Monday • August 29,1994
Monday • Au
Friendship depends on truth
Inequality pervades, sometimes destroys, relationships
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Trim the Fat
Regents audit reveals unjustifiable expenses
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Internal system audits made pub
lic last week reveal some ridiculous
expenditures by the Texas A&M
University System Board of Regents.
Although the audit has drawn
promises from the regents for more
efficiency, the fact remains that
many of these expenses were
purely frivolous. Some
spending even provided
air transportation for
the regents’ spouses
and guests
Perhaps one
reason that these
items are so out
rageous is that
this audit of the
regents’ spend
ing is the first of
its kind in over
a decade.
In the last
three years, while
schools throughout
the system suffered
financial cutbacks, the
regents spent nearly
back,” the regents cannot justify hav
ing spent thousands of dollars each
year on table decorations that will
soon wilt in a trash can or personal
items they could buy for themselves,
just like everybody else.
Evans Library is dropping periodi
cals subscriptions and free-falling
down through the nationwide
research library rank
ings. Every year whole
courses are not of
fered because the
University lacks
$10,000 on flowers and plants for
the Board meetings.
The regents’ budget accommodat
ed video cassette recorders for their
quarters and personal toiletries like
toothpaste and razors.
Regardless of Board chairwoman
Mary Nan West saying “I’m not
proud of it, and we’re going to cut
the funding for
them. Countless
students need
all the financial
aid they can
possibly get.
If members
of the board ex
pect their posi
tions to carry the
fancy trappings of a
wealthy corporation,
then they have not been
well-chosen. The symbolic
“sacrifices” they could have made
several years and thousands of dol
lars ago might at least have put the
right priorities in place for cutting
back budgets in poor economic times.
The Board of Regents should be
made up of people whose minds are
on helping the System, not enjoying
themselves.
’nequal relationships are often
thought of only in terms of
relationships between men and
women, but they are much more
common than that. Almost all of my
relationships, from friends and
acquaintances to family and romantic
involvements, have at times suffered
from feelings of obligation, guilt and
inequality. When this phase lasts too
long and the entire relationship becomes
imbalanced, it is intensely painful.
On the first day of conditioning
swimming during the second semester of
my freshman year, I was quickly
intimidated. I was out of shape and ready
to drop the class without even trying. A
very kind young woman named “Laurel”
in the lane next to me began talking.
Laurel had been a lifeguard over the
summer, but she was also nervous about
the class. I told her I was going to drop it,
and she asked for my phone number. She
wanted to call that night and lay out a
plan together on how to pass the class.
She did, and we became instant friends.
We began practicing swimming, going
to movies together and eventually
meeting each other’s friends. I even
began dating one of Laurel’s high school
acquaintances. After about six months of
friendship, I began to realize that I felt
too needed by her. I was trying to
discover my own personality and meeting
lots of new people. However, she was at a
different point in her life. I began to try
to pull away, but without telling her
what I was doing.
I didn’t know how to express to her
that it seemed she liked me too much, so
instead I became less and less friendly. I
would try to avoid her, and if we were
together I would either ignore her or
start a fight. I knew that I was handling
the situation terribly, but I was not
mature enough to speak to her frankly.
ELIZABETH
PRESTON
Columnist
Finally, my other friends told me that
I had to speak to Laurel because my
cruelty was worse than anything she had
done to me. I asked her over to my room
under the impression that she had no
idea what I was going to say. I honestly
believed that she had not even noticed
how rude I was, because she had never
said anything about it.
The hour that followed was possibly
the worst hour of my life. She screamed
at me about how insulting I was, and
said that she hated me. I immediately
I didn't know how to express that it
seemed Laurel liked me too much.
Instead I became less friendly. I was
not mature enough to speak frankly.
reacted just as childishly, and it quickly
degenerated into a screaming match with
both of us hurling insults at each other. I
don’t know who won, but I haven’t
spoken to her since that day.
I regret the end of this relationship
for two reasons: I lost a friend and I
realized that the entire affair had
been my fault. If I had spoken to her
at the beginning, it would have been
painful, but honest. As it ended up,
nothing was resolved except for the
fact that we could no longer be friends.
