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Monday* October 31, 1994
INTTONT
The Battalion • Page 9
Holiday tricks as well as treats
Halloween spooks now have to fear modern world
JOSEF
ELCHANAN
M y child
hood
memories
have always fo
cused around the
holidays of my
youth. My family’s
almost religious
fanaticism with
American tradi
tion made holidays like the Fourth of July and Thanksgiv
ing the most important of our gatherings. But one holiday
specifically captured our creativity beyond all others. It
was, of course, Halloween.
Halloween may not be considered an American hol
iday by many people — and it certainly does not rate
the respect of Independence Day — but it always held
a special fascination to me that no other holi
day could. The perfect mix of creativity and
fascination with the unknown makes this holi
day more a part of American legend than many
people realize.
When the harvest moon filled the night sky,
my mother and I would begin planning for the
holiday with a zeal unmatched by almost any oth
er activity through the year.
Martialing creative skills passed on from our
readings of horror novels, and recruiting my sister &
an official decorator,
the Elchanan fami
ly began its cam
paign to
make each Hal
loween a
little
scarier than
the previous
years.
The big moment was the final decision on cos
tumes. My mother carefully instilled the idea
that “cute” costumes would not be tolerated, a
stance my sister and I readily adopted, since we
both knew that we were creative enough to
look evil at least once a week. In fact, the only
time my mother stepped in was when I had
proposed dressing as a dead soldier, a costume
she said would be in bad taste in a neighbor
hood filled with veterans.
Then we would carve the pumpkin, taking
the seeds out and roasting them for later
snacks. Carving pumpkins should be consid
ered an art form, the way people in communi
ties around the U.S. take time to carve the
perfect grimace or smile on a food product.
After finishing off a couple of pumpkins, it
came time to decorate the house.
We would darken the house and place
eerie light bulbs in the windows and door
ways, strips of cloth and black plastic bags
dhngling in the frtfnt entrance.
I was neveT ericouraged to use spiritualists
or oufja boards, that was not what we were af
ter. It was simply fun to go trick or treating with
my sister and to scare the pants off of little kids.
Things changed radically one year. For some
reason, some maniac began placing glass
shavings and other dangerous material in
candy that they were giving to small chil
dren. The strict order came down that my
sister and I were no longer allowed to eat
our hard-fought booty of the night, for it
was no longer safe. There was al
ways the option of taking our bags
to get X-rayed, but that seemed to
take all the fun out of it anyway.
The next year, children stopped coming around as
much, and there was a distinct feeling that the streets of
our neighborhood were no longer safe. We were told to only
go to houses of people we knew, and many houses were un
decorated altogether.
Even criminal activity, something that destroys the hap
piness of so many children around our country, could never
destroy the holiday for me, however. There always were
movements to make Halloween something evil, as if some
thing was wrong with pretending to be a monster of some
sort, but I always figured that with people out there who
would try to murder children with candy, how bad could a
witch or demon be?
Halloween is a time were we recognize our
most basic fears and overcome them by
dressing up as the thing that terror
izes each of us when the lights are
out and the wind howls outside our
windows. Ancient man did this,
and we continue to celebrate the
unknown with masks and
stories of mysticism.
With so much real evil
in the world, I hope that
children do not have to grow
up without holidays like
Halloween.
Tonight I will hopefully be
able to read a horror story or
two and watch a classic
horror film to recall the days when I
was young and untouched by the hor
rors of modem society.
Josef Elchanan is a senior
business management major
The Battalion
Editorial Board
Belinda Blancarte, Editor in chief
Mark Evans, Managing editor
Jay Robbins, Opinion editor
Jenny Magee, Assistant opinion editor
Editorials appearing in The Battalion
reflect the views of the editorial board. They
do not necessarily reflect the opinions of
other Battalion staff members, the Texas
A&M student body, regents, administration,
faculty or staff.
Columns, guest columns, cartoons and
letters express the opinions of the authors.
Contact the opinion editor for information
on submitting guest columns.
Whoop! Bonfire ’94
If we don't build it, no one will
Got a little story for you Ags.
Last Wednesday, the Fightin’ Texas
Aggie Bonfire broke loose and its
logs toppled.
Bad Bull.
