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Tuesday, February 8,1994
The Battalion Editorial Board
JULI PHILLIPS, Editor in chief
MICHAEL PLUMER, Managing editor KYLE BURNETT, Aggielife editor
BELINDA BLANCARTE, Night news editor DENA DIZDAR, Aggielife editor
HEATHER WINCH, Night News editor SEAN FRERKING, Sports editor
TONI GARRARD CLAY, Opinion editor WILLIAM HARRISON, Photo editor
JENNIFER SMITH, City editor \
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The global economy - freeing our markets, freeing our consciences
EDITORIAL
J wete ^
irdayai
io me to
ither pt
Wake-up to reality
I; New policy a waste of time
The red pots are coming to
•M ■ a d° or near you, and they're
; em ff| not leaving until you get up.
n,!B Although First Cut is still on
the other side of summer
break, the issue is very much
alive over how on-campus,
male Aggies should be awak
ened and motivated to attend
■hen he
i&M co<;
i'hat It
id a go:
n San ]ti ;;
cut.
class act
er House
ering foi
Aggies to
n you an
i?" Brand
"You al-
The tradition of banging on
doors, blasting music and cre-
cond te. ating early morning mayhem
backatS | i n an effort to rouse the able-
bodied shows no signs of
oolfool* slowing down - creating
Califon | rules to regulate it is a wasted
liversity effort.
seconda Some believe the tradition-
f .^1 way is the best way. There's
nothing like having an axe
handle crash against the door
before dawn, accompanied by
a wake-up call any Marine
sergeant would be proud of.
It's tradition, the way things
have always been done.
Then there are those who
believe wake-up is a silly tra
dition, at best. We're college
students after all. We should
would 1§ be able to decide on our own
when and why to get out of
bFable' bed.
1 told he#
•ess roi'i
I her sir |
ed to'
day.
uard birj
hen 1
h, and (i
ically
"You;
/ou exp; |
4 team-
y
Sundaf
/ou;
elievea
are a" r
- on II
rts wrii; |
j for ftf
vv,
room r '
istory
id the"
ox" ml 1
Many students work or
have outside obligations that
cause them to get to bed at
odd hours. It's not fair to be
awakened only hours after
falling asleep for something
that seems quite meaningless
in the grand scheme of things.
The rules regarding wake-
up procedures should be fol
lowed so that everyone can
enjoy college. But ... they
aren't. And they probably
never will be. So, why are we
even bothering to pass a new
policy regulating wake-up
calls? The old policy was con
tinuously broken. Why would
new regulations be regarded
any differently?
Cut has been done the
same way for quite a long
time, and rules don't seem to
be affecting it. Tradition does
not always make right, and
some things are well worth
fighting against. But, this isn't
one of them.
Fair or not, unless you're
planning to hide behind your
door with a bucket of water,
the best option is either ear
plugs or going to cut. That's
life.
Opinion
The Battalion
Page 11
The world according to Max Winnebago
Noted pundit answers today's most pressing questions
DAVE
WINDER
Columnist
D ear Max Win
nebago: Why is
there a statue of
a man walking with a
dog between Scoates
Hall and the architec
ture building when
dogs aren't even al
lowed on campus? —
Wondering in Gainer
Dear Wondering:
The unique sculpture is
actually the Greek god
Zeus walking his fa
vorite canine. Prissy.
It's just A&M's special
little way of appeasing
the gods. Another inter
esting sculpture that can be found on campus
is the Menos (translated: huge piece of twisting
metal) found behind the Halbouty building.
Dear Max Winnebago: I just wanted to
know when you planned on graduating? I
know being a 28-year-old man and a seventh
year senior can be pretty tough sometimes, but
don't you think you could actually get a degree
eventually? — Anonymous
Dear Mom and Dad: I know I'm taking
longer than you expected, but can't you get off
my case? I'm sorry I can't be like my successful
big brother, Roger. I'm really sorry I can't be
the greatest son in the world all the time. It's
time for you both to start using words that help
and stop using words that hurt.
Dear Max Winnebago: I've been having a
lot of trouble with women lately, so one my
friends suggested I write you. Since you have
been here at A&M since the Disco Age, we fig
ured you must have some tips on how to pick
up girls? — Desperate in Bryan
Dear Desperate: Through my years at
A&M, I have picked up quite a few women by
using just eight pick-up lines. Memorize and
prosper.
1. Baby, you got an hourglass figure with a
paper bag face.
2. Since your friend turned me down,
would you like to dance?
3. You're pretty ugly, but the bar's closing
— so how about it?
4. Hey is that Danzig's "Mother"? Honey,
they're playing our song.
5. Baby is your name Gillette, because
you're the best a man can get?