We have probably all been trapped at
the line between being polite and being
truthful. My mother, the psychologist,
tends to see things in black and white:
if you don’t like the person and you feel
uncomfortable, then you need to tell
them and move on. This advice is good,
but it falls into the “easier said than
done” category. Most people who find
themselves in situations like this end
up carrying the weight and annoyance
of the relationship with them because
they do not want to hurt the other
person’s feelings.
Balance is the one of the most delicate
aspect of friendships. If people are not on
similar levels, the friendship is always
leaning towards one person. It takes a
very mature person to carry a friendship
without getting bitter. Even with very
good friends balance is constantly
changing and the friendship being tested.
Growing, learning, laughing, and
counting on each other is all
part of the definition of
friendship. The problem
begins when one person
wants more out of the
relationship than the other.
These relationships crop
up everywhere, from an
annoying guy next to you
on the airplane who won’t
s I was le
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shut up to a really close friend that
you have lost all common ground with.
If it were something that happened
once every lifetime or less, then there
would be no problem. Unfortunately it
is very necessary to find a mature and
appropriate way of dealing with these
uncomfortable inequalities, simply
because they occur so often, and are so
painful.
I first met tl
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One day in i
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■■■I
Elizabeth Preston is a junior
English major
All-University Night
Fightin' Texas Aggies should avoid violence
The intended warm welcomes and
good beginnings of All-University
night were marred in past years
when dorm rivalries turned violent.
Those attending this year’s event
should remember
ty comes together!
of classes to
and kick the year off |
For the incoming freshmen,
day marks the beginning of their
past, we are prepared for the poten
tial for problems this year. And by
allowing student leaders to be in
charge of sending the word for the
crowd to act in a responsible man-
|1®*\ that m<tsaage has a better
problems arose
ten normal antics and cheers got
of hand. Part of being or becom-
„ _ a college student involves the
lege careers at A&M, and older Ag- transformation from wild, irrespon-
gies should caro about what sort af/^^fble high 1 ' ^ ■>
image of A&M freshman kte-' 'Hire, resj
Le c:<
sity
that dorms
obscenity, these i
uated tlmmyghout the|j
pressiqags
For this reason it is important
the spirit portrayed at All-
Night be positive and inoffensive's
In response to past violence,
lewd behavior, the administration:’
created a student leader forum to
promote responsible behavior among
students at events like All-Universi
ty Night. The formation of this
group is a set in the right direction.
By admitting the problems of the
ecognizmg' the Ji£ferenge' between
school spirit and-harmful behavior.
: In light of all the criticism that
A&M has buffered in the.eyes of the
/;OUtside world with athletic and sci-
|scandals and illegal proce-
|f the administration, A&M
l|o be careful of the image it
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And what better way to begin to
repair the scars of a year of front
page stories and national news seg
ments then to induct the fledgling
class of 1998 into A&M at a peaceful
and fun All-University Night.
NCAA Compliance
Every A&M fan must observe regulations
Contributors, students, alumni
and other fans of Texas A&M Uni
versity athletics, especially the foot
ball program, owe it to both the
players and school to ensure that
their actions do not violate NCAA
regulations.
A pamphlet compiling a con
densed version of those rules has
been mailed out to thousands
of A&M supporters, and
should make that task
easier.
The “Guide to
NCAA Rules
concentrates
restric-
on
tions that
affect con
tact be-
tween
Texas
A&M ath
letic repre
sentatives
which could be any
one affiliated with the University - and
student athletes or prospective ath
letes.
Many of the University’s past and
current problems with rules viola
tions stem directly from that area.
The Aggie football team is currently
on a one-year suspension from bowl
games and television appearances
and five-year probation term. These
penalties were issued by the NCAA
after investigations revealed last
spring that some student athletes
received payment from a
former student for
work never com
pleted.
The effort
to spread in-
formation
about the
NCAA rules
will make com
pliance even
easier and non-
compliance more in
excusable. With all
the obstacles modern
universities face, from fund
ing shortfalls to student reten
tion, A&M needs to be able to trust
and rely on its most loyal supporters
not to create more problems.
Commitment to NCAA compliance
from all Aggies will help realize that
goal and prevent future problems.