Students stood amazed and eager
while Bonfire coordinators and
school representatives met. And with
a loud “Whoop!” they all decided a
toppled pile of logs represented too
much hard work wasted and just
would not do.
Good Bull.
Thanks, too, for the donations
from local businesses, including:
• A new centerpole from the
City of Bryan,
A centerpole hole dug
by the City of College
Station,
• Food from
Domino’s Pizza, Al
bertson’s, Wings N’
More, Duddley’s
Draw and others **' >
• Cranes from H. P.
Zachry Construction,
• And monetary donations from
Ags across the state.
Students started working around
the clock to (re)build the hell outta
the Fightin’ Texas Aggie Bonfire. But
there was still more work to be done.
Meanwhile, the Fightin’ Texas Ag
gie Football Team traveled to San An
tonio and settled for a tie game with
Southern Methodist University.
As our team will be traveling to
austin next weekend to play “that
other school,” t.u., they seem to need
a bit of burning inspiration.
We might not be able to
win the Cotton Bowl this
year, but we can sure as
hell saw the horns off.
But first, there is still more
work to be done out at the
Bonfire site. So, between
classes, studying and a bit of
sleep, go out to Stack and
build the hell this week.
All Zips, deadzips,
sergebutts, pis-
sheads, and fish are
needed, whether
/ you are experi-
enced or not.
There is no better
time to learn than right now.
And if you are really red ass,
you’ll cut class, so the Fightin’ Texas
Aggie Football Team can beat the
ever living ... hell outta t.u.
Besides there’s no better way to
trick-or-treat than with a red ass.
Gig ’Em Ags!
mui
Gentlemen giving up
seats show slight sexism
It never fails. Every time the bus
starts filling up, a guy offers his seat to a
female. It’s nice to see that sexism is still
alive and well these days.
C’mon, isn’t this really a holdover
from the good ’ol days when women were
thought to be fragile little flowers? Sure,
you can argue that it’s the courteous
thing to do, that it’s nice; but if that were
the case, why aren’t women standing up
when I get on the bus?
What is physically wrong with a
woman that she can’t stand up for the re
mainder of her trip?
What really gets me is that women
generally like this courtesy. They don’t
mind. They enjoy being treated special.
And I can understand that.
When it’s been a long day. I’d like
someplace to sit, also. The next time
you take the seat from the guy who is
offering it to you, think about of what
this may be saying.
I’m just waiting for a capable woman
to yell out the next time she is offered a
seat : “Who do you think I am!? Some
fragile daisy? No, I am a woman, and I
can stand just as good as you.”
She’s got my support.
Hugh Simonich
Graduate student
Reader offers opinion
of Battalion columnists
I think it is about time The Battalion
acquired at least a few columnists who
possess a voice that would be considered
mainstream on this campus. The current
staff is composed primarily of fringe-
Marxists, lost souls and writers still men
tally struggling through their adoles
cence. One would think after reading the
opinion page, that you either have to be a
card carrying member of the communist
party or have a history of being institu
tionalized for psychological problems in
order to qualify for a columnist position.
Joseph Elchanan: Believes that the
U.S. foreign policy should be solely
based on morality. He feels that the
United States is imperialist because in
the past we have sent troops places to
protect U.S. interests.
Lynn Booher: In a constant state of
cognitive dissonance. Thinks she is a
feminist, but deep down you know there
is nothing more she wants than to get
married and have kids.
Elizabeth Preston: Embroiled in an
identity crisis. Also does not like Ann
Richards because she is not liberal
enough, but she will vote for her anyway.
Frank Stanford: Has an exaggerated
sense of his own entertainment value.
Thinks every life experience he has had
has resulted in some new revelation
about his purpose in this universe.
Aristotle want-to-be.
Michael Landauer: Elchanan’s
counter-culture protege.
Jay Robbins: Really believes that it is
the government’s job to deal with every
little problem ever encountered. Thinks
government intrusion is a good thing.
Future editor of Pravda.
Erin Hill and Melissa Megliola: Never
written anything of substance.
Aja Henderson: Only credible colum
nist on the staff. Keep up the good work!
