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t’s OK not to
rant children
ouples who have kids Kike
on unenviable responsibilities
JULIA
STAVENHAGEN
Columnist
Dear Mom and Dad:
I hate you because
you won’t buy me the
Mighty Morphin
Power Rangers.
— Jeffrey
|his is an actual
letter written in a
kindergarten
from a disgruntled child whom I know. Mary and Joel,
Jeffrey’s parents, had him with every intention of raising
him to be a thoughtful, productive and selfless member of
American society. “This letter is a good start,” they say
sarcastically. They hope he will grow up to carry their family
name through the generations and bring meaning to the
sacrifices they’ve made. Good luck.
People in America love children. The society is obsessed with
them. The fashion industry has placed grown women in “baby-
doll” dresses. “The lion King” drew more adults into its
audience than children. Doubtless, the children were renting
Terminator 2” while their parents went to view Disney’s
version of childhood innocence. Every other commercial
features The Happy Couple with The New Baby. Children’s
toys litter every vista in America. Birth control and abortion
are such hot issues because most Americans refuse to believe
that someone actually might not want children.
Reality check. The world’s population of 5.6 billion is set
to double in 40 years, according to the Population Institute in
Washington, D.C. Although most of this growth will occur in
poorer countries, the damage per capita to the environment
is greater in America. “A child bom in the U. S. today will
consume 10 million more gallons of water and use five times
more energy than a child bom in the developing world,” says
the Institute. Doubtless, each child will have to have a
Disney-licensed Lion King float for his 10 million gallons of
water and will not use his five times more energy unless it
goes through a Nintendo or a big screen color TV.
Many parents have children so that someone will take care
of them when they get old. Scientific studies, as well as
informal polling of people around me, have shown that kids
take money from their parents until the event of their death,
and even after, if the will is in order. The kids then spend that
money to put the parents in a nursing home. Can you see your
mom or dad living in your house in 20 years?
Another concern raised by people with children is the issue
The choice to be childless is
ve line jobs are?
ton said,
arters in the lint
/ion were lo
L993 and the
have very
ice. Junior CM
id to start at tin
cker. He will ki most selfless is to defy the “natural” urge to have children and
fgie Davis andlj
not one of selfishness. What
is selfish is having a child
whom you cannot support.
carryring on the
family name. There
are other ways to
leave your mark on
the world besides
adding another
mouth for it to feed.
Perhaps one of the
leave that much more space on the planet for the existence of a
tree or natural landmark that will outlast us all. In place of a
lary could be th- child, I would like a redwood spared from the expansion of a
le defense. Job trailer park, or 10 million gallons of water to continue coursing
through the majestic Grand Canyon instead of into a urinal in
Colorado. I would much rather my family name be connected to
e other after spli an operating water treatment plant than a child struggling to
s as a starter
lior Alfred Your,
last season,
ome Wiliams wi
ee safety spot at
aughey will tal
ty position.
- Mark Smi
ent protein, and
The recommend-
up of 58 percent
ing in shape. Ten
or even lower is
find a place in the wilderness to get away.
The choice to be childless is not one of selfishness or
oversight. People think that couples who don’t have children
just want to vacation all the time and spend all their money on
themselves. This myth is unsubstantiated. What is really
selfish is having a child whom you and the environment cannot
afford to support. A child neglected or stuffed into overcrowded
schools - or prisons - is a miserable thing.
A support group called Childless by Choice and another
group called die ChildFree Network have been started
nationwide in attempt to defeat the negative stereotypes that
12 percent pro childless couples must overcome. Census figures from 1992
«nt fat, estimate 13 percent of married couples chose not to have
consume way too children. I hope this figure will increase.
ir said “Even 30 ^ isn’t that I dislike children. My best friend chose to have a
gh if someone in- child whom I adore. I fear for him, though. What will the world
be like in another generation, when he is my age? Every day in
my world someone’s child is shot, burned, abused or abducted,
for lo«nno- hnrlv happens too often to justify having a child in whom I
® 1 would invest thousands of dollars and 20 years of time. In fact,
fo looo fnt it’ 8 because I love children that I probably will not have any. To
, ,, l V subject another human to the horrors of this world is more
d through a lo* than j could ^
mt with long du
repetition. Dear Mr. and Mrs. Sloan:
immend a mini
>f walking briskly ^ deeply regret to inform you that your son John was
every day. This killed in a gang-related shooting downtown...
ie heart rate and
e amount of fat. This is an excerpt from a real letter. Also a reason to pay
e at a real advan a ttention to the children we have, rather than make more we
mid. 1 “They can cannot manage.
c of classes that
The Battalion
Editorial Board
Mark Evans, Editor in chief
William Harrison, Managing editor
|ay Robbins, Opinion editor
Editorials.
the views of
necessarily reflect the opinions <
Battalion staff members, the Texas
student body, regents, administration,
or staff.
