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Diagnosed with Junioritus
Fear accompanies transition to senior year
M y roommate and I
have discovered a new
disease — it is called
Junioritis.
It’s been around for a long
time, and it deserves some
recognition so that all of the
sophomores who can think
about nothing but being able
to whoop next year will know what they are really in for.
Your junior year is when reality officially slaps you in
the face; up until now, it’s just kinda been tapping you on
the shoulder. It is a time when you realize that the warm,
safe cocoon of college will be ejecting you in a year (or two,
or three).
One can live off of student loans only so long. I hear you
have to pay them back, and not some day — immediately,
and in large, painful doses.
Those doses are especially painful if you have a life of
journalism salaries to look forward to.
If you are like most class of 96’ers I know, myself includ
ed, — in other words, if you are a year from graduating and
have not co-oped, gone by the career center, or know where
it is, or taken the GREl/GMAT — your junior year is the
time to OFFICIALLY start freaking out.
My apartment has become the unofficial career center. En
tire afternoons are spent on the phone with graduate schools,
advisers and potential internships. I remember the days when
we were content to lay around watching Ricki Lake.
“The Future” was the furthest thing from our minds.
Now that we are almost seniors, it is the one thing we
cannot escape.
I’m sure “the future” would not be such a frightening
thing if I had an inkling as to where I will be a year from
now — homelessness and unemployment are not pleasant
things to think about. Neither is continuing my part-time
job a day past graduation.
I can’t pinpoint the time Junioritis was first diagnosed. I
think I was asked “What do you want to do when you get out
of college?” one too many times and something snapped.
I cannot even imagine what Senioritis is like. If it’s worse
than this, I might not make it to next May.
I don’t think this is paranoia. Life up until now has been
safe and orderly. Every significant change has followed an
understood pattern.
For example, I knew that I would to to college after high
school. Mom and dad would send money, and I could come
home on the weekends.
I knew that would be how it would happen since I was
about seven. I had years to come to grips with this change.
Now I’m facing the possibility of shipping off to the ends
of the earth to do who knows what with the possibility of
seeing friends and family only once a year.
And, to make it worse, the apron strings will be cut off
completely. Needless to say, these are not comforting things
to contemplate.
Despite my fears, I don’t plan to hide in my closet after I
graduate. I look forward to whatever great adventures lie
ahead of me.
Half the excitement of going to college was knowing that
it was my ticket out of Smalltown, U.S.A, and on to bigger
and more exciting places. I just wish I knew where my ticket
was taking me.
In an attempt to keep myself from going completely in
sane, I’ve been trying to dwell more on the positive aspects
of becoming a senior. I don’t have to tell you that they are.
I order my ring in three weeks.
I’m actually getting the classes I want through telephone
registration.
And, of course, I’ll get first pick at tickets from the t.u.
game. Sorry, sophomores, this is one privilege you won’t be
looking forward to your senior year.
The senior year is not something to dread, but living in
limbo for an extended period of time is. As the job market
gets more competitive, things are only going to get worse for
college seniors.
But I’m determined to not let Junioritis or Senioritis get
the best of me during my last official year as a kid.
I’m going to enjoy my last year, butT’m sure I’ll it much
more when I get a job.
Then, I’ll be able to start complaining about what a drag
it is to have my future mapped out for me.
Amy Uptmor is a junior journalism major
The new
of terrorism
I f there is one thing in this
world that truly disgusts
me, it’s terrorism. Terror
ists attempt to force their mo
tifs on the world governments
by violently attacking the
weak and vulnerable. They
don’t give a damn who they hurt.
Children? Ah, to hell with children.
They mean nothing to a terrorist. In
fact, the more innocent children killed
the bigger the news story.
They’ll tell you it’s all done in the
name of some righteous cause, of course.
Causes, however, that tend to be as
vague and shadowy as the terrorists
themselves.
We’ve all heard of them. The
Shi’ites, PLO, IRA and other groups
are notorious for trying to get their
“causes” across.
Every now and then they remind us
of how ruthless and cowardly they are,
by hijacking airplanes, setting off bombs
and shooting innocent people to death.
Real heroic stuff, you know.