6. Wow, your name is Cindy. My cousin's
ex-wife's name is Cindy.
7. So, did you make that shirt with the Be-
dazzler?
8. Nothing personal. I just want to sleep
with you.
Dear Max Winnebago: Why does A&M's
archeology department have the largest co-
prolite (petrified human feces) collection in
the world? — Puzzled on Holleman
Dear Puzzled: A&M began accumulating
specimens for study in the early 1980s after
University of Texas researchers began brag
ging about their collection of used facial tis
sues from a Hungarian Flu breakout during
the Middle Ages. Both colleges are now in the
running to acquire the Pierce Institute's collec
tion of ancient belly button lint.
Dear Max Loser: You stupid goober. When
are you going to stop blaming me for all the
troubles you have caused? The only reason
you're still mad at me is because of what hap
pened with Glora Jean Bradshaw. Grow up
and graduate, you stupid dork! — Signed
Roger
Dear Spaz: I'll graduate when I'm darn
good and ready. So don't go telling me that all
my problems stem from when you stole Glora
Jean Bradshaw from me. She broke my heart
way before that even happened. You didn't
steal her; I let you have her.
Dear Max: I just read your response to
"Crying in Caldwell" who thinks her 16-year-
old daughter, "Stacy," is having sex with her
boyfriend who is at least ten years older. I
cannot believe you had the nerve to tell her,
"This is what's happening these days — don't
blame yourself." — Ann in Hughes
Dear Ann: Did you happen to notice that
"Stacy" and her boyfriend were taking the
proper precautions? I hope my children will
be as responsible as she is.
Dear Wimpebago: I don't know where you
get off telling people that you actually owned
me. That's the same reason I left you for your
brother, you insensitive jerk. I'm glad I
dumped you back then. It makes it much easi
er to laugh at you now. You're scum. — Glora
Jean
Dear Glora Jean: You're just mad because a
16-year-old girl from Caldwell has taken your
place.
Dear Max Winnebago: I'm a humor colum
nist for my school newspaper, but not many
people find me funny. So I made fun of my
parents for some cheap laughs, and now they
won't pay my tuition. What can I do? —
Signed J.D.W. in Fowler
Dear J.D.W. — Don't come crying to me.
Who do I look like — "Dear Abby"?
Dave Winder is a sophomore journalism major
Editorials appearing in The
Battalion reflect the views of the
editorial board. They do not
necessarily reflect the opinions
of other Battalion staff members,
the Texas A&M student body,
regents, administration, faculty
or staff.
Columns, guest columns,
cartoons and letters express the
opinions of the authors.
The Battalion encourages
letters to the editor and will print
as many as space allows. Letters
must be 300 words or less and
include the author's name, class,
and phone number.
We reserve the right to edit
letters and guest columns for
length, style, and accuracy.
Contact the opinion editor for
information on submitting guest
columns.
Address letters to;
The Battalion - Mail Call
013 Reed McDonald
Mail stop 1111
Texas A&M University
College Station, TX 77843
Fax: (409) 845-2647
'Pinion based in religious belief deserves equal consideration
I n the recent
past, courts
have severely
| restricted the
jfrights of religions.
|The "establish-
|ment clause,"
Jwhich the found
ling fathers de-
|vised to prevent
|the government
rom favoring one
iligion over an-
)ther, has become
i justification for
[viewing all reli-
jions with suspi-
:ion. But the Free-
iom of Restoration Act, prohibiting the
[prosecution of churches as individuals,
/as passed in 1993 thanks in great part to
|the odd alliance of Senator Orrin Hatch, a
Jtah Republican, and Senator Edward
vennedy, a Massachusetts Democrat.
This act is much needed, but it comes
|too late for the American Indian tribes
/ho were forced to abandon the use of
'ote in their religious rites (as if they
could justgo out and find new cere
monies). The court’s inappropriate ruling
treated the American Indian tribes without
tire special considerations grmranteed in
the Constitution. The founding fathers
never intended our government to be hos
tile to religions, and the Freedom of
Restoration Act restores liberties and
means progress for all religions in Ameri
ca.
There's also been a resurgence of "fami
ly values" in executive branch rhetoric.
Hillary Rodham Clinton has spoken of a
need for values, and President Clinton
said no government agency can substitute
for a family's care. Even outside the collec
tive imagination of tl te older generation
(which always thinks we're going to Hell
in a handbasket), the general belief, as vio
lence and crime increase rapidly, is that
the fabric of our society is unraveling.
Americans are worried, but there is still
a reluctance to consider spiritual solutions.
Those who offer them are forced to be
apologists for their beliefs. More and more
religions and religious people aren't taken
seriously in the intellectual hubs of our
country.
