uary 18,1993
Opinion
The Battalion
The hitchhikers' guide to opinion
Exploring the writing animals of the spring semester
STACY
FEDUCIA
Editor
Editorials
Lines in the sand
Iraqi defiance provokes response
:ED/The Battalion
tender in the
) 5-8 overall.
The latest in a series of attacks on
’aqby military forces of several na-
ions should serve notice to Iraqi
aader Saddam Hussein that further
ilatant violations of United Nations
solutions will not be tolerated.
The United States has been at the
brefront of the conflict ever since
ae Persian Gulf War two years ago.
ke then, Iraq has maintained its
lefiance of the United States and
deU.N. by attempting to retrieve
:ioperty in Kuwait that it "rightful-
iowns," by hindering U.N. inspec-
|ta attempts at surveying military
irsenals, and even by developing
pmponents for nuclear weapons.
The United States is completely
jstified in its decision to attack se
lective military outposts in the so-
ialled "no-fly zone" and in the
proximity of Baghdad itself. The
Jnited States and the U.N. have
tried time and time again to curb
the belligerent antics of Hussein
through peaceful means. Yet Hus
sein has repeatedly refused to listen
to reason and, therefore, action had
to be taken.
Outgoing President Bush should
be given some credit for not sitting
on his laurels and waiting for the
new administration to settle its
problems with Iraq. Bush and his
military advisers took the initiative
and prevented this situation from
getting out of hand. White House
Press Secretary Marlin Fitzwater
also made it clear on Sunday that
further attacks would not be ruled
out if further defiance occurs.
Hopefully, incoming President
Bill Clinton will continue the actions
of the Bush administration in stand
ing up to Hussein and failing to put
up with his tyrannical behavior.
W elcome back to school and the
•■x'. 1 new and improved, fabu
lous, fantastic Opinion page,
the page of you, by you and for you, the
students.
That's right. Believe it or not, the Bat
talion Opinion page is composed of stu
dents just like you. Though you might
think us Commie/ Fascist/liberal/con
servative/hippie/ warmonger/femi
nist/chauvinist boneheads, the Battalion
Opinion page staff shares many common
traits with you, the students. We go to
class, usually. We attend school for four
years, or five or six or seven. We fre
quently encounter parking trauma and
usually whine about it.
Like you, we hold our own, individual opinions on a vari
ety of different subjects. The only difference? We get paid,
but not that much.
But in order for you to love and cherish us more as we nes
tle next to your Sbisa surprise at lunch, I thought I might give
you a thorough introduction to the Opinion staff and our natu
ral habitat: the Batt Cave.
Here at Opinion Central, our scientists have discovered five
distinct types of opinion writing: editorials, pro-con's, mail call
letters, guest columns and regular columns.
The first species of writing is the editorialus maximus. Com
monly referred to as editorials, these creatures travel in pack-
sand can only be seen Tuesday through Friday. Occurring in
pairs of local or student issues combined with national or in
ternational issues, the editorials provide the most thought-pro
voking two-a-days on the A&M campus.
Editorials express the consensus opinion of the Battalion
editors and the opinion page staff on a variety of issues. Read
them and impress your friends with your newly found, news
knowledge.
The second species of opinion writing goes by the name of
pro-con questionus. Like the editorials, pro-cons travel in pairs.
However, they are a rare species and can be sighted only on
Mondays. An extremely combative species, the pro-cons de
bate highly charged issues in order to offer readers both sides
of a question.
Written by individual columnists, pro-cons do not reflect
the opinions of the entire Battalion staff.
The third species of opinion writing falls under the genus of
Mail Call majorus. The most populous species on the page,
these animals appear almost daily — except at the beginning
of the semester when they are still involved in semester-break
hibernation practices. Give them a couple of weeks, and they
will overrun the page. In fact they are encouraged to do so, as
long as they are tagged with their names, student ID numbers,
classifications and phone numbers so that our scientists may
monitor their activities.