The bad news is is that up until now
these atrocities have been rather in
significant.
Violent, but insignificant. A bomb
here, a hijacking there, nothing to
make the world stop.
Well, that changed a few weeks ago.
On March 27, 1995, terrorism
crossed the darkest of thresholds and
into the world of mass destruction.
It was quick and simple. An un
known man walked onto a Japanese
subway, messed around with a pack
age, and then abruptly left.
The same scene was played out si
multaneously in four other train cars.
When it was over, ten people had died
and over 5,000 people were injured do
to a deadly nerve gas called Sarin.
In this one instant the rules
changed. Now unconvention
al weapons are on the shop
ping list of international ter
rorism. Weapons that could
conceivably target not just
hundreds of people but thou
sands, even millions!
The good news is — if it can be
called good news — is that for now, the
terrorists appear to be only on the
chemical weapons aisle. But reports
say they’re shopping quickly.
This attack happened in Japan and
Japan is far away from us, right? So
the question is, how real is this new
terrorist threat to us?
Well, we all know after watching the
news the other day that terrorism has
defimtely landed in our country. This
time it was a car bomb.
But are we at risk now for a more po
tentially devastating chemical attack?
Marvin Cetron, president of a Vir
ginia-based think tank and advisor on
terrorism to the Pentagon, told Time
Magazine that a chemical or biological
attack on the U.S. is becoming more
and more likely. He thinks it could
happen “within the next five years.”
Representative Glen Browder, an
Alabama Democrat, said that “it’s
just a matter of time before it occurs
in the U.S”.
If Browder and Cetron are right,
and this kind of terrorism has the po
tential to be let loose in our country,
then the next question is:What are we
planning to do about it?
Time Magazine said that the FBI
and CIA are spending more and more
money on counter terrorism. But they
also say that preventing an attack
from a determined terrorist group is al
most impossible.
For instance, it has been reported
that the Tokyo police had numerous
warning signs of an imminent chemical
attack, but they were still caught off
guard when it occurred.
I can think of only one way to stop
these fanatics who would kill our chil
dren. Total authority should be given
to our counter terrorist agencies to be
come fanatics themselves.
That means total authority for
counter terrorists to hunt down, infil
trate and break up all suspected
groups before they strike.
That’s total authority without the
fear of repercussions, I might add.
Now, there will be people out there
who will adamantly protest this. They
will scream and yell about potential
civil rights violations, police brutality,
big brother government, overspending,
and so forth.
Kinda like during that Branch Da-
vidian thing.
These people are a detriment be
cause they cause hesitation in our
counter terrorists groups. And that
puts us all in danger.
But when the first homemade atom
bomb is detonated in a major city or
60,000 people are nerve gassed at
America’s favorite pastime, then I
think these people will shut up.
With this terrifying new threat, the
game changes and so must the players.
It all boils down to a simple analo
gy. Terrorists are like cockroaches.
They’re nasty little creatures that hide
in the shadows, and scatter when the
lights come on.
You step on one, and another one ap
pears. So when your house becomes in
fested you have no choice but to call the
exterminators, who exercise no mercy.
Adam Hill is a sophomore
anthropology major
Adam
Hill
Guest
Columnist
Television programs set
bad examples for youth
I don’t want to alarm
anybody but the televi
sion programs that we
watched as kids did not
improve our minds. Even
though shows like “Mam
mal,” “Facts of Life” and
“Misfits of Science” were
entertaining the truth is
they were not educational,
us scored higher on the SAT because
we watched “Growing Pains” or “Who’s
the Boss” religiously.
The sad truth is that the television of
the late 70s and early 80s only taught us
bad things. You might think seeing every
episode of “B.J. and the Bear” made you
a better person but it didn’t. It probably
stunted your emotional and psychological
growth by teaching you a bunch of lies
and half-truths.
Don’t think for a second that “B.J. and
the Bear” is the only television program
guilty of this though. Any cartoon or situ
ational comedy that we watched between
the ages of three — 14 has caused us ir
reparable harm.