Columns, guest columns,
letters express the opinions <
Contact the opinion editor for informalic
on submitting guest columns.
ITD
mm
Strike, no ballgame
Players, owners sacrifice sport's spirit
Experience inspires
words of wisdom
As graduation looms, senior writes
guide for making choices in college
I!
he basics for good
3st of their lives.'
TCU in 1994. J»|
llins will return a- !
;ond on the teat
ions in 1993. He
'eseason All-SWt
Julia Stavenhagen is a graduate anthropology student
The deadline for the eighth baseball
players strike in 22 years has been set
for August 12. Fans throughout the
country fear the possible consequences
of the arbitrators’ petulance.
The looming walkout is like a drive-
by shooting. The club owners are dri
ving the car and the players are pulling
the trigger, but the bystander getting
hit by the bullets is the game of base
ball. Those who love the game
are the unfortunate wit
nesses who have to help
lessly stand by and
watch the crime. The
wounds are a
scourge on the
game of baseball
and the scars show
that the players
and owners ignore
the true meaning
of the game.
Instead, they fo
cus on an aspect
that should not be so
important - money.
The main issues they are
trying to resolve are a pro
posed salary cap, which the play
ers will not accept nor negotiate, and
salary arbitration, which the owners
want eliminated.
If the two parties in this dispute can
not work out their differences, the great
est season in a generation will be de
stroyed. Players such as Ken Griffey, Jeff
Bagwell, Frank Thomas and Chuck
Knoblauch will miss out on once-in-a-ca-
reer chances of breaking longstanding
records. Fans will miss the opportunity to
cheer on these highly talented players.
Everyone loses out.
The fans need to remind players and
owners of the real spirit of baseball by
taking action. Fans should boycott
games until the disputes are settled. Pay
no attention to to the strike at all and
encourage media blackouts of
strikers if the players walk
out. The bottom line is
that the players’ and
owners’ fighting, ig
nores those who re
ally pay for every
thing.
It is the fans
who pay for the
tickets and mer
chandise that gen
erates the money
for those multi-mil-
lion dollar contracts.
It is the fans who
make the business of
baseball profitable. And,
it will be the fans who will
ultimately lose if there’s a strike.
The players and owners are fighting
like children in a sandbox over who gets
to play with the shovel. Both sides have
legitimate complaints over issues that
need to be resolved, but are unrealistic
about the game. They do not know the
true purpose of professional baseball —
fostering the spirit of competition.
CHRIS S.
COBB
Call
ive line will be ai;
irea for the Hornf ;
[c r tion y a a t 1 d W e?eti’ / PC' movement goes too far
,um after records OK, now I know that this political correctness
"d nine sacks, p 1 movement has gone way too far. When somebody
by the other tnrt Can take exception to a cartoon that is intended
1993. for children to enjoy, I know this whole world
’king corps for TC- has gone out of whack. Of course, I am referring
any in the confe to the July 26 article concerning “The Lion
^turning starter: King,” a movie produced by that evil company
Mike Moulton ar-Walt Disney. The next thing you know, they'll
jrson. All of tb start saying that cartoon characters should be
jack-up Tyrone Ro! clothed because “naked” cartoon characters pro-
r more tacklesmote nudity. Or that cartoon animals shouldn’t
lebackers also ha' : be illustrated beating each other over the head
e addition of soph- because it promotes cruelty to animals,
em. Now that I’ve let off some steam, please allow
e only weak spot c me to be a bit more rational. If we are going to be
is the secondary a country that praises itself for upholding the
irning starters at right to free speech, then we should not be judg-
pes and Charlf: dental of a cartoon intended for entertainment. I
Hopes made '-realize that the argument will be made that such
•oke up 11 passes ilStereotypes as a subservient lioness (hint: that is
ie comerback spcdhe way it is in nature) will corrupt our chil-
ed to free safety iJiren’s way of thinking but, come on - the real
problem here is that people are becoming too
sensitive to what we watch and see and insensi
tive to what is really happening around them. I
believe the fact that when a problem in Rwanda
gets placed on the back of the newspaper while a
whining article about a children’s movie gets
placed on the front page proves my point indeed.
What we don’t need around here is a politi
cally correct producer who is concerned with
what people are going to think about their
production. If this were the case in the past
then blacks might still be repressed and
women might still be expected to stay at
home and raise the family. Our media, for
better or worse is the method by which this
country has grown to become as powerful as
it has. The media makes people aware of
what is going on in the world, it gives them a
release from the stresses of life and it makes
us aware of where we came from and where
we are headed.
So, to all the politically conscious people out
there, I say this: stop whining about how you
jnight perceive a movie or a t-shirt or a profes
sor’s lecture and start concentrating on how you
-.can make this world a better place for your chil
dren. You can start by taking them to watch
“The Lion King” and letting them just enjoy a
well-produced movi^. The fact of the matter is
that they are probably too young or, hopefully,
too naive to extrapolate such a horrible meaning
fi%n the movie as your politically correct (social
ly ignorant) minds are.