The fourth species of opinion writing is named guestus
columnus, or guest columns. They are a rare species and occur
infrequently. In fact, the delicate ecosystem of the Opinion
Page environment may prove hostile to them, unless the guest
columnists call in advance to obtain prior approval before sub
mitting their columns. Neither mail call submissions nor guest
columns reflect the opinions of the Battalion staffers.
Finally, and perhaps the most coveted species of opinion
writing is the columnus regularus, or daily column. The
columns are a rare and beautiful species encompassing all
points on the ideological spectrum. Writing on a bimonthly
basis, the ten columnists express their individual opinions and
not those of the newspaper.
The starting line-up for the spring semester includes: At
manager — though she should be in left field — Stacy Feducia,
a senior English and history major, writing on Thursdays.
Pinch-hitting at assistant editor is Julie Polston, a senior politi
cal science and journalism major, writing Thursdays as well.
Heading up the week on first base Monday, is Chris Whit
ley, a junior journalism major. Following on Tuesday at sec
ond base is Janet Holder, a senior journalism major. On
Wednesdays at third base is the dynamic duo, leading off with
John Scroggs a senior English and philosophy major, alternat
ing with David Brooks, a senior economics major.
Sliding into home on Friday is veteran player, Matt Dicker-
son, a sophomore economics major. Other returning veterans
include Toni Garrard-Clay, a junior speech communications
major, and Robert Vaquez, a senior journalism major. A rook
ie to the page is Rich lienderson, a sophomore political science
major.
And that's the team spring team, our proverbial "boys —
and girls — of summer." Look for them and other species of
opinion writing in a Battalion near you!
Feducia is a senior English and history major.
MLK legacy lives on
Campus activities honor leader
It is appropriate that we honor
lie birthday of the late civil rights
rader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
flth a national holiday. His dedica-
ion and contributions to a nonvio
lent movement of equality for peo-
fle of all color has proven to be an
example for everyone.
During the 1950s and '60s, King
irganized peaceful marches, rallies
nd demonstrations throughout the
South and encouraged his support
ers to maintain their passion for the
Rights Movement despite vio-
opposition. Perhaps King is
tet remembered for his stirring "I
Have a Dream" speech at the March
on Washington in 1963. King vivid-
described a world where all chil-
iren could live untarnished by the
vils of racial injustice.
Several organizations at Texas
A&M University will commemorate
King and his efforts with various
presentations by students and facul
ty. In addition, a "March to Free
dom" will take place Wednesday at
3 p.m. starting at the Fish Pond and
ending with a rally at Rudder Foun
tain. Students are encouraged to
participate in these events to learn
more about King and his contribu
tions to the movement.
King sacrificed much of his per
sonal life, including the privacy of
his own family. He ultimately lost
his life in pursuit of freedom from
racial intolerance. King established
a legacy that has inspired us to keep
his dream alive and continue to
strive for a world free of prejudice
and discrimination.
'Dittohead' ponders path of conservative commentator
Rush Limbaugh's attacks on Clinton show little creativity or class of past antics
R ush Limbaugh has V.D.
The radio commentator
has developed a case of
Vitriolic Diatribe Syndrome. I
Commend that he seek med
ical care immediately.
A proctologist would be
iiost appropriate because
bbaugh is increasingly be
coming full of — well, you
blow what. Now, for all of
die-hard Rush Limbaugh
fans - Dittoheads — wait a
Hinute, I like Limbaugh, pos
hly more than he likes him-
'*lf these days.
Those of you who follow
limbaugh's show faithfully will no doubt agree that
verbosity has taken a rather singularly abrasive
t!) ne as of late. I have investigated this phenomenon
; r 'd have concluded that there is a conspiracy about,
am feverishly attempting to contact Ross Perot in
^ effort to determine if he has any information that
( an confirm my suspicion that the real Rush Lim-
ugh is, I hate to say. Missing In Action.