“Scooby Doo” — Taught us that doing
drugs was okay by showing Scooby and
Shaggy stoned in every episode. Their
chronic laziness and never-ending
munchies can only be explained by heavy
pot use. It’s time we faced the facts, Scoo
by snacks were marijuana brownies. The
show also taught us that having sex be
fore marriage was all right. It didn’t mat
ter the situation, Fred and Daphne want
ed each other and they didn’t have any
rings on their fingers.
Fred: “Well, that evil glow-in-the-dark
robot has to be around here somewhere.
Let’s split up and find him..”
Scooby (slurring speech): “I’m hungry.”
Fred: “Shaggy, you and Scooby go
check out that spooky barn. Thelma, you
go down and check the basement.
Daphne and me Eire going to go check the
back of the Mystery Machine to see if
he’s hiding there.”
Daphne (purring): “Oh Fred.”
Shaggy (staring at ceiling): “Cool man,
we’ve been wearing the same clothes
since this show started three years ago.
Zoinks!”
“Josie and the Pussycats” — I think
the name says it all. Basically an all-girl
band functioning as animated whores for
adolescent boys. Taught young girls they
would be considered prettier if they had
tails.
“What’s Happening” — We learned
that fat people (i.e. Rerun, Shirley) better
be funny or we really
have no use for them. It
also wronged in teach
ing us that a man will
not get beat up if he
says “Hey, hey, hey,
hey” more than once in a
month.
MacGyver— Taught us that you could
save the world from destruction by using
ordinary items.
Mac: “These nuclear warheads Eire set
to destroy the world in 45 seconds. I’ve
got to do something. Janie, check that
box for materials.
Janie (sexy female appesiring only in
this episode): “ All that’s here is fishing
line, gum wrappers and an autographed
picture of K.C. and the Sunshine Band.”
Mac: “Perfect, we can stop the war
heads now. Qood thing I put this broken
pencil in my pocker earlier in the show r or
the rest of that stuff would be totsdly use
less to us.”
“Different Strokes” — Taught us the
only way black children can get ahead in 5
life is to live with white families.
“Webster”— Taught us that “Different ;
Strokes” was the best show on television
at exploiting black children.
“Dukes of Hazzard” — We were in
structed all police officers are bumbling ‘
idiots and should not be respected. The
speed limit, seat belts and other aspects
of car safety were shown not to be that
important. The worst thing Uncle Jessie
and the boys taught us was always help
people no matter what federal law they
have just broken.
Bo: “I don’t care if she is our first
cousin, did you see those shorts she was *
wearing today?”
Luke: “Oh yeah! Man, I wish we lived
in Arkansas.”
Uncle Jessie: “Boys, I just got word
that Boss Hogg is in trouble. It seems .
he helped some fellows steal all the
gold from Ft. Knox and now he’s being
double-crossed. We’ve got to help him
avoid prison so we can save him next
week.”
Bo: “All right, we’ll do it. But only if
we can unnecessarily jump everything in ‘
Hazzard county with the General Lee.”
Those are just few examples of how
television has ruined our lives. It’s no . 7
time to start the healing process. I ho a- 7
there are some excellent doctors on ER. £1-
David Winder is a jun ior -'
journalism major
David
Winder
Sports Editor
Not one of
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§s§®!1
CALL
Tubularman sexist,
trivializes violence
This letter is in response to the com
ic/advertisement that appeared on
Wednesday, April 19, which depicted
Tubularman telling a boy to “tell your
mom to shut-up or I’ll spank her like I
did last night.” This comic is blatantly
sexist and extremely offensive. It per
petuates the sexual objectification and
degradation of women which is all too
common in our society. Comics like this
have no place in a college paper.
Kimberly Thomas
Class of ’95
• I am surprised that The Battalion
printed the offensive ad for Tubular
man in its April 19 issues.
The cartoon for this ad depicted Tubu- 5
1 arm an responding to a young boy whose
mother had made some derogatory re
marks about the so-called “superhero.” ;
Tubularman says he will spank the
boy’s mother as he (Tubularman) had
done the night before.
In a world which has just witnessed
the wanton destruction in Oklahoma, it
is unfortunate to publicize the trivial-
ization of violence.
Dr. Sara Alpern
History Professor
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