?” “I’ve discovered a way to stop you, David Winder Sportswriter Dream. It’s all over for you and that stu pid costume you’re wear ing.” “What cos tume? This is the Rockets’ new uniform design.” Die Hard With a Midset “Hakeem, Shaq, we’ve got a problem. Muggsy Bogues has placed bombs all over the city and he’s about to start detonating them.” “Why do you need us then, captain?” “He said we had to put you two guys on the case because of your height. If we do, he might not blow everything up.” “What do we have to do, captain?” “Wear these basketball goals on your head. Set them so your face will be the back- board.” “This isn’t hard, captain. We could do this all day if need be.” “I wish it were that easy, fellows. I be lieve you guys know Nick Anderson and Vernon Maxwell, don’t you? They have to make 10 three-pointers each in one hour, us ing the goals on your heads. If they don’t, Bogues starts blowing up New York City.” “Hakeem, we’ll die from concussions from all those bricks before they reach 10.” “Look who’s shooting, Shaq, they’ll never reach 10.” White Men Still Can’t Jump “Hakeem, the only reason you played bet ter than me in the NBA Finals is that you had more rest.” “What do you mean Shaq? I played more games than you.” “Yeah but you had to go against Danny Schayes and Joe Klein. What kind of compe tition is that?” “I wouldn’t be talking. You had to go against Bill Wennington, Luc Longley, Will Perdue and Rik Smits in thirteen straight games.” “Oh yeah, Jeff Turner was my backup be cause Tree Rollins is too old.” “So what, Zan Tabak was mine. I played all the time because Rudy wasn’t about to let him into a game.” Later ... “Oh yeah, well Scott Skiles was once my point guard.” “Oh yeah, I had Scott Brooks running the point some.” A View To Shaquille “Excuse me Miss, have you seen the man in this photo in here today?” “No, I haven’t. Who is he?” “He’s an international terrorist named Shaquille O’Neal. I’ve been following him for the last week in order to stop his diabolical plan to destroy the world.” “How do you plan to stop him?” “Casual sex and the best spy gadgets that Scotland Yard has to offer.” “Who are you?” “Won. Hakeem Olajuwon.” The film will also feature stories entitled The Lion Dream and Ashaqalypse Now. Colorado silences Houston’s big guns, wins 4-2 / ,1 I! of the three batters he faced m the eighth bounced past th© catcher, He scored or □ The Astros' offense was limit ed to four singles and two walks. DENVER (AP) — Larry Walker broke a I tie with an RBI single in the seventh in- ; ning, helping Kevin Ritz and the Colorado Rockies beat the Houston Astros 4-2 Wednesday night. After the teams staged slugfests in the first two games of the series — a 15-10 : Colorado win and a 16-8 Houston win — Ritz and Darryl Kile engaged in a pitchers’ ; duel. Ritz (7-3) went seven innings, allowing two rune on four hits with two walks and six strikeouts. Steve Reed struck out two „ in the eighth >lmes pitched the ninth for The Rockies scored twice in the seventh, snapping a 2-2 tie. With one out, Eric Young tripled into the gap in left-center, chasing Kile (3-8). Pinch-hitter Dante Bichete was intentionally walked by Ross Powell, and Walker singled to right-center. After Dave Veres replaced Powell, Andres Galarraga was hit by a pitch, loading the bases. Vinny Castilla then hit a sacrifice fly. In the first, the Astros got to Ritz for two runs with three consecutive singles to start the game. James Mouton singled and stole second. Craig Biggio hit an. RBI sin gle to left and went to third when left fielder Ellis Burks’ throw to the plate bounced past th© catcher. He scored on a wild pitch.