OK, sports fans, try this one on for size: Could it
f* that a ghost of a Republican past has taken over
limbaugh's ample body in what would no doubt be
of the largest cases of possession on record. Let
■ s hearken back to a mid-summer's eve when Lim
baugh spent the night in the Lincoln Bedroom of the
White House of the soon-to-be-former President
Bush. As Limbaugh drifts off to sleep, unnamed Re
publican operatives in Ninja Turtle costumes steal
into the room, conjure up the spirit of a Republican
past and WHAMMO! Limbaugh is no more.
Could it be that Limbaugh was possessed by the
ghost of the late preeminent Republican attack
dog/spin doctor Lee Atwater? What else could ex
plain Limbaugh's apparent fixation with the Demo
cratic President-elect? Don't be surprised if Lim
baugh starts playing some blues guitar on his late-
night television program.
Limbaugh's constant bashing of President-elect
Clinton is very curious indeed. Is that the best a con
servative icon can do? Pout, fuss and whine about
Bill Clinton? Come on, now.
It would seem that Limbaugh is now a talk-show
personality in search of a protagonist or foil. His
other foils — femi-nazis, homeless rights advocates,
animal rights militants, environmentalist wackos and
the lot — now seem to be muted and uninviting vic
tims in light of Clinton's recent triumph. Now that
he is on the so-called "out list" along with Millie, the
Bush's dog, Limbaugh seems determined to dig ever
deeper and reach ever farther for material.
It is indeed a sad day when Rush Limbaugh sim
ply becomes a mouth piece for a vindictive Roger
Ailes and his arch-Republican cohorts — the gang
who brought about the collapse of the Republican
"Big Tent." A spurious group indeed. Now with the
Republicans and their "Big Tent" on the way out,
Limbaugh is rapidly becoming a sideshow. Come
on. Rush, making fun of Clinton's daughter does fall
beneath even you self-proclaimed level of morality
and virtue.
Face it, folks, Limbaugh needs ratings. The radio
legend has now become a victim of the medium he
has so adeptly poked fun at for years.
However, his penchant for taking statements out
of context and spinning them is beginning to wear
thin. The relevant insights he offered are now over
shadowed by his increasingly bombastic statements
and political demagoguery. Limbaugh has, unfortu
nately, sold out. If a zeppelin manufacturer would
sponsor his show, I would fully expect him to say
any day now "America needs a dirigible for a strong
defense."
He sold out. He gambled and lost and is now at
tempting to recoup his losses -- a gambit that any re
covering gambleholic knows is a lost cause. One
can't double-up to make up. If one says something
twice as loud and twice as often, that in itself does
not make it come true. If Limbaugh were as semi-
omnipotent as he claims to be, he would see the
virtue of chartering new ground and seeking new sa
cred cows to skewer rather than playing the same old
hand.
I for one will be sad to see Limbaugh go. He was
funny and undoubtedly saved many a small market
AM radio station. However, he has rolled the dice
and gone with the established power structure,
which will be out of power for at least four years.
Limbaugh sold out his conservative populist listen
ers and bought into a rapidly disintegrating Republi
can hierarchy.
I am convinced that Limbaugh, without any of his
brain tied behind his back, will be unable to continue
his career by bashing the Clintons for four years. If
the only people he can poke fun at are Bill and
Hillary Clinton, that will inevitably get old after
some time. It is far easier to kick a dog when the dog
is down, rather than when the dog and his friends
are biting you in the butt.
Hold on — I got 'ol Ross on the phone. A break
through, we're gonna find that rascal, the real Rush
Limbaugh. Maybe Perot knows of a good Exorcist.
Oh no, I was afraid of this, Perot said something
about seeing a large talk show host running across
his lawn this morning and one of his guards let loose
a guard log on the guy and the dog bit a hunk out of
his rear and...
Well, you know the rest of the story. So much for
Perot. Come on, lighten up.
Hays is a member of the Class of '88.
He lives in Bryam, Texas
1993
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