Jim Staley
Class of ’95
Mars, Venus collide in romance
Differences between men and women stand out
in account of a boy, a girl and her roommate
The Battalion encour
ages letters to the editor
and will print as many as
space allows, tetters
must be 300 words or
less and include the au
thor's name, class, and
We reserve the fight
to edit letters for length,
style, and accuracy.
Address letters to:
The Battalion - Mail CaB
013 Reed McDonald
Texas A&M University
College Station, TX
77843-1111
Fax: <409) 845-2647
E-mail:
Batt@tamvm1 .tarrai.edu
T he remarkable differences be
tween men and women were
brought home to me recently. I
was sitting at breakfast with my best
friend, Jana, and we began discussing
our past relationships. This is a conver
sation topic that we always enjoy run
ning into the ground.
As we critiqued their flaws — and ours
— I suddenly stopped. I wondered aloud
how many times our ex-boyfriends actu
ally sit around and discuss us. Jana
pointed out that although they may think
of us, or even miss us, they probably
NEVER sit around and speak about us
with their friends. It is just not a large
part of the male psyche to constantly an
alyze past relationships.
We then began dissecting the reasons
we had parted ways with these men from
our past. Invariably, it was because we
had misunderstood each other complete
ly. One of my exes and I fought the last
two months we were together, all over se
mantics. He would say something and I
would ask him — in an argumentative
voice — what he meant by that. I’m sur
prised we lasted as long as we did, we
communicated so badly.
So in the interest of learning to get
along with my next boyfriend — assum
ing I do eventually have one — I did
some research and discovered an in
teresting theory.
Next time you are speaking to your
true love, or your latest love, pretend that
they are from a different planet. Picture
him from a planet where efficiency, com
petence and achievement are the most
important goals in life. Then pictiire a fe
male planet. This planet regards commu
nication, love and relationships as the
highest concepts in their society.
When the planets met, they fell in
stantly in love. They both moved to
Earth and set up life here. Unfortunate
ly, on Earth, selective amnesia set in and
both sexes tragically forgot they were
from different planets. Since that day,
they have had trouble communicating.
This is John Gray’s premise in his
book “Men Are From Mars, Women Are
From Venus.”
Gray says, “When you remember
that men are from Mars and women are
from Venus, everything can be ex
plained.” I attempted to use this while
attempting to analyze a conversation
that confused me recently.
Yesterday, a male friend, “John,”
and I were discussing his recent
breakup. In the rambling way that
such conversations go, we soon were
discussing how we would react to vari
ous hypothetical situations.
This was the main example he used:
his reaction if a close female friend
called him and told him that she had
walked in on her boyfriend having sex
with her roommate.
He said a large part of him would
feel pity for her. Then he said another,
ELIZABETH
PRESTON
Next time you all speak to your true loves,
pretend they're from a different planet.
Men and women need to understand they
are not dating someone exactly like them.
almost equally significant part of him
would think: That’s really cool.
I was completely shocked. In defense
of himself, John said that every man in
the world would agree with him. I doubt
ed this assessment immediately. In the
spirit of discovering who was right, we in
terviewed many of our friends.
The results were astounding. 100
percent of the men concurred with
John, and 100 percent of the women
were horrified at the suggestion. There
were varying degrees of agreement from
the men’s camp, but they all supported
the spirit of the theory.
Now, if I pretend that these men
are all from a different planet, a few
more things become clear. These men
were not saying that they would sleep
with the roommate.
The men in our informal survey
said that they were not interested in
doing that, in fact they thought the
guy was a jerk. What they were saying
was that they envy that particular
man’s ability to be unemotional and to
sleep with different women at the
same time.
On Venus, this is seen as a betrayal
of all that is held dear to the inhabi
tants. They look at the couple and label
them horrid, disgusting and worthless.
On Mars this is seen as a
betrayal, but also as an
efficient and brave — re
member “Hell hath no
fury...?” — action on the
guy’s part.
Jana’s and my exes
will never discuss us
over endless breakfasts,
and the men I know will always re
spect different things than I do.
This does not mean that the bridges
between us are impassable. We just need i
to work harder on understanding that we ,'
are not dating someone exactly like us.
Realize that you and your love can feel
the same about each other while express
ing emotion, and everything else, in com
pletely different ways.
Elizabeth Preston is a junior
English major