In his book, "The Culture of Disbelief/'
Stephen Carter, a law professor at Yale
and confirmed liberal, concludes the same
thing; intellectual elites in America view
religion as something akin to a hobby and
best left that way — something that ratio
nal people dorit participate in.
John Leo of U.S. New & World Report
agreed: "When religions bring their moral
concerns into the public arena, the elite ...
Those who offer spiritual
solutions are forced to be
apologists for their be
liefs. More and more reli
gions and religious people
aren't taken seriously.
stamp>s its collective feet and howl about a
crumbling wall between church and
state." Leo says this elite culture "is so
wedded to individualism that it cannot ac
cept ... that religions are communities that
operate in and out of the political arena on
shared moral beliefs.'
From the ideological left, Jeff Greenfield
of the Universal Press Syndicate said
about the religious right; "Tm tired of peo
ple ... seeing the Ayatollah Khomeini be
hind this movement. Religion and politics
were bound together in the civil rights
movement and anti-Vietnam War move
ment; there's nothing wrong with people
on the right doing the same thing ..."
Carter said if one disagrees with Pat
Buchanan or politicians like him, it should
be his opinions that one disagrees with,
not that he invokes the name of God when
voicing them. And if one wants to criticize
President Qinton, it shouldn't be because
Hillary wore a crucifix at the Inauguration.
(They came under fire by some who
deemed her necklace inappropriate.)
It should be okay for religious beliefs to
influence one's opinions, whatever the re
ligion — mainstream faiths aren't the only
ones to be considered seriously. And it
should be okay to wear whatever you like
when your spouse is sworn in as the Presi
dent of the United States.
At the same time, people shouldn't act
like idiots in the name of God, assume that
religions are the only birthplace of values
or insist that churchgoers are inherently
better people. Opinions of a religious na
ture are neither less nor more important
than any others, and they simply should
n't be disregarded without consideration.
No one is arguing for a national reli
gion. In the past such notions have led to
the enforcement of certain beliefs at the ex
pense of others. In our enlightened at
tempts to prevent the establishment of an
official religion, the proverbial pendulum
has swung in favor of absolute secularism.
By allowing it to stay there, we may be do
ing a great disservice to ourselves. The
separation doctrine has been misinterpret
ed.
Writer Steve Roberts said that we ought
to "... redesign a 'wall of separation' that
lets the most positive religious values into
public life..."
It is no longer wise to pretend that reli
gions and the values that may accompany
them have no place in public debate or
public lives.
Erin Hill is a senior English major
just
Hype men's hoops
After having read The Battalion for
the three short weeks of the semester,
we would like to express our tremen
dous disgust at the terrible coverage
that our men's basketball team has
been getting.
On Feb. 3, the day after our team
upheld their perfect record in the
Southwest Conference by beating Bay
lor on the road, they received a small
corner on the back of the sports page.
As if that weren't degrading enough,
the article began with a headline im
plying that the victory could be credit
ed to the injury of a Baylor player,
rather than the skills and tremendous
effort of the Aggie team.
We are football fans, too, and do
care a great deal about the recruiting
for next year, but it is basketball sea
son, and our team deserves all the sup
port, recognition and respect that our
campus can give them. We know that
the day before was football signing
day, but we are tired of football al
ways coming first in our media, when
our basketball players work just as
hard as the football players.
We hope that the student body
shows the team that we do care about
them and their outstanding efforts by
coming to all of the home games left
this season. We hope to see you (and
The Battalion sports staff) in G. Rollie
White on Feb. 9, 16, 20 and March 1
and 5 as we beat the hell out of our op
ponents!
Kristi Mersbach
Class of '94
Katie Harris
Class of '94
Beutel stance on pill
the right decision
I am writing in response to Paul
Herrera's letter that appeared in Mail
Call on Feb. 4 concerning the distribu
tion of the "morning after" pill at Beu
tel Health Center.
I am sure that the directors of the
health center had more in mind than
trying to "legislate morality" (a cliched
term which may as well read "Don't
make me feel responsible for my ac
tions.") when they decided not to carry
the pill.
Let me explain. I pay a relatively
small health center fee of $25 every se
mester. From this money, other Aggies
are able to get free examinations and
low cost medicine.
I certainly don't have anything
against a small amount of money going
to cure fellow Ags of a cold or the flu,
but I would rather not have it going to
"cure" pregnancy.
Now, as long as the morning-after
pill is legal, I can't do anything to stop
someone from going out and buying it
with their own money — but I hope
you understand that I don't want one
penny of my own money furthering the
slaughter of unborn children.
Tim Behne
Class of'94
Editor's note: To clear up any confusion,
the morning-after pill is not the same as
the RU-486 pill, which is illegal in this
country.
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