■Illlllf' |||ll||||||ill:|-i'l The Rockies managed only an infield hit off Darryl Kile until the fourth. Walker reached second when first baseman Jeff Bagwell misplayed a throw on a grounder. With two outs, Ellis Burks walked and Joe Girardi singled off Kile’s glove for the first Colorado run. Jason Bates then singled to center to make it 2-2. Kile wriggled out of a jam in the fifth. He walked the first two batters, then in duced Walker to hit into a fielder’s choice grounder, struck out Galarraga and re tired Castilla on a groundout. After giving up the fourth Houston hit in the third, Ritz retired 12 straight bat ters before walking Dave Magadan with one out in the seventh. SUMMER WORKSHOPS Register Now - MS6 Basement - 845-1631 DANCE Beginning Country & Western Dance Mon. July lO. 6:30-8pm $25/student 17. 27mi). 31 $30/nonstudent Jitterbug Wed. July 5. 12. 19. Aug 2 6-7:15pm $25/ student $30 / nonstudent Ballroom Dance Wed. Jufy 5. 12. 19. Aug 2 7:30-8:45pm $2 5/student $30/nonstudent Bellydance T/Th. July 11 - Aug 10 6-7pm $35/student $40/nonstudent SELF HELP Yoga I M/W. July 10 - Aug 9 5:30-7pm $4 O / stud ent $45/nonstudent CPR M/W. July 17. 19 6- lOpm $20/student $25/nonstudent First Aid T/Th. July 18, 20 7- 9pm $ 15/student $20/nonstudent BUSINESS Leadership Skills Thurs. July 6. 13. 20 6-8pm $15/ student $2Q/nonstudent Basics of Investing Tues. July 11. 18, 25. Aug 1. 8 7:30-9pm $20/student $25/nonstudent Retirement Planning Tues. July 1 1. 18. 25. Aug 1. 8 6:30-8pm $25/ student $30/nonstudent Fun Classes for Everyone ARTS & CRAFTS Painting Mon. July 10. 17. 24. 31 Aug 7 6-9pm $40/student $45/nonstudent Drawing Tues. July 11. 18. 25 Aug 1, 8 6-8pm $40/student $4 5/nonstudent Matting & Framing Mon. July lO. 17. 24 6:30-8:30pm Tues. July 25, Aug 1, 8 6:30-8:30pm $3 5 / stud ent $4Q/nonstudent Watercolor Wed. July 12. 19. 26 Aug 2. 9 6-9pm $40/student $4 5/nonstudent Cake Decorating Thurs. July 20. 27 Aug 3, lO 6-9pm $2 5 / stud ent $3Q/nonstudent Stained Glass Wed. July 5, 12. 19, 26 Aug 2 6-9pm $3 5 / stud ent $40/nonstudent Leaded Glass Mon. July 10. 17. 24. 31 Aug 7 6-9pm $35/ student $40/nonstudent Woodworking I Wed. July 5. 12. 19. 26 6-8pm Thurs. July 20, 27 Aug'3, 10 6-8pm $40/student $45/nonstudent Indian Bow Making Tues. July 11. 18. 25 Aug 1. 8 6-9pm $40/student $45/nonstudent POTTERY Beginning Pottery Wheel Throwing M/W. July 5. lO. 12. 17. 19. 24 5:30-7:30pm T/Th. July 11. 13. 18. 20. 25. 27 5:30-7:3Opm T/Th. July 1 1. 13. 18. 20. 25. 27 7:45-9:45pm $40/student $4 5/nonstudent Pottery II Intermediate Wheel Throwing M/W. July 5. lO. 12. 17. 19. 24 7:45-9:45pm $40/student $45/nonstudent PHOTO ART Photography Sat. July 8. 15 9am-12noon & l-3pm $30/student $35/nonstudent Int. Photography Sat. July 22 & Aug 5 Sam- 12noon $30/student $3 5/non student Studio Photography Thurs. July 13. 20. 27 6-9pm $2 5 / stud ent $30/nonstudent Black & White Darkroom Skills Mon. July lO. 17. 24 6-9pm $2 5/stud ent $30/nonstudent COMPUTERS Introduction to Macintosh Computer Training Wed. July 5 7-9pm $2Q/student $25/nonstudent Microsoft Word for Macintosh T/Th, July 11. 13. 18. 20 7-9pm $40/student $45/nonstud ent Excel for Macintosh M/W. July 17. 19. 24. 26. 31 Aug 2 7-9pm $4Q/student $4 5/nonstudent c) LANGUAGES French M/W, July 10 - Aug 9 6:30-8pm $40/stud ent $4 5/nonstudent German M/W, July 10 - Aug 9 6:30-8pm $40/ stud ent $4 5/nonstudent Spanish II M/W, July 10 - Aug 9 6:30-8pm $40/student $45/nonstudenl SPECIAL INTEREST Flower Arranging Wed. July 5. 12. 19 l-4pm $2Q/student $25/nonstudent Wedding Flowers Bouquets Etc. Wed. July 26. Aug 2 l-4pm $20/stud ent $25/nonstudent Potpourri Wed. Aug 9 2-4pm $ 15/student $20/nonstud ent Smocking Mon. July 17. 24. 31 6-9pm $25/stud ent $30/nonstudent Knitting Tues. July 11. 18. 25 7-9pm $ 15/student $20/nonstudent Drum Training T/Th. July 11 - Aug 10 6-8pm $3 5/stud ent $40/nonstudent Flyfishing Thurs. July 6, 7-9pm $35/student 13. 20. 27 Aug 3 $40/nonstudent International Wines Tues. July 11. 18. 25 Aug 1 7-8:30pm $30/student $3 5/nonstudent Texas Hunter's Safety Education T/Th. Aug 15. 17. 22. 24 6-9pm $ 10/student $ 15/nonstudent Billiards Sat. July 8. 15, 22. 29 Aug 5 2-4pm $30/student $3 5/non student Intro To Falconry Thurs. July 6, 13. 20. 27 Aug 3 6-7pm $25/student $30/non student 1