How to graduate from Aggie U.
A short guide through the hoops
you jump through for your diploma
W!
"ith much
shouting
and
throwing about of
small furniture, I
have managed to
convince both my
parents and the
Department of
Modern Languages
that I am actually
SUSAN
OWEN
Guest Columnist
going to graduate in December.
It’s like those slasher movies, when just as the music
calms down and you’re pretty sure Jason’s dead, he pops up
waving a degree audit and rasping, “Your Poli. Sci. credit
didn’t transfer... ”
Just to reassure myself that I can walk across the stage
without anyone appearing and wrestling my diploma away
from me, I did some calling around to find out what I have to do
and when. In hopes that my fellow December degree
candidates can use the info, here are my findings:
Pay diploma fee: $20. Option #66 when you
register by phone, or theyll bill you when you
apply for graduation.
Check with your department: Make sure they
agree that you’ve filled all the requirements. Last
day to drop a class with no record is Friday, Sept. 2,
you can add until Sept. 6.
Apply for graduation: Aug. 18 to Sept. 9, in
Heaton Hall 105 (845-1145). DONT FORGET THIS
or you won’t get graduation tickets, you won’t get on
all the free stuff mailing fists, and — way bummer -
you won’t actually graduate. Technically, you have
until Dec. 15, but after Sept. 23 or you won’t be able
to get your diploma at commencement.
Order graduation announcements: Aug. 15 -
30, Student Finance Center (845-1114). Start figurii „
what to do with the 94 leftover namecards you’ll have —
Balfour only ships boxes of 100. Christmas present tags?
Change-of-address cards, packing-box labels ...
Buy your cap and gown: at any bookstore. You can share
a gown with a friend graduating in another ceremony, but they
won’t schedule the ceremonies until mid-September. Just don’t
wait until the day before. It’d suck if they were sold out of your
size and you had to, like, wear a Hefty bag.
Snag a free steak dinner: The Association of Former
Students (845-7514) has for many years fed graduating seniors
dinner to “induct” them as former students. Pick up tickets
(bring student ID.) in the MSC main hallway on Nov. 1, 2 and
3. There are two dinners: Tuesday, Nov. 8, and Wednesday,
Nov. 9. Both are at 6:20 p.m. in the College Station Hilton.
Usual attire is jacket and slacks for men, skirt or dress for
women.
Pick up your announcements: Student Finance Center,
a month or so before graduation. If you pick them up in person
you’ll avoid the $6 mailing fee and probably get them faster.
Pick up your tickets: Rudder Box Office (845-1234), a
couple of weeks before the ceremony. You should get a
letter about it.
Check for the death dot: Dec. 16, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.,
Pavilion. Check the fist to see if there’s a red dot by your name.
If there is, you can go through the ceremony, but you get an
empty tube. This is only done for academic reasons- an F or
“Incomplete” in a class. If you straighten that out by Jan. 20
theyll mail you your diploma. Unpaid fees won’t interfere with
your diploma, but the University won’t send your official
transcript anywhere until you pony up. Sadly, in these days of
color laser copiers the actual diploma means squat.
Commencement: Dec. 16 and 17. Whoop! Bring
ething to read. It may not be respectful,
but we’re talking about a longer wait
than trying to cash a check at the MSC
on Friday afternoon. At least E. King
ill didn’t stand up during graduation,
>o. If you want to leave after you walk
cross, large burly people at the door will
ike your diploma back. No joke! You
m go pick it up at Heaton 105 the
Wednesday after graduation, but if you
ant to leave with it, post a relative on
le railing and hand it to them after you
v'alk across the stage. Then you can
read out to your regularly scheduled
istivities.
lool! Now all I have to do is pass those
sses. My folks are just trying to talk m e
out. ui ceieurating until at least halfway through
the semester. No problem. I love A&M, but I’ve had four great
years and I’m ready to go. I’m starting to feel like one of those
people who won’t leave after the keg floats. It’s about time for
my last A&M ritual: peeling all that maroon stuff off my
bumper and slapping on the Association of Former Students
sticker.
Longho
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Susan Owen is a senior journalism and Spanish majo r