Nick Flynn, Class of ’92
Graduate Student
Late night engineers wonder:
Who fired that shot?
I would like to further enlighten the gentle
Battalion readers about what is on the minds
of mechanical engineers at Texas A&M be
sides the tasty “humpmunch” meal men
tioned previously in the July 26 Mail Call.
From another weary researcher, here is
the question I wish you to ponder: What the
hell is that loud burping-farting noise that
can be heard late night around the Petroleum
Engineering Building and Harvey R. Bright
Building? Is someone performing gastroin
testinal experiments with microphones? Is
the campus belching?
Even though this letter is in the sprit of for
mer Battalion columnist Stacy Feducia, I really
do want an answer!
Monte Williams, Class of ’90
Graduate Student
Accompanied by two signatured
The Battalion encour
ages letters to the editor and
will print as many as space
Address letters to:
The Battalion - Mail Call
013 Heed McDonald
Letters must be 300
words or less and Include
the author's name, class,
and phone number.
We reserve the right to
edit letters for length, style.
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E-mail:
Batt^tamvnVl .lamu.edu
‘have been on the Texas
A&M roller coaster since
-the fall of 1989 and it’s
been one hell of a ride. It
might have been smoother
had I done what I was told,
and put on my seat belt and
not stood up while the car
was moving...
Now that my graduation
is approaching and the roller coaster will soon coast to a
stop, I thought it was time to pass on some expert wisdom
that I have collected while going to A&M.
I know there are many incoming students here with
their parents for freshman conferences. During this time,
one of the things the new students must do is choose the
classes they will take in the fall. I have provided a guide
to help in this difficult decision-making process. Also
included are tips on making an even more difficult
decision - picking a major.
There really isn’t that much pressure. Sure, it may affect
the rest of your life, but for now, you have four years - or
five, or six - before you have to enter the real world. You
can decide what to do with the rest of your life two weeks
before you graduate, like me. Now that you know I am an
expert in the field, here is The Chris S. Cobb Guide to
Choosing Classes and Majors or How to Graduate in
only Five-and-a-Half Years.
Part I — Choosing Classes. As a general rule, never
pick classes that end with -istry, -ology, -ics, -ture, or -ing.
In most of these, the students have to spend most of their
time memorizing factual information. Once you have
written this information on tests, be sure to forget it. Some
other class is demanding that brain cell space.
Pick classes where there are no facts. An example is
English. There are mainly two kinds of professors in
this department. The first has their interpretation of
the book, poem, etc. and no one else’s matters. For this
type, it is best to write what the professor wants to
read. So, reword what they say in class and turn that
in. They’ll think you’re a genius.
The other kind doesn’t really like the work they are
teaching, but they had to learn it in college and feel that in
order to round out the students’ life - or make it hell - they
should teach it. This kind of professor is much more fun.
When turning in papers for these classes, write the most
outlandish interpretation you and your beer can think of.
(The subject of beer is covered in Part III of the guide. — edL)
Even if the professor does not agree with what you
have to say, you are sure to do well just by being
creative. “What the hell,” they’ll say, “it could’ve been
worse. He could’ve said the same old stuff like, ‘Hamlet
was about a Danish prince.’ No, Chris said it was about
a drug deal gone bad. A+. ”
When in doubt, get drunk when writing your papers, no .
matter what kind of professor you have. Youll certainly
have much more fun that way. (Save the beer stuff for Part
III, Chris. — ed.) Oops, sorry.
In summary, don’t pick any class where youll actually
have to learn stuff. Pick a class like philosophy - you can
argue that the course and professor don’t actually exist and
then not have to go to class. “What the hell,” the professor
will say, “at least they’re thinking philosophically. I think I
exist. Don’t I?”
Part II — Now that you know how to choose your
classes, it is time to pick your major. This may seem
like we are doing this backwards by picking a major second,
but we’re not. In fact, many college students do this, but if
they don’t, most change their major four or five times,
anyway. This is equivalent to the ’70s excuse, “I have to find
myself.” In choosing a major, students have to find
themselves. Most find themselves in a major they don’t like,
so they look for another major that sounds like it might be
fun and will not take too much work.
For example, look in the catalog for Underwater Basket
Weaving. The first year concentrates on swimming, scuba
and which swimsuit looks best on you. The second year is
arts and crafts, like making ashtrays out of twigs. The third
combines the first two. The fourth year gets tricky - the
focus is skipping class while making the instructor think
you really were there. Actually, the goal of the last year
Underwater Basket Weaving is the same for all majors.
Now that you know how to pick a major, you’re all set for
your college career.
Part III — Now for the most important thing ...
BEER! (Sorry, Chris, you’re out of space. — ed.)
Chris S. Cobb is a graduating senior English major
/,